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Charlie Delta

Do you let fat people use the airplane?

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I flew an airplane this past weekend and one of my guests was this 400lb dude, he's my buddy's cousin and a really great guy. But then..... I saw him get up (he needs assistance) and walk toward the airplane. I was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh FUCK.

Usually when I have fat guests I go to the airplane and hide all the seats, then I tell them they can't go in there because I'm out of seats. Couldn't think of an excuse at a party though :(.

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i sat next to a fat dude on my taipei flight. i didn't really give a shit, but the petite woman on his other side was obviouslyhorrified when she walked up in the aisle. anyway when we started cruising the guy challenges me to a game of streetfighter on the backseat entertainment systems. i'm pretty sure that dude just stayed on planes all his life perfecting the laggy street fighter techniques and eating plastic plane food, cause he kicked my ass for like 2 hours straight. every loss I had to drink a cup of beer, i was damn right plastered after a few hours. it was probably one of the better flying experiences i've had. airways need more fat dudes on planes that play sf with you, one on every row. but they gotta put one on each side in alternating rows to make sure the plane doesn't tip and shit, yknow.

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^haha, that's a great story.

I had to sit next to a guy once who was so big that he was overflowing over the armrest and into my seat area. He gave me an embarrassed look and offered me chocolate.

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i once had the good fortune of sitting next to a contestant of THE BIGGEST LOSER on a cross country flight (coast to coast, USA!). the woman was around 400 pounds (i am guessing) and we had to switch seats because the window seat was cutting off her circulation. long story short, it was very cuddly and warm. as soon as i got over the initial awkwardness of being pressed against her soft flesh it turned out to be one of the most comfortable flights ever!!! A++++++++ would do again!

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I flew across the Atlantic with my carry-on bag shoved under my feet, sitting next to some smelly Arab who obviously hadn't heard of "deodorant"

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The last plane flight usage with large dude, Hurley, we crash landed on an island. I have been making pants and hooking up with this girl Kate. We are really lost.

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studies show that if the plane goes down, best possible place to be would be wedged in between 2 fat guys because the fatness absorbs the impact and you'll most likely survive

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I think skinny people should get compensated by bonus check-baggage weight. Or charge fat people more. Or don't offer them meals.

fat tax

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I took a flight last year and sat next to a fat woman.

A common occurence in the US.

but the funny thing was that she had to get a seat belt extender.

as we approached the runway and started taxiing, she wasn't wearing a seat belt and i was like "hmmm?"

she calls up a CA and says embarrasingly, "can i get an extender"

i was like lulz

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I think skinny people should get compensated by bonus check-baggage weight. Or charge fat people more. Or don't offer them meals.

fat tax

Second that motion.

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The last plane flight usage with large dude, Hurley, we crash landed on an island. I have been making pants and hooking up with this girl Kate. We are really lost.

hahahaha great show

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Aside from the obvious political incorrectness and humiliation that larger-than-average people would suffer regarding the whole fat-tax issue, I do believe that many feel the same way.

I mean... how is it that a 150kg woman gets to carry the same amount of baggage onboard as a 70kg guy. Shit's ridiculous.

While I do agree that it can be kinda stupid sometimes, it'd be monumentally difficult to determine a good average weight etc.

Slightly off topic, but I'll never forget a flight I took where I had to use the washroom so urgently that I'm standing outside holding onto my nuts and hopping around when the door finally opens and this 50 year old Indian lady walks out of the toilet. I rush the fuck in and suddenly the smell hits me. It's totally noxious and breathing's fucking difficult.

So I look up to see if maybe, just maybe, there are ventilation fans in the ceiling. Nope.

What I do see, however, are those little wads of wet tissue stuck to the roof. Similar to spitballs. But on a huge scale. And they're falling off the ceiling.

Worst airplane toilet experience EVER.

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I think skinny people should get compensated by bonus check-baggage weight. Or charge fat people more. Or don't offer them meals.

fat tax

Sounds good! And short people should get less legroom. They don't need it, and bruises on my knees give the wrong impression!

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I caught Monetzuma's Revenge coming back from Mexico one time and shit about 15 times from airport to airport... I got so bored with shitting every two seconds that I eventually just hung out by the shitter, managed to take apart 3 of the interior compartments and found disposalable razors in one of the locked ones??? go fig? made the smell inside all my own, and usually walked out with the satisfaction of knowing that I had just nuked the toilet again... that is until this really hot girl was waiting after me one time and shot me the nastiest look for what I had done in there. I just smiled and said that I had the fish instead of the chicken and it wasn't agreeing with me.........

I've only sat next to a fat dude once and I fought that fucker the whole way for armrest control. rather amusing that I never said a word to him the entire flight just kept nudging his arm off.

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lulz.......

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my last singapore-melbourne flight i sat next to this really fat woman, and she asked me if she can finish my cake (which i didnt eat) and my fruit salad (which was half eaten).. i got a window seat and she got the center seat, and cos shes a heavy sleeper i couldnt go to the toilet during the flight.. god..

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I don't give a crap.... what I can't stand is smelly people... seriously... imagine being in a 12 hours flight sitting next to a person with strong body odour... then you'd be thankful that you've got "fat" people on board instead...

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I've sat next to a really really old man on a Rome-NY flight - he smelled like death, like his internal organs were just rotting away. I came really close to yakking it up few times.

Another complaint I have about flying is that I never ever get seated next to an attractive female - I wonder if they are assigning me seats next to old people because I seem like a chump who would help them with their bags, put up with their terrible stories...or is it because I look scuzzy and may grope hot strangers sitting next to me?

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the only time that I got sat next to an attractive female was on my way back to seoul from shanghai. bitch even let me use her cell phone the moment we landed in incheon to book a last-minute reservation for a place to stay, and she made the reservation for me in korean too (which landed me a discount). I should pull up her email again.

thanks for reminding me.

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when i went to hawaii, i sat next to a fat guy, im fat but this guy was really fat. the seat was snug and i was trapped next to this guy, hate window seats. the thing that pissed me off was that he fell asleep holding his drink and spilled it on me.

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Flying by from Pierre, South Dakota to Reagan, I sat next to a "cow girl" telling me how she wishes she was Scajawea and was with Louis and Clark.

The flight was actually from Minneapolis to Reagan, but jesus fuck it was so bad. And to hear her talk about how amazing it is you can watch videos on a laptop.

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Fatties should pay double.

southwest air used to make fat people buy two seats, and they got sued

comedian jim norton's take on the law suit: "you don't think you should pay for two seats? well i don't think i should be uncomfortable for 4 hours because you repressed childhood rape memories with pure fat and carbohydrates"

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best thread in a while....

sat next to a fatty on the bus once and it was summer, her FAT legs and FAT arms were rubbing against my legs and upper body....

there were a lot of free seats on the bus but she had to sit next to me coz it was closest to the exit...FUUUCK!

when i did my social work i had to take care of a really fat women. she was so fat she couldnt get up...means she sat there on her fucking bed all day watching tv and i had to clean her appartement.

whenever i had to get her stuff from the grocery store i felt like powdering her gummy bears with rat poison.

fat people should be banned to "FatPeopleIsland"

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shit, i wish they wouldn't serve fucking curry on the flight to japan. fucking 14 hours of recycled-curry-air. goddamn disgusting. then imagine unexpectedly meeting your girlfriend's father for the first time upon landing. shit is not cool.

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