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denimdestroyedmylife

By denimdestroyedmylife
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haptronic
haptronic

i am currently doing a pre admission program, for a residential drug and alcohol treatment centre. a week and a half ago i sat down with a councilor and did my usage history, up until that moment i ha

tac0tron
tac0tron

Today my dog had to be euthanized; she had a brain tumor, along with deafness and terrible sight. She was a loyal pet, you could tell even with her non-affectionate nature. I'll miss her aloofness,  w

broneck
broneck

interesting, this board is made of human beings. interestingly, they've been bitching about new shit, women, and drugs for like literally 5000 years why would shit change on the internet in 2 you abs

jewbagel

jewbagel

Posted
Posted

The other day I run into a friend I haven't seen all summer. Shes with her boyfriend and I stop and say hello and chat. Today I run into another friend. It turns out I had interrupted my friend in the middle of breaking up with her boyfriend. Thats awkward.

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bernt

bernt

Posted
Posted

I'm so filled with hate right now for no reason, really.

I want to get rid of all the shit I have no dire need for and design this shithole extremely minimalist. This feeling comes around like once a month, and it annoys me because it's not really possible.

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jayrock

jayrock

Posted
Posted

FUCK YES!!!

I've been so pissed off and depressed lately, but tonight some older chick was practically begging me for my number. To be honest, she didn't have a phone, but she really really wants me to call her on the 2nd of next month. I'll probably do it because this bitch looks like she be twenty something but she actually be in her thirties, and she wouldn't shut up about how "cute I am." I'm so excited to knock that cougar ass... you don't even know

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GiZMO

GiZMO

Posted
Posted

I have been with my girlfriend for nearly two years. We'll call her Ashley. She is a sheltered introvert, she's soft and shy and suffers from depression. We met in freshman year of high school and didn't become friends until the next year. I went off to a different school for my junior year to chase another girl and came back. She's hinted on her myspace and blogs that she liked someone and I found out it was me, she had a crush on me since sophomore year that disappeared while I was gone and came back when I returned. From then on we were officially a couple and things went great. Ashley is my first real girlfriend. I think I've done mostly everything right as a boyfriend. I'd shower her with gifts, celebrated our anniversary, went to Disneyland, kiss her and hug her all the time, etc. And for the longest time I do believe I love her.

Recently things have not been going so well. Her family goes on a trip to Mexico for a few weeks every year and she just came back last week. We spent some time together as soon as we could and it was as if those few weeks didn't happen and she didn't even miss me. I confront her about this and she tells me that she was going to tell me something important the next day.

The next day we go out on a date, eat at some restaurant and walk around the place until we sit down. She would have said what she was going to say at the restaurant but didn't want to ruin the mood.

But now that we were settled she started explaining to me that since junior year of high school she had been diagnosed with depression and a doctor put her on medication. She had been taking adderall all this time. While on that medication she was also on the cross country team at school which caused her to lose weight pretty quickly. Her mother took notice of that and asked her if she's anorexic but she was losing weight because of the meds and exercise. She continued taking the meds into senior year until she complained about chest pains around the heart which I guess is a side effect of the rapid beat skipping heart rate the meds provide.

Ashley then explains to me that while she was in Mexico her mother brought her to a doctor there and diagnosed her with depression for a second time. Immediately taking her off of adderall and prescribing prozac.

In tears, she apologized to me if she's seemed cold because of the medicine and her depression she's having a hard time being affectionate.

Tonight through texts she told me that she just wants to be alone. She believes her problems have to be dealt with by herself and she should suffer alone.

She wants a break in order to keep me from falling in the sadness that she's experiencing. Before saying good night she tells me the link to one of her journals.

She feels as if she has control with starving herself. It would not be offbase by saying she has had an image problem but nothing extreme. She used to be overweight and with the meds/xcountry she lost it and she is trying her best to stay that way.

She writes about starvation and how she's had a habit of using it as a fast attention getter but wasn't struggling with it. It's true in saying that though. Her parents seem to have less time these days but this grabs their attention pretty quickly. They're busy with work and managing different properties which she acknowledges but it would not hurt for them to acknowledge her existence.

When she saw the doctor in Mexico he had told her that her placement in her family is what causes her feelings of being ignored. I pretty much guessed this prior to her telling me it because she has mentioned before of feeling like the black sheep.

Her older brother has his own life, does what he does but he's really a nice guy as I have been friends with him throughout high school. She tells me otherwise.

And her younger sister is an extrovert, gathering attention and getting things done her way. I'm not sure how to reword this myself but she wrote "sometimes my sister emasculates me in a sense by assuming dominance over me." Ashley is not very assertive and this happens often, getting picked on by her older and younger siblings. She believes her family believes her younger sister is the more competent one.

Another problem I read was that she's so concerned with her friends. Her perspective is that its painful to see her friends growing while she is failing to grow. I do not see what growth she speaks of. Her friends have a part time job and they work. So does she. There is not a big difference.

She's also expressed an unusual interest in Billy Joel which I had no fucking clue about. Quoting "I'd rather laugh with the sinners and cry with the saints."

Something about how he has the ability to get whatever he wants, yet when he was a child he lacked confidence to stand up, was unsure about his art, an unsure adolescence instead of his cold, bold self.

I've never seen her so unstable before. I want to be with her throughout this whole ordeal. I feel helpless in that I can't do anything to help her. What can I say that won't offend her but shows her the bigger picture that her friends are no different, that she has to learn to be assertive, to stand up and stop sulking. I do not want a break, I'm already feeling pain. Empathizing and sympathizing with her situation, I cannot leave her side.

I love her and I'll be with her through thick and thin but besides being supportive how else can I help? Should I try to have her a change of perspective? Am I the right person to be doing it? How can I do this carefully?

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marie

marie

Posted
Posted

GiZMO

With depression being an imbalance of brain chemicals, you can't put this healing job in your own hands, that's way too much pressure on yourself, the exact pressure that she's trying to keep you from.

I can see where she's coming from, pulling away to "save you" from falling into sadness, so I think it's great that you're not giving up and wanting to help her as much as you do. Like Cotton Duck said, keep her busy. Start a journal with her. Both of you write things about the day or week or anything you're thinking so she has something to read while you're not together. Talk to her on a daily basis, do things often, new things. Her being an introvert I'd say just do things together until things start looking up and then maybe hang out at a more public place. But go running, go for hikes, walks, canoe rides, anything like that since she seems to be active.

You're already doing a great thing with staying by her side.

Best of luck to you both!

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jeepster

jeepster

Posted
Posted

I've met a bunch of people already, but I'm still hesitant to call them and invite them to hang. I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER BUT PEANUT M&M's AND SMALL TALK.

also, TN accents on cute girls isn't doing it for me.

EDIT: THE PEANUT M&M's BELONG TO MY ROOMMATE. I CHIEF ON THEM CONSTANTLY WHEN HE IS NOT IN THE ROOM.

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jeepster

jeepster

Posted
Posted
jeepster stop being a pussy and hang out with some people thats what you do in college

I'm not

I just have so much fucking down time and everyone is at some orientation thing since mine got cancelled.

jeepster are you sure "chief on" is a legit verb phrase

yeah

haven't you ever chiefed on like a blunt, food, snacks, etc?

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bouwnt

bouwnt

Posted
Posted

this young autistic boy i hang out with from time to time, occasionally gets phrases he's read or heard stuck in his head, and that's all he'll say for like... hours. yesterday he told me "nunchucks are a thing of the past." kickin science at me.

today i'm honouring his wisdom by driving out of town to the ninja outlet supply, buying an expandable riot baton and then beating someone's shit up with it.

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cjbreed

cjbreed

Posted
Posted
......

I've never seen her so unstable before. I want to be with her throughout this whole ordeal. I feel helpless in that I can't do anything to help her. What can I say that won't offend her but shows her the bigger picture that her friends are no different, that she has to learn to be assertive, to stand up and stop sulking. I do not want a break, I'm already feeling pain. Empathizing and sympathizing with her situation, I cannot leave her side.

I love her and I'll be with her through thick and thin but besides being supportive how else can I help? Should I try to have her a change of perspective? Am I the right person to be doing it? How can I do this carefully?

Hey man, i'm no expert either but i will say that although you are not entirely helpless in this matter, you are powerless over her problem(s). Do not try to solve things for her, because you will inevitably fail and make things worse for both of you by creating resentments and additional tension. All you can do is be there for her and be a good listener and a good friend. Tell her everyone has there burden to bear and demons to battle, and you are there to share hers because you love her no matter what.

But I'll tell you, if she truly has an eating disorder, then nothing will get better until that is addressed and she enters recovery. Eating disorders are like any other addiction (and worse in some ways). As long as she is acting out in that disease, then she is no longer behind the wheel of her own life. The disease is in control. She will definitely require professional attention (including talk therapy, group therapy, etc...) to beat it. That is also where your support is vital.

Good luck man...for you and for her....

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Thorns

Thorns

Posted
Posted
I have a confession that will make me a SF leper, not that I cut a major figure here.

I was in a fraternity in college.

It's kind of weird because it was the antithesis of everything I thought I stood for. But I thought I needed to learn how to deal with those kind of guys because they run the world.

I hated every single minute of it, but I still did it. And for that I am not proud.

I was in a fraternity when I was in college. It was fun as hell. I had easy access to booze and girls. As long as you weren't a douchebag who cares? Man up and get over it.

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Risotto

Risotto

Posted
Posted
I've met a bunch of people already, but I'm still hesitant to call them and invite them to hang. I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER BUT PEANUT M&M's AND SMALL TALK.

also, TN accents on cute girls isn't doing it for me.

EDIT: THE PEANUT M&M's BELONG TO MY ROOMMATE. I CHIEF ON THEM CONSTANTLY WHEN HE IS NOT IN THE ROOM.

Are you in Tennessee?

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