Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[ojjairus]

Just tell them straight up that you're not interested, or they are not your type. What are you scared of? Feels good to reject girls haha.

Girls do it all the time...it will help to not send mixed messges, like if you were to do it in a "nice polite way".

[mouko]

Just tell them straight up that you're not interested, or they are not your type. What are you scared of? Feels good to reject girls haha.

Girls do it all the time...it will help to not send mixed messges, like if you were to do it in a "nice polite way".

lol I just realized that's the easiest way. Think I was just caught up in trying to figure out how to juggle but its nothing different than going on some dates with one person and not feeling her.

[djrajio]

I thought it was this.

I love that movie. A lot of chumps could learn a thing or two from watching it.

[djrajio]

Yo so I got this pretty good dilemma goin on. I've always gone after one girl at a time..meaning I've never gone on dates with a couple girls, but I was just featured in this a magazine in their summer dating issue and got a handful of girls to go on dates with. Any tips for juggling this shit?

I mean, I'm playing email tag with them so I can weed out the girls I don't want to go on dates with, but there are already about 4 really good potential girls.

If I decide to really pursue one whats the best way to tell off the other chicks? I figured just not responding anymore would be a quick way but that seems like a dick move.

Hi Mouko,

Good question.

Before I answer your original question let me illustrate for the youngin's a key concept you are doing successfully.

In finance we call it diversifying your portfolio.

You never want to put all your eggs in one basket because if your 100% allocated investment goes south, your fucked.

In market trading, the idea is to take small losses and get out quickly of losing positions and ride your winners.

In venture capital they call it the bell curve 20:1. For every 20 start-up companies you'll investment in, you'll lose money on but the 1block buster will more than make up for your losses.

In sales, they call it working your leads. Consistently working potential sale opportunities, most of which will fail but a few that will reap a huge wind-fall.

And in dating, its called "spinning plates" or whatever.

What do they all have in common?

They are all methods of MITIGATING RISK and INCREASING YOUR RETURN/SUCCESS.

Girls do this shit all the time. Have multiple guys they string along and then choose one that best suits them.

No you know why that "really cool" girl that kept calling and e-mailing you went cold ALL OF A SUDDEN even though you THOUGHT everything was going smoothly.

Now back to your original question:

I would never out right reject a girl and put things on bad terms. Because I'm a firm believer in never burning bridges/always leave them better than when you met them. Any orbiting females you aren't serious with now could led to potential opportunities in the future; therefore it might just be bad timing. In addition, if you are on good terms, she might hook you up with her hot friends in future if your current relationship goes south. Finally, if worse comes to worse just give them "Let's Just Be Friends". She'll probably not be used to getting that from guys. Haha.

[djrajio]

fuck as many of them as u can and just go with the flow until u find one u wanna keep

You, my virgin friend, are in no position to give advice or answer questions in this thread.

[mouko]

What do they all have in common?

They are all methods of MITIGATING RISK and INCREASING YOUR RETURN/SUCCESS.

Girls do this shit all the time. Have multiple guys they string along and then choose one that best suits them.

No you know why that "really cool" girl that kept calling and e-mailing you went cold ALL OF A SUDDEN even though you THOUGHT everything was going smoothly.

Now back to your original question:

I would never out right reject a girl and put things on bad terms. Because I'm a firm believer in never burning bridges/always leave them better than when you met them. Any orbiting females you aren't serious with now could led to potential opportunities in the future; therefore it might just be bad timing. In addition, if you are on good terms, she might hook you up with her hot friends in future if your current relationship goes south. Finally, if worse comes to worse just give them "Let's Just Be Friends". She'll probably not be used to getting that from guys. Haha.

Yeah. my problem is I never dated around. it was either I want to hook up with this girl and we hook up, or I want to date this girl longtime and it happened. So even though I hit the target when I'm going after a girl to date long term, I realize it was a mistake (especially with my last chick, invested too much and it went to shit).

I think that's what I'm looking for in terms of dating around, just not burning bridges. I'm not used to setting shit up like this but since my old methods never got me what I wanted I thought I try juggling a few dates.

Thanks.

[djrajio]

I think juggling multiple women is good because it removes the desperation/neediness that comes with pursuing a girl. Many guys get too emotionally attached and want to be exclusive way too early which removes the attraction and excitement. Having multiple women gives you time to clear your head and think more objectively plus also gives you a genuine excuse that you are a busy guy with options.

As I said before girls want guys that others girls want so having many girls you are dating actually improves your success since your more valuable in her eyes.

As long as your a real with a girl from the onset and make clear to her that you are casually dating other people and aren't exclusive/serious she can't blame you for getting jealous, etc. Be clear where the boundaries are and let the cards fall where they may.

[ojjairus]

Random question:do guys also want girls that other guys want? i personally don't but couldn't reference other points in my life where other guys did the same...at this time.

[djrajio]

Ok, so you want ugly women that no other guys would even consider touching.

Fine by me.

Less competition.

[tyang]

^ i lol'd 10char

[ojjairus]

its the less obvious chicks you dig concept.

i'll take the cwg's. you get the kags.

DAVID D-wheres ze pickup lines.(8)

[ajax]

As long as your a real with a girl from the onset and make clear to her that you are casually dating other people and aren't exclusive/serious she can't blame you for getting jealous, etc. Be clear where the boundaries are and let the cards fall where they may.

word.. you were featured on a date magazine.. so the girls gotta expect that shes not the only 1 that has contacted you..

raj, i still might be coming to japan to teach hahahha

[transactionfee]

I am really dumb. Can you write me dialouge.

Hey its (NAME HERE). We should go to (PLACE). Afterwards I give you permission to (VERB) my (NOUN).

You can start your djrajio mad lib venture. Yay or yay? I can pay in installments of rep points. K thx bye.

[arem]

recently, i've been chilling/chilled with with, among others, three girls that i met at a pre-orientation meeting for my college. (i'll be a freshman this fall)

i want to stop seeing one of the girls because she isn't as hot as she looked when i met her (beer goggle concept). How do I dump her and not have her screw shit up/call me out with the two other girls i've been talking to?

btw. We(the freshman) are going out for drinks with the upperclassmen next week. How do I keep the three girls from realizing about each other? Should I just skip this meeting?

edit: i know. i should have chosen my girls more carefully

You aren't listening to the advice being given. You don't need to worry about the girls knowing about each other because: A) They probably do already or will find out soon enough and Having multiple people interested in you makes you look more attractive to women.

If you want to stop seeing one just make yourself too busy to have time for her without being a dick about it. She'll get the message eventually without you hurting her feelings. As far as drinks go, by all means go to the event, be charming and mingle with all three. You'll be able to compare/contrast them and sort them out in your mind, while looking like a guy who has stuff going on and who is a prize for them to compete over.

[arem]

There is no one a woman is more competitive with than her best friends.

[phen3N]

i smell a foursome

[Whodinihimself]

Nothing turns a woman on more than the scent of other women on a man.......even Manswears knows that:

http://www.spike.com/video/whats-one-scent/3045384

i know having multiple girls interested in me is a good thing, but i figured playing field would be different if they're all friends?

[Ichigo100%]

Although I know/understand a lot of what Dj is talking about, it's still a nice read. Keep it up Dj.

[djrajio]

You aren't listening to the advice being given. You don't need to worry about the girls knowing about each other because: A) They probably do already or will find out soon enough and Having multiple people interested in you makes you look more attractive to women.

If you want to stop seeing one just make yourself too busy to have time for her without being a dick about it. She'll get the message eventually without you hurting her feelings. As far as drinks go, by all means go to the event, be charming and mingle with all three. You'll be able to compare/contrast them and sort them out in your mind, while looking like a guy who has stuff going on and who is a prize for them to compete over.

Finally someone who fucking gets it.

[shimshimhae]

uno mas.

djrajio i'm sure you might experience this cause you're working in japan.

you know how korean and japanese cultures both have this major age superiority complex? Where older niggas try to boss you around and shit?

it might be because i've never experienced this before cause i'm pretty much a banana, but i'm having alot of trouble with this shit when i'm out clubbing/partying with older people. they basically make me look like a bitch, and if i call them out on their bullshit they just give me the usual lecture about how i need to humble cause i'm younger or some bullshit.

i know it would be easier to just hang out with other people who aren't like this, but i figure i'm gonna need to learn how to deal with this dilemma if i ever wanna work in a corporate setting in Asia, so i might as well learn now.

[djrajio]

sorry for the late reply regarding this. but regarding your question on older senpai's bossing you around. that's just the way it is. you gotta earn your stripes. its called becoming a man.

[ProfMonnitoff]

what about older girls

i was at this bbq today where i was by far the youngest person

lots of great girls but all in their late 20s (i'm 19)

i didnt really run any game to be honest because i'm sure they've heard it all before

[djrajio]

The trick is to focus on the desperate cougars in the group and become the dominant alpha male. Basically make yourself a walking contradiction so all the bitches will be wondering why the youngest buck in the herd is laying the smoothest game.

[sistersuzie]

playing a game, to aim at the weakest preys,

might (will) work (if you're good actor enough)

BUT

unless you're totally desperate. that sounds like the lamest thing ever.

"yo i'm such a loser on my own, i'll target the desperate hole-boxes."

swag is the only way!!

[djrajio]

Bitch, make your own thread!

[sistersuzie]

man, you must be right!

before posting i asked myself: would a chick opinion matters when time comes for rook hunters to try to get their chicken meal?

(as i've seen them birds running around when the farmers had their head turned)

well.

i always preferred my lunch to be juicy & crispy.

i guess some will go for the tofu substitute!

[bouwnt]

dj - whas the proper way to eat tofu, doctor ?

p l e a s e r e s p o n d è r

[salaryman]

with no teeth.

man, you know this.

[redgrail]

playing a game, to aim at the weakest preys,

might (will) work (if you're good actor enough)

BUT

unless you're totally desperate. that sounds like the lamest thing ever.

"yo i'm such a loser on my own, i'll target the desperate hole-boxes."

swag is the only way!!

why u h8 on desparate hole-boxes du?

mayne, desperate hole-boxes got feelings too...:(

also, djraijo.>>>>>>>

I'm in a place where I have maybe 1 friend for a month, just hanging out. Got a dayjob, but nights I do whatever the fuck I want. Turns out this kid I'm staying with is pretty lame. So I'm looking to tame some wildcats. How the fuck do I do this when I've got no one to roll with? No matter where I turn up, I'll be the lamer with 0 social capital. HOW 2 PLAY DIS????:confused::confused::confused:

[ProfMonnitoff]

why u h8 on desparate hole-boxes du?

mayne, desperate hole-boxes got feelings too...:(

also, djraijo.>>>>>>>

I'm in a place where I have maybe 1 friend for a month, just hanging out. Got a dayjob, but nights I do whatever the fuck I want. Turns out this kid I'm staying with is pretty lame. So I'm looking to tame some wildcats. How the fuck do I do this when I've got no one to roll with? No matter where I turn up, I'll be the lamer with 0 social capital. HOW 2 PLAY DIS????:confused::confused::confused:

if ur older than 25 or so u can look for social events for people who are new in town. i dont know if people who go to those kinds of things are really lame (it probably depends on the event).