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stranger things have happened...


gfunkdocta

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up the block from my mom, this group of gypsies, maybe 10 or 11 of them, have refurbished an old bar and converted it to a house which is apparently legal.

my aunt is staying with my mom post my grandmother's death and is an NYPD chief so she's trying to do something about it as they are stealing scooters, car radios, car antennaes — you name it, they take it. they have even taken groceries off stoops as people go in to drop some off.

the best part is they look like something out of Freaks — there's at least 3 with withered arms, one with a giant encephalitis head and one with no legs. creepy as fuck.

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in 96 or 97, my friend mike took one of those rich, slumming gutter punks home from st.marks and fed her, let her shower and fucked her for $75. true story.

european gypsies are fucked too...i had some lady practically throw her baby at me in italy, she had one arm and like 2 fingers on her remaining hand. i literally had to jump out of the way to get out of the way of this psycho bitch's swinging baby.

i usually don't fuck with giving beggars change, in fact i usually like to avoid eye contact with the human waste around my work, but a girl came up to me in toronto one morning on queen, and she had a gigantic bloody bandage wrapped around her head, a black eye, and a big gnarly scar over her lip...she smelled like shit and her hair was matted down to her head with blood, and her clothes were all stained and dirty and she was covered with bruises and track marks and shit. she came up and she was really eloquent and just said "I'm sorry to bother you and I understand I look like death, but I'm really sick and I'm really tired and hungry and I want a meal, something that I didn't find inside the dumpster in the alleyway where I usually sleep."

I think i gave her a 20 (well...not really, like a toonie or something)

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we walked out of a strip club once and a black chick in a van was parked outside asking, "who wants a blow job?" drunk off his ass, waving cash, he yells "i do, i do!"

gets in the van. this was pretty typical behavior for him. and this guy is probably managing half of our investments with my luck.

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^ hah

that's different

i figured he was one of those finance guys who's night out consists of box seats at whatever sporting event - bar - strippers - hotel + hookers + coke and expenses the whole thing

i know a few of these dudes through my boss

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he is but his behavior started even when he earned $100/week from his grocery store job.

he fucked this one stripper named alabama, a black chick with a cesarian scar and the whole nine. she had a tattoo of the state of alabama on her left ass cheek and told him to cum on alabama. funny shit.

after college, he graduated to $500-$1000/night whores.

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i was in grade 2

this retarded girl (special needs) with really thick glasses and new to the country was standing at the top of this big jungle gym contraption

this really loud white kid runs up to her and yells EVERYONE LOOK and he pulls down her skirt and her panties. she stood there like nothing had happened blinking

full on vag visible to every kid in the playground

teachers and principals scrambling

i think it might've scared me for awhile

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Had a similar one to the op. Was at a Sydney beach a couple of years ago, went to take a slash at the changing shed / john and this 60+ year old nude guy starts talking to me, I am polite for the first few "how's the heat" exchanges whilst trying to look away....then he just keeps going, wants to get into a full on conversation...I walk out half sentence.

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  • 1 year later...

One day I was late a for my basketball game. I live near the Rec Center, about a ten minute walk. I had forgotten my jersey so I ran back to my house once I realized this. The game was going to start in 15 minutes but I decided to run to my house and get my jersey anyway.

I get to my house and pick up my jersey then ran back to the park. Im running kinda fast but not so fast that I would get tired for my game. As soon as I reach the main street this guy pulls up and asks if I was ok

I respond "yeah Im cool man"

dude: "Youre in a hurry?

me: "yeah but Im not far"

dude: "Its cool Ill give you a lift"

So at this point Im thinking to myself..... this could be bad. So I glance at dude and made sure if dude tried to lock the doors or something I could knock him out. I was already in a hurry and didn't want to be late so I decided to hop in... dude looked frail anyway.

I stupidly get in the car...... Everything is ok when I hop in, I noticed a baby seat in the back so Im thinkin this guy might be ok. I smell chicken too... maybe Popeyes or KFC...

Half way there this guy starts to ask me if I play sports and I tell him I ball. Then the stop light comes and he proceeds to ask me if Id like to get my penis blown.... At this point Im like a deer in front of headlights..... I say "No man Im not gay"

dude: "But I am"

me: "Im cool with gays but I don't go that way"

dude: "I can suck your thing till you come...... you can close your eyes"

me: "Nah man you beter chill with that"

So dude was getting gullie but as soon as he was getting extra ayoo I got to the park. I have never exited a vehicle so fast in my life..... I think the car was still in motion, felt violated in some kind of way but my butt hole was still intact.......

NEVER TAKE RIDES WITH STRANGERS

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yo i'm at a classy mall right, and i need to take a dump

i go to the men's room, and a huge black person is there

standing right in front of the sink, shorts down to his ankles

and he's bathing his junk like a newborn, scooping water from the sink

patting that shit down and shit

why?

i gave him that deer caught in the headlights look and u-turned

stranger things haz happened?

wow. just caught this thread. same thing happened to me. movie theater bathroom in the mid-1990s. dude with haitian or jamaican accent says "what i'm about to do may shock you" and then washes his dong in the sink. i didn't stick around.

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once, i had to take a huge dump in a mall in santa monica. with my girlfriend in tow. and my countdown had begun.

i ended up in the macy's restroom. no lock, not a surprise. no stall for the toilet, big surprise.

after a couple seconds desperate deliberation, i dropped my drawers and my payload in record time. i was sure someone would walk in and see me in my squat...

didn't happen.

unfortunately, because of the rush, i ended up suffering through phantom shit pains the rest of the day.

on a side note, i witnessed a teenage homeless girl taking a shit in public. broad daylight. it was berkeley, i'm sure it has happened to everyone there.

momentary eye contact, total immersion in shame for both of us, we both skedaddled.

she was kinda cute for a homeless public shitter.

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i was eating at a kbbq place one time and went to take a shit in their one-person bathroom. there was a urinal and a toilet next to each other. I was sitting on the toilet and i guess the lock was broken, so a middle aged korean man walked in on me. embarrassed, he awkwardly mumbled something apologetic and walked out. BUT THEN for some reason i guess he thought it was a multi person bathroom and walked back in and peed in the urinal while i sat on the toilet next to him

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thats how some dudes roll jus t straight up doing it for the taste you know

i gotta friend who was stopped on the street by this guy in the car, rolled his window down and was asked if he liked blowjobs

"yeah" my friend says

then the creeper asked if my friend had a big dick

says, "nah, not really actually. average 6 inches..."

"oh..." the driver says

then he rolls the window back up and drives away

just dont be surprised if its some municipal politician that pulls up in a cadillac sedan

crooks, thieves and dick suckers, the lot of them!

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  • 1 month later...

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