superconfessional

[Ahlvahroe]

kinda long so bear with me, and not even all that interesting.

i just spent most of the day the flea market. its like the biggest gathering of ghetto people, in one of the only lawless areas that i can think of. i needed some new drawers for my room and i didnt feel like spending money so i chose to go there cause i knew i could get em for cheap. the guy said i had to pay cash cause he would have to charge me taxes if i paid with credit, so i hit the atm and bought em.

then he has this kid, like 9 years old, wheel it to the car. what the fuck is up with this child labor right there. oh well, doesnt matter cause i got my drawers, and i tipped teh kid so i didnt feel that horrible about it. after than i went back and kept walking around and was so tempted to buy from teh sea of bootleg merchandise but i choose not to cause fake jordans with fake true religions is not good for the soul.

long story short i got my drawers, ate a corn dog, admired the big booty girls, walked alot, all while hanging out with my family (usually dedicate sundays to the family). love the flea market.

[samsikle]

you didn't get churros? that's the best part.

[Serge]

I feel bad not having a rad ass beard now that I know Dino's younger then me =[[[

[geekbonchic]

Dino makes men look like boys. And boys look like fetuses.

[samsikle]

Dino makes men look like boys. And boys look like fetuses.

haha i'm becoming fond of you rather quickly. would +rep if i didn't like two seconds ago or something

[Servo2000]

Dino has me worrying that I might actually be 13.

[still]

moving again tomorrow for the second time of this year. i hate moving

lost 4 paypal shipping labels and have to pay them all over again to reprint them

[fade to black2]

right now i feel like i've lost all direction in my life...lost my mojo so to speak.

i feel like i really need to get out of where I am, cut off everything that is giving me this safety net which is making me so comfortably numb...and start a whole new life and build a new identity for myself.

i've always been fascinated with disappearing...like one day just gone, without having to look back. Unfortunately I don't have the courage or strength to follow through with it in a productive manner. (note: to people who take this as a suicide note, it's not...i don't mean dying, just going somewhere else and starting fresh without anyone knowing who i am)

Man this must be the lowest point in my life...

[samsikle]

right now i feel like i've lost all direction in my life...lost my mojo so to speak.

i feel like i really need to get out of where I am, cut off everything that is giving me this safety net which is making me so comfortably numb...and start a whole new life and build a new identity for myself.

i've always been fascinated with disappearing...like one day just gone, without having to look back. Unfortunately I don't have the courage or strength to follow through with it in a productive manner.

Man this must be the lowest point in my life...

seriously within this past like weekend the things you posted remind me so much of my exboyfriend it's scary.

[fade to black2]

no samsikle...i'm not trying to be scary, i am just writing what i am feeling at this moment. Perhaps it's a bit dark, yes...well the rant i threw up this past weekend wasn't even meant to be something to scare people off, i was trying to encourage people to accept themselves for who they are. I really don't see how that got misinterpreted as some kind of lunacy...

See, that's another thing. I've told myself I need to quit socializing online and getting wrapped up in forums, where I interact with people I don't even get a chance to meet and develop real friendships with. It's self destructive...i'm sorry but I think another self imposed ban is in order. My life is too much of a mess right now to carry on with any of this.

[sidneylo]

i can't imagine living in another city besides san francisco but i'm also getting bored of it..

Unfortunately, it's boring everywhere.

[Fookums]

I don't think she meant what you wrote is scary, but the similarity you have with her ex.

And why don't you just leave your current life and actually start somewhere anew? Just find a place you've never been to and go there and just do whatever.

I've been thinking about that also before I started college, like, just go somewhere else and just think about what I want to do, but I pussied out :/. I regret it, but i'm comfortable. I still might do that later in life, but I hope I won't keep on delaying it.

[dismalfuture]

right now i feel like i've lost all direction in my life...lost my mojo so to speak.

i feel like i really need to get out of where I am, cut off everything that is giving me this safety net which is making me so comfortably numb...and start a whole new life and build a new identity for myself.

i've always been fascinated with disappearing...like one day just gone, without having to look back. Unfortunately I don't have the courage or strength to follow through with it in a productive manner. (note: to people who take this as a suicide note, it's not...i don't mean dying, just going somewhere else and starting fresh without anyone knowing who i am)

Man this must be the lowest point in my life...

So why not do it man? Disappearing is the pessimistic way of saying 'going someplace'... let's be real here and admit that when you do go someplace new, even if you're the most highly thought of, most loved person, people will check up on you for about 6 months tops, and then forget about you. All a cycle of life, then you resurface and pick up old ties, shed the old ones you didn't want before. I do it all the time.

[sidneylo]

Apparently sufu rehab didn't work...

[fade to black2]

So why not do it man? Disappearing is the pessimistic way of saying 'going someplace'... let's be real here and admit that when you do go someplace new, even if you're the most highly thought of, most loved person, people will check up on you for about 6 months tops, and then forget about you. All a cycle of life, then you resurface and pick up old ties, shed the old ones you didn't want before. I do it all the time.

Well...the first thing I need to do right now is find a way to curb my internet addiction completely. Part of my self destructive cycle is because I keep on coming back (not just to Sufu, but to online message boards in general), even when I realize that none of this interaction is productive or helpful to me, and I cannot call anybody I know on here my friend. So it's really not a helpful avenue for me to get out of my real life problems. I mean, everyone has issues...maybe mine are a bit deeper than others, but i think people should find a way to get rid of things that are troubling them before they can really move on.

I admit I have an addictive personality...i mean you can probably see that with my smoking already. Unless you guys cut me off for good like you did with westside, soranaam and others I don't think it's gonna help me at all.

[fade to black2]

Apparently sufu rehab didn't work...

Oddly, the time that I last quit Sufu and all online interaction, from about July to November 2007...things were going pretty well in my life. Maybe this really is the source of my troubles and self frustration.

[still]

right now i feel like i've lost all direction in my life...lost my mojo so to speak.

i feel like i really need to get out of where I am, cut off everything that is giving me this safety net which is making me so comfortably numb...and start a whole new life and build a new identity for myself.

i've always been fascinated with disappearing...like one day just gone, without having to look back. Unfortunately I don't have the courage or strength to follow through with it in a productive manner. (note: to people who take this as a suicide note, it's not...i don't mean dying, just going somewhere else and starting fresh without anyone knowing who i am)

Man this must be the lowest point in my life...

chin up matt.. last year was probablly worst year of my life too. basiclly everything went worse and worse. and it was supposed to be a fresh start in a new city for me..

i moved about seven times in san francisco..great way to downsize on crap but horrible way to lose sentimental goods..north beach, downtown, chinatown, sunset, richmond, mission, and currently...boresville.

i can't imagine living in another city besides san francisco but i'm also getting bored of it..

4 times in one year.. san francisco is a beautiful city unlike toronto :eek:

[Servo2000]

Unfortunately, it's boring everywhere.

QUIT BITCHIN' AND MAKE YOUR OWN GOOD TIMES SIDNEY MY MAN

THEY SAY SAN DIEGO SUCKS IT DOWN

I SAY FUCK YOU LETS RUN AMPLIFIERS OUT OF MY CAR AND THROW A PARTY IN THE FUCKING WOODS

[geekbonchic]

QUIT BITCHIN' AND MAKE YOUR OWN GOOD TIMES SIDNEY MY MAN

THEY SAY SAN DIEGO SUCKS IT DOWN

I SAY FUCK YOU LETS RUN AMPLIFIERS OUT OF MY CAR AND THROW A PARTY IN THE FUCKING WOODS

Is this possible? Can we set this up?

[dismalfuture]

Really? I think that's an odd way of seeing it mate, I don't really think this is the root of the problem though...

I discovered the phenomena of messageboards quite awhile ago and became addicted as well, I have a predisposition to being addicted to everything as well. But mainly, I enjoy it because I just can't do quiet time alone. I go out and live my life, but I just fucking love to talk and banter, so sufu fills a need for me in my offtime. I can't watch television or just browse sites, that is one-way and not enough for me. I will be the first to admit that I am a self-absorbed asshole but I find sufu to be therapeutic.

[Servo2000]

Is this possible? Can we set this up?

SHlTS NOT HARD

[fade to black2]

Really? I think that's an odd way of seeing it mate, I don't really think this is the root of the problem though...

I discovered the phenomena of messageboards quite awhile ago and became addicted as well, I have a predisposition to being addicted to everything as well. But mainly, I enjoy it because I just can't do quiet time alone. I go out and live my life, but I just fucking love to talk and banter, so sufu fills a need for me in my offtime. I can't watch television or just browse sites, that is one-way and not enough for me. I will be the first to admit that I am a self-absorbed asshole but I find sufu to be therapeutic.

Well...i come to online forums because i can't seem to find anything else to do when i'm at home alone either...i tried not coming to message boards, just reading the news and listening to music or whatever, but I can't seem to do it. And it's manifested itself in quite an ugly manner, like i'm starting to care about the opinions of people I don't know more than people who are actually my friends/family and those who actually know and support me.

I don't know why this is...maybe to fill some kind of void that's missing. Like I was posting myself wearing all this expensive shit so other people would tell me i'm lookin good, but not like i needed that already as people i know IRL do the same, without any of the excess drama or negative comments i sometimes get. But yeah man....maybe it's just the emptiness and neverending bottomless pit that never seems to get filled.

But really, mods if you're reading this do me a favor: ban me and don't let me in again like you did with westie and sora.

If this helps:

Soranaam

Soranaam

Soranaam

Soranaam

Soranaam

and anyone from here i talk to on AIM, MSN, whatever, delete and block my account. I already did that with yours.

[whitney]

Unfortunately, it's boring everywhere.

You'd know too..better then me cos I've only been to a handful of cities in the states..

4 times in one year.. san francisco is a beautiful city unlike toronto :eek:

You'd love sf! Its still as cold mebbe a bit warmer cos we don't get snow so you can layer all you want and now that the canadian dollar is strong..moar buying power!

[Guest chemi]

a direct link would probably do it for you

also edit in a picture of the dukpak

[fade to black2]

chemi, i like you man...do me a favor and PM me the link to soratalk.

"TRE, HAND ME MY MOTHERFUCKIN GLOCK!"

ahahah...

[totally epic]

Man, thur be dramaz up in hur.

[still]

just writing a letter to paypal to bitch about the $700 disappeared from my account for no reason at all. typed 900 something characters and closed the tab by accident.. arrrrrggghhh

[fade to black2]

Man, thur be dramaz up in hur.

nah, no dramaz, just me trying to get out the hell up outta here.

MODS...put it this way: if you don't ban me, i may end up in a mental institution or on the news. That should indicate the gravity of this situation.

[totally epic]

But you are being dramatic about it. If you wanted to quit SuFu so badly, just do it. Have some self control.

[Ippo]

Also, I have a presentation tomorrow on a research paper I haven't started, and it's enough effort just to focus on not freaking out. Anxiety is a bitch.

Same thing happened to me last week. Had to do a 15 minute presentation on a research paper I worked on the day before. Messed up in a few parts of the presentation, but overall wasn't too bad. Good luck on that.