Superawkward

[gettoasty]

so the first time my co-worker asked me do i like porno, which pornstar, etc. i took it as though he mis-pronounced or was thinking about something else as he has bit of an accent being from malaysia. it was kind of weird because i love porn but of course i don't let anyone know.

so today we had some down time and he was telling me about his new house, the remodeling, and how he was trying to find a way to put up his projecter and screen (i assumed in lieu of an actual tv). I said that was cool and he immediately invites me to come over and said "we could watch porn! how awesome is that?" and this whole time i was walking away, sort of walking beside him down our office hallways and was thinking "wthhhh lol"

this guy is for real. truth be told he is a pretty funny dude always joking around. bit of a smartass humor.

Edited September 14, 2012 by gettoasty

[OkayOkay]

So I'm at a birthday party for a classmate of my 4 year old. Here now still. It's ridiculously lavish and extremely suburban, and Disney Princess themed. It's super over the top, and you can tell the parents went apeshit planning and executing this thing. It's actually been decent enough, even tho I don't know anyone here and the inside of the house is painted with "Christ is Our Savior" quotes, but still...for the kids, fun enough. So they bring everyone inside for a magic show, and the "magician/clown" at this party ends up being a paid chic fil a employee, and stopped the show to do a cfa commercial telling the kids how awesome it is and why they should eat there, then did the rest of the show with cfa props. Shit was mad awkward and bizarre, and a handful of the parents start clapping and chanting "Chic-Fil-A Chic-Fil-A!" and trying to get the kids to go along with it. My kid looks up at me with this confused look and I'm just like "oh hell nah". He has no idea what's going on, but he didn't participate and I'm way proud. What the fuck man, where am I? Hahahahaa this shit is weird.

[sawyer]

So I'm at a birthday party for a classmate of my 4 year old. Here now still. It's ridiculously lavish and extremely suburban, and Disney Princess themed. It's super over the top, and you can tell the parents went apeshit planning and executing this thing. It's actually been decent enough, even tho I don't know anyone here and the inside of the house is painted with "Christ is Our Savior" quotes, but still...for the kids, fun enough. So they bring everyone inside for a magic show, and the "magician/clown" at this party ends up being a paid chic fil a employee, and stopped the show to do a cfa commercial telling the kids how awesome it is and why they should eat there, then did the rest of the show with cfa props. Shit was mad awkward and bizarre, and a handful of the parents start clapping and chanting "Chic-Fil-A Chic-Fil-A!" and trying to get the kids to go along with it. My kid looks up at me with this confused look and I'm just like "oh hell nah". He has no idea what's going on, but he didn't participate and I'm way proud. What the fuck man, where am I? Hahahahaa this shit is weird.

i looked at some of the facebook comments on chick fil a's page awhile ago and there is some pretty crazy stuff on there. a lot of people in the US think that there is a "homosexual agenda" designed to subvert the christianity and the US (the two are one in the same, of course), and now some people think chick fil a's success is due to "god's grace" and so whenever they eat there they are like imagining they are supporting god in the greater struggle against gays and liberals (read: socialist)

really, look this shit up on conservapedia if you don't believe me, this is top priority in a lot of people's minds

i mean wow

[vunilla]

today i bumped into a pole while i was running to class while doing some last minute cramming and then immediately after i said ‘sorry’. realized i was talking to a metal pole and pretended nothing happened lol.

Edited September 20, 2012 by vunilla

[andrewisdope]

Got a haircut during my lunch break at work. Went into the bathroom to take off my shirt so I could shake all the extra hair off my head and body. Gay supervisor came in. Couldn't tell if he was disapproving or checking me out.

[funkdoobi]

man in other awkward bathroom notes, nothing like standing up to pull up your pants and making eye contact with someone over the stall walls

I know this too well. Being tall is both a blessing and a curse.

[the hall of vame]

go into the bathroom at school (high school) with a teacher's aid standing outside the door n lets me in... get inside to find a special needs kid literally pulling his shit out of his ass, (guess thats how he went to the bathroom so they normally dont let anyone in when he goes) kid would always walk in the halls giving out high fives. always went for the elbow bump after that.

[trevorplease]

don't they fucking teach him that it's wrong instead of just watching wtf?

[pepper davies]

On the B9 hardcore forums there was a thread for hard drugs users. Read about some dudes that had to pull the shit out of their asses as the drugs led to some brick like shits that couldn't be passed otherwise... Dare should be talking about that...

[robbie]

People always seem to be grunting or moaning loudly during their shits when I have the misfortune of having to use a public toilet. I always want to yell, get some fiber!

[the hall of vame]

right, like, you never heard of grape nuts cereal before?

[fads]

why didn't you climb a tree instead and ruin your pants

[jennitalia]

I was taking the bus home from work and it was super crowded. It suddenly stopped and jerked everyone forward. I stepped on this tiny little Indian lady's foot (she was at least a foot shorter than me). I felt bad so I said sorry and without thinking patted her on the head as I apologized.

[freecat]

So I was in Vietnam earlier this month on vacation and they have this nightmarket in Hanoi which is tbh pretty shit, it's like 2km of a crowded street with knock-off tshirts and stuffs you don't want to buy. But I decide to go all the way and then back because it was still a bit early to hit the street bars. So I grab one of those lemon juice drinks while walking and drink it rather quickly and realise I have never seen a trash can in this neighbourhood, people just throw trash in the street and someone picks it up.

So I think, oh well I'll do it like the locals right. I had been walking for 15 minutes with an empty plastic cup. So I gently dispose of it on the ground and walk away like I didn't do it. And then I hear some shouting in Vietnamese and turn back. The women was actually shouting at me for doing what I did. I picked up my plastic cup and waited for 15 more minutes or so to find a trash container.

Damn.

[ojsimpson]

I know this too well. Being tall is both a blessing and a curse.

nah all blessing

[playdisonlyatnight]

this got IRL awkward

Edited October 2, 2012 by playdisonlyatnight

[merry burger]

I stepped on the electronic scale at the gym the other day, and after the abysmal number indicating my purported weight flashed on the little screen, the scale proceeded to loudly make a "CHOO-CHOOOO" noise. Like a legit train noise.

As I stood there, stunned, wondering what the fuck kind of cruel scale would toot at me, I realized it was just a text alert coming from someone's iPhone charging next to my feet. I for real wanted to blow my brains out momentarily though.

[boy better know]

~~~~

Edited October 3, 2012 by boy better know

[e0d9n0b5]

yooooooo

[scientifick]

dont you like blowjobs

[t3hcoke]

when i went to sf uniqlo and some guy tried cutting in front of me at the register and i yelled MEET ME OUTSIDE UNIQLO.

he was like

[e0d9n0b5]

ahahahahaha

[wrong_move]

accidentally started watching porn while connected to my school's VPN.

[lorem3k]

some guy in one of my classes who I don't really know ran his hand through my hair and winked at me.

[mr fluffernutter]

object of desire

[wahwho11]

how well do you have to know a guy to be okay with him running his hands through your hair and wink at you.

[lorem3k]

how well do you have to know a guy to be okay with him running his hands through your hair and wink at you.

we have to at least be mutual friends

[OkayOkay]

I'd honestly be less concerned with the weirdness of him running his hand through my hair, and more concerned about my hair being fucked up afterwards.

[lorem3k]

I'd honestly be less concerned with the weirdness of him running his hand through my hair, and more concerned about my hair being fucked up afterwards.

i was more concerned about that too, but it was still pretty weird. he's pretty good looking though (no homo) so maybe it'd be different if he were ugly

[lmk1995]

We're having a party at our place this weekend. I was going through facebook inviting everyone to the facebook event from the area. mindlessly invited my roommates ex girlfriend. his new girl from another school is visiting this weekend. fuuuuuuuu