superconfessional

[Larry!]

wait are you the virgin from a page ago

Yeah.

So it's been snowing here in Massachusetts. I went drifting in my school's parking lot after track, and I crashed into a curb. Twice. I dented a rim, and told my dad that it was black ice, and I kinda feel really bad.

[Ichigo100%]

amusing..(8.5)

but thanks for the help guys..

[Egpt]

(0)

10chars

[Lab]

On my way to the uni library, I stepped on a homeless person. I turned around to say sorry and give some change, but...turns out...I stepped on a fat chick who was just looking for her keys. The worst part is...a couple quarters slipped from my hand and landed on her latte, spilling starbucks juice all over her notebook.

She was nice about it, but I think she threatened to neuter me while I was walking away...

[Guest DUM]

I like your stories, continue.

[notesee]

Lab ... hahaha, one of the funniest stories I've heard in a while.

This girl that I was seeing last summer is doing study abroad in Ireland next semester. We barely talk anymore and she's back with her ex, but she invited me to her 'going away party'.

Annoying girl, I hate her stopping to talk to me when I see her. Definitely not attending. I'm so glad she is going to be gone for my last semester at this school.

[enatoka]

lab, you should of kicked her and told her to GTFO! out of your way

i keed i keed, funny story though.

[fadingblue]

Theres this dude i know (he doesnt go to my school) and he is really good at soccer and he gets a lotttt of pussy and the other day i was hanging out with some friends and two of them were talking about how great he was and one of them even said he was "so perfect" and that "[he] wished [he] was him" and all i could think of was "wow you guys are pathetic"

and its not like they were creepy nerdy guys who never go out, they were normal kids who are actually pretty chill, i didnt even know what to say

but a better story:

A dude at my friends work took an almost 2 hour lunch break, when he came back his boss asked him why he took so long, to which he answered with "what the hell was i supposed to do, call in and say 'sorry i tripped and my dick fell into my girlfriends mouth so i was busy for a while' " and he ended up getting fired

fucking classic tho

[homi29]

i take shits on company time and read newspaper in stall

[dismalfuture]

you live dangerously, homi29.

[Guest DUM]

you live dangerously, homi29.

no, you live dangerously, dismalfuture.

[Gouf]

im in a huge slump, pussygettin wise. Ever since i ditched lightskinned with freckles things haven't really been picking up lately. Commuting to school isn't helping either.

Starting to think my taste in girls has been a rather superficial one and since now I refuse to dress like a douchebag I've got to scrutinize who I even bother laying game on.

This is the longest i've ever gone without getting some cunt or head or something. I could atleast use a little head before I settle down with a "good" girl.

[ExileOnMainSt]

then just get a hooker for fucks sake

[Ichigo100%]

Gouf,

You need to hit the clubs homie.. Pump up your social status.. Once you gather enough social proof, women will flock to you..True story.. You aint gettin pussy cuz you keep thinkin about it..

Just dont give a fuk

[ghostdeini]

You're Putting The Pussy On A Pedestal

[keagan]

whoa. players here.

I CAN FEEEL THE HEAT THROUGH THE INTERNET.

Once you gather enough social proof, women will flock to you

where'd you hear that!? GENIUS

[alex_844]

i feel like ichigo100% is probably on some next level celibate tip at the moment though, so at least you won't have competition from him.

[Gouf]

I appreciate the insight, i really do, but i'm shooting for a certain kind of girl right now. You know, the kind you don't have to lie to. The kind you don't have to have an angle with and dont have to play games with. I've been dealing with girls that are either into the clothes I wear, the bullshit i say, or just the way I look.

I'm tired of girls that are in love with my image, but they really dont know a damn thing about the real me. So thats whats taking this process longer than usual.

Yea sure, i might break down and hit up a club or pick up a couple easy ones in class next semester, but those are always shallow relationships at that.

So its not that I cant get a girl to slob my knob, its just that i'm trying to get something more than that at the moment. We'll see how long I hold out

fuck hookers. i'm not trying to wake up with a little something extra in my pants the next morning.

[keagan]

plzzzzzz post image that girls are in love with.

[Guest DUM]

after my root canal today the dentist said I could have something from the treasure chest. bitch lied I didn't get a thing. this is why I hate dentists.

[sidneylo]

Gouf,

You need to hit the clubs homie.. Pump up your social status.. Once you gather enough social proof, women will flock to you..True story.. You aint gettin pussy cuz you keep thinkin about it..

Just dont give a fuk

Obviously you care enough to wear a fedora and eyeliner...and abide by formulaic strategies to bed women...

amirightmystery?

[dismalfuture]

Ever since i ditched lightskinned with freckles things haven't really been picking up lately.

I had no idea you and DUM had something going.

In all seriousness though mate, if you're out there trying to get 'select pussy' like it's some sort of graded meat that you cherish and savor, at least put some effort into it. Force yourself into group situations, schmooze SA's when you go shopping and try to get invited places and then schmooze people at those places to get invited to more, get caught in public reading a good book or at a good show, if you're in college you're in the right starting point. The pot of gold isn't going to mystically appear at your feet, but you might be pretty close to it and not even realize it, so give life a few nudges if it feels right.

[sidneylo]

^^ take advice from that guy. he was homeless and stayed flossssssssin.

at least that's what the internet told me. seoul-ja boy tell 'em.

[will_i_am]

hhahaha mystery.

omg i saw the cutest kid the otoher day.

he gave me the finger!

[dismalfuture]

floss angeles flossin'?

[Guest DUM]

dismalfuture is without a doubt my favorite homeless person. but he's like #18 favorite asian person.

[sidneylo]

the only thing i remember from your confessionals are key phrases man... key phrases... girlfriend, love hotel, stayed in every room, squirt, dior, homeless, love hotel, squirt, breakfast, squirt, breakfast.

[dismalfuture]

hhahaha mystery.

omg i saw the cutest kid the otoher day.

he gave me the finger!

when I taught kindergarten I had this girl in my class I referred to as my '5 year old girlfriend (no pedo)'... she would come and sit on my lap at my teacher's desk like 5 minutes before class started and we'd kinda commiserate over life's problems, and I'd rock her as she stroked my facial hair... cutest child ever...

[sidneylo]

and I'd rock her as she stroked my facial hair... cutest child ever...

and I'd rock her as she stroked my facial hair... cutest child ever...

and I'd rock her as she stroked my facial hair... cutest child ever...

and I'd rock her as she stroked my facial hair... cutest child ever...

and I'd rock her as she stroked my facial hair... cutest child ever...

and I'd rock her as she stroked my facial hair... cutest child ever...

besthomelesspedoever

[Thorns]

I have so much work to do over the next week... I've been debating asking for a SuFu ban so I won't be tempted to put it off.