Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[BearCousin]

tell her she's ugly

[jayrock]

Express your undying love for her in a handwritten note while calling/texting her multiple times a day non-stop

[haptronic]

It's super close with her, she's got some amazing qualities,

And Cameron - it is kinda awesome.

much more than kinda awesome. i am older than you and my gf is 22 while there are sometimes differences based on the age difference, i feel like we have so much more in common and enjoy each other so much that it more than makes up for it.

if i think about relationships with women closer to my age and women older, i can't remember never having differences and never having doubts based on expectations, like the ones you express.

i have enough experience to know that you never can tell what we happen with any person as you both grow, and enough years on me to know that you never stop growing [at least i haven't yet, just because i have experienced more does not necessarily mean i am right all the time.

she is already moving in with you, you may as well make the most of it, have fun love life and each other.

[OkayOkay]

damn Hap, much appreciated. Forreal.

I'd most likely have issues or hesitations with anyone, of any age, like you mentioned...I have a bad habit of overanalyzing things and missing the bigger picture. Not seeing the forest through the trees concept.

put a smile on my face man. Thx.

[homi29]

Listen to tupac bout women

[t3hcoke]

holy shit he has hair

[program]

4 year relationship. We live together, things are good. We are pretty happy but we know each other pretty well by now so the "shine" is wearing off I guess.

Still into her but in the past month have had 3 hot women be very aggressive with offers for no strings attached sex. First two I flirted with for fun/ego until the moment of truth at which point I felt guilty and had to deny. Last one is a bartender at the joint I frequent every week (with my friends; gf doesn't ever go there). She knows I have a gf and doesn't care... said as much to my face without prompting. I'm pretty sure she wants to hit and quit but you can never be sure. I was already attracted to her but made no overt moves because I'm not trying to fuck up my relationship intentionally.

Doesn't help that had a recent fight with gf over going out late with coworkers for Friday night post-work decompression, telling gf I'd be home at 10 and then rolling in at 1am.

I've never cheated and always prided myself on that but can't stop thinking about this girl... don't know what it is. Her and my gf fairly equal in terms of hotness but bartender 22 gf 30. I could keep it a secret but it would have to be forever... I'm worried that either way I will have massive regrets (passing up wild sex in my mid 20s or cheating on my potential future wife).

The ideal situation would be for me to deny and be good with that.. no regrets on the last 2 I passed up but I can tell this one could haunt me.

p.s.: bartender and I both love drugs so there'd probably be molly involved.

Edited March 13, 2012 by program

[cameron-]

you are already betraying your girl emotionally/intellectually. sack up and get rid of one of them, but you already knew that right?

[program]

ehhhh i was hoping someone who's been there would say it's not worth it and that I wouldn't regret it if I deny #3...

i know i have to make a choice and have been confronted with similar choices before but it's never been a tough decision... I wish this one wasn't either not sure what's different.

[djrajio]

you're not that much into your current gf.

plain in simple.

like you said. the shine is off. ho-hum.

be real with yourself.

are you planning on marrying ur gf?

perhaps its time to start playing the field again.

[Dropt]

About the whole age difference thing : I'm 23 and my gf is 30, it's clear that our priorities are differents in the long term for now but we're just taking our time and see how to deal with that in one or two years. We had our lows but we're having such good times now that I wouldn't trade that relationship over a 22 years old night stand for miles. Totally worth the commitment. But again, each relationship is different, just sharing my cents.

Edited March 13, 2012 by Dropt

[djrajio]

who am I talking with program or dropt? both of you are 23 and have 30 year old gf?!?

[Concerned Parent]

Been dating a girl for about 5 months now. Objectively, she's got almost everything I want: cute, considerate, smart, amazing in bed... but for some reason or another, she just doesn't completely do it for me. I like most things about her, but I never think about her except when she's with me. This is girl A.

Breaking it off should be the obvious answer. But enter two complications. I live in a dorm and on my floor there is another girl... not nearly as cute, but whose personality I really really dig. I know she's into me and I'm beginning to realize that I actually legitimately like this girl B. Now girl A has been aware of girl B and has made it known to me that she's incredibly jealous of B (since we hang around so much and get along so well) for the past month. I can't possibly break it off with A and get with b without coming off like a HUGE asshole... I basically spent the past month convincing A that there was nothing going on between me and B, but I realize now that I am developing feelings for B. Secondly, the biggest dilemma, springbreak is coming up in 3 weeks; A and I have already decided a few weeks prior to go back and live at my house.

Here's the kicker, she's from a foreign country and we have already bought plane tickets back home... Cue Gob Bluth: "I've made a huge mistake". Tickets non-refundable and if I bail I don't know what she'll do for springbreak. What2do?

Edited March 13, 2012 by Concerned Parent

[program]

Nah I'm 26...

I am seriously considering marrying her; I've had a few long term relationships and she's the best by far. I guess I'm a cynic but I figure the shine comes off sooner or later with everyone, doesn't mean there isn't real value in the relationship... just my opinion and it probably says a lot about me but at some point if you want to get married and have a family and you're a successful fairly good looking guy you're going to have to make some sacrifices. It's pretty easy to say sever/move on/play the field until you're ready but is anyone ever ready? Is any guy going to stop being attracted to women in general for-fucking-ever?

I only see myself becoming objectively more attractive (at least superficially) as time goes on and I'm not a social recluse so I don't think this problem is going away regardless of who I am with long-term. In all 3 instances this past month I have not been "looking for it" at all... made zero moves just responded politely/sociably to people who came up to me.

I know this is crux of cheating; it's why you see dudes with "picture perfect lives" throwing it all away for something new. I don't expect anyone to solve this issue (obviously) but I guess I want to know (1) is it realistic to think I can stonewall forever (2) if I do will I regret it and (3) if I decide to stonewall in this case how do I get myself to stop thinking about this girl?

Edited March 13, 2012 by program

[jayrock]

Getting married at 26 to start a family with some dried up old vagina sounds like the worst idea ever

That may be a woman's sexual peak but the logistics of child bearing / raising kids seems terrible

Edited March 13, 2012 by jayrock

[Dropt]

You'll get to it eventually, so who cares if it's at 26 or 35 ?

Let the man decide by himself, not everybody wants to be a pick-up artist forever.

Edited March 13, 2012 by Dropt

[jayrock]

I would be more concerned with the woman's "clock" for obv reasons

eh it's prob whatever though

Edited March 13, 2012 by jayrock

[boy better know]

someone very wise once told me not get into a serious relationship until you reach age 30-35, ie your peak

until then, seeing mutliple women at once and dating around is encouraged

but you don't wanna waste the best years of life (literally) with one beezy (some exceptions apply)

[djrajio]

someone very wise once told me not get into a serious relationship until you reach age 30-35, ie your peak

until then, seeing mutliple women at once and dating around is encouraged

but you don't wanna waste the best years of life (literally) with one beezy (some exceptions apply)

very wise man indeed.

[arem]

I spent my almost all of my 20's in a monogamous relationship. It was great at the time and I don't regret it, but in the end it ended really badly and I really went off the deep end for a couple of years. A couple of glorious, drinking, drugging, screwing everything that moved years. I do wish that I hadn't wasted my energy on that relationship for so long, but that's how you learn.

Anyway, when you are in your 20's it's hard to really know what you want long term out of yourself, much less out of someone else. I would never discourage anyone from trying a relationship when you are young, but if you are on the fence err on the side of keeping your options open. Life is long, see what there is to see before you narrow your choices. And don't get married in your 20's.

[program]

thanks; appreciate that.

been thinking on it and I don't want to break it off at this point... things aren't actually bad although my first post might have made it seem that way. i'm still into her and we make each other happy.

if i was thinking pure strategy (which i'm not) i figure it would be stupid to break off something good on the assumption that the above 3 recent encounters were not anomalies. not trying to set myself up for lots of alone time with a bottle wishing i could go back in time and not push away people who love me.

only trouble is this bartender... i know I'm going to see her again a lot cause it's my coworker's favorite spot. smart move is probably to not go back there (intellectual/emotional cheating!!!) but fuck it. will report back as developments occur.

[Dropt]

Great post arem. Keep in mind that age is just a number, this shouldn't be your main concern/reason keeping you from trying things, being dating out or settling down.

[djrajio]

Ugh. Gotta narrow down my choices in women. Kinda seriously dating this 29yr old but girl doesn't speak any English. Annoying. But smoking hot. And good in bed. And very sweet. But kinda naive. Dismalfailure met this bizzy.

1) 26yr old middle-office girl. Cute but not sexy. Conservative and picky about what she eats (hates seafood! doesn't eat shrimp, etc) American born but grew up in south-Asia international school then back in Japan for college so speaks fluent English which is nice. But girl not good in bed. And smells when naked. Basically the dealbreaker. Dunno how to tell her. Kinda blowing off her texts for a couple weeks.

2) 26yr old ANA flight attendent. Big breasts, cute face but not smoking hot. Met her at gokon and basically made out with her at ni-ji-kai. Took her back to my place but was so wasted I fell asleep in my bathroom. Haha. Basically down for whatever but always out of town due to work on the weekends. Speaks reasonable English.

3) 23yr old investment banker girl. Met her at the club and proceeded to lay game. Pretty hot. Graduated from Columbia top of her class, so smart, speaks fluent English. Somehow my poor wit and charm convinced her to ask for my number. Rejected her and told her to find me on facebook. She did and proceeded to ask me out. Lol. Meeting her on Tuesday.

4) 23yr old D&G sales assistant. Met her at friends party. Has an inferiority complex, which I used playfully to my advantage. Looks are ok. Speak ok English. Seems nice but young and naive. Into fashion and has decent stlye which is good. Meeeting her for date next Friday. Though I think some dude at the party already did her.

I think there is a bunch more but I don't remember...

[mr.invincible]

i need pics of all of those girls otherwise im calling bs regardless of your reps here. edison chen style

[djrajio]

why would i lie about this?

[djrajio]

I'll provide photos later. Market is moving. Usd offered across the board.

[Lozinski]

holy crap there are some people trying to give out advice that have no game whatsoever (oceansect)

also, just getting this shit in my content for the promised pics of said 'ok, kind of hot, cute but not hot and something like shtanky pussy girl' by djrajio

[OCEANSECT]

^lol i started typing some shit about "what that shit works for me..." but then i looked and said wtf am i typing...

though i def don't have any game its true

Edited March 15, 2012 by OCEANSECT

[Lozinski]

[OCEANSECT]

(ﾉ ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ ♥

idk what any of these faces mean