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Superawkward


scoki

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he might've been one of those dumpster diver people

they are called freegans. jonathan laroquette was one, the guy from UhhYeahDude.

I met this guy who goes to Pratt film school in NY. I asked him if he knew this guy I went to school with named, "K". He said yeah, and laughed a little bit.

I told him about how K went to Ocean City after senior year high school for beach week. K ended up fucking this girl that was ridiculously drunk, as was he. They had sex, and then she left and went home. He noticed an odd smell at this point(I guess he was distracted or something) and discovered that the drunk girl had shit all over the bed while getting fucked, because she was that hammered. he had to throw out the sheets and take a shower and scrub the room like CSI was on their way in, and they should have been because apparently her shit smelled like death in a closed room.

So I tell this story about my friend K to this guy, and his face gets wierder and wierder. As I am laughing about this, he sort of quietly says, "hey man, K is dating my sister." Silence ensued.

So, yeah, random chance made things superawkward.

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they are called freegans. jonathan laroquette was one, the guy from UhhYeahDude.

I met this guy who goes to Pratt film school in NY. I asked him if he knew this guy I went to school with named, "K". He said yeah, and laughed a little bit.

I told him about how K went to Ocean City after senior year high school for beach week. K ended up fucking this girl that was ridiculously drunk, as was he. They had sex, and then she left and went home. He noticed an odd smell at this point(I guess he was distracted or something) and discovered that the drunk girl had shit all over the bed while getting fucked, because she was that hammered. he had to throw out the sheets and take a shower and scrub the room like CSI was on their way in, and they should have been because apparently her shit smelled like death in a closed room.

So I tell this story about my friend K to this guy, and his face gets wierder and wierder. As I am laughing about this, he sort of quietly says, "hey man, K is dating my sister." Silence ensued.

So, yeah, random chance made things superawkward.

i lol'd

1234

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Falling off a bike in public. Pedal of my gf's road bike clipped a parking curb this morning and I flipped over the handlebars. Luckly I sorta landed on my backpack which just happened to be full of gym clothes. There was a woman on the phone staring at me from across the street. I just jumped up and walked by bike away as fast as possible as the back tire was bent to shit. Fucking awkward.

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Chillin at my homies apt we were talking about beezy's or something one of his roomates is the type of guy whose bestfriend is his girlfriend and she basically has him mad whipped. said roomate in reference to some girl

: " Shes hot"

We all agreed, then he said

:"like my girlfriend *no one answers* then he says right ojjairus"

Long silence and chuckles from everyone

I simply replied "fuck you man"

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i was chilling with friends and friends of friends watching tv in a hall with our laptops. then some shitty music came out and i thought it was the tv so i shouted "damn that's some shitty music in this show someone turn it off". turns out... it was one of the dude's music from his laptop........................ awkward..............

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Falling off a bike in public. Pedal of my gf's road bike clipped a parking curb this morning and I flipped over the handlebars. Luckly I sorta landed on my backpack which just happened to be full of gym clothes. There was a woman on the phone staring at me from across the street. I just jumped up and walked by bike away as fast as possible as the back tire was bent to shit. Fucking awkward.

I've been both the faller and the witness in this kind of situation and theyre both equally awkward. when you fall in public its awkward to just walk it off as if nothing happened, but then its also awkward to sit there all hurt like ssssssssss ahhhhhhhh.

when you watch someone else fall, its awkward because you know theyre embarrassed so you try to pretend not to see. but then if the fall was in your direct line of sight you dont wanna look like a dick so you say something insincere like "are you okay?" i mean if it was like a car crash you would genuinely be concerned, but thats another story

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glasses.

Yeh glasses can be real awk sometimes, at my work we have an oven to keep food warm before we sell it. Gotta bend down and grab shit out when people order it, on cold mornings my glasses always fog up and i kinda pause awkwardly getting shit out till the fog goes away haha.

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the cobrasnake guy looked at me funny today

dude, your store kinna sucks, im not an impressionable hipster girl

stop asking me about my shoe size, i dont want steve aoki's shoe collection

im leaving now :mad:

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it seems to me that the word "cobrasnake", while being redundant and a pretty sure sign of creepsterism, is also mad awkward as well. It's the kind of word you would say in a conversation while keeping direct eye contact with the person you are talking to so that they don't think it's stupid as shit.

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  • 1 month later...

so im eating yogurt at my desk at work and a bit of it dripped off the spoon on to the crotch area of my jeans (it was a bit melty cause of the drive over)

common sense tells me to go to the washroom and wipe it off cause i have no kleenex in my cubicle.. so i get up and start walking over. the yogurt is kinda spreading cause of my power walk at this point so for some reason i lick my finger and scoop off the excess into my mouth while walking towards the washroom door. at this moment the really quiet girl in the office comes out the washroom door and spots me licking white stuff off my crotch with my finger in my mouth

she gives me a SUPER weird/puzzled look and clears her throat then speedwalks away. goddamn

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id say the second day or so in lab we only had one jar of some chemical to use for the entire class and you needed to be under one of the chemical bench/hoods to use it, so naturally everyone was piling into the hood of the two girls who grabbed the jar first.

with only three guys in the class and most people being pretty awkward, i was in a hyper mood after drinking coffee and walked over there and said "gimme some of dat" in an unintentional rapist voice behind one of the girls and she just almost dropped the jar. awkward but great

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at the grocery store checking out, and the cashier rings up a can of Geisha smoked oysters (I love peasant food). She's like "I've always wanted to try these, I like regular oysters. How do they fit them all in there with the shells and everything" I thought she was fucking with me, the people behind me started to laugh, and I realized she was serious for a sec until it came to her. She tried to play it off, but the kid bagging my stuff was laughing along with the other people in line. Hella awkward.

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other night at a friend's house after some hash

him: do you know if flower is like slang for vagina?

me: idunno maybe, why?

him: yo man do you remember that shelby girl who was here last time you were here?

me: yeah man, why?

him: well i was over at her house 2 days ago and a bunch of people were there, and we all watched a movie and then everyone just fell asleep but me

me: alright

him: so i was trying to wake up shelby and started shining my ipod in her face and playing music and poking her cause i wanted to talk to her

me: yeah alright, did she wake up?

him: nah man, so i just like kept touching her. like sexually touching

me: oh ok

him: yeah and i just didnt stop but i think she liked it

me: oh.... did anyone else see you?

him: yeah like 4 people woke up and looked over but i didn't stop

me: oh, so did she wake up

him: yeah sort of, she smiled a lot and then told me her flower felt good but i don't know what that means

me: oh

him: yeah, so do you think she liked it?

me: idunno man, have you talked to her?

him: no, not yet. i mean she left for school the next day so

me: you should probably talk to her and see what she says, only way you're gonna know if you want to know

him: alright man

had no idea how to respond to someone telling me that they molested a girl in her sleep

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today i had intro to philosophy discussion section, which was lead by one of the professors assistants. the assistant is originally from Serbia, what that has to do with the rest of the story, i don't know. So shes leaning up against the desk at the front of the class and talking, and i'm like "uhh, you spilled your coffee". she looks at it and says "I've got plenty of tissues to clean this up". she gets a pack of travel kleenex out of her bag and starts to wipe it up, then she starts to move the papers that it spilled on and she says "oh, I'm really sorry, these are your papers" (the ones we turned in at the begining of class). everyone in class kind of moans in unison, and one guy goes "everyone gets 100%!". then we just kind of quietly watched her clean up.

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