Superawkward

[Fycus]

Keep thinking about this when I try to read the post

 

[kH0yA Sw@Gp0o]

ur posts are convaluted and unrewarding

but she so cute

[kH0yA Sw@Gp0o]

but she so cute

actually i regret reducing whitney to this. my apologies

i'm sure you're more than just cute etc etc etc 

yes meta-awkward sucessful

[fads]

another esl flashback

 

so in 99 when i was young n new to Amerca i had the leisure of playing connect 4s n talking about my American experience w esl lady. we discussed many topics despite the severe poverty of my english language. one day she asked about what cartoons i liked to watch n of course i was weird n thought 'doug' was cool so i told her that but because of aforementioned poverty of my english language i said my favorite was 'dung' which i knew was wrong right after i said it from reading her facial expression (the esl lady)

[skeetinmynose]

severe poverty of my english language

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

ur posts are convaluted and unrewarding

 

It kind of reminds me when I used to post on sleep drugs. Stream of consciousness where the real important part is that I got the words out before I passed out on my keyboard.

[uhhuh69]

there was this girl who i used to go to school with who was the biggest slut i've ever known, she used to get fucked by different guys on the daily. anyway, when i finished high school when i was 16 we were at a prom after party, and after doing the deed with someone upstairs, she passed out in the living room. usually when people pass out people draw cocks on their foreheads or write 'gaylord' or something on them, but there was this older guy who decided to pour a tin of tomato soup down her jeans. i don't think she ever did find out who did it or even realise what it was when she woke up.

 

i saw her in the supermarket earlier today and i hadn't seen her in a while so she called me over to ask what i'm doing and such, when i see the exact same brand of tomato soup in her basket. i manage to survive without bursting out into laughter when she asks me what i'm buying, i swallow a lump in my throat and say "oh just bread, milk, coffee, the usual stuff", when she holds up one of the cans and says "you want to pick up some soup, 5 cans for £3". right now i'm sweating trying not to burst into tears with laughter, i'm just sort of cringing letting out short bursts of laughter. she asked me "what's funny?" when i clear my throat, wipe the tears away from my eyes and look up to her smiling still holding the can of soup. it was probably the loudest i've ever laughed in my life right in the middle of the supermarket in front of this girl.

[Trouble]

.

Edited September 12, 2014 by Trouble

[spacepope]

wow did not mean to neg rep that is amazing

 

did you get the tomato soup tho

[DTC]

Ran into my uncle's ex-fiance at a bar about a month ago. Chatted and hung out over drinks. She informed me that 1. she was bisexual and 2. was down for a 3-some if we found an attractive enough chick that night.

 

Different night, different girl. Got dragged out to a hookah bar with some chick I was interested in. She invited out some other guy as well. I hadn't met him before so I wanted to get know him and how much competition he was going to be. Ended up exposing that he is 30 with a 10 year old kid and married, but he doesn't have a ring and even if he did he wouldn't wear it. He likes to mess with 20 year old chicks and apparently they've smashed before while she was drunk (hurrah for underage drinking). Guy admitted to regularly cheating on his wife but claimed the married is open so she doesn't care even though she's faithful. What a disaster.

[Fuuma]

Did you fuck him?

[shoreman]

Yeah…you spent way too much time talking to this dude. 

[DTC]

Same girl that I went to the hookah bar with told me the story of how she was sexually assaulted by a guy 7 years older than her when she was 17. She then proceeded to watch hentai with her female roommate while on the phone with me that same night. That chick was super weird.

[abrupt stop]

Last weekend went to a rooftop bbq with the homies and basically ate an ass load of food, junk food, etc. On the way to the train, i started to feel really bloated and gassy, to the point of pain, so when i get onto the platform i walk to the loneliest area to let one rip. As im about to, i hear this guy yell out "YOOOOO MAN" behind me, so i turn around and face him as he comes up to me. He then proceeds to ask me for money (of course) but at that point i couldnt hold it in anymore and i just let it out hoping it would of the silent variety. NOPE, clearly audible for the next few seconds, during which i maintained a stoneface while never breaking eye contact. We stare at each other expressionless for 5 more seconds before he decides to look forward and continue on down the platform. Stomach pain gone. 

[andrewisdope]

read this and then looked at your avy l o l 

[jbanger]

and then noticed username.

[tac0tron]

I'll be sure to try that next time someone asks me for money.

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

Ran into my uncle's ex-fiance at a bar about a month ago. Chatted and hung out over drinks. She informed me that 1. she was bisexual and 2. was down for a 3-some if we found an attractive enough chick that night.

 

Different night, different girl. Got dragged out to a hookah bar with some chick I was interested in. She invited out some other guy as well. I hadn't met him before so I wanted to get know him and how much competition he was going to be. Ended up exposing that he is 30 with a 10 year old kid and married, but he doesn't have a ring and even if he did he wouldn't wear it. He likes to mess with 20 year old chicks and apparently they've smashed before while she was drunk (hurrah for underage drinking). Guy admitted to regularly cheating on his wife but claimed the married is open so she doesn't care even though she's faithful. What a disaster.

 

down to chat

 

Last weekend went to a rooftop bbq with the homies and basically ate an ass load of food, junk food, etc. On the way to the train, i started to feel really bloated and gassy, to the point of pain, so when i get onto the platform i walk to the loneliest area to let one rip. As im about to, i hear this guy yell out "YOOOOO MAN" behind me, so i turn around and face him as he comes up to me. He then proceeds to ask me for money (of course) but at that point i couldnt hold it in anymore and i just let it out hoping it would of the silent variety. NOPE, clearly audible for the next few seconds, during which i maintained a stoneface while never breaking eye contact. We stare at each other expressionless for 5 more seconds before he decides to look forward and continue on down the platform. Stomach pain gone. 

 

username post syergystics feelings 

 

 

always getting yelled at by superiors for their problems is always superawkward. 

[DTC]

Buddies were doing some day drinking for 4th of July. There was a big event in town and we had plans to go around to some bars that evening. When I get there one guy was already trashed. First bar we go to for some drinks and food guy starts falling asleep at the table after he finishes his meal. We close out and leave and not 5 feet out the bar he collapses and guy is fucking snoring in the middle of the sidewalk. My other buddy and I are trying to wake him up and when that shows no success we try lifting him to carry him back to the apartment. First thing I notice and point out is the piss that has begun seeping through his jeans. Second thing that hits us is the scent of him shitting himself shortly after. Some lady walks by with her phone at the ready asking if our boy is alright and if we need help. Guy decides to wake up at that very moment and shout "DO YOU GUYS SMELL THAT? I POO'D MYSELF; IT'S SO BAD!"

 

At that point we quickly hauled his ass back to the apartment and threw him in the bathroom. At least we didn't have to clean him too.

[tac0tron]

Got so crossed on my bday that when we went out to eat, as soon as our food arrived I ate a few fries and ended up knocking out right next to my food.

As soon as I wake up, my mostly untouched food is in a to-go box, everyone else is done with their food, and the check is paid for. I felt so embarrassed.

[wahwho11]

happy birthday

[gettoasty]

Last weekend went to a rooftop bbq with the homies and basically ate an ass load of food, junk food, etc. On the way to the train, i started to feel really bloated and gassy, to the point of pain, so when i get onto the platform i walk to the loneliest area to let one rip. As im about to, i hear this guy yell out "YOOOOO MAN" behind me, so i turn around and face him as he comes up to me. He then proceeds to ask me for money (of course) but at that point i couldnt hold it in anymore and i just let it out hoping it would of the silent variety. NOPE, clearly audible for the next few seconds, during which i maintained a stoneface while never breaking eye contact. We stare at each other expressionless for 5 more seconds before he decides to look forward and continue on down the platform. Stomach pain gone. 

[Denton]

Got so crossed on my bday that when we went out to eat, as soon as our food arrived I ate a few fries and ended up knocking out right next to my food.

As soon as I wake up, my mostly untouched food is in a to-go box, everyone else is done with their food, and the check is paid for. I felt so embarrassed.

 

this happened to me except my friends ate my food and took pictures posing with me

 

and then i woke up to vomit

 

not a good look

[conqueror]

every monday morning at the office.

 

"hi ___, how was your weekend?"

"good, you?"

"yeah, good."

"..."

[domdomdomdom]

or on friday when they ask what you've got planned

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

every monday morning at the office.

 

"hi ___, how was your weekend?"

"good, you?"

"yeah, good."

"..."

 

"did you do anything cool?"

"..."

"cool."

[uhhuh69]

just ordered Domino's pizza, the pizza delivery guy came to my door when i'd just got out of a bath, so i was half naked. i answered it kind of halfway behind the door to hide my half naked body. he said "£15.99 please mate", so i gave him a £20 note and waited for my change. he must've expected me to say 'keep the change', because after he was finished clipping his bag together again and started to walk off he turned back to say bye and must've remembered that he still owes me change, so he walked back around his car to my front door and spent a minute fumbling in his pocket for the £4 he owed me. just then my fucking dog smelt the pizza and came hurtling out of the living room, into the hallway, and out of the front door to this pizza guy, knocking the door wide open exposing my naked legs as i let out a girly scream and dashed behind the door. because my dog is a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and they have a bad rep here (related to the Pit Bull), he was just frozen with fear as my dog was smelling him for pizza whilst i was desperately trying to find something to cover up with. eventually i found a pair of old football shorts 2 sizes too small, my dog came in, and the pizza guy power walked back to his car and drove off with my £4 change he owed me.

[wrong_move]

every monday morning at the office.

 

"hi ___, how was your weekend?"

"good, you?"

"yeah, good."

"..."

 

or on friday when they ask what you've got planned

 

When you walk in on the gossipy older women in the break room talkin about menopause and you join in on the convo

 

[gettoasty]

"what did you do this long weekend?"

"nothing, stayed home."

"..."

"......"

 

 

*co-worker slowly maneuvers from desk to the door and out*

[tac0tron]

Was talking to some dude at a store opening the other night, and while drinking my beer I got a funny feeling in my throat and involuntarily sprayed a bit of my beer out, some getting onto him. I was very embarrassed, but I also didn't really think he was all that cool.

Good chance he lurks Sufu. I hope you see this.

Edited September 8, 2014 by tac0tron