Superawkward

[tween_spirit]

^ that guy is cool

[gettoasty]

i just sigh a lot when i'm sitting in a closed stall

i feel it's a good way to warn anyone near by / stall is occupied.

[hahapete]

I was accosted by a cool mom last night while picking my sister and her friends up after Wintersalt. She was blasting Skrillex out of her Landrover and asked me how old my kid was. I told her I was picking up my sister. She replied, "Yeah, I'm picking up my sister too!"

I said, "No, I'm waiting for my sister and her friends." She quickly said, "Well, I'm picking up my kid and her friends and maybe I'm picking you up too!" She cackled for two minutes.

Her daughter showed up before my sister did and was incredibly embarrassed by her mom.

lllllllllollllllll.

[djrajio]

I was accosted by a cool mom last night while picking my sister and her friends up after Wintersalt. She was blasting Skrillex out of her Landrover and asked me how old my kid was. I told her I was picking up my sister. She replied, "Yeah, I'm picking up my sister too!"

I said, "No, I'm waiting for my sister and her friends." She quickly said, "Well, I'm picking up my kid and her friends and maybe I'm picking you up too!" She cackled for two minutes.

Her daughter showed up before my sister did and was incredibly embarrassed by her mom.

lllllllllollllllll.

Well was she hot?

[willy cheesesteak]

I was accosted by a cool mom

last night while picking my sister and her friends up after Wintersalt. She was blasting Skrillex out of her Landrover and asked me how old my kid was. I told her I was picking up my sister. She replied, "Yeah, I'm picking up my sister too!"

I said, "No, I'm waiting for my sister and her friends." She quickly said, "Well, I'm picking up my kid and her friends and maybe I'm picking you up too!" She cackled for two minutes.

Her daughter showed up before my sister did and was incredibly embarrassed by her mom.

lllllllllollllllll.

http://youtu.be/rl6UoYiBp-M?t=5s

Edited December 30, 2012 by willy cheesesteak

[tac0tron]

Being the only person not drunk at a party is fucking awkward.

[akuma no uta]

^^^ this is me way too often because all my friends are lightweights and im a hardcore alcoholic.

also on the same note as friends, im really tired of being the awkward fifth or 7th wheel as all my friends are in relationships and im the only single one around, it makes me feel really out of place and unwelcome usually, and especxially my roommate and his new girlfriend, they try to do thie nice thing of asking me to comr hang out and shit, but then just end up making out and being all over eachother while i sit alone wherever we are, totally fucking awkward man,

[dvzr0]

walking out the door from work yesterday, i made eye contact with a worker at the same time as randomly full-body flinching. we were like 10 feet away from each other.

[sawyer]

Being the only person not drunk at a party is fucking awkward.

i decided to go without drinking for 2012 and i still had a great time at parties.

i could be making a wrong assumption, do you mean that hearing your friends say stupid shit is awkward? i always thought it was funny

[sq4you]

A friend asked me if she could sleep over at my place last night because there was a mouse in her room. I said yes, of course. I have a queen sized bed that's nice and comfy, and she's been a good friend for a long time.

She wants to talk until 4am and also laid in the middle of the bed with a pillow on her other side so she's super close to my face. She thrashed all night like Tina in Bob's Burgers,

and when she finally fell asleep, she rolled over and her mouth was on my hair and I could feel and smell her gross, hot, milky breath penetrating my scalp. Then she started farting.

This morning, she tells me that she would've stayed at her boyfriend's apartment, except he's left to see his parents for the holiday, and oh yeah, she got bit by bed bugs there. I try to stay calm while explaining to her that this may mean that she brought bed bugs into my new apartment and into my new bed and on my new sheets. She leaves my apartment (of course leaving my apartment door wide open in the process), while I'm on my hands and knees frantically searching for bugs and bites and eggs and bed bug poop. I buy $100 worth of bed bug protectants/sprays at Bed Bath and Beyond. I haven't found any bites yet, but everything itches just thinking about the possibility that I am now infested because of my friend's carelessness. She later texts me saying that if it makes me feel any better, I could use a hair dryer to kill the bed bugs.

I'm never letting any person -- man, woman, or otherwise -- into my bed again.

i read this expecting it to end with you effing her in the ass. letdown.

you should go sleep in her bed and then text her the next day saying you forgot to wash your hands after taking a huge dump before bedtime. make sure you roll over in the middle of the night and 'accidentally' put your hands on her face a couple of times too.

[headshots]

text a guy for one day (total of 8 non flirty, non romantic texts), gather that he is an idiot, stop talking.

get inundated by texts asking "what happened what's with the silent treatment i didn't know you were like that i just assumed you'd be better than this i just want closure"

i don't even know this guy's name and he's asking for closure. lol.

[OkayOkay]

^ what the fuck happened to that casual period between meeting someone and getting SUPER FUKING SERIOUS with them. Tell a girl you want to casually date for a while before becoming "exclusive" and they look at you like you're breaking some 40 year marriage to them. I guess same on the other side...

[tween_spirit]

i want to date you

all of you guys

in the super fucking serious way

[scientifick]

visiting one of my best friends and his wife. dude doesn't drink much and we go out for a few drinks and he gets a little loose. dude gambles for a living, a very stressful occupation. it's no secret that his marriage is and has been a bit shaky over the past few years, but i didn't know how shaky it really was. after a few drinks he's basically telling me that he doesn't care if he gets divorced.

currently awake in their guest bedroom listening to them argue, damn... shit sucks

[anno]

from a little while ago, but just remembered today.

There's a dude at my school who I peripherally know and is known for wearing drag and less-than-common clothes on occasion. He's a nice kid, so I say hi when we pass each other around campus.

First day of the semester, I'm walking home and I pass him on my way. He's wearing the whole deal—leather platform buckle boots, black jacket with sleeves cut off, etc. I'm drinking boba tea. I raise my hand to say hi while taking a sip, but right then I suck down a boba unexpectedly. So I choke the same second I look at him and do a minor convulsion. He gives me a "what the fuck man" glare and walks the other way.

Whoops. Good boba tea, though.

[xcrunchx]

His loss because boba tea is good.

[merry burger]

Ugh, almost saw someone die on the 3 train. This belligerent homeless lady kept alternating between nodding off and shouting things like, "Imma fuck you up, you ugly BITCH" to this very obviously foreign tourist family. Then she got up and got in their faces, pointing, and screaming, "OH HELL NO! OH HELLLLL NO! I AIN'T TAKING THIS," and threw open the door and started to ride between the subway cars, holding onto those springy things on each side. From the little window on the door, we all watched as her head ducked lower and lower and lower as she slumped down. She was clearly very close to slipping onto the tracks.

I said in this panicky high voice, "Can someone please help her?" and this burly college kid opened the door, picked her up like a fireman, and put her back into her seat. She flailed her arms and said, "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, GODDAMN YOU SCARED ME, YOU MADE ME PEE," and she just started uncontrollably pissing everywhere.

Glad she didn't die though.

[siam]

[Champion champs]

When one kitchen window looks directly onto my bed, and the other kitchen window looks directly into my bathroom.

[wurm]

not incredibly awkward, but to expand on a detail from the djrajio dating advice thread:

it's winter break and this girl and i had been hanging out. we both have moved out of our hometown so i was staying at her mom's place (she was cool with it). the last night she was in town, for some reason (it involved her dog but i never really understood), we stayed in her 17 yr old sister's room (she was at her dad's). the girl im seeing has to leave at 6:45. we say bye and she gives me the eighth of weed we had bought the previous night. feeling lazy, i just put it in my underwear for the time being. she said one of her sisters would give me a ride home or something. i wanted to sleep since we had been up all night.

around noon her sister comes into the room. she hadn't even known her sister was leaving that day. she says it reeks of weed (body heat must have made the smell emanate a lot), and is also curious why im sleeping in her bed. she's concerned about anything that had gone on. i tell her that her sister was on her period trying to suggest that we didn't have sex. i think she misunderstood what i meant by this but those sheets needed cleaning anyway. i go downstairs to eat something and they seem to be under the impression that my car is there. i didn't want to just straight up ask, but she and her other sister offered me a ride home. it's all good though cause i gave her a nug (i don't really smoke much weed anyway).

[rirawin]

http://youtu.be/q25XFXI3Ovg

Edited January 8, 2013 by rirawin

[funkdoobi]

once I walked into a bathroom and saw a special needs kid standing in one of the stalls pissing, door wide open, pants all the way down. i tried to ignore him and then he turned his head and tried to talk to me.

I had a similar incident. I was on my way home from visiting my girl and just reached the bus station. I really had to take a piss, so I head downstairs from the bus platform to go to the washroom.

As I'm walking into the washroom I see this old chinese man, pants at his ankles and he's pissing from like 5 feet away. He had a solid arch to his piss. I exclaimed, "what the fuck?!" and did a quick 180 walked right out. He didn't even flinch (and I was pretty loud).

I see him finally leave like 20 seconds later (he obviously didn't wash his hands), so I went in and did my business.

Still not believing what I had witnessed, I head upstairs to catch my bus. It arrives, I get on, sit down. And who the fuck sits right across from me? =/

Edited January 9, 2013 by funkdoobi

[Fycus]

did a quick 180 walked right out. He didn't even flinch (and I was pretty loud).

Reminded me of this...

[timber]

tonight I spent a good five minutes petting a neighbourhood cat that was sitting on the hood of a car before realizing that there was a bald dude sitting inside the vehicle.

[denimdestroyedmylife]

^ fapping?

[denimdestroyedmylife]

on the awkward bathroom moments tip, i was washing my hands in a movie theater bathroom when this haitian (possibly) dude said "what i am about to do may shock you" and he uncoiled his dick and washed it in the sink. i didn't stay to find out if he used the air dryer.

i may have posted this before but it just came to mind. i was at a jazz musician's funeral (not sure why that is a relevant point but he played in Sun Ra Arkestra) and after the ceremony i entered the bathroom of the church to take a piss. as i entered, i found that it was only a one-person bathroom and the guy in there was pissing into the bowl. i turned to leave and he invited me to piss with him. i declined and just went outside. i found my friend on the sidewalk talking to someone so i just stood there with him, just dying to tell him what happened (and still dying to piss, actually) when the dude from the bathroom came out and joined the conversation. geeeez. like, i don't know... how was your piss?

[vaguerant]

met B I Z Z Y of superfuture golden era fame at the san mateo whole foods. I couldve posted this in the sf/sj/bay area thread but superawkward is where it belongs.

Edited January 11, 2013 by vaguerant

[dovo]

got caught wearing panties on my head by a middle aged lady walking into the fitting room.

[Nov Spur]

That AA banner always leaves me feeling a delightful mix of slightly embarrassed and turned on at the same time.

[OkayOkay]

Haha Dovo just shut this thread down