superconfessional

[wrong_move]

I should be happy with what I've accomplished in the past year, but I know I'm still a wreck

It's just hilarious how I managed to dig a deeper hole for myself emotionally when I thought I'd finally got out of it

Fuck

[Nov Spur]

Never feel sorry, beautiful things come out of random acts of chaos. You gave that man a wonderful conversation starter for the afternoon. 

[okonomi]

More info on the confusing street harassment, please.

[Mr HaGa]

I never thought this would happen to me again, but for the first time in 10 years I am obsessively, sick-to-my-stomach, going-so-fucking-crazy-I-wanna-kill-myself in love.  And for the first time ever in my life, I think it's mutual.  The kicker is that I'm married with kids, not really happily, but not miserably unhappily until the last year or so.  I'm at a loss as to whether or not I should try to supress these feelings and wait till they fade and go on with an unfullfilling life that's slowly wearing me down, or hurt people I care a lot about, walk out on the life that I've been trying to build for the past 8 years and pursue this slim chance at true happiness...

I fucked up big time letting it all come this far...

Edited June 6, 2013 by Mr HaGa

[automaton]

^ ^ ^

 

[OkayOkay]

be careful not to mix up love with a breath of fresh air or a rebound. I did the exact same thing after splitting from my wife / partner of 10 years. People told me the same thing I'm saying now and I didn't listen, and while the rebound was worth it (it really was exactly what I needed at the time), it proved to be just that. It didn't have the qualities that separate love from lust, and those two are almost indistinguishable sometimes. It took me a while to really understand what the idea of love was, and not just infatuation afforded by newly found freedom. Have fun, but proceed cautiously. 

[magas]

i suck at writing e-mails to potential employers

[denimdestroyedmylife]

I never thought this would happen to me again, but for the first time in 10 years I am obsessively, sick-to-my-stomach, going-so-fucking-crazy-I-wanna-kill-myself in love.  And for the first time ever in my life, I think it's mutual.  The kicker is that I'm married with kids, not really happily, but not miserably unhappily until the last year or so.  I'm at a loss as to whether or not I should try to supress these feelings and wait till they fade and go on with an unfullfilling life that's slowly wearing me down, or hurt people I care a lot about, walk out on the life that I've been trying to build for the past 8 years and pursue this slim chance at true happiness...

I fucked up big time letting it all come this far...

 

my dead dad told me this thing (when he was still alive):

 

a snake was crossing the railroad tracks

and the train ran over its tail

the snake turned around and tried to bite the train

and the snake was decapitated

 

do not lose your head over a piece of tail

[denimdestroyedmylife]

okay maybe that anecdote doesn't quite apply

 

but still, it is better to suffer quietly than to hurt others chasing waterfalls

 

stick to the rivers and lakes that you are used to

[Mr HaGa]

be careful not to mix up love with a breath of fresh air or a rebound. I did the exact same thing after splitting from my wife / partner of 10 years. People told me the same thing I'm saying now and I didn't listen, and while the rebound was worth it (it really was exactly what I needed at the time), it proved to be just that. It didn't have the qualities that separate love from lust, and those two are almost indistinguishable sometimes. It took me a while to really understand what the idea of love was, and not just infatuation afforded by newly found freedom. Have fun, but proceed cautiously.

Point taken, but this has been building for over a year and I'm pretty sure it's more than a mere infatuation at this point. My marriage was in decline before this happened, too.  I don't really think so, but maybe it would just a rebound and maybe that would be exactly what I need.  I don't know, I'm so fucking torn up over this, always in my own head, insomnia, lost 40lbs in 4 months, suicidal... But this probably wasn't the best place to vent this, so anyways...

Edited June 7, 2013 by Mr HaGa

[Mr HaGa]

Also, I had to hire some new people at work, and one of the candidates had great qualifications and relevant experience and all I could wish for for this one position, and when I was checking her references and googling her, I noticed that she didn't have any social media activity, but I did stumble upon some nudes of her on 4chan. Still hired her...

[denimdestroyedmylife]

so I bought my first pair of non-selvage Levi's STFs since the late 1990s. 

this is my first 24 hours with them and I think I'm cool with them.

this is my most inexpensive new jeans since I joined this forum.

 

i think i'm ok with this.

[wahwho11]

so they aren't destroying your life anymore?  thank goodness.  + 1 on the tlc

[kelleydenham]

Gained back 5 pounds which I am furiously attempting to lose again. I am pretty sure I stress myself out with all this weight stuff. Wouldn't be surprised if I had Body Dysmorphic Disorder (you are preoccupied with perceived faults in your body constantly). On a good note however, I have a seriously fun job at this local coffee shop this summer. Its really fulfilling and just what I needed after months of feeling like I was doing nothing with my life (even tho I was in school at the time).

[wahwho11]

everyone has body issues.  there's probably 5+ gyms in a 3 mile radius of my house.

[sawyer]

I never thought this would happen to me again, but for the first time in 10 years I am obsessively, sick-to-my-stomach, going-so-fucking-crazy-I-wanna-kill-myself in love.  And for the first time ever in my life, I think it's mutual.  The kicker is that I'm married with kids, not really happily, but not miserably unhappily until the last year or so.  I'm at a loss as to whether or not I should try to supress these feelings and wait till they fade and go on with an unfullfilling life that's slowly wearing me down, or hurt people I care a lot about, walk out on the life that I've been trying to build for the past 8 years and pursue this slim chance at true happiness...

I fucked up big time letting it all come this far...

 

half confession, half talking at you: for some of us life is unfullfilling no matter what we do. happiness is a fantasy that will always remain outside one's grasp, whether by inches or miles. in the mean time, don't destroy people who seem to want it or have it. unfortunately i learned this too late and have deeply hurt or disappointed everyone i have known. this is why i have chosen a life of solitude, so as few people as possible are sucked into my black-hole like misery. good luck.

[Mr HaGa]

^This person I'm talking about is as batshit crazy as I am.  It could be so fucking perfect, we're like a double negative making a positive...

 

I should stop talking about this now probably.

[Dropt]

this is why i have chosen a life of solitude, so as few people as possible are sucked into my black-hole like misery. good luck.

 

 

[mrchariybrown]

everyone has body issues.  there's probably 5+ gyms in a 3 mile radius of my house.

 

 

Speak for yourself

[hahapete]

I spent the second half of work watching Japanese YouTube videos of dogs.

 

Hi mapclub.

[haploid]

i am making no effort to finish music projects that were of the utmost importance to me in the fall, even though now i have a manager w/ all of the connections i could possibly want and a few labels who are fully on board w/ releasing my work on vinyl and digital. keep having to send him bs emails about why i don't have any more updates/final copies of tracks by now, even though it's been months and months.

 

shit just ain't feeling right. can't make anything i feel confident about anymore. everything sounds so forced and contrived and the process is more frustrating and depressing than pleasurable or cathartic. seeing all of my old high school acquaintances dabbling in production, filling their soundclouds with slapped-together bullshit just makes it worse b/c i've always been morbidly serious about my process/craft for the 5 years i've been doing it. hope to pull out of this rut but not seeing any breaks in the clouds.

[kH0yA Sw@Gp0o]

^take a break; relax. was feeling the same so i tore down my (drum)kit and didn't practice; not even rudiments or what.
rehearsed with my band yesterday even if i haven't been keeping to my daily practice routine at home (been maybe a month or so now?) but i found i had all these new ideas and ways to apply them, etc etc.
also there's always going to be bitches who trivialize your craft; shit on them by continuing to take it seriously and making proper material with thought and the like put into it. some people unconsciously turn making music into a game but those kinds of people never really get past touting their soundclouds or some shit all the time. 

take a breather then see how you feel-- don't lose that chance/connection with the manager etc etc.
best of luck to you. 

[wood 666]

bought a pack of cigarettes...

[tac0tron]

^do you know where you are on the internet right now?

[sawn-off chef]

Lessons from this weekend:

A ) Steak and eggs, coupled with unlimited drunk brunch, is a perfect base for day to night drunk transition.

B ) British girls are hot as fuck.

Edited June 10, 2013 by sawn-off chef

[tween_spirit]

Lessons from this weekend:

A ) Steak and eggs, coupled with unlimited drunk brunch, is a perfect base for day to night drunk transition.

B ) British girls are hot as fuck.

 

 

 

 

lol

[gettoasty]

i feel like such a chump

 

I work on the 2nd floor and monday morning i, among other coworkers, witnessed some type of domestic disturbance out in the parking lot. a lot of screaming, and car tires squeaking at hard turns and stops.this couple was bickering and the girl did not want to get into dudes car (i think she gets dropped off work every morning). 

 

she walks away (away from the building oddly), and the dude jumps in his vehicle driving down the parking lot and abruptly making a sharp skirt to stop the girl with the front of his car. they exchange a bit with him still in the  car and she standing outside. He then comes out goes around the back of his car to the other side and yells, then braces her body firmly and goes in for a kiss (exactly how you see it in the movie screens). 

 

she is still shaken up from my viewpoint and still does not get in the car. he ends up grabbing her left arm and drags her to the open passenger door. she is 1/4 squatting trying not get in and he ends up just pushing her in and slams the door. they drive off

 

* * *

 

i got off work today around 7 and down in our lobby there is a bench. there, the same girl from 2 mornings ago sat looking at her forearm and hand. she was admiring her right hand with a ring/hand accessory. i have seen her from afar once or twice since my desk is right near the window in our office. she is quite a stunner.  I should have said something to spark up a conversation as I left. but instead i tried to smile her way, until i turned toward the door in which from my peripheral i see her head finally tilt up. I think she saw the side of my smile.. 

 

I was hitting myself the way home like I should have done something stupid, be nosy, or whatever etc. My life is such a straight road I sort of wish and wonder what can really happen if I just deviate a little out of my comfort zone. it's not like I am a bad looking guy. 

 

I thought I'd redeem myself and grab some stuff after work. I ended up looking like a red-face baboon while i exited costco  

 

FML 

 

[Dropt]

Don't hate on baboons, they're dope.

[haploid]

gettoasty your ability to pull self-depreciating feelings out of thin air is bar none.

 

you seem to have a pretty strong phobia of social embarrassment/humiliation; i think you should usurp control of your emotional life by deliberately shitting your pants in public and confronting your fears head on.

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

this isn't superfuture this is selfesteemfuture or something