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scoki

Superawkward

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not that awkward but this thread needed a bump anyway...

 

     today i was at the library on my laptop and when i got up to leave i stood up and bent over to pick up my bag while raising my back leg up, like a pro golfer picking their ball up out of the hole...for balance!

     Anyway, like a dweeb I didn't look behind me and I somehow managed to raise my leg directly in between the legs of a woman looking through the bookshelf to my rear...I didn't realize what was happening until my leg slowly reached her nether region, at which point we both whipped around (she seemed disgusted) and I, on one leg, bending over, and hopelessly off balance, kind of like tripped over the desk and almost fell on the ground...i peaced the fuck out...

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I got asked by coworkers to go out for a group dinner and drinks. I've done enough of these and made plans to have a dinner date so I passed. Went to the restaurant to meet my dinner date to find my whole team at the same restaurant (and pretty drunk) right at the front table. Had to walk past all of them to get to my table, and they were in plain sight of my date the whole time. lol...

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when you have bad anxiety on a hot day and you're trying to smell your pits to see if you've got BO and you get paranoid someones looking at you so you play it off by wiping your forehead on your bicep a few times or something

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so did someone see you or call you out on it a few times or something...?

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Fear sweat smells different than regular sweat. Represent. 

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I've been playing this little mobile rpg game for month now. Pretty grindy like all phone games but it has an automate feature to lessen the tedium.

So i usually just plug my phone in at work set them to auto and put a tissue or cloth on top of the screen lol.

Today my boss comes over and sets a couple of papers on my desk and it blows the napkin partially off the screen ...

I watch her as she looks at my screen with bright colors and flashes and weird shit for about 2 seconds while still explaining whatever it was that she stopped by for

I just say "ok alright got it" while hoping to god she doesnt make a comment or question. Idk if she understood what she saw. I considered telling her that it was my screen saver in those few seconds but decided to not say anything

I guess it isnt so bad because i'm not even technically playing but yeah it was some awkward stuff

Edited by BRICK DOM

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I was at a open studio and some annoying beardo was getting all excited about the new snap chat update. My buddy wanted to put a emoji on his face, and he asked what emoji he should be. For some reason, the first thing i could think of was White Square. He got all quiet and a felt a little bad. 

Edited by EG562

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???

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i was walking my dog early this morning (5:30 AM) and i was startled by this super old lady covered in a cowl who was standing perfectly still next to the sidewalk. she said "hi baby" to the dog and i told the dog, lamely, "say hi." i was terribly spooked for the next block. in the moonlight, she looked like some kind of witch. 

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I'm waiting on line at the bank when my old umbrella handle suddenly popped high into the air, nearly hitting one of the bank tellers. Everyone stared.

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Would've been better if the security guard shot u

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There are banks in NYC without bulletproof teller windows?

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Girl caught me watching her dog eat our used condom outta the trash. She all mad cause I didn't stop the dog. I didn't wanna touch the condom or her dog

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I knew someone whose dog always ate his masturbatory tissues out of the bin in his bedroom. He developed quite the taste for them. 

Edited by timber

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Would've been better if the security guard shot u

Well this is awkward.

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So there's this security guard that is old enough to be my dad quite possibly grandda (blacks age well) and he's nice. He noticed the slightly little different things with my clothes or shoes which is fine. Didn't really make any remarks out of line. He starts to make a "hug" pose everytime I see him so I kinda don't wanna leave him hanging and go no thanks.

I was on my way out after a coworker and the coworker in front, he gives a high five so I figure I would do the same. So when he finishes high fiving, and sees me, I started to raise my hand to high five and he opens his arms to give me a hug.

So I had to put my arm down and give a hug.

He said bye gorgeous.

If he did this with every other female I would feel somewhat better.

As of now I kind of just want to avoid him because everytime I see him he wants a hug and wants to chat and I don't really know what to chat with him about. So each interaction is a little awkward because I don't know how to exit gracefully.

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what absolute degenerate puts cummy tissues in a bin in their room instead of flushing them down the toilet neway what the fuk

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I had a roommate in college that was a huge player, actually did really well with girls. Long story short he was also pretty careless, we had 10 ppl in our house all move out at the same time so nobody really cleaned up their rooms. The kid left his bed in his room because he was too lazy to take it out after graduation, and when the landlord removed the bed she mentioned finding like 30 nut rags between his bed and the wall hahaha. 

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oURBZUQ.png?1

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black don't crack!

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oURBZUQ.png?1

 

This looks like the x-rated cut of Life is Strange. 

 

3gAtpvQ.jpg?2

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hey, that's my room!

pic for proof:

tumblr_o5zj62LXze1u0ac3wo1_500.jpg

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