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Random Thoughts...


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I just broke up with the love of my life for the second time...we both knew we had to grow up and get on with our lives, especially me...It was the right thing for both of us to do, especially at this time in our lives (ironically, we were on the verge of me re-locating and moving in with her in Chicago) but I never had the balls to actually break up. It feels like my heart has been ripped out and I'm so lost without her right now but it's time for me to man up and live on my own, find out who I really am and grow into a person that she would be able to love and respect without either of us compromising our own identity for one another. Real love is letting another person grow when they need to, even if it means being apart...I can no longer be selfish...We love each other too much and we knew we had to part ways...

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gah, that feeling is terrible man. it sounds like you both know what you're doing though, and its more and more rare that people are that level-headed about things. if it's for the best, things will have a habit of working themselves out right in the end.

keep the chin up, and just find something to focus your mind on. keeping it on this will just slow you down at this point.

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fuck....despite everything I wrote and keep telling myself, I have no idea why we broke up....A part of me wonders why can't we just move in together and grow that way/see how things develop? At the same time I know that such a compromise would at some level not be true to myself, and not fair to her either if I was lying to both of us. How can I offer her anything of substance in a relationship if I'm empty inside...But fuck, a part of me just wants to make that 4 hour drive right now and get back together...The question is, which route is truly me just running away from responsibility as always? This is what I mean when I say I have to grow up...

Anyways, I just need time to think about everything but I really do appreciate the support everyone...I owe you all a round of beer...

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if you know breaking up is the way to go, do it, and don't think about the decision. stewing over it will only lead to you going back and forth between which way is best. best advice i can give is to go hang out with friends and don't think about it, and more than anything don't talk to her for at least a few weeks 'til things cool down. talking to her will just bring up all those old emotions again. shit i'm writing a novel, either way, good luck man, shit isn't easy.

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I typed up a huge response only for my internet browser to bug out. All I can say is keep your chin up, and try to look at things in a new light. Yes, things will be different without her, but different doesn't mean bad.

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I'm seriously considering sending that guy an email asking him to make me one. Shipping would probably be a bitch though.

But think about it... Once I start playing gigs again... A giant fucking head, glowing under the lights. Maybe I should get a giant pair of headphones to go overtop too.

shipping wouldn't be a problem at all, if he did it forr you he could just send you the stuff in data form so you can print it out yourself. if you check some of the guys he linked in his blog you'll see that there is a guy who makes lifesize Link statues that you can cut out and glue together yourself

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