superconfessional

[keagan]

Eat them. ((((((((((((((((

[soraanaam]

Two mormons rang my doorbell. They explained to me their pampthlet. At first I had forgotten that they were mormons until I read the M word in their booklet. They asked if they can give me the book I said yes. Then asked if they can come back to answer questions. I also said yes. They asked me for my phone number and I gave them a fake one. I feel terrible for wasting their time. They will be back Friday around 5. What do I do?

hello my fellow mormons................do come in

just tell them youre buddhist and fuk their material possesions

[GiZMO]

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:dB27soTWvxr3YM:http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c138/Varcolaci/exorcist.jpg

hello my fellow mormons................do come in

just tell them youre buddhist and fuk their material possesions

Honestly I was thinking of doing that. I will put out a Buddha statue on Friday.

I just feel terrible that they have to bicycle their way to my abode in this scorching heat to find out they can't do shit for me. I just hope they don't keep coming to my house.

[Tyro1]

Give them some milk or juice and sit down and chat with them... Learn to appreciate their point of view, then take on their religion as your own? If you didnt want to do this you should have never taken the pamphlet... Sorry dude, your a morman now...

[onemancult]

sometimes, i go to the manhattan mall just to eat at the food court and ogle the shit out of attractive mall goth girls, ghetto fab divas, sexy 17 year old tourists, bridge-and-tunnel sluts, and emo/scene chicks.

new yorkers will hopefully understand why visiting the manhattan mall is the kind of thing that requires a confession.

[Crillz]

i should neg rep you just for saying that name.

[onemancult]

sometimes a man just needs some fucking bourbon chicken and soft titties bursting out of poorly-coordinated outfits.

[Crillz]

sometimes a man never wants to be in midtown ever in his life.

[onemancult]

i can deal with 34th street, because of its proximity to where grimy africans sell knockoffs and unbranded goods to unsuspecting tourists. reminds me, i saw some very nice grey leather desert boots for thirty dollars in a shop window next to a Nokia cellphone box while walking up 6th ave.

40th-60th between 7th and 3rd is my is my no-go zone.

[Crillz]

hahaha... right near my school. good think i'm farther east so i don't have to deal with bullshit tourist idiots. my biggest no-go zone is canal and broadway, even though i'm there all the time

[fg0d]

Crillz, I want to be just like you...

[Crillz]

1. take antidepressants

2. alienate all your close friends

3. smoke a lot of pot -- while on antidepressants

4. have a nervous breakdown

5. get better, more or less

6. watch a lot of cheesy action movies

7. watch old cartoons (spider man, x-men, batman) online

8. develop an addiction to cigarettes

viola!

[keagan]

Crillz, you listen to Charles Bronson?

[Crillz]

actually no, i do not. but that reminds me; i have another "step" to add:

?. ONLY listen to el-p, aesop rock, yo la tengo, cannibal ox, RJD2, balzac, G.I.S.M., the arcade fire, king kahn and the BBQ show, "rehab," justice, yann tiersen, and animal collective

(and feel badly about yourself whilst doing so)

[jeepster]

midtown is an evil place.

i fucking hate my cellphone. i got it about 3 months ago, first phone ever. worst descision ive made. im not dependent on it yet, but it is another evil in my life. its like a symbiot or a parasite. evilllllll.

[dunkin deeznuts]

midtown is the home of some of the best table showers ever............

[mr fluffernutter]

actually no, i do not. but that reminds me; i have another "step" to add:

?. ONLY listen to el-p, aesop rock, yo la tengo, cannibal ox, RJD2, balzac, G.I.S.M., the arcade fire, king kahn and the BBQ show, "rehab," justice, yann tiersen, and animal collective

(and feel badly about yourself whilst doing so)

dude

keep listening to Rehab

its a dying breed of music

keep it alive

[Ahlvahroe]

Two mormons rang my doorbell. They explained to me their pampthlet. At first I had forgotten that they were mormons until I read the M word in their booklet. They asked if they can give me the book I said yes. Then asked if they can come back to answer questions. I also said yes. They asked me for my phone number and I gave them a fake one. I feel terrible for wasting their time. They will be back Friday around 5. What do I do?

a few years ago some mormons came to my door with literature but i had a paper due the next day so i told them i dont have time to talk. they said if there was anything they could do for me and i told them that i was out of bread and if they could go to the store and get me some cause i didnt have time for that as well. they gave me a weird look and said they had to finish their rounds. never saw em again.

[sybaritical]

reading soraanaam's story i remembered:

i got a pill of E for 15 dollars and i sold it to some girl who was doing it for the first time for 80. Me and my friend told her that it was a really high dose so she could split it with a friend and she left with a big smile on her face.

.. Yeahhhh ... I was pretty trashed at a party in Manchester sometime around 1990 and I sold a girl 2 aspirin for £20.

[Servo2000]

actually no, i do not. but that reminds me; i have another "step" to add:

?. ONLY listen to el-p, aesop rock, yo la tengo, cannibal ox, RJD2, balzac, G.I.S.M., the arcade fire, king kahn and the BBQ show, "rehab," justice, yann tiersen, and animal collective

(and feel badly about yourself whilst doing so)

Dude, the only time I don't feel bad about myself is when I'm listening to the Animal Collective.

edit: What the fuck? Did I just say "dude?" I need to get the hell out of California.

[cureOne]

Some cuntrag with a bro-hawk and driving a grey minivan cut me off yesterday so I flipped him the bird, and he started going crazy, motioning for me to pull over because he wanted to fight, then he tried to spit on my car but missed when he was pulling over and I drove by him, middle finger up.

Do people really pull over to fight about traffic disputes?

Plus this was directly across from the front door of a police station, not even 50 feet away.

[BRAD PIFFERY]

I've been going to ratemybooty.com too much

[soraanaam]

Some cuntrag with a bro-hawk and driving a grey minivan cut me off yesterday so I flipped him the bird, and he started going crazy, motioning for me to pull over because he wanted to fight, then he tried to spit on my car but missed when he was pulling over and I drove by him, middle finger up.

Do people really pull over to fight about traffic disputes?

Plus this was directly across from the front door of a police station, not even 50 feet away.

i was watching americas most wanted about how this one dude honked at these two asian dudes to speed up and they stopped and shot the dude 50 times over, you know what, im not in it for road rage.

[viv1984viv]

Some cuntrag with a bro-hawk and driving a grey minivan cut me off yesterday so I flipped him the bird, and he started going crazy, motioning for me to pull over because he wanted to fight, then he tried to spit on my car but missed when he was pulling over and I drove by him, middle finger up.

Do people really pull over to fight about traffic disputes?

Plus this was directly across from the front door of a police station, not even 50 feet away.

same thing has happened to me, except it was on this main road, I was in my mates car ( him driving ), this maniac cut us up, I fliiped him and made eye contact with him through his mirror, he stops, we're holding up the traffic, gets out leans on the front of my mates car and just balls at us for minute or two, after about 2 mins we are still in the car looking at him, so he gets in his car and drives off.....

what a dick.

but he made his point i guess, now i KNOW he's an idiot.

[cureOne]

i was watching americas most wanted about how this one dude honked at these two asian dudes to speed up and they stopped and shot the dude 50 times over, you know what, im not in it for road rage.

I know a dude that was in a similar situation as me, he pulled over to yell at this dude, and the guy pulled out a gun and shot him point blank in the face, it blew out his fucking jaw and he half his teeth and needed mad plastic surgery but he survived.

Thats probably why I didn't pull over to fight the guy.

[Kasper]

a few years ago some mormons came to my door with literature but i had a paper due the next day so i told them i dont have time to talk. they said if there was anything they could do for me and i told them that i was out of bread and if they could go to the store and get me some cause i didnt have time for that as well. they gave me a weird look and said they had to finish their rounds. never saw em again.

couple years ago, some mormons knocked on my door and for whatever reason, i chated with them for like max 3 min. anyway, when i tried to politely tell them to leave, they started trying to take some of my time to take to me about god or the bible or some other religious crap, i don't remember. now, i'm about as anti-religion as one can get so i started to get seriously annoyed that they wouldn't leave so i told them i had to cut the grass. they fucking offered me to cut the grass themselves and then let them talk to me about god or whatever for the same time it took them. at this point, i flipped and yelled at them to get to fuck out of my porch and started to rant about religion and everything. of all the insults i threw at them (and there was alot), they only thing they got was that i didn't believe in god, never had and never will and for some kind of weird reason, they kind of made of point to try to convert me. they fucking came back once a week for the remaining of the summer and i seriously tried everything to drive them away and nothing worked. was really funny cause i once told them i would let them talk to me about god as long as they would get drunk with me and they really gave it some thoughts. mormons are the saddest ppl on earth. anyway, i finally realized that no amount of insulting, putting satanist thing on my door or trying to break them would make them stop coming to my house so i called the cops on them and threaten to get a restraining order if they continued coming. it's the only time in my life i've been glad cops were around...

moral of the story is, fuck mormons...

[cheep]

on the mormon note...

i grew up(all of middle and highschool) as a jehovahs witness. every saturday morning id go door to door trying to get people to listen. i fucking hated it.

[mizanation]

sometimes, i go to the manhattan mall just to eat at the food court and ogle the shit out of attractive mall goth girls, ghetto fab divas, sexy 17 year old tourists, bridge-and-tunnel sluts, and emo/scene chicks.

new yorkers will hopefully understand why visiting the manhattan mall is the kind of thing that requires a confession.

omc, i've picked up some pretty fine ass in the manhattan mall. never anything worth keeping. but i know what you're saying, bro.

don't worry about it. think of it like going to the zoo.

[cureOne]

I stayed with some witnesses when I was in hawaii, they were super fucking nice but REALLY weird, the dude had cases and cases of beer he would let me drink and get wasted, but he never had more than two, and he would often put ice in it.

Also he was married to this filipino woman who could cook up a motherfucking hurricane it was awesome. On saturdays they had big ass church parties and they would sit around with absurd amounts of food and sing karaoke for hours, I'm talking like 4pm to midnight, no stops.

[cheep]

yeah... witnesses will drink but never get drunk(supposedly)... 2 beers is the accepted thing i guess.

i havent been part of it in 11 years, and will never be. it made me fucking hate religion.