Superawkward

[boy better know]

took a nap and left facebook on my computer open today

my mom got on it and liked a bunch of pictures of this girl i've been trying to fuck and even tagged my coworker on one of them

woke up to a wall post from the girl and a bunch of messages

not sure if she believed 100% my story (which is the truth)

what's worse is that i had plans to see that girl tonight

Edited June 8, 2012 by boy better know

[zenii]

did your mom know you were trying to hit that? if so, lolz major cockblock

[DaBestSpoona]

took a nap and left facebook on my computer open today

my mom got on it and liked a bunch of pictures of this girl i've been trying to fuck and even tagged my coworker on one of them

woke up to a wall post from the girl and a bunch of messages

not sure if she believed 100% my story (which is the truth)

what's worse is that i had plans to see that girl tonight

one time my wife was using my computer and she was shopping on Anthropologie and she liked a whole bunch of women's shoes and it showed up on my fb feed and I got a whole bunch of WTF messages the next day

[timber]

My stepdad is this weird combination of passive aggressiveness/50's wholesome attitude who looks like the love child of Kramer and Daniel Day Lewis -- and he really, really dislikes me. Every time I come home to visit, I get to enjoy a series of awkward sequences.

Tonight I arrived, and he was making this elaborate dinner for the family, set the table and everything, and then dished everything out on plates and started serving everyone. I walked into the room and saw that he had set a place for everyone but me. When I noticed, he looked up and sort of smiled and said, 'Sorry, guess we ran out of food.' And then sat down, and started to hum this really happy tune and took a big bite of his dinner.

Last time, my eleven year old brother begged me to help him film a war movie to show his friends, so I agreed and he suited up in army gear and right before we left, my stepdad knelt down and gave him this long speech on how he was going to alienate himself from his friends and ruin his social life if he continued to hang out with me. And I was standing at the door, a few feet away the entire time.

I have so many uncomfortable stories.

Edited June 9, 2012 by timber

[kawsneffect]

that awkward moment when you are standing alone at a meet up fidgeting with your phone.

[mr fluffernutter]

he's a douche

[zenii]

was riding the bus today and as usual it was crowded as fuck. so i'm standing there holding onto the handrail and when we come to a stop everyone has to shuffle around a bit to let whoever get off. so after people get off i let go of the handrail to sit in one of the now empty seats and right as i let my hand go and turn around i lightly backhand this girl across the face. her boyfriend is right behind her and I say something like "oh whoops sorry" and proceed to sit down and plug in my headphones and look out the window for the rest of the bus ride.

[trevorplease]

My stepdad is this weird combination of passive aggressiveness/50's wholesome attitude who looks like the love child of Kramer and Daniel Day Lewis -- and he really, really dislikes me. Every time I come home to visit, I get to enjoy a series of awkward sequences.

Tonight I arrived, and he was making this elaborate dinner for the family, set the table and everything, and then dished everything out on plates and started serving everyone. I walked into the room and saw that he had set a place for everyone but me. When I noticed, he looked up and sort of smiled and said, 'Sorry, guess we ran out of food.' And then sat down, and started to hum this really happy tune and took a big bite of his dinner.

Last time, my eleven year old brother begged me to help him film a war movie to show his friends, so I agreed and he suited up in army gear and right before we left, my stepdad knelt down and gave him this long speech on how he was going to alienate himself from his friends and ruin his social life if he continued to hang out with me. And I was standing at the door, a few feet away the entire time.

I have so many uncomfortable stories.

dude needs to get clocked. wtf did everyone else at the dinner table do anyway

[timber]

dude needs to get clocked. wtf did everyone else at the dinner table do anyway

No one else was in the dining room yet, he was just dishing stuff out. It was pretty informal anyway, so I sort of slimed away, never to return.

He's a jerk, but in a very non-alarming way. I don't really get riled up and I usually just smile and back slowly out of the room...

[DaBestSpoona]

Does he do this stuff in front of your mom and relatives?

I would probably goto war with him if I was you. I would not do anything but whenever he does something make him look like a asshole. Like wait for everyone to get to the dinner table, let them wait a little bit for you, and come by the table with a coat on and say bye, say something like "yeah step dad said he wasnt going to prepare any food for me so I'm going to grab take out"

[somethingauthentic]

My stepdad is this weird combination of passive aggressiveness/50's wholesome attitude who looks like the love child of Kramer and Daniel Day Lewis -- and he really, really dislikes me. Every time I come home to visit, I get to enjoy a series of awkward sequences.

Tonight I arrived, and he was making this elaborate dinner for the family, set the table and everything, and then dished everything out on plates and started serving everyone. I walked into the room and saw that he had set a place for everyone but me. When I noticed, he looked up and sort of smiled and said, 'Sorry, guess we ran out of food.' And then sat down, and started to hum this really happy tune and took a big bite of his dinner.

Last time, my eleven year old brother begged me to help him film a war movie to show his friends, so I agreed and he suited up in army gear and right before we left, my stepdad knelt down and gave him this long speech on how he was going to alienate himself from his friends and ruin his social life if he continued to hang out with me. And I was standing at the door, a few feet away the entire time.

I have so many uncomfortable stories.

----

jesus, he sounds like a borderline sociopath.

[okonomi]

I would probably goto war with him if I was you. I would not do anything but whenever he does something make him look like a asshole

That's a crazy war man!

[Layne]

[dovo]

My stepdad is this weird combination of passive aggressiveness/50's wholesome attitude who looks like the love child of Kramer and Daniel Day Lewis -- and he really, really dislikes me. Every time I come home to visit, I get to enjoy a series of awkward sequences.

Tonight I arrived, and he was making this elaborate dinner for the family, set the table and everything, and then dished everything out on plates and started serving everyone. I walked into the room and saw that he had set a place for everyone but me. When I noticed, he looked up and sort of smiled and said, 'Sorry, guess we ran out of food.' And then sat down, and started to hum this really happy tune and took a big bite of his dinner.

Last time, my eleven year old brother begged me to help him film a war movie to show his friends, so I agreed and he suited up in army gear and right before we left, my stepdad knelt down and gave him this long speech on how he was going to alienate himself from his friends and ruin his social life if he continued to hang out with me. And I was standing at the door, a few feet away the entire time.

I have so many uncomfortable stories.

don't let that dude weed you out of your own family man.

[percy]

that sucks timber, but you are doing the right thing by not getting emotional with him, as that is probably what he wants more than anything.

[OCEANSECT]

id fuck his shit up dude

can you take him in a fight? coz thats what he needs

[burgerking]

we could all meet him outside uniqlo?

[OCEANSECT]

just saying if some prick was screwing my mom... like dovo said, don't let him weed you out of your own fam.

[NatseOklim]

My stepdad is this weird combination of passive aggressiveness/50's wholesome attitude who looks like the love child of Kramer and Daniel Day Lewis -- and he really, really dislikes me. Every time I come home to visit, I get to enjoy a series of awkward sequences.

Tonight I arrived, and he was making this elaborate dinner for the family, set the table and everything, and then dished everything out on plates and started serving everyone. I walked into the room and saw that he had set a place for everyone but me. When I noticed, he looked up and sort of smiled and said, 'Sorry, guess we ran out of food.' And then sat down, and started to hum this really happy tune and took a big bite of his dinner.

Last time, my eleven year old brother begged me to help him film a war movie to show his friends, so I agreed and he suited up in army gear and right before we left, my stepdad knelt down and gave him this long speech on how he was going to alienate himself from his friends and ruin his social life if he continued to hang out with me. And I was standing at the door, a few feet away the entire time.

I have so many uncomfortable stories.

[dovo]

opened my door and stepped out onto my porch to find two older ladies who had taken a break from walking their dogs to make out infront of my house. i had no idea they were out there so when i stepped out i just froze while they were getting heavy. one of them looks up and notices me and I'm just chillin there fuckin frozen (it wasn't because they were lesbians or anything, i just wasn't expecting to see people making out in front of my house) the other one didn't notice me so she was still gettin the tongue in while the one who saw me is staring at me with one eye open. i just eased the fuck back into the house never losing eye contact til i closed the door.

Edited June 12, 2012 by dovo

[jbanger]

^ pics next time dovo

[OkayOkay]

officially went on the most awkward, weirdest date of my life.

-Only seen this girl twice, but apparently she's seen me way more. I don't even wanna think about what that means.

-She got dropped off apparently, expected to stay over. Lives 45min away. Had to give her a ride home (after firmly telling her that she couldn't stay)

-Told me she was telepathic, that she could read my mind and feel what I was feeling. Told the people sitting around us at the bar to be quiet so she could "absorb me without distraction"

-Ranted about how she isn't pretty (she's honestly decent enough) but "doesn't care", and how getting compliments on her intelligence was all she cared about anyways...then looks at me and asks if I thought she was pretty O_O

-Demanded to let her build shit at my work, like walls and lay flooring, etc. (building new shop out right now) Offered to buy me and the contractor drugs so we could work faster.

-Said she could see us together for the rest of our lives (1st date, previous meeting was honestly pretty normal)

-Asked to see my phone on the ride home so she could pick a song to listen to, noticed she was looking through my texts. Said wtf and she replied "just wanted to see who else you're talking to, no big deal"

-Asked where I lived, like exact address cause she wanted to "drop by occasionally and surprise me"

-11 texts, FB add, Instagram followed between the time I dropped her off and getting home. One of the texts was that she was "deeply concerned about me", I don't know what the fuck that means.

smh.

[jbanger]

fuck me, between you and hahapete, where do you guys meet chicks like that? smh, glad i'm married and (must) lead a sheltered life

[philosophiliac]

where Do you live, okayx2? you're looking super young and purty in your recent waywts. I could totally see us together.

(forever)

[Denton]

could hahapete's ex and okayokay's date be the same person

[OkayOkay]

I'm in Sac. Pete, I think I read you're in SF? If so, I'mma send this one to you.

Maybe best part I forgot to include was on the drive home she turns on Snoop's Ain't No Fun, and as we pull up to a stoplight with the windows down she's singing along and more or less screams out the part "THESE MOTHERFUCKING NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH" hella loud. Cars next to us, people outside, and I've got this crazy girl bellowing about being teabagged. She looks over at me and is like "you're so ready to get rid of me aren't you?"

[wahwho11]

does she wear a bindi?

[funkdoobi]

could hahapete's ex and okayokay's date be the same person

that's on some philosorapter shit right there...

[AstroWolf]

You should have fucked chickie at her house and made the drive worth it... not for nothing, it sounds like she was already high when you met up with her and she wanted to cop more for herself and include you in it...

[BearCousin]

she's singing along and more or less screams out the part "THESE MOTHERFUCKING NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH" hella loud.

dude she's a fuckin keeper