Omegle.com - post your conversations

[mpcec]

omegle or sufu?

and neptunecitylocal i forgot the (10)

omegle 10 char

[sawn-off chef]

yeah i mean, it's like stickam, i wonder if you've seen that shit? it's scene kid heaven.

[Leonard Leroy]

oh what the hell, no more people being gay, and everyone just trying to have conversation now. I mean its cool ,but whatever.

[Fabulaz]

Stranger: hey i want internet sex you in?

You: sup

Stranger: the sky

You: hell yea

You: no niggers though\

Stranger: cool male or female?

Stranger: not a nigger lol

You: whatever you want

Stranger: cool be male then

You: done

You: tranny male or regular?

Stranger: haha did you magically grow one then?

Stranger: regular male plz

You: nah i just put strap on

Stranger: XD

Stranger: thats funny

You: penis in your butt?

Stranger: nope in my vagina

Stranger: at least I want fucked once in my vagina

Stranger: then you can go ass i guess

You: no

You: i got ass first then vag

You: then face

Stranger: okay then....

You: do you like toys

Stranger: depends what kind?

You: like

You: transformers

Stranger: umm... I like handcuffs.

Stranger: I'm not sure what a transformer is

You: those suck they hurt your wrists after a while

You: what about like legos

Stranger: yeah but they're kinky

Stranger: not really into lego sex...

You: oh

You: i fucking love legos

You: so you're a dude right

Stranger: I'm still not sure what you mean by lego though but I'm thinking the tiny toy.

Stranger: no i'm a female.

You: yea the one with the little nibs on top

You: like nipples

Stranger: weird. how is that a sex toy?

You: i like nipples

You: do you like nipples

You: not the big pepperoni ones

Stranger: yes

You: do you have those pepperoni ones

Stranger: nope.

Stranger: I have tiny erky nipples

Stranger: *perky

You: nice

You: wait

You: how perky

You: cuz there are some that are way too perky

You: like 3 inches long

You: thats nasty

Stranger: not extremely perky but average perky

Stranger: not 3 inches long or anything

Stranger: thats gross I agree

You: thats cool man

You: so i have to get this out of the way first

Stranger: i thought so too

You: im some old dude from england

You: like pretty old

You: are you still interested

Stranger: like how old?

You: like 35

Stranger: oh thats not to bad then haha I'm 25.

You: oh

You: thats even better

Stranger: if you were 50 or somethign taht'd be gross.

You: by 35 i meant 43 actually

Stranger: oh then no.

You: how come

Stranger: thats to old.

Stranger: it feels illegal

You: dont you have some sort of like nasty uncle fantasies

You: or like daddies friends comign over

Stranger: no. to weird

You: =(

Stranger: no my daddy has ugly friends haha

You: oh

You: my bad

Stranger: sorry to get your hopes up

Stranger: its okay

You: ok i have to confess

You: for real this time

You: im only 15

Stranger: confess what?

Stranger: um okay not your to young gross.

[LiberationFrequency]

Stranger: hi

You: ho

Stranger: its off to work we go

You: haha

You: good call

You: what are you wearing?

Stranger: shorts

Stranger: you?

You: black body paint

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Man]

Stranger: hey there

You: u must think im a girl

You: im not

You: im a Man

You: with a penis

Stranger: Hey me too!

You: exactly

[Quik]

Stranger: Good night control NY, American 3025, raw 11,000 feet,up and maintaining FL300

You: im so lonely

You: sometimes

You: i put on music

You: light some candles

You: and pretend that i have somebody to hold me close to their chest

You: their big hairy chest

Stranger: where are you?

You: guess

Stranger: go to hell

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: have you ever heard the wold cry?

You: to the blue corn moon?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[C0C0]

i suck at this

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hey what's up

Stranger: nothing much

Stranger: who loves orange soda

You: there's only two people in this convo...

Stranger: oh i thought there were at least 4183

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[LiberationFrequency]

this shit is like gambling.

Stranger: I'm sitting beside a pretty good troll

You: how good?

Stranger: his omegle antics dwarf mine

You: antics eh

Stranger: He simply permutates phrases around "plastic bag"

Stranger: It intrigues all who speak with him

Stranger: BUT DO NOT BE FOOLED

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[gfunkdocta]

i'm starting all my conversations with

sup, it's zac efron..

[Charlie Delta]

I'm kind of sad I couldn't help this person:

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hullo

Stranger: hey

Stranger: could you do me a quick favor?

You: so

You: ?

Stranger: ok well

Stranger: i was trying to feed my fish right?

Stranger: and i slipped

Stranger: and i.. um

Stranger: i accidentally the whole fish tank

Stranger: what should i do???!

You: you "the'd" the whole fish tank???

You: that's pretty bad

You: sorry to hear that...

Stranger: no i don't think you get it dude

Stranger: are you gonna help me or not

Stranger: i accidentally the entire fucking tank dude

Stranger: this is srs

Stranger: fine whatever bye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Some people are fucking sour:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hallo

Stranger: from

You: NY

Stranger: m?f?

You: hmmmmm...

You: is this a trick question?

Stranger: no

Stranger: why would it be

You: ok

You: m then!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Mr Calvin Oscar]

that's funny

[mpcec]

i suck at this

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hey what's up

Stranger: nothing much

Stranger: who loves orange soda

You: there's only two people in this convo...

Stranger: oh i thought there were at least 4183

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

the answer is kel. kel loves orange soda.

[mpcec]

im asking ppl about their favorite burger joints:

Stranger: TWO MORE

You: favorite burger joint?

Stranger: meat's murder, son

You: fuck the smiths

Stranger: fuck you, dude

You: ok

Stranger: the smiths rule you pathetic plebian

Stranger: enjoy getting fat

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Charlie Delta]

This was a good one!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Ok, lets make this one for the books!

Stranger: deal

Stranger: what kind of book?

You: a printed one!

Stranger: titled?

You: preferably somewhere in a library

You: I'm unsure of the title

Stranger: whats the name?!?!

You: but there should be a whale

Stranger: ah whats the topic?

Stranger: i ate a whale

You: somwhere...

You: really?

You: when?

Stranger: there is a whale in my stomach

Stranger: earlier .... i ate him whole

You: ok, that'll do

Stranger: he is swimming around being rode by a unicorn

You: Our book will be called "there is a whale in my stomach"

You: a unicorn?

Stranger: yes

You: or an unicorn?

You: sorry

Stranger: both

You: but us writers must be anal about these kind of things...

Stranger: i dont do anal

You: that's ok...

You: neither does our whale

Stranger: i know in this business it makes money but i refuse

You: or so I believe...

Stranger: i ate a siberian tiger today

You: but let's not get distracted...

You: our book!

Stranger: ok then

Stranger: i think it would be tie dyed

You: the tiger one will be the sequel

Stranger: every page

You: that would be good yes

You: an artiste I hear

You: my luck!

Stranger: indeed

Stranger: i can do the illustrations

You: so, I think our An Unicorns arch nemesis should be called "de Gute"

Stranger: i gave the whale firecrackers

You: what do you think?

Stranger: unicorns have no enemies...

Stranger: only predators

You: there you are mistaken

Stranger: i just asked him

You: surely unicorns must have enemies

You: oh

You: well in that case...

Stranger: just predators

Stranger: and they are scared of firecrackers

You: I think we'll be great friends

You: that I knew!

Stranger: will be?

You: yea

Stranger: ive known you for forever

You: you know, after our book is finished

Stranger: i actually miss you a bit

You: ah yea

Stranger: we had some good times

You: that is true

You: I liked the bit about the stomach...

You: but seriously now...

You: do you have any publisher friends?

You: I mean,

Stranger: i admired your immense to fever

You: I really think we're onto something here

Stranger: publishers? no but im sure i can buy one on ebay

You: ok

Stranger: time out

Stranger: im pissed

Stranger: i hate friends that dont comprehend in thier mind that they can stop eating things like chips and cookies before they are all gone

Stranger: they can save some for other people

You: well, things are going exceptionally well today, we already have a title, an hero, some predators, illustrations and now also very easy acces to a publisher, things are going very great if I may say so...

Stranger: and i hate friends that smack and eat fast

You: oh boi...

Stranger: yes we made alot of progress today

You: a troubled creative I see...

You: hmmm...

You: I think we'll get over that

Stranger: emptees

You: but I agree

You: those kind of people are no friends of mine!

You: NO SIR!

Stranger: indeed

Stranger: i tied him up in my closet

Stranger: im stuck on what to do with him now

You: hmmm, someone else suggested the whole fish tank

You: but that confused me a fair bit...

You: ok

You: off the record:

Stranger: yes?

You: you ever been with a brazilian?

You: the person before you was one...

You: sounded rather stupid to be honest

You: but not you!

You: NO SIREEEEE!

Stranger: wait what?

You: anyway, back on the record again...

Stranger: i have brazilian friends but have never bbeen with one

You: we'll need a plot

Stranger: drug rehab its always a good subject

You: yes...

You: but it would make the An Unicorn Hero look really bad

You: I mean, what would all the 5 year olds think?

Stranger: exactly

You: we are writing a childrens book are we not/

You: ?

Stranger: think? by the time its printed it will be illegal to think and punishable by death

You: oh... I was actually hoping that we could get this going as soon as possible...

You: you see, I am the son of a Nigerian King and I kind of need money...

Stranger: i know

Stranger: and it will happen soon

You: ok

You: am glad

Stranger: they already took my right to breath every other five minutes

Stranger: so i have to alternate

You: a troubled artists indeed...

You: must be tough!

Stranger: hmm not so much

Stranger: im used to it

Stranger: i can hold my breath super long which allowed me to catch teh whale

You: cool!

You: did you swallow it whole btw?

You: ?

Stranger: yes yes i did

You: ah I'm glad!

Stranger: why yes yes indeed

Stranger: ah well i must retire

You: but hey, about the monet one more time...

Stranger: you have aim incase we want to finish the book?

You: so my father was a Nigerian King, but he recently passed away...

Stranger: yes

You: and now I have all this money...

Stranger: mhmmm

You: which is a good thing, or atleast it would, 'cept some of it is kind of jinxed, so I was thinking.... perhaps you'd want some?

Stranger: hell yes

Stranger: how much?

You: ok good! It's very easy, but I can't have anyone wasting my time, so I have to make sure that you are trustworthy, I mean I sort of know already since you are co-writing this book with me, but still...

You: Oh don't worry about that it'll be a considerable amount

You: trust me...

Stranger: sounds good

You: my grandfathers crown alone was worth 16 millon Zng!

You: now there you go!

Stranger: ill take it

You: do the math!

You: so you are up for this? I can trust you?

Stranger: sure!

You: ok, here's how it will work, I will have my accountant set up an email to you, it will be titled "our book deal", please be sure it won't end up in your trash or something...

Stranger: eh sadly

Stranger: i have to go

You: you will then have to send me some money, really just a little bit, it would be to verify your account, my accountant tells me that 3000 Usd would be best

You: will that be a problem?

Stranger: goodluck with your cursed goods and such

You: oh no, please don't

You: this is a chance of a lifetime!

You: really!

Stranger: oh yes for you to get 3 grand

Stranger: good try but ill stick with the book plan

You: nonono, trust me

Stranger: i choose not to

You: I am the son of the king of Nigeria

Stranger: but he has not died

You: No? But then, what about our book?

Stranger: i give you legal rights to do what you want with my input

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[sircheesecake]

lol

Stranger: WE CAN DANCE IF YOU WAN TO

Stranger: WE CAN LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND

Stranger: BUT YOUR FRIENDS DONT DANCE

Stranger: AND IF THEY DONT DANCE

Stranger: THEN THEY AINT NO FRIENDS OF MINE

You: Lies

Stranger: NO U

You: I WILL DANCE WITH YOU ANYTIME

Stranger: :D

Stranger: RITE NOAW

Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg

Stranger: SAFTEY DANCE

You: I ONLY DANCE NAKED

IS THAT OK?

Stranger: EVEN FUKKEN BETTAR

Stranger: I dance nekked too! <3

You: <#

You: <3

Stranger: =\ that heart looks a little spikey

Stranger: better

You: WE CAN DANCE AND SING!

Stranger: YAR!

You: WE CAN DANCE! WE CAN DANCE!

Stranger: EVERYBODY LOOK @ YOUR PANTS

You: BUT WE CAN DANCE!

You: I DONT NEED PANTS

Stranger: TRUFAX

You: AND WE CAN DANCE IF WE WANT TO

Stranger: WE CAN DANCE

Stranger: WE CAN DANCE

Stranger: EVERYTHINGS OUTTA CONTROL

You: WE CAAAN DANCE!

Stranger: Well, song over :/

Stranger: So bai bai

Stranger: But

Stranger: I <3 whuever u r just cos im a homo liek that!

That convo was pretty random

[Charlie Delta]

Why do all these people get tired of it before I do?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: But what about the illustrations?

Stranger: What of them?

Stranger: Is that all you care about?

You: the ones you were going to be making for our book!

Stranger: With that kind of attitude you'll be booted off this team in no time.

Stranger: So shape up and realize that all books don't need pictures.

You: this team is you and me, so if you boot me off you

You: 'll be all left alone and sad

Stranger: Then I'll have my book with no pictures.

Stranger: Just like I wanted.

You: and our book will never be finished...

You: but...

Stranger: My book.

Stranger: It was never yours.

Stranger: Did you ever wonder why you never had any copies of it?

You: but, you just agreed....

Stranger: Because I didn't want you involved.

Stranger: You were being used.

You: just mere minutes ago...

Stranger: Yeah, well that was minutes ago.

Stranger: Things have changed.

You: this was all a scam???

You: a lie?

Stranger: Yes, you've been bamboozled.

Stranger: You'll never work in this town again.

You: oh sure, so next you will tell me that you are the son of the King of Nigeria and that you want to give me half of your money?

You: is that it???

Stranger: You're the laughing stock of the entire office and soon to be the entire book industry.

Stranger: No, I never wanted your money.

Stranger: I just wanted you to fail.

Stranger: And now its all possible.

You: FAIL???????

You: FAILLLLLLLLLLLLL???!?!?!?!?!

Stranger: Have fun going back home to your wife and kids and letting them know you just lost the biggest book deal in the history of book deals.

Stranger: You're done, Dwayne.

Stranger: DONE!

You: FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION!

Stranger: I know, it's now mandatory.

You: N. Hoolywood???

Stranger: Woolywood

Stranger: Where all mammoths live.

You: nonono...

You: this you won't take away from me?

Stranger: A little too late for that.

Stranger: It's already been taken.

Stranger: Are you just going to sit there silent?

Stranger: Speak up for yourself.

You: Are you the devil?

Stranger: Thats why you never got promotions.

Stranger: You just sit there.

Stranger: Thinking it will all come to you.

Stranger: You need to work for it.

Stranger: You need to reach out and take whats yours.

Stranger: But you never did.

Stranger: Another thing.

You: Omg! MICHEAL???

You: WOW!

Stranger: I've been sleeping with Sarah for the last ten months.

You: How's Jan?

Stranger: She's with Sarah.

You: Sarah from Australia?

Stranger: Im not Michael Scott.

[jordanelias]

Stranger: Show me your moves!

You: FALCON PAWNCH!!!!!FALCON PAWNCH!!!!!

Stranger: YES!!

You: YES!!!

You: ...graham?

Stranger: mark?

You: jordan

Stranger: jordan?

Stranger: hahahahhaha

You: YES

You: YES

You: hahahahahahaha

Stranger: Fucking awesome

Stranger: 3257 users

You: totally

Stranger: i was suprised by the insta timing

You: agreed

Stranger: man, that is totaly win

You: absolutely

[Tyro1]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: neopolitan ice cream

Stranger: Say What?

You: neopolitan ice cream

Stranger: YUM

Stranger: Oh no

You: no the correct answer was: What is the three flavour variety of this desert?

Stranger: Are you going to keep repeating that?

You: artists for 100

You: Mona Lisa

Stranger: JEOPARDY!

Stranger: You're insane!

You: yes that is the game

You: your answer?

Stranger: What is a famous masterpiece by DaVinci?

You: correct (100 on the board)

You: you can choose foods, artists, countries

Stranger: Ooh,next one!

Stranger: Foods

You: DOUBLE JEOPARDY!

You: early in the game

You: how much do you wish to gamble

Stranger: Yesss!

You: 100 or 0?

Stranger: Suck that Alex Trebeckk!!!

Stranger: All of it!

You: for 200 "capriosca"

Stranger: What is a cocktail?

You: sorry

You: the correct answer was "what is a spicy variety of pizza?"

You: you are back to 0

Stranger: Dammit!

Stranger: I even googled that shit.

Stranger: Really?

You: you what?

You: googled?

Stranger: Okay, thats okay

You: who the fuck do you think you are?

Stranger: Hmm?

Stranger: Whaat? Did I say that?

You: I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave

Stranger: Noooo

Stranger: Who the fuck do you think you are?

Stranger: Alex Trebek?!

You: please dont use that language we are live

Stranger: Sure!

[DüM]

cotton, it's A UNICORN.

or did you know this?

[Charlie Delta]

^fuck!

Also if this were a contest on who could keep people talking longest before they disconnect I would win!

I wouldn't even know where the disconnect button is!

[Charlie Delta]

Last one, I promise.

This one was very good, and again I won...

Tg, was this you???

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: if someone asks you where you are from, should you just answer?

You: I'm confused...

Stranger: Just say "Brazil"

Stranger: Then you'll fit in.

You: Ok

You: that's easy

You: where are you from?

Stranger: "Brazil"

Stranger: Where are you from?

You: Oh cool, me too

You: yes I

You: 'm from Brazil

Stranger: Awesome.

You: it is isn't it

Stranger: Yeah, gotta love Brazil

You: yea

You: drug wars, favella's all that fun stuff

Stranger: I just know of the brazillian wax

Stranger: ;\

You: oh boi, you used an emoticon already... way too soon!

Stranger: I am an emotional person.

You: ☃

You: there, now we are even!

Stranger: LOL.

You: yea

You: rolling on the floor laughing my ass off

You: but seriously now, why would someone care where I'm from

Stranger: Never tell strangers your location.

You: I'm from the internets (oh fun, a Bush-ism) isn't that all that matters anyway?

Stranger: One would think so

You: no offense, but the click isn't really there it seems

Stranger: If you're American you'll get disconnected a lot.

You: between us I mean...

Stranger: We're supposed to click?

You: hahaha

You: atleast talk

You: you know

You: before you, there was this person

You: he was 15 or 16 (couldn't make up his mind it seemed) and while he was swearing quite a bit, we still talked...

Stranger: LOL

Stranger: I'm not big on superficial talks.

You: and before that there was this person, and me and him/her wrote half a book together...

Stranger: No offense.

You: oh, but we can have non superficial talk aswell...

Stranger: What do you know about the quantum entanglement theory?

You: I

You: oops

You: I'm afraid not too much

You: should I?

You: is it any good?

Stranger: Let's say you have one energy going one direction clockwise

Stranger: And then you have another energy going counter clockwise

You: ok

Stranger: When entangled essentially both energies can go the same direction

You: why are these energies going in directions?

Stranger: No matter the distance

Stranger: All energies move. ;\

You: could the energy be visualised as an object being pushed?

You: like a ball?

Stranger: Sure.

Stranger: People are made up of energies

You: ok

You: so to make it easier for me

Stranger: So let's combine this idea with the idea of alternate realities

Stranger: Let's say there is a replica of you in an alternate realitiy

You: one ball moves clockwise, the other moves counterclockwise and you say they can go in the same direction?

Stranger: Yes.

You: but how?

You: entangled how?

Stranger: What if there is an alternate reality where energies move similar to how they do here on Earth?

Stranger: I'm just laying that out there

You: sorry if I'm a slow student but I'd rather really understand before it gets more complicated

You: ok

You: I could get into that

Stranger: That's basically all I wanted to say.

Stranger: It is complicated to understand.

Stranger: But that's the jist.

You: ok, I'll think about it abit

You: I learned something

You: now, can I tell you something?

Stranger: Sure.

You: did you know girls could ejaculate aswell? I'm not trying to be a pervert or anything, just figured, we could have an exchange of knowledge so to speak...

Stranger: I'm aware of this.

You: ok

Stranger: You must be male, eh?

You: hahaha why would that be?

Stranger: I just figure as much.

You: because I'm fascinated by something the female body and mind can do together that is not as widely known as it should?

Stranger: All men are fascinated by that.

Stranger: And people do know about it.

Stranger: G-spot orgasm, yo.

You: not enough people know about it I think, and alot of men are grossed out by it apparently...

Stranger: Men are pansies.

Stranger: Nothing else can be said.

You: true, alot of them are quite scared of the unknown...

Stranger: I laugh at them.

You: where are the great adventurers of times past???

Stranger: Six feet under?

You: the ones that would explore alternate realities as easy as they would a ladies privates

You: bearded men

You: with big elephant rifles

You: and steampowered airships...

You: those men...

Stranger: Oh yeah.

Stranger: One needs an elephant rifle to search women's privates...

You: that much is true!

You: so all modern men are laughable then?

Stranger: Pretty much.

You: that is also not fair, are you some sort of "world war women" supporter or something?

Stranger: I didn't say the women weren't also laughable

Stranger: Silly modern man, you

You: you know: all the girls vs all the boys!

You: oh now I'm modern all of the sudden?

Stranger: I'd assume as much

You: because I talked about squirting for a bit?

You: no fair!

Stranger: LOL

Stranger: Well I shall go to bed now. Hopefully you click more with your next person. Be sure to mention squirting.

You: hahahaha

Your conversational partner has disconnected

[jordanelias]

Impossible To Read

[werdna]

You: I'm also a rapper

Stranger: lets hear it

You: I spit it on the mic.

You: Eat pussy like a dyke.

You: This rap game's easy like learnin' to ride a bike.

You: That's my hit single.

You: It's called Cotton Candy

Stranger: classy

Stranger: i like the name

Stranger: how about a song called "Sphincter, Penile Bisector, All in Good Fun!"

You: Even better

Stranger: or "Dock our Cocks"

You: That'll be my next album name

Stranger: I'll be on the lookout for that in my local record store

Stranger: in the Religious/Childrens section i presume

You: Most likely. I'm trying to delve deep to get that realness out of me

You: You know

You: The truth

You: Like my fantasies of inserting my cock into the throats of turtles

Stranger: i do not know of this truth thing you speak of

Stranger: A resonable fantasy, not beyond your means

Stranger: what breed?

You: Snapping

You: Obviously.

Stranger: That's what i was thinking, duh

Stranger: "Tired Turtle Throat Fuck"

Stranger: that would be a good song

You: Sounds like an Aesop Fable

Stranger: "Yo i see you over there, laying on the marsh"

You: I wanna throat fuck you till your shit get's harsh

You: Fuck you in the day, fuck you in the night. Like B.Marley said, Everything's gonna be alright.

Stranger: Roll you on your stomach, upside down, squirm on ur shell, while my dick is feels like a pedophile clown

Stranger: Bite in vain bitch, cuz your jaws are small, my swollen dick is huge, like a bowling ball

You: One fish, two fish, three fish, then you. Dr. Seuss fucked your mom's shell and poo.

Stranger: Im fucking horny, so are you. your mouth tastes like a delicious beef stew

Stranger: Your fucking huge shell, works like armor plating, fuck you in the throat, with my hips gyrating

You: I hear your turtle moans, in your simple home. I've never had a reptile give me the road dome.

Stranger: Your arms out, legs spread, im gonna scream hell yeah as you're giving me head

You: With your stubby legs, you jerk me off gently. Come with me turtle and we'll fuck in my Bentley.

Stranger: Lift you off the ground, 69!, you slobber on my dick like a tasty Redvine

Stranger: Lick your turtle anus, quite the rectum, puckered up nice, while i'm piloting my Gundam

Stranger: Smoke a lotta weed, put it in your ass, tastes so good, like a river-dwelling bass

You: Smoking on that herb, we smoking out the shell. Smokin' out your ass, nigga we goin' to hell.

Stranger: You getting kinda tipsy, getting kinda slow, your smoking turtle ass moves like a fat ho

You: That fat bitch was great, that fat slut was nice. But ima stick with you like white stick on rice.

You: I like the turtle head, you like my human bed. I'll inject you with my semen like that poison called lead.

[Leonard Leroy]

no lie you need to tl:dr that cut it into punchlines, no one gonna read that shit and its a probably not as clever as you think.

[nayryan]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hello

Stranger: What's the best thing about having sex with a 9 year old?

You: lol wut?

Stranger: You can put her in pigtails so she looks like a 5 year old.

You: old enough to count, old enough to mount

[Knugget]

Stranger: sex

You: toys

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[blm14]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hello

You: hello

Stranger: where r u from ?

You: the last guy I was talking to had to leave because his cat was on fire.

You: wtf?!

Stranger: whataaaaa ???

You: I know

Stranger: on fire ??!?!

You: he's all "my cat is on fire, gotta go"

You: as I was typing "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

You: he bounced

Stranger: XDDD

You: I will never sate my curiosity on that event

Stranger: hahaaaa !!

[C0C0]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: please help i'm being raped!

Stranger: hey!!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Bigyen]

You: there are 5 doors how many are you affraid to open?

Stranger: 4

You: the correct answer was 3

You: whats your favorte animal?

Stranger: why?

Stranger: dinossaurs

You: um, sorry the right answer was monkies.

You: you're not verry good at this.