ask JJ

[Charlie Delta]

I miss the mental trips....

(here be more sadface emoticons)

[jewbagel]

Dear JJ,

Whats the secret to really good pancakes?

[sidneylo]

dear JJ

last night i went to a hardcore gig, i got hit on more in those 4 hours than i have in my life, should i pretend im into hardcore and attend more gigs to score non feeling involved sexing or would this make me a skank?

tg

insert obligatory “please disclose location of said club venue kthnxbye†posts.

[Charlie Delta]

Dear JJ,

why did you do it?

We could've had such a beautifull thing...

Why did you have to destroy it???

Why.....?

[Charlie Delta]

I might have found a picture of you when you were little.

Please don't hate me for sharing this with the rest of the internets...

[junglejane]

yes!! that was when my neon bajingo started to glow!!

I remember well...it was just like turning on a neon sign. blinking at first, and then glowing with an unparalleled splendor...

[Guest jmatsu]

dearest jj,

where was hiphop really born?

[mrip]

i like the new cookie monster avatar

he looks abused

[junglejane]

dearest jj,

where was hiphop really born?

wasn't that crack babby born in africa and brought to america?

fighting on arrival, fighting for survival?

[Guest jmatsu]

jj,

i found these on sale from an outta the way source in a fuckin size 40 (for less than half). should i go through the trouble of buying and reselling? or does this shoe get no big-woMAN love?

[salaryman]

Dear JJ,

Proper one night stand etiquette usually demands a girl to take the walk of shame as early in the morning as possible...right? What do you do when the girl sticks around awkwardly like we're going to bed bath and beyond together later?

Bonus points if your advice doesn't kill the chances of hooking up again.

Also....

he claims her pussy stinks like the sewers of hell...how can he point this out w/o coming off too rude? if it were me, i'd be like "bitch you fine, your bj is stellar, but your pie be rank."

for guys' future ref, is there some kinda medicine that we can make girls drink to improve the scent of their stuffs?

Wicked late, but eating fruit makes the crevasse nice and aromatic. Strawberries are like pussy magic. Force feed her barrels of them for days.

For dudes, drink pineapple juice. See swallow rates increase. Saw it on TV, must be true.

[geekbonchic]

Dear JJ,

Does size really matter?

[junglejane]

jj,

i found these on sale from an outta the way source in a fuckin size 40 (for less than half). should i go through the trouble of buying and reselling? or does this shoe get no big-woMAN love?

this shoe is the holy grail of holy grails. COP DIS SHIZ NOW! it is on fiyah and someone will definitely buy it. that someone might be me, even.

[junglejane]

Dear JJ,

Proper one night stand etiquette usually demands a girl to take the walk of shame as early in the morning as possible...right? What do you do when the girl sticks around awkwardly like we're going to bed bath and beyond together later?

Bonus points if your advice doesn't kill the chances of hooking up again.

Also....

Wicked late, but eating fruit makes the crevasse nice and aromatic. Strawberries are like pussy magic. Force feed her barrels of them for days.

For dudes, drink pineapple juice. See swallow rates increase. Saw it on TV, must be true.

yes, that girl should've been out of there pronto. sticking around in the morning and having coffee is ok, but that's it. say something neutral that's not asshole-speak but don't give her false promises. like, "hey, I have to meet up with/do something at/have an appointment/whatever so I gotta jet, sorry about that. I had a great time last night, I'll defninitely call you so we can hang out again soon. you start getting ready to go out. if she gets mad or whatever she's crazy and does not know how to 'do' one night stands.

[junglejane]

Dear JJ,

Does size really matter?

yes. but it's not like girls are extremely picky. just be sure you don't present yourself to sexy time with a pencil peepee.

[Charlie Delta]

Dear JJ,

I can't stop sniffing my fingers, after... you know...

Is this considered vulgar?

Thanks,

You'r greatest fan.

[ProfMonnitoff]

dear jj,

sex is kind of disgusting

can we please talk about something else?

[Charlie Delta]

She has to answer my question first...

[Pandemonium]

dear jj,

i haven't writ here for a while so i'll write here now.

you have a choice between five oranges and three bananas.

which one?

[ProfMonnitoff]

sorry i didnt mean to hate on your 5000th post

[Charlie Delta]

Dear JJ, please answer my question.

I brought you a bouquet of the finest kittens I could find:

[Pandemonium]

dear cotton duck,

how many questions are you going to ask before JJ replies?

[Charlie Delta]

Is this a challenge to a fight to the death?

[Pandemonium]

no, i am merely the messenger. i heed thee to calm the fuck down and eat the fuckin picked pork feet.

[junglejane]

mr duck, that finger sniffing shiz is kinda vulgar in my book (it reminds me of bro-movies when frat boys pass their fingers around for the other guys to smell, high-fiving themselves after) but as long as you do it in the privacy of your own...privacy, it's all good.

and thank you for the kittens!! awww!!

Pandemonion, can you chop up the oranges and bananas and put them in a bowl? or is that not an option?

[Pandemonium]

well you can take the orange or banana or nothing but only one.

if u take orange then they will be made into small square and without any skin or veiny thing

if you take banana then they will be made into small sphere and without any skin or veiny thing

if you take neither then you have to eat a cake by yourself.

[junglejane]

can I eat the cake made of orange cubes and banana spfheres?

vote

[Charlie Delta]

But it smells so good... edit: Butterscotch ofcourse!

And it´s just for me, am not sharing, and no one can see...

?

[Pandemonium]

the cake is made of chocolate. wouldn't taste good with orange and apple but ok.

[inaya]

Dear JJ,

Upon opening your mail in the elevator, a most unexpected laughter occured in the prescence of strangers. How will you help me gain back the small bit of humility that I lost that day?

Also, will you be my e-girlfran?