Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[howl]

maybe so sschad but they never seem to be the kind of girls i match with.

or i'm just shit at establishing that expectation straight off the bat - either way i'm not too fussed for a hookup.

 

she seems keen, hmu first with the line "dance with me".

then i said something like oh tell me your routine.

"i think we should start with a sensual tango and then fade into a light twerk".

got no flirt game on text so i just said something safe and suggested a date (+ hit up the dfloor after) and she said yeah.

 

i was thinking of hitting up the bowling alley or hang out at the botanical park before anything else?

[FatCook]

idk if its just me but a botanical park before all of that seems a weeee bit tame from what I'm reading here, gauging by what she's saying something more physical might work but what the hell do I know.

 

I'm in my mid 20s and gone out with 18 y/o's before and I do agree they're kinda variable/jumpy with what they want, kind of "finding out who you are" and all of that. Heck I don't even remember what stupid shit I wanted when I was 18, much less what I wanted in relationships. 

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

maybe so sschad but they never seem to be the kind of girls i match with.

or i'm just shit at establishing that expectation straight off the bat - either way i'm not too fussed for a hookup.

 

she seems keen, hmu first with the line "dance with me".

then i said something like oh tell me your routine.

"i think we should start with a sensual tango and then fade into a light twerk".

got no flirt game on text so i just said something safe and suggested a date (+ hit up the dfloor after) and she said yeah.

 

i was thinking of hitting up the bowling alley or hang out at the botanical park before anything else?

 

1) low expectations

2) don't overthink it

3) see 1 

 

you seem to be putting way too much thought into a tinder h/u. i like how we're all trying to be 'botanical garden?' 'ice skating?' when you're probably perfectly fine just doing the standard date +dfloor routine. you can be creative if she still gives enough of a shit to hang around after the 4th date. 

Edited February 4, 2016 by po_boy_fuuma_hatesbürgerz

[howl]

its a fair point.

[ProfMonnitoff]

yea this sounds like a low effort thing is fine

 

but really its more about you, what do you want to do? just do that. its ok to have some drinks and hook up, its also ok to want to get to know her more, do whichever suits you and see if she wants that also, if not whatever move on. 

 

b urself!!!~~~

[ken shinoda]

Netflix and chill, bruhhh

[e0d9n0b5]

Netflix and chill, bruhhh

rofl more like netflix and pay attention bc there are subtitles 

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

rofl more like netflix and pay attention bc there are subtitles 

 

there's a difference between netflix and fuck, and netflix shut the fuck up i'm watching this

[Nebulae]

isn't that the joke?

[CHINESEGOLD]

shout outs to the girls with yellow fever who make life easy

[the breaks]

is that an actual thing?

[Majotaur]

I've recently got into the habit of only using my superlikes on azn girls. 

 

Have only actually met one girl on tinder before though and it was awkward. She was too like nice, plain and level headed for me.

[Fuuma]

Milspex is bringing in the fun, he needs to post more so this place stays (stupidly) relevant.

[Chubacca]

is that an actual thing?

 

I'm asian an it's not an actual thing

[herpsky]

yea pretty bad idea, i did some of this a while ago and having to put up with a young girls insecurities is very draining no matter how soft her skin is. i'm mid 20s now and probably wouldn't be interested in dating a girl more than 2-3 years younger than me.

 

for date ideas i don't really like meeting at a restaurant/bar/coffee place first thing, its much nicer to do some kind of activity first. if theres some art thing you want to go to  then sure, but normal stuff is fine also, it really doesn't matter too much. ive had good dates at an aquarium, going ice skating, all kinds of stuff i wouldnt be interested in doing on my own. its just nice if the conversation slows down a bit and you can say "hey look at that cool fish over there" or whatever.

 

if youve been talking to her on tinder for a few days then probably you already know a few things that she likes so just pick one of those that youre also ok with and propose that, if she wants to do something else she'll tell you and that's also fine.

 

and about getting into relationships from tinder yeah sure why not, obviously the app isnt really built for that but once you meet up and youre talking to someone in person what's the difference? i met my current girl irl, one before that on tinder, i don't see how it's any different. 

 

i'm dating a 21 yo and she borin af!

[CHINESEGOLD]

I'm asian an it's not an actual thing

probably cuz u gross

[howl]

tinder date with an 18yr old, a terrible idea?

 

she told me to come out one night to the clubs but its a shit crowd. also felt like it was a cop-out idea by her so i said i couldn't and we rescheduled. on the day itself, we're supposed to go for dinner before heading to a bar so i'm just confirming it. says she's down before doing a 180 within the same minute to say she gotta raincheck cause her mate 'just got dumped and she's super sad ( xx'.

yeah so fuck that i guess.

 

besides, the week made itself better when i went out with another match. we had breakfast in the morning, went for a walk, stopped by a park at just spoke and chill for a couple hours before getting lunch again. there was a moment during lunch where we weren't saying anything but she reached her leg under the table to brush it against mine and smiled but yeah i think we'll see each other again.

[jayrock]

Standard

[Fycus]

 there was a moment during lunch where we weren't saying anything but she reached her leg under the table to brush it against mine and smiled but yeah i think we'll see each other again.

 

wearing wife beaters and wide leg trousers might get rep on the internet but for the sake of being real with you if you want a second date and weren't already friendzoned from the cringe im reading above id go for a more conservative approach. 

[david10d]

lv manbags don't help either btw

[gettoasty]

that's nice howl 

 

fycus: i can understand why it may be cringe worthy but i think it's kind of cute actually. and wth does your dress have anything to do with it. i'm assuming he is dating girls that share some same interests. 

[SSchadenfreude]

wearing wife beaters and wide leg trousers might get rep on the internet but for the sake of being real with you if you want a second date and weren't already friendzoned from the cringe im reading above id go for a more conservative approach. 

 

was he wearing that on the d8?  mayb she like northern soul

[SSchadenfreude]

 

 

 wth does your dress have anything to do with it. i'm assuming he is dating girls that share some same interests. 

it matters and didnt he meet her on tinder?

[gettoasty]

i would think online dating means keeping an open mind to who you're matched with, whether by choice or the algorithms behind the screen. i just don't think so much emphasis should be made on what you're wearing that day of the date. of course looks matter for that first impression but i thought fycus was talking strictly about his way of dress. nothing wrong with wearing a wife beater and wide leg trousers if you can pull it off. aren't these online dates suppose to be on the casual side anyways, at least the first meet. people can tell if you are comfortable in your own skin and IMO that is more than anything a positive signal.

 

* * *

 

i met up with a friend of a friend and got some great feedback on coffee meets bagel. gives me hope. 

[howl]

wearing wife beaters and wide leg trousers might get rep on the internet but for the sake of being real with you if you want a second date and weren't already friendzoned from the cringe im reading above id go for a more conservative approach. 

not saying it's right, but schad's right. when you swipe based on a headshot & and someone shows up "internet approved" it may illicit a "huh, wha?"

 

i mean fycus, i'm not sure how you came to the conclusion that wife beaters and wide legs was what i wore to the date (because i never ever mentioned it) but if you have to know; a white collared blouse with no buttons, worn tucked in into black dress trousers and a pair of leather sandals. maybe that should give you an idea about whether i should be friend-zoned even though i don't see it as any sort of thing to be ashamed about if i do.

 

i'm sure anybody who ever matched with me can make some sort of accurate guess as to the sort of person they might meet. i'm not shady about it and i guess that makes it easier for me to not be so worried about what i should wear or what i shouldn't other than whether i feel good and confident in whatever i'm in for that day. to be a compromise of your own self would be such a shame for the sake of a woman who would definitely not be right person for you, if she felt uncomfortable about the way you presented yourself.

 

anyway, she was surprisingly interested enough in what i wore and complimented me so i guess that's that.

and besides, i had a good date.

[FinleyB]

..........................

 

.............are u gonna bang doe

[e0d9n0b5]

i mean fycus, i'm not sure how you came to the conclusion that wife beaters and wide legs was what i wore to the date (because i never ever mentioned it) but if you have to know; a white collared blouse with no buttons, worn tucked in into black dress trousers and a pair of leather sandals. maybe that should give you an idea about whether i should be friend-zoned even though i don't see it as any sort of thing to be ashamed about if i do.

 

i'm sure anybody who ever matched with me can make some sort of accurate guess as to the sort of person they might meet. i'm not shady about it and i guess that makes it easier for me to not be so worried about what i should wear or what i shouldn't other than whether i feel good and confident in whatever i'm in for that day. to be a compromise of your own self would be such a shame for the sake of a woman who would definitely not be right person for you, if she felt uncomfortable about the way you presented yourself.

 

anyway, she was surprisingly interested enough in what i wore and complimented me so i guess that's that.

and besides, i had a good date.

 

the friend zone is made up. it doesn't exist. it isn't a thing. if you 'get friend zoned' (which still isn't a thing) you done it to your own damn self. 

[gettoasty]

not saying it's right, but schad's right. when you swipe based on a headshot & and someone shows up "internet approved" it may illicit a "huh, wha?"

 

how is this the same thing? "Internet approved" was reference to dress, i thought. Your headshot is capture of yourself. Two different types of attractions, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I referenced the same thing in my post about looks being a factor more so than dress if you are going to judge someone solely on appearance. 

 

howl was not wearing a wife beater and wide leg trousers anyways, fycus was being smartass 

[SSchadenfreude]

 she was surprisingly interested enough in what i wore and complimented me so i guess that's that.

 

yo post d8-fit.

 

verbatim how exactly did she compliment you (yr jawns/fit)?

how did yr tinder girl dress?  

[howl]

 

we were talking about yoga. but then asked 'what do you think of the way you dress?'

i said it would be uninteresting of me to talk about how i dressed so i asked what she thought of it.

she said, 'i think you have good posture and that what you wear makes me think of you as a calm and collected person'.

 

she wore a black t-shirt, those summery ethnic printed full-length skirts and sandals.