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Superawkward


scoki

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Im sitting in my friends house right now with three other people. one of which has a deep ass crush on a girl here that doenst like him at all and she knows he has feelings for her. long story short he said, "when were through being friends, i'll teach you how to hug correctly." the room went dead silent for about 5 seconds. then the girl said, "alright ill see you guys later." i guess it wasnt so bad but i got that sinking feeling of awkwardness in my stomach.

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went for a haircut yesterday and the girl who was doing it kept farting. silent ones, but there was a smell, and there was nobody even remotely nearby. few times have I put more thought into exactly what expression is on my face.

awww c'mon. imagine if you were in her position :o

that's even *more* embarrassing/awkward. tryna clench your buttcheeks shut but everytime you walk around it slips out

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Im sitting in my friends house right now with three other people. one of which has a deep ass crush on a girl here that doenst like him at all and she knows he has feelings for her. long story short he said, "when were through being friends, i'll teach you how to hug correctly." the room went dead silent for about 5 seconds. then the girl said, "alright ill see you guys later." i guess it wasnt so bad but i got that sinking feeling of awkwardness in my stomach.

damnit, i wasnt there when this happened... fuck me

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my ex Julia ran into an old schoolmate of mine. Emily Gould. Who can be seen here, getting made to look a fool by Jimmy Kimmel.

she says, "hey Emily, remember me, we were voted twins from behind on swim team, we swam together for like 3 years, etc etc". Emily looks at her and says, "oh, I completely forgot you ever existed".

What makes this superawkward is that Julia was telling me this story at some indian joint on 1st street in NYC, and then we looked over and Emily Gould was eating at the table next to us with some dude. Yeah she heard us mocking her, but whatever I already ordered man, and I'm not taking my tikki masala to go. Dude with her didn't even try to get in my face, even though I'm like 5'9" and a buck twenty with my hair wet.

p.s. as a related story, Emily definitely fucked this dude and his 13 year old brother in the same night at a house party and said "I gave him the best 30 seconds of his life". That girl is an unrepentant whore and bitch, which is sort of amazing.

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.

p.s. as a related story, Emily definitely fucked this dude and his 13 year old brother in the same night at a house party and said "I gave him the best 30 seconds of his life". That girl is an unrepentant whore and bitch, which is sort of amazing.

what the fuck

that's fucking creepy, that's some pedophile shit for real

what a fucking deviant

how old is she? like 30?

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what the fuck

that's fucking creepy, that's some pedophile shit for real

what a fucking deviant

how old is she? like 30?

nah, this was back when she was in high school with me. Like 18 I think.

She is a stone cold bitch, and she got a 6 figure book deal last time I talked to her. I don't know why but she considers me to be a tertiary friend. It's...amusing.

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I got out of class and decided to go to a random car in the parking lot to check my hair on the a window. Turns out, the car I picked had someone inside and as I was checking/fixing my hair, the guy rolled down his window and was like wtf...

ugh..I'm never doing that again :(

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nah, this was back when she was in high school with me. Like 18 I think.

She is a stone cold bitch, and she got a 6 figure book deal last time I talked to her. I don't know why but she considers me to be a tertiary friend. It's...amusing.

she sounds like a huge bitch

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^^ she wrote a 'memoirs' in her mid 20s, which by itself seems utterly stupid.

this is a pretty scathing review of the book: http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/2010/05/04/emily_gould_heart_says

other opinions are not dissimilar.

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say word???

yeah this definitely happened. All while dating my boy, who was crushed repeatedly by her being a massive whore.

I still remember the first thing she asked me was "do you know what a menage a trois is?" when we were both 13 or something. I was like, "no but clearly you do".

Still, I would definitely smash her. She was super hot back in the day, and she's still hot whenever I randomly run into her(like on the bolt bus and shit).

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My friend is facing two felonies, one which is like attempted armed robbery. While it's serious, he is going to most likely get off fine and the whole thing is kind of like a comedic movie plot, so the only thing really is to laugh about it and hope he's alright. Still, like I said it's a really big deal and running to his mom when I was leaving his house from visiting him (house arrest, ankle tracking device and all) was super awkward. His family is pretty open about it and all I could say was good luck and then I got out of there.

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i think this was more awkward for me since my cousin seemed kinda proud of this but ill share anyway.

a few weeks ago i was in mexico, and the day before i left my cousins tell me that they want to take me out to get a drink or something.

we get into the car and they decide that we are going to a strip club, what ever. while driving there my older cousin starts telling me all of this stuff that i felt a little awkward hearing. he was telling me that he is a sex addict, and that he has 5 kids with 3 different girls, 1 of which is his wife, and that i shouldnt tell his mom cause she doesnt know about some of the kids. im like wtf but whatever.

so we get to the strip club, then the same cousin asks me when was the last time i saw a one of our cousins, and i told him it had been a few years. then he goes to tell me that she was working as a stripper for a while. he found this out by chance by going into a club she was working in. then he proceeds to get a little creepy, like 'damn she has great tits, and she is really fucking hot' im just like wtf, this is a first cousin.

then as the night is ending he tells me that i should stay in mexico for another month, and live in his apartment. then he goes to tell me, 'if you stay with me for a month ill make sure i get you lots of girls, you'll be getting laid all the time.' with my current dryspell it did seem a little promising but i dont think i could handle living with a sex addict with 5 kids.

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back in HK its common for public toilets to have attendants in them. I needed a shit so bad the other day when i was in a pretty upscale shopping centre so i run to the toilet. i proceed to dump, which turns out pretty big and requires a lot of toilet paper. When finished, i try to flush the toilet but only half the TP and shit went down, so i flush again, managing to catch the massive floating mound of TP. All of a sudden the bowl begins to fill up to the brim, i get shook and run out.

The attendant was waiting outside the cubicle for me and goes in as i come out. I run and wash my hands as quickly as possible and all i hear is AIYAAAA and the attendant cursing at me in canto, all the other people around me start looking my way. I wash my hands as quickly as possible and legged it out of there. i couldnt stop laughing for like an hour afterwards, people were giving me funny looks on the street.

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My friend is facing two felonies, one which is like attempted armed robbery. While it's serious, he is going to most likely get off fine and the whole thing is kind of like a comedic movie plot...

in what way is armed robbery like a comedic movie plot? Did your friend use one of those guns that has the little flag come out that says "BANG!!" on it?

we need details that will not incriminate you or your friend.

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Coming home to find a homeless-looking dude rifling through the bins in your front garden. Hella awkward.

he might've been one of those dumpster diver people - you know the ones that eat food out of dumpsters because they dont believe in paying for it or something, and with the hope they dont get a terrible case of e.coli or salmonella poisoning.

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