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Posted

^ good shit jmat. haha.

also hate when you hold your piss so long and you finally go and then have to kinda go for hours. i call it pee-a-rhea. happens to me when i sleep in and i'm too lazy to get up.

my friend gary is like 40 and has 2 kids and still blacks out drunk like twice a year. last time, he hosed off his wife's closet thinking he was in the bathroom.

Posted
i hate those moments when you realize you are sort of repulsed by someone you used to care about

didn't realize what a self-absorbed baby my ex-not-bf was until i thought about how everytime we talked, he just talked about himself and the pretentious shit he was into

btw, get a real job....stop wasting money on lame tattoos...

i agree. tattoos<jawns.

Posted

my wife has the lamest fucking tattoo ever. a ying yang on her upper back that she got when she was 17. b etter than a tramp stamp i suppose.

i've always wanted one but never got one cause i'm too transient and in like 6 months, i would try and scratch it off.

Posted
^ good shit jmat. haha.

also hate when you hold your piss so long and you finally go and then have to kinda go for hours. i call it pee-a-rhea. happens to me when i sleep in and i'm too lazy to get up.

my friend gary is like 40 and has 2 kids and still blacks out drunk like twice a year. last time, he hosed off his wife's closet thinking he was in the bathroom.

since I got back from Europe I've been drinking tons of tap water because it's so delicious by comparison and I know exactly what you're talking about. taking a leak 5 times an afternoon kinda sucks though.

Posted
^ good shit jmat. haha.

also hate when you hold your piss so long and you finally go and then have to kinda go for hours. i call it pee-a-rhea. happens to me when i sleep in and i'm too lazy to get up.

my friend gary is like 40 and has 2 kids and still blacks out drunk like twice a year. last time, he hosed off his wife's closet thinking he was in the bathroom.

westside told me that he once peed in some bitches bunghole. wishful sentiments.

is that shit even possible?? there were times i had the opportunity, but i just physically couldn't. i went to international school and this one german kid asked the teacher during sex ed lecture if it is possible to pee whilst in the act of fucking. teacher said no.

i wanna believe this cause it wasnt possible for me, yet i r confused cause when i wake up with the morning wood i can piss okay (though it takes a long time to get started and i gotta piss while sitting on the pot)....maybe its because i been holding it for like 9 hours. so which is it?

Posted

If i got a tattoo, it'd be small and something goofy. I hate those guys with serious tattoos with deep meanings. I'd probably get something silly and centered around my youth.

http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A61224/high/bmepb418584.jpg

I dunno about the peeing while fucking thing. I remember having sex a couple times where i really really had to piss but everything started up before i had time to go. I kinda just wanted to get it over with so i could go pee as i couldn't even enjoy the sex. I was afraid i was gonna pee in her but i didn't. Then i had to wait a few minutes afterwards to be able to pee. Sucked...

Posted

when i have morning wood i piss all over like a fucking laser light show.

i don't think you can piss in a vag or asshole while stroking. after finishing maybe. i think the piss valve shuts off when you're in cum mode. not sure. god knows i've tried like hell.

gotta pee after fucking though to avoid urinary track infections.

Posted

he's getting a "black arm" of these cartoons of an artist he likes....who also happens to be his neighbor..

dudes been in art school for way too long and gets by on odd jobs...right now its a furniture store and painting a mural in someones house...

i would die before i got a tattoo

maybe it'd be cool for one day, to go with ONE OUTFIT

but the rest of the time it would just ruin all of your outfits and then in five years you realize you are too old for your tattoo and you look stupid

Posted
when i have morning wood i piss all over like a fucking laser light show.

i don't think you can piss in a vag or asshole while stroking. after finishing maybe. i think the piss valve shuts off when you're in cum mode. not sure. god knows i've tried like hell.

gotta pee after fucking though to avoid urinary track infections.

great and obvious observation. dont know why i didnt think of it. maybe i just wanted to hold on to the hope.

Posted

my friend is a big biz exec now and has prison-quality tatoos of a star and a pixie between her tits that her 30 year old puerto rican boyfriend gave her when she was 15, the day after he got out of jail. might be time for removal.

Posted
when i have morning wood i piss all over like a fucking laser light show.

i don't think you can piss in a vag or asshole while stroking. after finishing maybe. i think the piss valve shuts off when you're in cum mode. not sure. god knows i've tried like hell.

gotta pee after fucking though to avoid urinary track infections.

you can prevent laser light show if you bend at the knees and aim at the water

Posted

I don't think i'd like to see a tattoo between the tits like that. Seems a bit distracting and makes me think the tits wouldn't be as soft as i'd hope.' I'd only get a small tattoo in some place people wouldn't really see it.

My friends and i went to this river/spring to float down and drink this past spring and beforehand we went to this vending machine that had temp tattoos and got a bunch of goofy ass asian dragons and shit all over.

Too lazy to go to bars/parties tonight. Just made myself a white russian and i'm just gonna chill and watch whatever bullshit is on tv.

Posted

i like japanese organized crime tattoo. very beautiful. i wouldnt get any tattoo tho.

Posted

^ thanks, but i've tried it. sometimes i arch my back and stand in the doorway but it still flies around. if my wife loved me like she says she'd suck it off at 7 every morning and help me avoid this problem.

Posted

Kunk- for post sex peeing, i used to jump in the shower, rinse off and pee there. a lot easier

Also, when i had my appendix out like 6 years ago, the anesthetics fucked my peeing up. The next day when i was out of the hospital and peeing, it started sputtering mid flow and made a weird noise. It was scary as fuck to pee for that first day.

Posted

when i was single, i was on a cunt hunt every night. could never enjoy a night out with my male friends. now i can, though. i even feel better about wanking it as a married man, knowing there is a real live vagina in the next room.

I don't think i'd like to see a tattoo between the tits like that. Seems a bit distracting and makes me think the tits wouldn't be as soft as i'd hope.' I'd only get a small tattoo in some place people wouldn't really see it.

My friends and i went to this river/spring to float down and drink this past spring and beforehand we went to this vending machine that had temp tattoos and got a bunch of goofy ass asian dragons and shit all over.

Too lazy to go to bars/parties tonight. Just made myself a white russian and i'm just gonna chill and watch whatever bullshit is on tv.

Posted
i think the piss valve shuts off when you're in cum mode. not sure. god knows i've tried like hell.

I'm almost positive this is true. I can almost hear my 7th grade sex-ed teacher saying something along those lines while an entire class of boys snicker like retards.

Posted

nah, i'm cut and i shower at night after the gym. can't be too bad. they don't take as much off these days though. my kids have mock-necked dicks after their circumcisions.

btw, last 4-5 pages are for the time capsule. good stuff.

peen cheese isnt the way to start off the morning;)
Posted
Kunk- for post sex peeing, i used to jump in the shower, rinse off and pee there. a lot easier

God damn, you like to piss everywhere in a bathroom, except for the toilet?

Posted
when i was single, i was on a cunt hunt every night. could never enjoy a night out with my male friends. now i can, though. i even feel better about wanking it as a married man, knowing there is a real live vagina in the next room.

Man, i want to find a female hole to get up in, but i'm also lazy. I was at a bar last night where my roomate and friends' band was playing and they have video games there. Some girl was commenting on my outfit and said she really liked my shirt and asked me about it but i was playing mario kart 64 and making an epic comeback. So i just said "band of outsiders, i bought it online from this new york place" and continued to win. I should've chatter her up.

Posted
God damn, you like to piss everywhere in a bathroom, except for the toilet?

Toilet is for shitting. Everywhere is for peeing.

But seriously, you never pee in the shower? I actually don't pee in the shower here because the drain sucks and after 5 minutes of showering you're ankle deep in water. And that'd be fucking nasty to be standing in your pee for your whole shower

Posted

i dont know nuthing bout biology. if i nut inside a bitch then waited (while i was still up in that shit) to soften up, then pissed inside, would my urine kill the sperms? that'd be dope...

Posted

i never had verbal game.

went like this:

"hey, how are you, blah blah"

"what's up. insert life story here"

me: "i want to eat your pussy and fuck the shit out of you"

70% result: walk away, kick in sack, drink in grill

30%: pussy eating and fucking.

Man, i want to find a female hole to get up in, but i'm also lazy. I was at a bar last night where my roomate and friends' band was playing and they have video games there. Some girl was commenting on my outfit and said she really liked my shirt and asked me about it but i was playing mario kart 64 and making an epic comeback. So i just said "band of outsiders, i bought it online from this new york place" and continued to win. I should've chatter her up.
Posted
i dont know nuthing bout biology. if i nut inside a bitch then waited (while i was still up in that shit) to soften up, then pissed inside, would my urine kill the sperms? that'd be dope...

Lemon creme pie?

Posted
Man, i want to find a female hole to get up in, but i'm also lazy. I was at a bar last night where my roomate and friends' band was playing and they have video games there. Some girl was commenting on my outfit and said she really liked my shirt and asked me about it but i was playing mario kart 64 and making an epic comeback. So i just said "band of outsiders, i bought it online from this new york place" and continued to win. I should've chatter her up.

133-chuck_e_cheese

Posted

jmatsu, nah. Piss is sterile til it leaves your wang and contacts air, it's just mineral water, heavy on the minerals.

Posted

speaking of sink pissing, i have seen my mate piss in his own kitchen sink? fucking cave man...

Posted
jmatsu, nah. Piss is sterile til it leaves your wang and contacts air, it's just mineral water, heavy on the minerals.

sux....is there nuthin i ould eat or drink the night/day before if i wanna make my pee a lethal spermicide?

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