Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[dismalfuture]

I just wanted to add here that some girls asked me what my job was, the other night, and for some reason the pencil sharpening thing just happened to come out. Nice little line, that. They had pretty good BS filters so I backed it up with the typical 'chinese food delivery boy' and other stuff. It actually worked, because the girl let me look at her boobs and made out with me within like 5 minutes.

[djrajio]

Thanks for the advice djr. In the mean time, should I still talk to her on MSN every night or pace myself out?

You should completely cut all contact with her for two weeks.

No fucking MSN/texting bullshit.

Give her the gift of missing you.

If she's interested, she'll contact you.

And when she does, keep it to a minimum.

[djrajio]

I just wanted to add here that some girls asked me what my job was, the other night, and for some reason the pencil sharpening thing just happened to come out. Nice little line, that. They had pretty good BS filters so I backed it up with the typical 'chinese food delivery boy' and other stuff. It actually worked, because the girl let me look at her boobs and made out with me within like 5 minutes.

Good job.

Yo, UPDATES FOR YOU MUTHA FUCKIN CHUMPS!

So remember that girl that completely blew me off and told me she was anemic three hours before the date last Saturday.

I cut all contact with this bitch and just went on my marry way. This week has been killer with work so I wasn't even thinking about bitches.

And guess who sends me a text last night????

How's going? I'm still sick and took the day off yesterday&today But I'm taking medicine so probably will get well soon!

How is your work? Busy?

Anyway I'll send you an email later

Maybe we can hang out next weekかな

I still haven't replied to her and don't plan to until she makes the extra effort.

This is how to successfully recover from flake young jedi's.

[poly800rock]

You should completely cut all contact with her for two weeks.

No fucking MSN/texting bullshit.

Give her the gift of missing you.

If she's interested, she'll contact you.

And when she does, keep it to a minimum.

this is so fucking key. something it took me a while to learn. if you can't control yourself, fucking delete the number. and stop cybering.

[DJ_Flame]

I just wanted to add here that some girls asked me what my job was, the other night, and for some reason the pencil sharpening thing just happened to come out. Nice little line, that. They had pretty good BS filters so I backed it up with the typical 'chinese food delivery boy' and other stuff. It actually worked, because the girl let me look at her boobs and made out with me within like 5 minutes.

Nice, I plan to go "starving design student" route soon.

[dismalfuture]

Nice, I plan to go "starving design student" route soon.

This is too cool and risks sounding tryhard, no?

[ajax]

what is the pencil sharpening line?

[hellogoodbye]

care to "sharpen" my "pencil"

wink wink nudge nudge

[DJ_Flame]

This is too cool and risks sounding tryhard, no?

I'm macking on 20-year olds, so I could care the fuck less.

[djrajio]

what is the pencil sharpening line?

Yo so my boys and I now tell bitches were english teachers to see their reaction. We tell em we used to work for Nova and now somehow we were able to get balla status jobs in finance working for top banks n' shit and go from living in Chiba and Saitama to living in Roppongi Hills and Midtown. Funny thing is these bitches can put 2 and 2 together. Like how the fuck you go from 2 hours out in chiba to $10,000 a month bachelor pad in Midtown_!? Just cracks us up.

I told one girl last Saturday my job is to sharpen wooden pencils.

Like I have a razor blade and I manually make the ends of wooden pencils sharp all day long.

I told them I've been a apprentice for 3 years and now will be taking over the family business.

She believed the entire story.

Hahaha.

See my previous post here.

[dismalfuture]

I would add in somewhere that it's your 'dream' .... Asian beezies love the 'I'm following my dreams' kinda shit...

[gfunkdocta]

lol that's a mystery method

but his story was somethin like

i work in a match factory

i see huge lumber turn into small matches

i count 50 and box them

it's a long time family business that i'll inherit

[ajax]

hahah must have missed that...

"following my dreams" hahahah

all girls love that shit

[djrajio]

lol that's a mystery method

but his story was somethin like

i work in a match factory

i see huge lumber turn into small matches

i count 50 and box them

it's a long time family business that i'll inherit

Sorry I don't read that crazy motherfuckers bullshit.

I just made it up on my own and thought it was "clever".

[gfunkdocta]

well, u coulda had a book and more that money

cuz this thread reads like it, just saying

[djrajio]

It's called becoming a man.

You can't buy a book on this shit.

[gfunkdocta]

becoming a man.

You can't buy a book on this shit.

that's a good book title.

[ajax]

[ojjairus]

yea djrajio coulda wrote that mystery method/pua shit first since he already knows it all.

Q: i know its a bad idea to ask for her number if she is working but what about volunteering? lol and how should i close given a short amount of time. just be like aye i gotta go lemme get your number?

I don't feel confident in asking for their number if i don't build up that rapport and attraction.

[MharcI]

Alright for serious though, what if you're just chillin somewhere. On the train, waiting for the bus...and you see some hot bitch who you think may be eye fucking you. How do you approach, what could you even say?

[newaesthetic]

yea djrajio coulda wrote that mystery method/pua shit first since he already knows it all.

Q: i know its a bad idea to ask for her number if she is working but what about volunteering? lol and how should i close given a short amount of time. just be like aye i gotta go lemme get your number?

I don't feel confident in asking for their number if i don't build up that rapport and attraction.

DW--7ZmXrXo

I've never felt awkward asking for the numbers :confused:

I've never read the shit; but why's it called "mystery"? I'm sure someone here knows.

[djrajio]

Easy, give yourself a time limit and express that to the girl:

"Hey, look I gotta get run in a few minutes, but I was wondering if you were down to <insert chill, go out for coffee, hang out again, get to know each other>. Let me get your number. Are you 310 area code?"

While saying it, whip out the phone and already assume the sale, ready to input the number.

If she says sorry I don't give out my number, input into your phone and say out loud:

"Ok, name is girl that does not give out number...ok so what was your number again?" Or some other lame joke that will make her laugh.

Basically you want to diffuse the situation WITHOUT ACTUALLY asking her CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER? cuz it puts you in position of begging.

if she says, I have a boyfriend. Be like, yeah me too, we should do a double-date in a cocky / sarcastic manner, etc....

[jlow]

the cluelessness of most of you guys asking questions in here is un-fucking-believable.

[djrajio]

^^^^

Watch your mouth boy, I read your blog and know all your woman issues.

[jlow]

ha!

i only have one issue with women: that i cant find one i wanna wife that matches my unobtainable standards.

look rajio, i aint gonna deny that you dont have a sick du internet persona, but most of this stuff you writing is downright elementary. this aint a reflection on you, but on sf.

which just comes down to one thing in my opinion: experience (and the intelligence to learn from said experience).

so im guessing most of the guys here have minimal experience with girls.

everything we know, we learnt through experience.

superfuture, you can pretend to take all the advice rajio is telling you over the internet, but you gotta get out there.. bad experiences are just as good as.. good ones. it'll make you stronger, make you nonchalant

you ask a girl for her number and she goes 'i have a boyfriend' youd be like 'thats not what i asked you'.. you'll learn how to react bettter in potentially bad situations. how to disarm girls.

when do you wanna be a sua-vay motherfucker, sometimes a little bit of self-deprecation is good, what persona you take depends on the girl, is she older/younger, does she look friendly/hot bitch?

what raj is telling you hes learnt himself.

if you aint out there getting numbers, hitting up girls in person.. who you gonna apply this stuff too?

this one girl who you're fantasizing over right now? checking for her texts? replying her straight away?

stop overanalyzing mayn.

how do you push away a girl?

you fall in love with her.

its a really.. noble(?) thing what you're doing rajio. respect to your patience.

to the dude who wrote an essay about the girl who he doesnt know whether is messing with him or not?

you wrote the essay.. you lose.

general rule of thumb.

1. stop overanalyzing

2. wait an hour before you reply her texts

3. if she flakes, you had something better to do anyway

4. you always have something better to do

5. you always have someone better to do it with

6. just say hi

picking up in a club = get your dick grinded, maybe you fucked her if you dont get gatekeepered, her friend gatekeeper her but you get her number, % of her replying your interest = minimal / she wont remember you / shes actually dog-a-log

VS

picking up on the street, you're both straight, she WILL remember you, u can do it.

u can be datguy too!

pz.

[darkanimal]

my recent experience with this girl I brought home on my 2nd date reached a couple of bases but didn't close, she fell of the face of the earth and I didnt care, last week she sent me a message she wants to hang out, I promised to call her yesterday:

girl: you never called me yesterday

dark: this is true..let's do next Mon or Tues

girl: what do you want to do

dark: treasure hunting

girl: lol

dark: were going to the beach

girl: i can't wear bathing suit

dark: we'll just chill on the boardwalk

girl: ok what if its scorching heat got to do something indoor

dark: indoor drinking

girl: lol david wont approve of that

dark: who is he again, is he the teacher

(I thought she broke up with this dude)

girl: yeah

dark: is he the jealous type

girl: he says hes not but hes possessive

dark: well im not the jealous type

girl: lol youre the best

dark: i know! both outdoor and indoor

girl: dont get all pervy on me

dark: i cant help but tell the truth

girl: ok so yeah next week then, il schedule the baby sitter so we can meet

[blm14]

From http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/smoove_is_waiting

Girl, there comes a time when even a strong, well-dressed man must admit defeat.

It has been a long time since we broke up and you left me standing in the rain outside of your condo. As I walked home that evening, it never would have crossed my mind that four years from now you would not have returned to me, that you would have nearly gotten married, that you would not even receive one of my phone calls. Or my letters, text messages, faxes, or instant messages.

Four years ago this would have been inconceivable that you, my one true girl, could have stayed away from me for this long. Do you not remember how it once was? We were like two love prospectors who discovered richer and richer veins of pure ecstasy. We would bump and grind in the dimly lit tunnels as shining white donkeys would carry wagons of our love to be washed off and then smelted down into fine pieces of jewelry, which I would place on your naked chocolate body while you slept. When you awoke, we would freak again.

How could a love this sexy end? After many long nights in my round circular bed wondering, and long days looking at myself in my large oval mirror, I have come to the realization that we may never do the nasty again.

Damn.

I just wanted to use this opportunity to say that no matter what happens in my life or what happens I will be here, waiting for you. Even if I am married, living in the suburbs with three children, if you were to send me a note saying "Let's give it another chance" I would immediately abandon my life, rent out my old penthouse apartment, take my clothes out of storage, and immediately start creating a sumptuous dinner or breakfast for me to feed you, depending on the time of the day it was. That is what you mean to me.

I would, at this point, like to ask any women that I am currently dating to stop reading this column.

So, girl, if you doubt that I no longer love you, I ask you to remove that doubt, for this love is deep. Too deep to fade by the mere passage of time. If you worry about how you have treated me in the past, which, I think we both can admit, was cold, I would say that having you back in my arms was worth the pain and torment I have endured by your absence. If you worry that we will no longer be physically compatible, that somehow we will no longer be able to light the fuse of the atom bomb that is our sexuality, I have to say, you know that not to be true.

While a small sliver of hope will always remain inside of me, Smoove has come to the hard understanding that you are not coming back to me. It is like a part of Smoove has died and, for this part, he has begun to grieve. I am not certain of which stage of the mourning process it is that one begins making lists, but Smoove has begun making them. I now present to you Smoove's Happiest Memories Of When We Were Together:

#5: That time I broke you off nasty outside of that club.

#4: Making love until the dawn on Christmas morning.

#3: The night you invited your friend Cherise into our bedroom and I then hand-fed both of you the succulent berries before getting freaky with both of you in my whirlpool.

#2: The many nights you rode my pony until I couldn't take it anymore.

#1: Waking up before you, and just holding you in my arms until you woke up and then hitting you doggy-style until you lost your mind.

That is only one list of many. I have many complex emotions to work though. And while my hair remains impeccable and my clothes are fresh, the feelings that lie beneath Smoove's surface roil like a volcano waiting for you to calm the tempest by saying those three little words; "I need you." If you were to add the words "now" or "right here on the floor" I would have no problem with that.

Even if you are not interested in once again contacting Smoove, arranging a time to meet, getting picked up in fine white automobile, dancing all night at a popular nightspot, enjoying a late dinner before being loved so hard and long you will think your heart may explode from pure 100 percent uncut pleasure, I will accept this. It has taken Smoove a long time and many heart-to-heart talks with my main man, Darnell, but I have come to grips with the situation.

What Smoove would like you to understand is this: No matter where you are or who you are with, there is a man who smells of exotic lotions who loves you and wants you to be happy. And if you are ever need another taste, Smoove will always be here, ready to break you off some.

Smoove out.

[ojjairus]

ha!

i only have one issue with women: that i cant find one i wanna wife that matches my unobtainable standards.

look rajio, i aint gonna deny that you dont have a sick du internet persona, but most of this stuff you writing is downright elementary. this aint a reflection on you, but on sf.

which just comes down to one thing in my opinion: experience (and the intelligence to learn from said experience).

so im guessing most of the guys here have minimal experience with girls.

everything we know, we learnt through experience.

superfuture, you can pretend to take all the advice rajio is telling you over the internet, but you gotta get out there.. bad experiences are just as good as.. good ones. it'll make you stronger, make you nonchalant

you ask a girl for her number and she goes 'i have a boyfriend' youd be like 'thats not what i asked you'.. you'll learn how to react bettter in potentially bad situations. how to disarm girls.

when do you wanna be a sua-vay motherfucker, sometimes a little bit of self-deprecation is good, what persona you take depends on the girl, is she older/younger, does she look friendly/hot bitch?

what raj is telling you hes learnt himself.

if you aint out there getting numbers, hitting up girls in person.. who you gonna apply this stuff too?

this one girl who you're fantasizing over right now? checking for her texts? replying her straight away?

stop overanalyzing mayn.

how do you push away a girl?

you fall in love with her.

its a really.. noble(?) thing what you're doing rajio. respect to your patience.

to the dude who wrote an essay about the girl who he doesnt know whether is messing with him or not?

you wrote the essay.. you lose.

general rule of thumb.

1. stop overanalyzing

2. wait an hour before you reply her texts

3. if she flakes, you had something better to do anyway

4. you always have something better to do

5. you always have someone better to do it with

6. just say hi

picking up in a club = get your dick grinded, maybe you fucked her if you dont get gatekeepered, her friend gatekeeper her but you get her number, % of her replying your interest = minimal / she wont remember you / shes actually dog-a-log

VS

picking up on the street, you're both straight, she WILL remember you, u can do it.

u can be datguy too!

pz.

[sushijerk]

my recent experience with this girl I brought home on my 2nd date reached a couple of bases but didn't close, she fell of the face of the earth and I didnt care, last week she sent me a message she wants to hang out, I promised to call her yesterday:

girl: you never called me yesterday

dark: this is true..let's do next Mon or Tues

girl: what do you want to do

dark: treasure hunting

girl: lol

dark: were going to the beach

girl: i can't wear bathing suit

dark: we'll just chill on the boardwalk

girl: ok what if its scorching heat got to do something indoor

dark: indoor drinking

girl: lol david wont approve of that

dark: who is he again, is he the teacher

(I thought she broke up with this dude)

girl: yeah

dark: is he the jealous type

girl: he says hes not but hes possessive

dark: well im not the jealous type

girl: lol youre the best

dark: i know! both outdoor and indoor

girl: dont get all pervy on me

dark: i cant help but tell the truth

girl: ok so yeah next week then, il schedule the baby sitter so we can meet

Wait what? Everything was good til this portion.

[6ixes&7evens]

whats up with everyone writing essays now?