dear/ask jmatsu (advice column)

[Guest jmatsu]

Dear jmatsu,

Can you buy shrooms as easily in Japan as you used to, say like 8 years ago? I used to see cats selling that shit out in the open but the past few years I didn't notice them that much. Where do I need to go in Tokyo if I wanna score the easy drugs next time I go?

dis,

recently shrooms are more of a hobby for jap granola heads and certain club kids than actual biz. when you say out in the open i assume you mean all those "natural high" or "natural drug" peddlers,stands, and on occasion hippy yattai(s). you can still find them in various clubs and independent cafes in koenji (the poorman's drug stop/locknloll). if you don't wanna head out that way just ask the techo/trance hippies in the clubs. when are you going? if you really really need some i may be able to help you out (shokai only).

[Guest jmatsu]

Dear Jmatsu,

Do you think snuff is real?

snuff films i presume. i don't know if people actually produce them now or if you get them by means of ultra underground ciruclations, but they are (were) def real.

[sedx.]

dear jmatsu,

who is this douche bag?

hint: he is a sufu regular

sincerely,

sedx.

[transactionfee]

j i need your advice on where i went wrong. I introduced myself to a japaneese girl at a restaurant that was seated the table next to mine and asked her if she wanted to play koncho(sp). She turned away from me after that and didn't make eye contact. I was slightly amused. Was it a failure to grasp the culture and/or was it adolecent?

Dunno but a bud of mine that wants to teach in japan told me about that shit. I don't really know what its about aside from what he said.

danke

[Pandemonium]

try again, 70% of girls would love to play kancho with gaijinz.

[jetlenoir]

Why does Sarah Silverman have a job?

[Charlie Delta]

[Blicero]

jmatsu-san,

In one post you disparaged Beck.

May I enquire as to why?

I realize he's mainstream and a Scientologist, but Mellow Gold and Odelay are pretty much masterpieces. Sea Change is a great album and the newest albums have their moments. I confess I don't like his funk attempts.

The guy is one of the best lyricists I've heard.

Nightmare Hippie Girl

She took me off my guard with disappointment

I got sucked inside of her apartment

She's got dried-up flowers, flaky skin

A beaded necklace and a bottle of gin

She's a nightmare Hippy girl

With her skinny fingers fondling' my world

She's a whimsical, tragical beauty

Self-conscious and a little bit moody

It's a new age letdown in my face

She's so spaced out and there ain't no space

She's got marijuana on the bathroom tile

I'm caught in a vortex

She's changing' my style

She's a nightmare Hippy girl

With her skinny fingers fondling' my world

She's a whimsical, tragical beauty

Uptight and a little bit snooty

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

She's a magical, sparkling' tease

She's a rainbow choking' the breeze

Yo, she's busting' out onto the scene

With nightmare bogus poetry

She's a melted avocado on the shelf

She's the science of herself

She's spazzing out on a cosmic level

And she's meditating with the devil

She's cooking salad for breakfast

She's got tofu the size of Texas

She's a witness to her own glory

She's a never-ending story

She's a frolicking depression

She's a self-inflicted obsession

She's got a thousand lonely husbands

She's playing' footsie in another dimension

She's a goddess milking her time

For all that it's worth

Respecfully,

Perplexed in New York (PINY)

[thewindsong]

dear jmatsu,

what's the best way to approach chicks while patrolling the mall and club?

TIA.

[Fabulaz]

dear jmatsu,

what's the best way to approach chicks while patrolling the mall and club?

TIA.

You're still around?

[ken shinoda]

dear jmatty,

why is black cockz in such a high demand in jp landz nowadayz? if the current trend expandz, will there be room for white cockz, yellow cockz, brown cockz or gray cockz eventually?

Sincerely,

worriedz.

[monook]

stop talking like that, idiot.

[pavlova cakesworth]

dear jmatsu,

what's the best way to approach chicks while patrolling the mall and club?

TIA.

are you a security guard?

[ken shinoda]

are you a security guard?

sounds like a cop to me... shitzz

[stroke5]

10chars.......

[inaya]

dear jmats,

I want to buy these s/s yohji shoes which I love, and which are also currently 50% off. but I won't get paid by my main job for at least another week. I buy other shoes from this place and have a good reputation with them... do you think the manager would consider holding them in my size for me for a week or something? or do you think she would say no and sell them to a random?

nervous in atlanta,

inaya

[Guest jmatsu]

dear jmats,

I want to buy these s/s yohji shoes which I love, and which are also currently 50% off. but I won't get paid by my main job for at least another week. I buy other shoes from this place and have a good reputation with them... do you think the manager would consider holding them in my size for me for a week or something? or do you think she would say no and sell them to a random?

nervous in atlanta,

inaya

if you have a good rep with them and know the manager i don't see a prob.

maybe you could put them on layaway...put down a small deposit if you can afford it.

how much you need?

[Guest jmatsu]

what do you say to a girl to convince her that she's better looking than your last girl, if you've already given her a complex that she's not?

tell me how you caused her complex.

[inaya]

if you have a good rep with them and know the manager i don't see a prob.

maybe you could put them on layaway...put down a small deposit if you can afford it.

how much you need?

oh yes I could do that, you're right. I didn't think of offering a deposit. I could pay maybe 1/3 of the cost now. will make her an offer. thanks

jmats saves lives.

[Guest jmatsu]

dear jmatty,

why is black cockz in such a high demand in jp landz nowadayz? if the current trend expandz, will there be room for white cockz, yellow cockz, brown cockz or gray cockz eventually?

Sincerely,

worriedz.

why you gotta fret over this? i usually dont even pay attention to bitches in japland who are just exclusively into black dick. there has always been bitches into nigga-niggas, but its not like it stopped the flow of pussy to non nigga-nigga niggas.

[stroke5]

10chars.....

[Guest jmatsu]

by talking about the ex in extremely favorable terms when things weren't yet serious between us. i told some the boys back home that she was just "regular" looking but a dope personality (even though she's a dime) and it got back to her.

basically putting the ex on a pedestal and going so far as to put out negative or diminishing comments about her before we took things to the next level and not really doing anything to affirm her attractiveness or counteract/negate all the shit i put out before.

just lie. tell her she is the greatest looking bitch you've ever seen/been with. tell her that you thought your ex was dope, but you said that with an immature mind. that you grew up and come to realize that your current bitch is a goddess. that your tastes have changed and that in retrospect your ex wasnt even that great.... i dunno. just buy her a bag and tell her to stop being so shook.

[tac0tron]

Resolved, sorry for the waste of post.