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denimdestroyedmylife

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I start a new job today at a retirement community. I'm scared.

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i'm fucking scared of myself right know. i'm 24 and i'm already thinking about settling down, working a 9-17 job, having kids and live a fairly uneventful life. i think i'm getting tired of the whole process of picking up a girl, dating her a few times, just to find out she is not for you.

Don't be scared of it, it's nothing to be scared of. There's this fantasy that we're fed through pop culture that we're all gonna go out to amazing bars and pick up knockouts every night and wear impeccable suits and all that, and I know for some, a version of that is reality, but for most everyone that fantasy usually manifests into playing xbox alone on a Saturday night 9/10 times, even for said "cool guys". It's really not all Ryan Gosling / Crazy, Stupid, Love in the real world, and it's admirable to look at things like finding a partner and raising a family as a positive goal and something to look forward to. I've been on both sides of the fence, and while there are definitely times that being single and randomly hooking up can be fun (really fun), what I really want to do is eat a bowl of cereal with my sons while we watch Adventure Time and travel and laugh and have a great time with a committed partner. You're not being domesticated or being a pussy by wanting stability and a family, you're just a step ahead of the people that don't recognize quite yet that they really do want it. The only reason I know that is because I've put my time in and see the whole picture.

All that being said, don't jump into something too fast, or make marriage/kids a goal when you're meeting people. I'd almost be down with people not being able to legally wed until they're in their late 20's or 30. I had absolutely no idea who I was un until 5 or so years ago, and I made a huge mistake of thinking the person I was with was the right fit for me, mainly because she was there and available. You have your whole life to get married, but realistically only a short period of time to connect with new people before the real world starts consuming you (which it does). On a positive note, if time feels like it's running out...we (men) just seem to get more desirable as we age. If I took 23 year old me and 31 year old me and put them side by side, the older version would pull girls all day over the younger one. You have a ton to look forward to.

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Don't be scared of it, it's nothing to be scared of. There's this fantasy that we're fed through pop culture that we're all gonna go out to amazing bars and pick up knockouts every night and wear impeccable suits and all that, and I know for some, a version of that is reality, but for most everyone that fantasy usually manifests into playing xbox alone on a Saturday night 9/10 times, even for said "cool guys". It's really not all Ryan Gosling / Crazy, Stupid, Love in the real world, and it's admirable to look at things like finding a partner and raising a family as a positive goal and something to look forward to. I've been on both sides of the fence, and while there are definitely times that being single and randomly hooking up can be fun (really fun), what I really want to do is eat a bowl of cereal with my sons while we watch Adventure Time and travel and laugh and have a great time with a committed partner. You're not being domesticated or being a pussy by wanting stability and a family, you're just a step ahead of the people that don't recognize quite yet that they really do want it. The only reason I know that is because I've put my time in and see the whole picture.

All that being said, don't jump into something too fast, or make marriage/kids a goal when you're meeting people. I'd almost be down with people not being able to legally wed until they're in their late 20's or 30. I had absolutely no idea who I was un until 5 or so years ago, and I made a huge mistake of thinking the person I was with was the right fit for me, mainly because she was there and available. You have your whole life to get married, but realistically only a short period of time to connect with new people before the real world starts consuming you (which it does). On a positive note, if time feels like it's running out...we (men) just seem to get more desirable as we age. If I took 23 year old me and 31 year old me and put them side by side, the older version would pull girls all day over the younger one. You have a ton to look forward to.

well said. 23 y.o me thanks you on behalf of 31 y.o. future me.

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^^

very well said!

ive been married for almost 3 years and i feel like i dont know my husband (actually he doesnt know me)...i was in my bathroom last night, candles and incense lit, smoking to the god of bud and he asks me to stop smoking. i dont know about anyone else, but i get super defensive about smoking. when we first met i told him i smoke all the time and granted i havent so much the past 2 years, but since getting this good shit im def doing it way more often.

i guess im just pissed that he doesnt understand and accept the fact that id rather smoke than drink and not make me feel like a complete asshole when i do smoke. =/ i want reassurance, not judgement.

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My ex was the same way. She never smoked, had never even seen weed before, but had this pre-conceived idea that it was horrible and intolerable, and always made a huge deal out of it. I never knew why she took it so seriously, I still don't understand it. She's a pretty uncultured person, the kind that gets excited to go to an Olive Garden, so I'm guessing it's just ignorance, but the point being that the more she got upset about it, the more it made me want to do it, and that widened the gap between us. If you're gonna lock it down with one person, you have to trust them to make the decision to do or not do something on their own, and not try to make it for them. Marriage is weird, you go into it assuming that the other person is there to help you grow and excel as a person, and a lot of the time partners just end up holding the other back. That resentment grows, but you're so comfortable that nobody does anything about it until it's either at a breaking point, or until you're both 70 and hate eachother. I was just reading an article about how the shelf life of a relationship is typically 10 years, that's about as long as one person can tolerate the other before they just give up. I read that, and then I look at my parents who have been married 30 years + and can't stand the idea of being away from the other person. I think a big difference is that they lived together for a long time before they got married and learned eachother, they love the other for who they are, and not for who they expect them to be, and they had absolutely no pressure to get married by outside forces. They got married because they wanted to. In fact, they were verbally disowned by my grandparents...so there really was 0 pressure on them to get married.

Don't quit on him yet, but don't form those gaps over things that can be discussed and handled easily. You shouldn't have to give anything up because he expects you to, he might just not understand it. I really should have just hot boxed my ex in the bathroom so she's calm the fuck down. At the same time, there were a lot of things she wanted or had an opinion on that I just didn't give a fuck about. Usually because I didn't think they were important enough to warrant my time or consideration, but that's also part of being married...you gotta recognize they have a perspective and give them the platform and the respect to hear what they have to say and really digest it. I know going forward in my life and with new relationships that that is a huge thing I'm working on improving on.

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well said. 23 y.o me thanks you on behalf of 31 y.o. future me.

This.

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Don't be scared of it, it's nothing to be scared of. There's this fantasy that we're fed through pop culture that we're all gonna go out to amazing bars and pick up knockouts every night and wear impeccable suits and all that, and I know for some, a version of that is reality, but for most everyone that fantasy usually manifests into playing xbox alone on a Saturday night 9/10 times, even for said "cool guys". It's really not all Ryan Gosling / Crazy, Stupid, Love

So true. I know a guy who goes out in the weekends with just the intention of picking up girls. Not only is he boring, but blames himself for not being able to pick up girls with the whole "nice guy" argument when in fact he really is the asshole and thinks every female owes him one.

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Last couple of posts gives me hope.

Continue preaching\

+rep all around

Edited by gettoasty

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My ex was the same way. She never smoked, had never even seen weed before, but had this pre-conceived idea that it was horrible and intolerable, and always made a huge deal out of it. I never knew why she took it so seriously, I still don't understand it. She's a pretty uncultured person, the kind that gets excited to go to an Olive Garden, so I'm guessing it's just ignorance, but the point being that the more she got upset about it, the more it made me want to do it, and that widened the gap between us. If you're gonna lock it down with one person, you have to trust them to make the decision to do or not do something on their own, and not try to make it for them. Marriage is weird, you go into it assuming that the other person is there to help you grow and excel as a person, and a lot of the time partners just end up holding the other back. That resentment grows, but you're so comfortable that nobody does anything about it until it's either at a breaking point, or until you're both 70 and hate eachother. I was just reading an article about how the shelf life of a relationship is typically 10 years, that's about as long as one person can tolerate the other before they just give up. I read that, and then I look at my parents who have been married 30 years + and can't stand the idea of being away from the other person. I think a big difference is that they lived together for a long time before they got married and learned eachother, they love the other for who they are, and not for who they expect them to be, and they had absolutely no pressure to get married by outside forces. They got married because they wanted to. In fact, they were verbally disowned by my grandparents...so there really was 0 pressure on them to get married.

Don't quit on him yet, but don't form those gaps over things that can be discussed and handled easily. You shouldn't have to give anything up because he expects you to, he might just not understand it. I really should have just hot boxed my ex in the bathroom so she's calm the fuck down. At the same time, there were a lot of things she wanted or had an opinion on that I just didn't give a fuck about. Usually because I didn't think they were important enough to warrant my time or consideration, but that's also part of being married...you gotta recognize they have a perspective and give them the platform and the respect to hear what they have to say and really digest it. I know going forward in my life and with new relationships that that is a huge thing I'm working on improving on.

im not giving up on him at all. our marriage is a little complicated cause we live with his 2 sisters (30&21) and his brother(26)...he became the head of the house when their mom died so they all stayed together. he says smoking just isnt his thing, but i can hear it in the tone of his voice like hes disciplining me. it irks me so bad. but i cant smoke anywhere else cause his family is all fucking over. >_<

and im just over it. if im not first, fuck it. im not needy, at all but im spoiled and im an asshole and i always get what i want. at the same time, i take care of my husband, his family, my son, contribute to income, cook, clean and im pretty fucking cute.

in our relationship, its communication and time that we need to work on and when they do move out we are def going to have big fights...but i think itll bring us so much closer.

/mushy julz

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on saturday i attended the first wedding in my family since 1979

all i got from it was confirmation that i dont feel like i ever need one of my own

it was also only the second time in my life ive been in a church

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Don't want to hear all this marriage shiz. Let me masturbate in the hope that I own an harem of creepers and birkin bags!

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you say things that make me wonder sometimes desi

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There's this fantasy that we're fed through pop culture that we're all gonna go out to amazing bars and pick up knockouts every night

fantasy?

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get money fuck bitches till i'm 40

i'm a late bloomer so i got some catching up to do

the good news is that i didn't reach my peak yet and i'm 25

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Posted · Hidden by DJ_Flame, January 11, 2012 - No reason given
Hidden by DJ_Flame, January 11, 2012 - No reason given

Just took an old friend out for lunch. Haven't seen her in a year.

We hit off really well. And I found out we have almost similar tastes in TV & music.

She's kinda cute too.

Mini-crush developing. I hope I can see her in school more often =)

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Wow when did supertrash become clusterfuck of self-depricating posts about girl problems.

miss lurking the old sufu

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i think it's been pretty wimpy since homophobic slurs were banned

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i think it's been pretty wimpy since homophobic slurs were banned

Shut the fuck up you straight ass bitch!

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i'm fucking scared of myself right know. i'm 24 and i'm already thinking about settling down, working a 9-17 job, having kids and live a fairly uneventful life. i think i'm getting tired of the whole process of picking up a girl, dating her a few times, just to find out she is not for you.

I'm 25 and I'm scared that I'll never actually want to settle down. My 1 year girlfriend wanted to move in with me next summer and I shut her down quick. I once had a thing with one of my roomate 2 years ago and it was the worst / unpleasant / awkward cohabitation I've ever lived in until I moved out. I love my girlfriend, but I just can't imagine myself being with someone 24/7 all the time, I need my space, I need my time alone etc... it's like I'm not ready to give up my freedom.

Sometime I think I'm just not made for relationships meh.

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im not giving up on him at all. our marriage is a little complicated cause we live with his 2 sisters (30&21) and his brother(26)...he became the head of the house when their mom died so they all stayed together. he says smoking just isnt his thing, but i can hear it in the tone of his voice like hes disciplining me. it irks me so bad. but i cant smoke anywhere else cause his family is all fucking over. >_<

and im just over it. if im not first, fuck it. im not needy, at all but im spoiled and im an asshole and i always get what i want. at the same time, i take care of my husband, his family, my son, contribute to income, cook, clean and im pretty fucking cute.

in our relationship, its communication and time that we need to work on and when they do move out we are def going to have big fights...but i think itll bring us so much closer.

/mushy julz

Tell your husband when he catches you smoking, you'll suck his dick in a handstand. He'll be begging you to smoke.

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just watched the bill cunningham documentary.

bill breaking down at the end made me tear up.

this was such a great film.

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Tell your husband when he catches you smoking, you'll suck his dick in a handstand. He'll be begging you to smoke.

ha! he knows when i smoke i am 99.9% dtf.......i could always tempt him with a facefuck. win/win

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Blahhhh, really wanted to work at Levi's but I think its going to blow over if I keep having opportunities from other companies. Have an interview but HR hasn't called to schedule time, while I have a possible job in Boston that I made to final round of interviews. As much as I want to work in apparel it's really hard to convince myself when I'm getting more follow through from tech companies who pay more...

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I don't know why, but every now and again out of fucking nowhere i just get depressed as fuck. Like to the point where i don't give a fuck about anything. This morning I was feelin dope, makin plans, makin shit, now I'm staring at the computer lookin like my avatar.

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I don't know why, but every now and again out of fucking nowhere i just get depressed as fuck. Like to the point where i don't give a fuck about anything. This morning I was feelin dope, makin plans, makin shit, now I'm staring at the computer lookin like my avatar.

i'm the same. i always said that the depression will never go away, it can only be managed..and you only go so long before it just hits you outta nowhere. then it'll get stuffed away and the cycle will continue, forever.

tumblr_lxnx9wNi4R1qa6z3eo1_500.jpg

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This is not as fun of a website as it used to be. I guess I've moved on to hanging out with actual people, who may or may not be involved in fashion/whatever my interests are. I met some great people off this site IRL, but there are also a lot of idiots on here. Certainly it's a lower percentage than on, say, myspace or facebook, but it's still noticeable, and the fact that young dudes talk like they are from the hood when they are asian kids at a SoCal college makes me laugh.

Still, it's nice to come back to something familiar once in a while.

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