Superawkward

[jbanger]

^ billionaire?

[ranonranonarat]

i dont know any models who became billionaires through modelling. well, unless you know something forbes doesn't know.

[dovo]

i was a millionaire on forza motorsport once

[NatseOklim]

That's just "credits" though.

[lmk1995]

browsing my dad's Facebook and seeing ladies post flirtatious shit on his wall.

[saffronrevolution]

browsing my dad's Facebook

period.

[Denton]

hypothetically if one is blasting criminology at work and two old people walk in what should one do

[Denpatou]

blast it louder

[bitchesbrew]

Was at a rib-fest, which naturally drew in the nickleback looking crowd, grabbed my food and began heading to the seating area when I dropped my soda which got pierced from some stones. The shit started spraying everywhere, I was trying to avoid getting it on myself or the heavy crowd to the right, so I directed the spray to the left where there was an open space in the crowd. I was sorta dazed the whole time, trying to avoid hitting crowd that was dodging the line of fire, while trying to grasp what the fuck was happening (since the whole ordeal lasted about 10 seconds). I heard a few light screams and 'wtf'-type expressions.

After the contents of the can emptied itself I realized that I had sprayed an entire family. I was walking in the same direction they were while they tried to dodge the spraying soda, so I guess they thought I was spraying them on purpose. I walked away while apologizing and trying to explain how the soda dropped. I looked back and an old dude, around 6 foot 5, was clenching his fists staring me dead in the eyes looking like he was about to reach super saiyan 3. The food was pretty good though.

[lawlercopterz]

got a new roommate from france today... not ten minutes after he gets here my girl comes over for uhh.. relations.

it was awkward. for him.

[gettoasty]

Wasn't there like a series of that ^

Some chick from hawaii

[StrangeLove]

need source

[halomunkey]

its in the kag thread somewhere, somebody even posted her facebook n shit.

google spore-chan

[okonomi]

^ I hate to break your flight, but "supermodels" get shit tons of money. I know the guy who did the last versace x hm advert and he's already a billionaire at 19… and boys are less paid than girls.

I know this is old now, but, wasn't this kind of clearly just hyperbole?

[Dropt]

I guess I just lack of sleep then… my bad.

[merry burger]

Yesterday, I was waiting to get on the uptown 6 train. The doors open up and I'm waiting on the side so people can get out, when suddenly a gigantic man wearing dark shades with a blind man's cane comes barrelling out straight at me. Before I can move out the way, he cracks me in the shin with his cane so hard it sounded like my leg broke in half. To make things worse, he put out his hand, saying, "Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry," and went to pat me on the shoulder, but instead ferociously honked my boob.

I couldn't even yell at him, dude's blind...

[baldy]

so you think...

[shinobi2000]

similar story -- my college dorm was a high rise with offices on the second floor. those of us living on the highest floors would fucking *hate* it when someone from the second floor would take the elevator down to the lobby. Imagine you're on the 23rd floor and it stops every floor to pick up passengers, the last thing you need when you're rushing to class is that elevator stopping on the 2nd floor for some old fat office worker who can't take one flight of stairs down. My friends and I always had a snarky comment whenever someone did that -- we'd say to each other, "wow don't you just hate it when the stairs break down?" Well one day, some old guy did it and of course we made that comment. The guy turns around and says, "I've had a bad knee since Vietnam you ungrateful assholes" !!!! ha ha

[ifeelasleep]

^ might work

http://www.blameitonthevoices.com/2010/07/elevator-hack.html

[philosophiliac]

blind dude feels some noona DDs

how do these things keep happening to you? you're charged with superawkward energy or something

[boy better know]

That's pretty much my case...

The first bj I gave was to my first girlfriend's ex during a threesome, I was 13. The funny thing is that a few years later, that guy came out as well, and hooked up with me again before he graduated lol.

The first time I finished someone off was when I was 14, I blew my pedophile teacher who was 38 and married, in his office. It was during the second period snack break, he came so fast I wasn't even late for my next class...

[BearCousin]

merry burger is the female dovo

[heyheyhey]

Myself and two female nurses are looking at this old dude's messed up feet, he comments to me how lovely the two young nurses are. Now one of these nurses is mid 40's, the other around 20.

The older one laughs saying she could be the other's mother.

The younger nurse: "Yeah! I don't look THAT old do I?"

Silence. I think even the old demented man knew.

[timber]

My family was having this summer party last night, will all my little brother's elementary school friends and their parents, and I was invited since I was in town. And because the entire invite list was comprised of fifty year olds and eleven year olds, my sister and I were loitering in the kitchen.

This kid walked in the room and started opening cupboards frantically, saying he was trying to find marshmallows. I grabbed them from one of the drawers, walked them over and then suddenly got really seriously as I was handing them to him, doing the whole Godfather thing: 'Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you, etc, etc."

Suddenly I heard someone clearing their throat from the door way, and it was the kid's mom. She was silent for a moment. giving me this weird look. She called for her son, and put her arm around him protectively, and sort of looked back at me, really suspicious and disturbed. She then backed slowly out of the room, pulling her son along with her.

I think she didn't recognize the reference/thought I was a huge creep.

[DaBestSpoona]

Yesterday, I was waiting to get on the uptown 6 train. The doors open up and I'm waiting on the side so people can get out, when suddenly a gigantic man wearing dark shades with a blind man's cane comes barrelling out straight at me. Before I can move out the way, he cracks me in the shin with his cane so hard it sounded like my leg broke in half. To make things worse, he put out his hand, saying, "Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry," and went to pat me on the shoulder, but instead ferociously honked my boob.

I couldn't even yell at him, dude's blind...

Was this guy on the 6 train begging for changed? One time he dropped a bill, I told him he dropped it, and he turned around bent down and picked it up without feeling around the floor.

[hahapete]

I met this chick in Tel Aviv who after three days of hanging out, told me that I could just stay with her instead of paying for a hotel room. She was attractive and seemed to be sane so I figured it would be fun.

What she didn't tell me then was they her apartment was "under remodel" and was the weirdest living space I have ever been in. I don't think it was designed to be an apartment and rather was supposed to be a large conference room with a bathroom attached to it and a random kitchen put in. It was a single room with the kitchen in one corner, the bed area in one, the bathroom in the next, and then in the middle was this large table where she drew, painted, and did artsy shit. There was one door: the entrance/exit. From any part of the room you could see everything else. Nothing obscured your view of the toilet or shower.

The first few nights I slept on an air mattress and then later on we slept together in her bed. Because she accidentally popped the air mattress. Overall it was pretty decent cause I didn't have to pay for a hotel.

I would time my bathroom business for when she was out of the apartment cause I couldn't get used to showering or shitting in plain view. It was just weird. She, on the other hand, didn't care.

We would hang out whenever I wasn't getting lost and whenever she wasn't doing her art. But then things got weird.

One night she told me she had to do something and left in a hurry. Curious and bored, I flipped through the sketch books she left on her table.

They were filled with drawings of me. I wish I took a picture of them. They were really good but absolutely creepy. She had pages of drawings of me sleeping with notes like, "2:35AM: a flip and a scratch to the arm".

She came back while I was still looking at them and she flipped out. I apologized for going through her stuff and she told me that I had to leave. I packed my shit up and on my way out she yelled, "I WAS SO INSPIRED BY YOU. I WISH I COULD'VE KEEP YOU FOREVER."

Left Tel Aviv the next day. Ha.

[Spaghettini]

welcome back

[Dropt]

Your life is so full of fuck.

[Desi]

The fuck I dream about living. So scary dude.

[dovo]

but how.