stranger things have happened...

[gfunkdocta]

yo i'm at a classy mall right, and i need to take a dump

i go to the men's room, and a huge black person is there

standing right in front of the sink, shorts down to his ankles

and he's bathing his junk like a newborn, scooping water from the sink

patting that shit down and shit

why?

i gave him that deer caught in the headlights look and u-turned

stranger things haz happened?

[aitsuka]

hahaha

where is this city wise may I ask?

[evisu 2000]

he was taking a shit and baptized that dick.

[dismalfuture]

your dick doesn't touch the bottom of the toilet bowl when you poop? I thought that was normal.

[gfunkdocta]

Yorkdale man, dey gots Holts Renfew, H&M and Marble Floors

[dolly]

my friend was sitting on a bench on the subway platform, patiently waiting for the train. There was a crazy old woman in an ankle-length floral dress pacing back and forth, muttering, etc. as crazies tend to do.

Then she suddenly pauses, lifts the skirt of her dress up a few inches, and a couple neat little logs fall to the floor from between her legs. My friend was the ONLY person who happened to see her. She carried on like nothing had happened, leaving this little pile for some poor subway janitor. ick.

[dismalfuture]

thats actually pretty amazing, that she predicted the neat logs scenario and made it happen, as opposed to the other possible scenarios.

[gfunkdocta]

i was like cameron diaz in any given sunday mane

[kunk75]

it could have been worse. the black guy coulda been washing your dick in the sink.

[Guest jeffvyain]

I do that at my house all the time when I'm too lazy to shower, but I mean...that's at my house...with no one to make fun of me except for le girl...and usually she's panting in the other room at about this time.

[aitsuka]

I was waiting for a streetcar on queens and there was a homeless guy jacking off in the subway shelter stop. So whatever, I don't fucking care but he start ejaculating and yelling and moaning in relief like mad and I was just disgusted so I walked down to spadina instead

[gfunkdocta]

^ we frum the same hood

[shekki]

WSH51BfZT00

[Leonard Leroy]

your dick doesn't touch the bottom of the toilet bowl when you poop? I thought that was normal.

ugh. i hate this.

[Halifamous]

There was a dude up at my old gym that used to wash his balls in the sink.

Now there's a lot of naked dudes kicking around, because there are shower facilities, and that's ok.

But this man, for some reason, instead of fully showering, would just drop his pants and wash his balls in the regular sink, as soon as he got off the floor.

Dude was like 60+, had a mean no-look hook shot, and clean, snowy white balls.

[gimmegimme]

Fucking love Yorkdale.

A while back I was leaving my office, and there's a cigar shop across the street...with the typical big wooden indian in front...and there was a homeless man humping the indian. Weird shit.

[DüM]

I was leaving a concert in Seattle, my friend was driving. We stopped at a light and right next to us was a lady shitting on the outside wall of a convenience store. shit was runny.

[salaryman]

Dude was like 60+, had a mean no-look hook shot, and clean, snowy white balls.

This made me want to eat a sno-cone.

Is that gay?

[gimmegimme]

This made me want to eat a sno-cone.

Is that gay?

no.

I mean yes.

[aitsuka]

I was leaving a concert in Seattle, my friend was driving. We stopped at a light and right next to us was a lady shitting on the outside wall of a convenience store. shit was runny.

shit happens alot in china, I once saw a policeman in shanghai drop his pants in the middle of the street and shit on the side. no one cares son...

[mrjuby]

Pacific Mall aint classy dunn

ain't no black pplz in p mall.

my friend told me about an old homeless woman he saw pissing on a sink in a janitor's closet because the women's washroom was cold.

i haven't seen any weird things in public.

[azn8oi]

Location: Shanghai, China - 南京東路

I was chillin around this place on a busy Friday night by myself, and I was just sitting there. There were tons of beggars all around me, but this one 80+ year old man with a crooked back hump and a walking cane caught my attention. I gave him all the change I had, but still felt bad for him.

It was the 2nd day before I was going to leave China so I decided that I should try some Beijing duck, even though I wasn't in Beijing. So I went.

I ordered half a duck and a dish of veggies, and it was too much food so I decided to doggy bag it so I could try to find that beggar grandpa again and give it to him.

I came out of the restaurant with my bag of food, and immediately a little girl, probably no older than 4 or 5, with dirt and gray dust stains on her face and clothes, came to bum rush me. She snatched the food out of my hands, and I was going to start to tug it back until her mom says, from the corner, "Come on... give it to her! She hasn't eaten dinner yet!"

Of course I'm fucking shocked, but I let go.

THEN

A little boy, probably 2-3 years old came out of no where and started a TUG OF WAR over my leftover food bag. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The little girl ended up winning purely because she was bigger.

By this time a huge crowd had formed to watch the entire spectacle unfold, and I was just standing there, pissed off that I got jacked.

[camc]

no, he was standing in front of the sink

pants down acting like the washroom was that of his home

cant say ive ever felt the need to wash my balls in the sink regardless of whether i was at home or abroad.

[kpnv]

the dick washing thing i have seen before. in china. i did not understand and opted to piss somewhere else. also, i used to be in the military and for whatever reason, there's also dudes that have this habit. they piss in the urinal and let it flush, then they touch the water rushing down the walls of the urinal. why the fuck they can't use the fucking sink i'll never know.

on a related note to aznboi's shanghai story. i worked in shanghai for over a year back in '05-'06. beggars in china are common. some peeps say its like a network of criminals and shit but i don't really care. i never give anything to anyone no matter how fucked they look. and i'm talking about guys pushing themselves along the floor on a makeshift board with wheels because they have no lower torso.

one night, i was leaving a club and this 4 year old girl that waited outside started to cling onto my shirt begging me to buy a rose. this was like 3am or something, i was like, no you should go home and sleep or something. then this woman pops out and forces her to keep at it, even up the point where i'm in the fucking cab and her daughter's body is the one thing in the way of me shutting the door. my friend pops a dollar out the window and we manage to escape.

beggars in china are sick man, forcing little kids to work the sympathy shit. giving them money also doesn't do shit for them other than encourage this sorta behaviour anyway. you see the same beggars on the street all the time and there's a crap ton that just lay out some sob story on a piece of laminated cardboard and wait for people to drop cash. i never understand why people actually stop to read those. life is tough in china for a lotta people but i was never prepared for what extent they'd go to.

[dismalfuture]

god deeeyamn kpnv, you've had a storied life. you know you don't exactly have to wash your cock anymore than you shower, as long as you do that pretty frequently right?

[cyberPUNK]

dude probably had a "craigslist casual encounter" in the bathroom.

[ken shinoda]

it could have been worse. the black guy coulda been washing your dick in his mouth.

fixed for ya, lord kunk.

[cyberPUNK]

i think you could make it even worse if the black guy was washing his dick in the dude's mouth...just sayin'

[the_state]

i never fucked with straight up plopping my junk in the sink, but i have taken a few jewish baths in my lifetime.

[broneck]

european gypsies are fucked too...i had some lady practically throw her baby at me in italy, she had one arm and like 2 fingers on her remaining hand. i literally had to jump out of the way to get out of the way of this psycho bitch's swinging baby.

i usually don't fuck with giving beggars change, in fact i usually like to avoid eye contact with the human waste around my work, but a girl came up to me in toronto one morning on queen, and she had a gigantic bloody bandage wrapped around her head, a black eye, and a big gnarly scar over her lip...she smelled like shit and her hair was matted down to her head with blood, and her clothes were all stained and dirty and she was covered with bruises and track marks and shit. she came up and she was really eloquent and just said "I'm sorry to bother you and I understand I look like death, but I'm really sick and I'm really tired and hungry and I want a meal, something that I didn't find inside the dumpster in the alleyway where I usually sleep."

I think i gave her a 20 (well...not really, like a toonie or something)