superconfessional

[khoiphan92]

ill embalm it then ebay it

[Halifamous]

So after all the peeing in jokes:

In university (my first university, the one I was kicked out of) we were all goons.

I mean huge goons, I mean levi's and white tee wearing, fight every night after the bar, drink four bottles of great white and break windows GOONS.

So one night we're at a pub, and it's a university town so pub just means "drink beer and get your dick rubbed on the dance floor where they keep the tables during the day", and my friends Milaney and Scotty-Mac (goon names) are sick of bathroom lines.

So they begin throwing their empty beer-pitchers (6$ for a full pitcher, roughly 4 pints) under the table and pissing in them.

This continues for some time, and we laugh and stick the pitchers back on the table.

They sit there, frothy and yellow and inviting.

We go to dance with girls with low self-esteem.

I return to the table in a few minutes, possibly because I failed miserably with the opposite sex. I see the most amazing sight. A young man stands by our table, hands on the handle of Milaney's pitcher, throwing his head back and drinking from it like a mug.

He was stealing our pitcher.

Except that he wasn't, he was stealing our pee.

Our PEE.

He swallows three whole mouthfulls before spewing the fourth out across the table, I can see froth running down the sides of his mouth, it clings in foamy droplets all over his shirt.

He stammers "It's... pee"

I laugh, I laugh so hard I collapse against the wall, I'm afriad I'm going to puke I'm laughing so hard, I'm afraid I may die, right here, watching the pee-man. Suddenly a very large person grabs me, throws me up against the wall and yells "what the fuck are you laughing at?" I tell him nothing.

"THAT'S my friend, it's his birthday, he better not have just drank pee!"

I'm trying to convince the guy that I don't know anything about it when he is grabbed by an even larger man.

It's my friend Malcolm, our go-to for fighting. From a small island fishing community, raised on beer and broken noses, I've seen malcolm knock out more people than were in my graduating class in high school. He has the guy by the lapels with his giant campbells chunky soup-can hands and he yells "Well you shouldn't be touching goddamn beer that isn't goddamn yours, that goes for you, and PISSMOUTH over there".

It was poetry, the whole scenario, poetry.

[mellowbonsai]

i actually am profmonnitoff

i am not in ghana currently.

you are the manager

and you are in control

[dismalfuture]

khoiphan, if you make a gold casting of your fish and price it reasonably, i will buy it to wear as a pendant. (0)

[chronoaug]

Superstalker confession:

At 1/10/08 at 2:45pm, sleazie ninja spent $5.28 at Sarku Japan. He went with double meat on his Special A. Good choice.

[geekbonchic]

Superconfession: I missed you, sufu.

[stuntastic]

Not really a confession but watever...

Cab ride back from the hospital, there was a car in the middle of the off ramp, just parked... At first I thought the persons battery just died... After passing, and looking at the person, it seems that the person had a stroke... My cab slowed down, and slightly pulled over, possibly getting out to help the person, but then did not, since I didnt answer him. (He was talking in Tagalog, I couldnt answer him anyways...)

Or maybe their battery died, and the person fell asleep waiting for someone to charge their batt... The hazards were on... So mayyybe...

[khoiphan92]

khoiphan, if you make a gold casting of your fish and price it reasonably, i will buy it to wear as a pendant. (0)

totally........

[panicnation]

I spend more time on SuFu than facebook.

[Renny]

i dunno...but using facebook is a confession in itself...nvr got it...nvr will

[Bane]

what X man?:confused:

Tried salvia last night.

Boooooorrrrriiiiinnnngggggg.

[dunkin deeznuts]

i dunno...but using facebook is a confession in itself...nvr got it...nvr will

werd, those sites ended at friendster for me.......back when me and tila tequila were best buds

[midnight]

werd, those sites ended at friendster for me.......back when me and tila tequila were best buds

naked pics?

[Egpt]

today i saw some royal blue wayfarers and decided to try them one cuz they looked great.

holy fuck they fitted me awfully, i had never tried wayfarers before and was very dissapointed that they looked so wrong on me because i was on "to cop" mode.

bah

[Blicero]

I just started here, but I've long needed to unburden myself of this.

The day of my grandmother's funeral, I was like 17, and after the reception at her retirement home I was alone in her bedroom.

I turned on the tv and Wonder Woman was on.

I proceeded to fap to Wonder Woman while lying on my newly dead grandmother's bed.

I still feel really guilty about that.

[dunkin deeznuts]

and of course you realize your grandmothers spirit was watching........

thats otherworldly nasty........

[joey_formal]

wow that is one helluva confession.

[Mr Waffles]

shuddderss

[n0torious]

Yea, that's really awful. I feel uncomfortable just thinking about it.

[willy cheesesteak]

son, you are sick.

[futuredwight]

To be fair, we all deal with grief in different ways.

But that shouldn't be one of them. That's just fucked up.

[gramps]

Coincidentially, at my grandmother's funeral, she was wearing a Wonder Woman costume. Small world!

[DüM]

I was sitting by some fat girl in class today and she had more facial hair than I ever will.

I also saw a chick with a jansport bag and a coach purse, horrible brand synergy.

[spacemanvt]

that is a mothaflippin super confession

wow

[dunkin deeznuts]

I was sitting by some fat girl in class today and she had more facial hair than I ever will.

I also saw a chick with a jansport bag and a coach purse, horrible brand synergy.

but coach and jansport are collabing now so its ok

[n0torious]

When I see morbidly obese people, I think I'm a better person than they'll ever be. That's fucked.

[samsikle]

When I see morbidly obese people, I think I'm a better person than they'll ever be. That's fucked.

i used to work in a cafe, and there would be this huge motherfucker that would come in on a wheelchair/walker and he would order two large oreo milkshakes, two pretzels with cream cheese and some cookies or brownies. i felt like i was contributing to his death. i also wanted to give him a brochure to weight watchers but i didn't.

[Fookums]

^

To be fair, that sounds pretty good.

edit: people should stop talking about food in this thread. It's gonna make me fat =[.

[Blicero]

Shit, at the risk of outwearing my welcome, I have a very similar confession to my first. It's not as bad, but in tandem, it's kind of pathetic.

I swear I have more going than whacking off to tv shows featuring ultra-strong women, but... the grad school I went to, when you get in, the admissions guy calls you personally to deliver the news.

When he called, I was mid-fap to a Xena episode, and for some reason I picked up the phone. I did that high-pitched surprised voice thing and he asks "is anything wrong?"

I've got a little problem.

[azn8oi]

small problem? no problem.