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Had an incredibly difficult 2 years on the personal side, hit with things I never imagined could happen and seemed like the onslaught of bad news wasn't ever gonna end. I don't think I really realized how much it impacted other parts of my life until recently, everything from business to personal relationships / friendships to even questioning what value I add to this "life" and the world around me...thoughts I never imagined I'd have. I'm an incredibly optimistic person, but I really understand now how demoralizing and how demotivating it can be to keep running into hardships, and realizing how apt even I was to completely changing the kind of person I am as I dealt with some of this shit. As things have settled down over the last few months I feel like I'm kind of starting over in a way, re-learning how to be creative and how to motivate myself to be better, more inventive, etc, and actually starting to feel some positivity again, and just those hints at getting my head back in the game feel really good. I'm not sure if it's that things are falling off the plate, or I'm just getting better at dealing with them, but I'm beginning to feel like the old me again. Not really sure if anything is gonna get easier anytime soon or not, but I think I'm at least gonna start having a better outlook again.

tl:dr - hit rock bottom, felt sorry for myself, looked in the mirror and said stop being a pussy, #feelsabitbetterman

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i feel more alive now than i have in 2 1/2 yrs. just 1 more thing needs to move the fuck out of my way and its almost gone. let me fuck some shit up to speed up the process and I'm gold.

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Oh fuck I'm a lazy student. Too much partying and chilling this semester. Need to get back in the library in a big way, but finding it hard to just sit down and do the work. At least my subjects are interesting, that's a plus.

BareMinimum complex.

Edited by heyheyhey
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on that note

i'm still doing the same shit in school I did in high school. doing the bare minimum amount of work needed to get all A's. Last quarter I got all A's, halfway through this quarter and it seems like I'll be doing the same. I have spent maybe 10 hours total studying since school started in September, and I do all my homework during lunch before its due. And its not like I'm taking some mickey mouse english 101 to 'figure shit out', i'm doing a computer programming course.

it feels really good to be able to do something and understand it well, especially when i see people trying much much harder than me and still struggling. my confession is that i love this feeling

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I gave my good friend 800 bucks to fly home back viginia to live with his mom so he can sober up. Instead of going to virginia he goes to atlanta moving from dope house to dope house hanging out with his drug addicted buddies that he met at dope parties. i am furious and saddened that such an intelligent individual is throwing himself away.

Edited by StrangeLove
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Man im sittin in class on my computer doing hw for some other class and this kag beezy is hoggin the outlet….To cruise her tumblr dashboard and contribute on yelp. Dis Bitch

I think i love her.

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Posted · Hidden by tac0tron, February 11, 2012 - paranoia.
Hidden by tac0tron, February 11, 2012 - paranoia.

I've been quite patient with her for about two years, but now all of the sudden I have this mental patience bar slowly depleting...

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Man im sittin in class on my computer doing hw for some other class and this kag beezy is hoggin the outlet….To cruise her tumblr dashboard and contribute on yelp. Dis Bitch

I think i love her.

I am imagining you reading this post back and unintentionally saying

out loud in a gucci mayne voice in the library

Maybe trying several times because you can't quite get the tone right before you realise she's looking at you

thus creating the superawkward post soon to follow.

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