Worst Blackout Moments

[Guest DUM]

That's pretty cool, Thorns.

But as with any threads of this sort, Larry Bird smashed it to pieces.

[Bona Drag]

so we went backstage and borrowed mermaid costumes, then jumped in the aquarium

TITTIES OUT??!?!?!?!?

sry iz druunk

[insomaniac]

whenever my guy friends tell me they blacked out, i put on my saddest face and ask him if he remembers making sweet sweet love to me that night.

i enjoy their reactions.

[NESK]

i nominate larry bird for junkie christ award.

heroin and xanax has to be surreal high there is.

[seemeugly]

whenever my guy friends tell me they blacked out, i put on my saddest face and ask him if he remembers making sweet sweet love to me that night.

i enjoy their reactions.

Man, that is the most brutal shit.

[Thorns]

I feel like we should limit black out to specifically alcohol related instances. When I was on fentanol there are long stretches of time that I don't remember and it simply wasn't fun at all.

[broneck]

someone read this, i dont think i even wrote anything this long for school, and i was in english

i wasn't blackout drunk but...

when i was in 2nd year i was making out with this girl, and as if progressed she indicated that she wanted to see what my bed looked like. so we went up to my room, and continued our little sesh my duvet. this girl kept trying to get me to fuck her, was essentially begging me for it, but i had a girlfriend at the time and apparently my moral's were only stretching so far. so instead, she opened up her jeans and started fingering herself right there in front of me, and pulling my hips towards her (presumably so it would be like i was drilling her...with a very slim penis).

I kindof have a thing for girls masturbating, so I promptly left before my cool was totally lost, and i went and splashed my face to calm the fuck down. When i came back into my room this bitch was bawling her ass off, just inconsolable. i closed the door, and went to see what the fuck was the matter.

she started screaming and moaning about some dude named cliff who didn't love her, and then went off about how no one (not even I) wanted to fuck her, just weeping like that drunk weepy girl we all know. I guess by this point her friends figured out where we were, and they came up POUNDING on the door, "What the fuck are you doing? open the door right fucking now!!" freaking out on me.

So me, being drunk and not really thinking, opened the door for them. The pushed me out of the way and were just like "What the fuck did you do to her you asshole?!?" (me not making the connection between their anger and the sobbing chick with her pants halfway down).

They dragged her off and i forgot her name and pretty much stopped thinking about it.

Then like a month later some guys in suits came to my door, and I panicked because I thought they were looking for my roomie who was a drug dealer. But no, they asked for me by name, and i showed them into the living room. They were detectives investigating the sexual assault that I had apparently commited on this young girl.

The chick was so drunk she had no idea what happened, she just woke up to her friends freaking out, and they had already told their dorm supervisors that she'd been raped that night. She couldn't remember if she had or not, so she went with it.

FUCK THAT.

ps. no charges were laid after I told them my half of the story.

[Charged]

One time, I was with some friends kickin it at a friends house. Got hella drunk and they needed to leave. They drove themselves home in my car (with me in it) and then fuckin left the car parked infront of their house and expected me to fucking get home by myself. I wound up driving back to where I was (barely made it). Got out, went in the house, took a piss, went in the dudes bedroom, said 3-4 words to him, then collapsed on his bed. Nothing really, but then I woke up to find him and a girl having sex damn near on top of me. Shit was funny/gay

[naturaljax]

I'd like to bump this and update with terrible things I've done.

1. the worst ever. This New Year's Eve, the DAY I got back from Tokyo, I went to a few parties, got so blackout drunk that I stumbled alone in the middle of the night about a mile where I was hit by a car trying to cross the street. The car drove off and I came too on the side of the road unable to stand up with my jeans soaking wet. I blew a .2 on the breathalizer (what...) and had a compound fracture of my tibia and a fractured fibula. That's by far the worst.

2. Various peeing incidents. Once sleepwalked (presumably) into my friend's room which I thought was the bathroom and proceeded to pee directly into his trashcan. I regained conciousness to "What the fuck?!" and had no explanation as to why I was there. Ended up just taking the trash out and falling back to sleep. Didn't even miss a drop.

2b. Sleepwalked in the direction of the bathroom, missed the door by about 2 feet and walked into my friend's kitchen and proceeded to pee all over his stove. Apparently that stunk the next day.

Don't ever let me get blackout drunk around you.

[PaperSt.]

Reminds me of an old roommate who woke up to our other roommate pissing on the foot of his bed in a incoherent state after a long night of drinking, those two didn't talk to each other for a few weeks after that party.

[Dead_Wizard]

Worst I've done is wake up with blood all over my hands, pants, and shirt. Had a gigantic gash across my hand and my elbow looked like I had a electric sander taken to it. Crazy thing is none of my friends remembered how/when it happened. My theory is that I fell into a window or something going up my back steps after getting dropped off.

It wasn't a total loss though, I did learn that hydrogen peroxide does a gangster job of getting blood stains out.

My dad really set the bar high for blackout insanity though. One night he got drunk at a bar about 3 blocks from his house. Wakes up in his car on a small airports tarmac, chunks of the fence embedded in his bumper, with no fucking clue how he got there (this was back in the 70's). Airport was about 30 miles away from his house and he had no fucking clue how to get home.

His theory is that he blacked out, fell asleep in the back seat, car got stolen, guy takes car for joy ride.

[Appleseed]

My dad really set the bar high for blackout insanity though. One night he got drunk at a bar about 3 blocks from his house. Wakes up in his car on a small airports tarmac, chunks of the fence embedded in his bumper, with no fucking clue how he got there (this was back in the 70's). Airport was about 30 miles away from his house and he had no fucking clue how to get home.

His theory is that he blacked out, fell asleep in the back seat, car got stolen, guy takes car for joy ride.

If legit, that's pretty wild. I dun really black out, just start vomiting.

[TransparentCranium]

I have a dad blackout story. In the 70's: blacks out in the back of his car rolled up in a blanket. Two friends in the front crash his car into a telephone pole. He somehow gets slung out of the car against the pole and ends up with a only a few broken ribs.

[dismalfuture]

ive only ever blacked out six or seven times a week

I borrowed this for self-pertinence. My friends and I call this period 'the good days' as well, so i dunno. I will find my story about where I woke up near a red light district with a stick of yakitori, a beer with the neck broke off, and a broken condom on my knob and put it here.

[LeatherSeatBelt]

before i blacked out at a party i was starting fights everywhere. i almost got in 6 seperate fights but my friend bailed me out of everyone of them. i was then strapped down to a chair and when i broke loose i went to a wall and knocked out. the shitty part about it was i knocked out in the pissing section. i woke up partially naked the next day with barf all over my top and on my sammies.

the scary part was when i woke up my redmoon wallet and phone was gone. but in the end my friend had it and was fucking with me. he told me everyone raided my body after i passed out but he got everything back.

[salaryman]

........................

[jane]

^if you aren't full of shit, i applaud you.

I don't remember any crazy blackouts but one of my most surreal alcohol experiences was when me and my friends ended up befriending the owner of this high end club in Acapulco. there was a HUGE aquarium complete with mermaids and mermen swimming around, so we went backstage and borrowed mermaid costumes, then jumped in the aquarium. SO COOL

mermaid costumes?

can i party with you? a party of the janes?

mmm i don't know if i've ever blacked out, there are memory lapses but not much has happened, except one night my gf (no homo) and i were at a pub and somehow this gay architect who was all coked up and too drunk to walk convinced us we had to see his house and meet his friends, i guess i was too drunk to object at that point so i went and it was like a palace fortress with a pool and fountains and a view of the entire city and i stayed there for a few hours doing god knows what...my friend ended up making out with some middle aged dude and i didnt stop her and i still feel kinda bad, i only remember playing charades in a wine cellar, the gay dude smashing a bong, and dancing to al green.

[Bona Drag]

can i party with you? a party of the janes?

would pay mad $$$ to attend

(no homo)

crazy story tho

[idrawdinosaurs]

Adored this chick that was down with hip hop, and since I was one of those hip hop junkies she was a queen to me. I'd see her at shows with black dudes that spit hot fire and always had the good kush, and obviously not from UCSD.

ANYWAYS...

My friends and I threw a party on campus apartment and she came through, totally unannounced, but a pleasent surprise. Being the huge pussy that I am I just took shots of Crown, slapped my stomach, and admired her from a distance.

Woke up the next morning with my room mate with a citation with my name on it.

Apparently she left the party to go back to her dorm. And being the sick and drunk fuck that I am I strapped on my rollerblades and stalked her. I was following her about 15 feets back, and my friends were about 15 feet back of me either looking for a laugh or waiting for me to fall, both were very likely. She caught wind of a tall lanky kid following her in rollerblades and called campus police.

The lesson is that nothing good ever comes from rollerblades.

[alexryb]

Only time I've blacked out for more a prolonged

period of time was last summer, in the backseat of this kid's car.

I called (almost) everyone on my cellphone & spoke

horrible, horrible French to them..

To top it all off, I had been drinking Black Velvet. Ugh.

Well, I guess there was this one other time I don't remember driving home & woke up still drunk the next day. Best day of work ever.

[Scais]

[jordanelias]

The one time I blacked out, I celebrated wildly as I peed successfully, almost fought my best friend and, on another note, nearly drowned in the Mediterranean Sea.

Good times.

[projectdenim]

For my 19th I was so retarded/wasted, I punched out some asshole who was pouring beer down my co-workers back. Was about to leave and got socked right in the gut by one of the bouncers. Somehow made it outside and vomitted through my nostrils and then my mouth and then my nostrils again.

The rest, I don't recall.

[projectdenim]

^ I was about ready to challenge you to show off how much liquor I can handle and then I realized who you were and your size. ):

[mr fluffernutter]

CLONECK, DEVOURER OF KEGS.

[DüM]

strangely nothing crazy happens when I black out at home (doesn't happen to often really) just me being stupid at denny's or something but during the SE party apparently we all danced at the hostel, hopefully I was breaking necks with whatever the fuck i was doing...but worst of all I missed totally epic getting TEKTONIC as fuck. and my stomach was fucked up the next day because I took shots of realmexicanpeople salsa.

I am such a bitch with hangovers though, but junglejane gave me a hug before I left to nap.

[mrip]

totally tektonic

[B-Dawg]

peeing seems to be heavily involved here. for me, i peed out of a 2nd story dorm window freshman year, according to my friends... i don't remember what i drank. on my 21st b day i drank a horrible combo of mixed drinks, shotgunned a natty ice, and pounded a bomber of stone russian imperial stout. that night my girlfriend said i got up and she asked if i needed help, cause i was smashed, i said no, and then started to pee on my bureau. she yelled and apparently i stopped and went to the bathroom to finish the deed...

[alexryb]

Wait.

You were drunk, started urinating,

& then actually stopped on command?!

Daaaamn,

yr prostate must be gold.

Once I start pouring that shit out, it's a free-for-all.

[cheep]

hmm...

tampa... last thing i remember was getting grabbed inside of a club and taken to the street, and getting the band ripped off of my arm. next thing, its 7 am and im at least 200 blocks from where i should have been. in the fucking ghetto. with no money. my ex wife also called me later that day and was pissed because she thought she was coming up to get me so i would hang out with her for the weekend and forget about the contest at the skate park. i also had recent calls to 3 girls i know, none of which were my girlfriend.