superconfessional

[broneck]

you're an RA? hahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahaha

[Lab]

you're an RA? hahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahaha

It gives good spending money, but, man, do you get some crazy residents...

[billy dee williams]

I'm a college student. I work as a resident assistant/advisor (RA) at one of the university dorms.

It's Thanksgiving break, and the hall isn't closed. So, I have to work at the front desk from 1am-4am. I didn't think anyone would be in the building since they'd all be home, so I took a nap. About two hours in, I hear whistling, and I wake up...and I see this pimply, long-haired pale kid staring at me making loud breathing sounds. I thought he was locked out of his room, so I asked for his room number and proceeded to open the key box.

But he didn't respond. I asked for his ID, to see if he lived here, but he just kept staring.

I shrugged it off. There are some pretty fucked up kids on this campus, and he might just be high or inebriated. I grab the TV remote and start switching channels and then I hear him say...

"My roommate watches me shower. And he videotapes me."

I respond, "Have you called campus police? Or even talked to your RA?"

"No. I like it. I thought I'd tell you that. Before he starts selling the DVDs."

...

He keeps talking..."I really like it when no one's here. People think I'm creepy because I used to be fat. I really want to find a pair of gloves with like brass knuckles inside so I can just punch people in the face. But maybe a baseball bat would be better because then I wouldn't be near them and I won't get the blood on me. But I like blood."

I was about to write an incident report...but decided to ask..."You know, the counseling center has extended hours over the break. Would you like me to make an appointment for you?"

The kid's eyes widened and he grabbed his ID, swiped it through the door check, and ran up the stairs. Even though he lives on the 11th floor.

I haven't seent the kid since.

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.

along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

[wEstSidE]

U Bought Da Book Cuz U Lyk Da Deminz

[Guest]

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels....

best post ever

[Ahlvahroe]

I just can't stand djrajio

i generally like djrajios posts mostly cause i remember this post by artificialsky and it makes it all ok.

as usual.... RAJIV HAS THE PROBLEMS I WISH I HAD.

i imagine him sitting in his apartment in tokyo looking at a bunch of glossy photos of high-powered/gorgeous japanese spread out on his $30,000 coffee table, anguishing as he picks up each photo one by one and wondering to himself, "HOW am I going to find time to have sex with ALL these women?!"

[kenthenoob]

i miss drawing with pencils... i've been using ink too much.

[ayn]

Shame on you Ayn. SHAME ON YOU.

That's some overpriced garbage for da whities, no offense. $4.50 special at Green Bo restaurant across from the ice cream parlor.

green bo, need to chk that shit out next time im in nyc...

[le_chic_garcon]

I fucking hate my French teacher. I got pissed in class today so I stood up and walked over to his fucking 80s boombox and turned it on full blast. The bastard took 2 points off my average.

[jeepster]

I fucking hate my French teacher. I got pissed in class today so I stood up and walked over to his fucking 80s boombox and turned it on full blast. The bastard took 2 points off my average.

weak confession.

we want blood.

[mr fluffernutter]

I fucking hate my French teacher. I got pissed in class today so I stood up and walked over to his fucking 80s boombox and turned it on full blast. The bastard took 2 points off my average.

you sound like a case

[soraanaam]

i just did the 300 workout and my head hurts so much now and i wanna barf

[artificialsky]

I fucking hate my French teacher. I got pissed in class today so I stood up and walked over to his fucking 80s boombox and turned it on full blast. The bastard took 2 points off my average.

you rebel.

[Guest DUM]

I just suck at drawing lately, I have two papers I should be working on...I will do it tomorrow I promise.

also, M&M post, whether billy stole it or not, is the best post in this thread.

[travisio]

I'm not making that up. That's an actual confession.

that's not a confession, that's a story. fam.

we should make a "i want to feel important, read my stories" thread.

[Handlethevibe]

I gained 20 lbs over the summer. Went from a 34" Chest to 36". I'm fat. =(

In my eyes anyways.

[kenthenoob]

...i prefer big-boned. kthx.

[JohnnyRed]

I gained 20 lbs over the summer. Went from a 34" Chest to 36". I'm fat. =(

In my eyes anyways.

girl though right

it's cool

[Selegna]

remember all the hype about marc ecko buying supreme and aNYthing..?

a-ron got cut a check and bounced to some fat pad upstate. they made up some bs story for complex mag to cover it up. And Supreme will slowly turn over to the rhino in a 2-3 year phase out, then they will make a public purchase. After that marc ecko will have taken control of ZooYork, Supreme, and aNYthing and will make outlet stores across America that sell all three companies for 30% above cost.

the end.

[Brooklyn Zoo]

better investment than that god forsaken homerun ball

[Caps Lock]

But isnt Supreme owned by Stussy and Union? I think they have some deal worked out, I know Jebbia owns Supreme and Union. So why would he sell out to Marc Ecko if things are going so well for him?

[red]

this is why.

[Mr Calvin Oscar]

l FINISHED MY UC APPS. FUCK YES

[GiZMO]

^^ is that hard someone suggest i go to a UC cuz it ez

loololol eminemsm

found out friend was a whore threw my phone in frustration went like 30 feet brokeinto 3

Ran like 2 miles for first time since ever I think on pure adrenaline, thanks long distance running thread. RIght now it's sort of slipping my mind but it's still up there. The person you think you fall for from the first time you see them to them with a dick hanging from their lip like a loose cigarette. The thought was repulsive so I spat out my cig which reminded me how my friends make the analogy that smoking is like sucking a dick. Sorta like trauma and I can't even enjoy porn cuz the bitch jump in my head. Wish my gf would lay down that brain it'd prob make me forget about that trick. How do you get over that this is like some Freud level shit minus the coke (I wanted to type blow that might not be appropriate).

Feeling to resort to blackmail but I'm not that weak and not no scrub ass snitch.

y u do dat??? JUST PIMP DAT BITCH. den u KOP DEM LAVINZ

Just found out how much them shoooooooz are. Fkkkkkkk whta was I thinking

I am also angry I did not jump on votefornara's point and shoot. Ughhhhhhh I'm kicking myself.

[Handlethevibe]

girl though right

it's cool

No, random poster.

[fadingblue]

i havent written here in a while

drama is pretty much over since im done with that girl

i bet the trash misses my bitching

oh and le chic garcon, thats weak dude

[Guest Airjamie]

you're an RA? hahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahaha

BOO THIS HALLMONITOR PUSSY.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. BOO NIGGA.

[keri]

I just had a small heart attack.

I was sitting here, minding my own business reading superfuture... when all the sudden upon my door I heard the cop knock.

So I am wondering what I could have done to get this (maybe it was the selling crack to 7 year olds).... and I open the door and there stands the pizza guy.

[wEstSidE]

I just had a small heart attack.

I was sitting here, minding my own business reading superfuture... when all the sudden upon my door I heard the cop knock.

So I am wondering what I could have done to get this (maybe it was the selling crack to 7 year olds).... and I open the door and there stands the pizza guy.

did u order a pizza?

(I WAOULD NORMALLY SAY "DID U GET XXXXXTRA SAUSAGE????"BUT DDML WOULD GIVE ME MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION)

[Guest DUM]

GIZMO, so heartbreakin, like lovin a whore. might hurt ya once, but never no more.