Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[AriGold]

Sup Jun.H

 

funny I just moved to singapore from sydney. role reversal

[djrajio]

I'm really amazed at how long this thread has been going.

 

For those young guys that are still trying to find themselves I really recommend the podcasts at The Mating Grounds.

 

http://thematinggrounds.com/

 

Ciao!

[superBobo]

Pathetic update on this:

 

I contacted her about a month ago (skype, she was in another country), we laughed, had fun, and she said she felt better and would be up for starting to see me again (I had at the time of course started to get over her a little, but still thought of her and was happy for this outcome), and we decided that we would see eachother a month later (again, not in the same country and alot of complications). Spoke to her a couple of weeks later, where she said she changed her mind and she didnt think seeing me would be a beginning on anything but rather an end. I was bummed of course, but still wanted to see her.

 

Fastforward to this monday: met, had breakfast, walked around casually (i tried to be the nice and funny guy rather than psycho). Then we started talking, and it turned out that she had met her FUCKING EX beteween the two calls, and that was what had made her change her mind. According to her, they had met, completlety sure that they were just saying gooodbye or whatever, but had thought there still was something there. Im still ok at this point, like "ok thats fucked but i was sort of prepared". Next step is that she starts kissing me, we walks to my place hand in hand, have really passionate sex, and everything feels like before. I of course think this means something, but she leaves saying it didnt change anything: she have strong feelings for me but have decided to set these aside for trying again with her precious ex fucking boyfriend. 

 

So, summa sumarum, you cynical guys were pretty much right after all! I have a heard time being really angry at her, and feel of course heart broken again, but I hope I´ll get over it quicker now knowing there is no chance it will happen. Still, it was a shitty move acting out her feelings toward me buy sleeping with me (coupled with those loving smiles and so on, you know), but I guess thats on me as well.

 

Fuck this complicated shitty life. 

 

The end.

 

not sure if here, superconfessional or superdepressed is the best. I just got dumped (via email) by a girl ive seen since september last year, and it hurts so bad. She really is the one I want to be with/can see my future with. The whole deal was pretty much mutual love at first sight, but apparently she has had a hard time letting go of the long relationship she ended around the same time we met (june), to the the degree that she not cant have a relationship at all at "the moment" (although I dont think/hope she will get together with that guy again): I think she really likes me still, but is messed up about it. What sucks now is that I will wait for her to get in touch again when she has figured out her issues, which very well will not ever happen.  How the fuck should I cope with this? Really long time since I felt this bad, like everything good is gone from the world and I have no hope about the (super)future..

[conqueror]

the irony is i have completely fallen for a colleague since posting this and would ask her out in a heartbeat if she didn't have a boyfriend (which i only found out today). #jimandpam

 

we're now dating. #supjim

[Fycus]

Pathetic update on this:

 

I contacted her about a month ago (skype, she was in another country), we laughed, had fun, and she said she felt better and would be up for starting to see me again (I had at the time of course started to get over her a little, but still thought of her and was happy for this outcome), and we decided that we would see eachother a month later (again, not in the same country and alot of complications). Spoke to her a couple of weeks later, where she said she changed her mind and she didnt think seeing me would be a beginning on anything but rather an end. I was bummed of course, but still wanted to see her.

 

Fastforward to this monday: met, had breakfast, walked around casually (i tried to be the nice and funny guy rather than psycho). Then we started talking, and it turned out that she had met her FUCKING EX beteween the two calls, and that was what had made her change her mind. According to her, they had met, completlety sure that they were just saying gooodbye or whatever, but had thought there still was something there. Im still ok at this point, like "ok thats fucked but i was sort of prepared". Next step is that she starts kissing me, we walks to my place hand in hand, have really passionate sex, and everything feels like before. I of course think this means something, but she leaves saying it didnt change anything: she have strong feelings for me but have decided to set these aside for trying again with her precious ex fucking boyfriend. 

 

So, summa sumarum, you cynical guys were pretty much right after all! I have a heard time being really angry at her, and feel of course heart broken again, but I hope I´ll get over it quicker now knowing there is no chance it will happen. Still, it was a shitty move acting out her feelings toward me buy sleeping with me (coupled with those loving smiles and so on, you know), but I guess thats on me as well.

 

Fuck this complicated shitty life. 

 

The end.

 

He gave her the good d man, nothing you could do. She'll be searching for that the rest of her life, don't get pulled into the tornado of destruction. 

[freecat]

superBobo, good luck with moving on. it hurts and will hurt but you'll come out a stronger men.

[superBobo]

He gave her the good d man, nothing you could do. She'll be searching for that the rest of her life, don't get pulled into the tornado of destruction. 

 

i gave her the good d (wonder if she´ll tell her ex that she went home with me), but she values "the deep relationship" with her ex.

[Kaf]

^ she talked to her ex, thought it was just good bye, realized she had some feelings, probably slept together etc.

then, she talked to her ex, thought it was just good bye, realized she had some feelings, slept together.

 

this girls is a piece of work and would only have made your life worse off by doing stuff like that. i feel for you man, but i'm also happy you escaped that shit, dodging bullets left and right despite running straight at shooter kinda thing.

[Maxwell_]

Context: she cheated on me after a year and a half of dating and rationalized it by saying "well you just seemed so distant..."

Edited April 9, 2015 by Maxwell_

[superBobo]

haha, good point! She is definitly messed up. Only problem is that im in love with her, but I guess that will pass as well.

 

^ she talked to her ex, thought it was just good bye, realized she had some feelings, probably slept together etc.

then, she talked to her ex, thought it was just good bye, realized she had some feelings, slept together.

 

this girls is a piece of work and would only have made your life worse off by doing stuff like that. i feel for you man, but i'm also happy you escaped that shit, dodging bullets left and right despite running straight at shooter kinda thing.

[gettoasty]

Haven't talked to a girl in 4+ years

So miserable when thinking about it, but living day to day I don't think I really feel it. Unless the odd chance I show up at friends home and everyone is chilling in pairs except me. whatevee happened to mingling at social functions? Everyone is like joined at the hip

Ex still keeps in touch. She was the only one that wished me a happy bday. I replied with a 'thank you.' I know her bday is coming up but can't remember it. Feel kind of bad now but I've been trying to stay MIA for the longest time. It'll pass and nothimg will come of it.

I probably felt more deep in the hole when I was reading news feeds from friends and acquaintances than now not speaking to no one. Living life like a hermit. I can't say it was planned but actions (or inaction) speak louder than words.

[superBobo]

^^^any online dating thoughts? I dont think its the best way to meet someone you really like, but an easy way to get into the habit of "talking to girls", or perhaps hook up.

[thefuture]

ya i smash tinder just to talk to girls.  otherwise i'd only speak to same people every week.

[superBobo]

^^ a 39 year old costume maker for the theater suggested drinks. What to do?

[Kaf]

how old are you? relatively same age? you seem like you are 23.

[only_time]

^ gonna need deux to weigh in

[Kaf]

i've also been having relationship problems myself.

 

i've been talking to another sufu user through chat/pm etc. for the last couple months, and it always seems like we are going to finally go on a sufu meet up date. but it never materializes

 

Neti I just want to buy you some crepes dog.

[mp201]

I'll bite.

 

Started dating girl in highschool. 16. Date 4 years. Get engaged last October at disneyland. Month or so ago I have a dream that she's cheating on me. Check her facebook. She's cheating. She'd been with some dude online for a few months. Relationship over. That's where I'm at. Have no clue how to date as a 20 something so this has been a weird few months.

 

now isn't that fucked to the max

Edited April 10, 2015 by mp201

[Fycus]

Be thankful you are only 20 something, take some time to recuperate and then hit the grind man

[superBobo]

how old are you? relatively same age? you seem like you are 23.

 

 

Love you guys. Im 33, soon 34, and with that perspective (i.e. a buch of relationships of various importance behind me), I can tell you it doesnt get any easier to like/love someone and have it dissapear. Only difference is that I know Ive been able to handle it before. On the other hand, I also know how statistically rare it is to me someone you really like...

[FatCook]

one of my fears in life, settling down just for the sake of settling down.

[Champion champs]

I'm preparing to end my relationship of two years or so. Half of that has been long distance, and it has been this awful charade of trying in vain to make texts real emotional connections, and enduring a choppy Skype call every few weeks. We love each other, but there is just no foreseeable future in which we could be together. I'm waiting to finish an extremely intense semester, before I pull the plug, because I know it's going to hurt more than just thinking about it.

 

Meanwhile, I have foolishly begun seeing someone else, who, truth be told, I had been scoping enviously for like a year. I have never felt a spark like this. There so rarely is a spark. We've been on a few fun dates, and had some casual hanging out, but I've got suddenly radio silence. I am, at once, really hoping that I didn't do something wrong at our lunch, the other day, and thinking that perhaps my punishment — for stringing my gf along for a month — will be that I am merely taunted by this absolute goddess, for whose company I would happily sell a testicle, or something equally dramatic.

 

I feel like a total dick, and also wish I could just chill the fuck out.

[jamokes]

obviously wouldn't want other dudes all up in my gf, plus i just couldn't be down with any girl who'd be okay with me fuckin around.

why can't you enjoy the company of a woman who knows and accepts you completely? i know why, but i want to see your answer

[SSchadenfreude]

why can't you enjoy the company of a woman who knows and accepts you completely? i know why, but i want to see your answer

Because I've never met one who can know and accept completely.

Actually if we r being technical, I can and do enjoy the company of women who know about my fucked up shit including infidelities etc. these women are friends-fam I wouldnt fuck

Is this the answer u imagined?

[exhaust fumes]

Meanwhile, I have foolishly begun seeing someone else, who, truth be told, I had been scoping enviously for like a year. I have never felt a spark like this. There so rarely is a spark. We've been on a few fun dates, and had some casual hanging out, but I've got suddenly radio silence. I am, at once, really hoping that I didn't do something wrong at our lunch, the other day, and thinking that perhaps my punishment — for stringing my gf along for a month — will be that I am merely taunted by this absolute goddess, for whose company I would happily sell a testicle, or something equally dramatic.

 

I feel like a total dick, and also wish I could just chill the fuck out.

 

Good luck. Just go to the gym, pile yourself into whatever hobbies you're into because it'll make you seem like you've got your own life/more interesting, and in the end it's more beneficial if it doesn't work out. Playing cool is the worst thing when you feel a spark for someone, I know how it feels (I'm feeling the same way with a girl I'm with now), how rare it is, and I'm determined to not fuck this up by being too heavy vibes.

 

If you don't hear anything for a few more days (like two or three), send a feeler out some event you'd want her to go out with you/some bar/whatever that would be fun, if she blows that off, then you might have to eat it.

[jamokes]

Because I've never met one who can know and accept completely.

Actually if we r being technical, I can and do enjoy the company of women who know about my fucked up shit including infidelities etc. these women are friends-fam I wouldnt fuck

Is this the answer u imagined?

whether or not you meet a woman who can know and accept you is irrelevant

i think you know that already

you won't or can't maintain a monogamous relationship, but you can't imagine committing to a woman who would accept your philandering ways

you don't want your partner to know about your offensive behavior

if she does know and accepts it, she disqualifies herself

would you like to try again?

Edited May 22, 2015 by jamokes

[Fycus]

why do you care so much, 70% of the guys i know do the same shit its not like sschad is an exception or anything. you can ask any other guy and get the same half-cocked answer. the dude wants to get laid freely with a main bitch and fuck other girls as he sees fit. its an evolutionary trait, spread the seed. just let the man be a caveman and move on. 

[SSchadenfreude]

whether or not you meet a woman who can know and accept you is irrelevant

i think you know that already

you won't or can't maintain a monogamous relationship, but you can't imagine committing to a woman who would accept your philandering ways

you don't want your partner to know about your offensive behavior

if she does know and accepts it, she disqualifies herself

would you like to try again?

 

Tiger Woods response to the media after they found out about all of his affairs, "To the public I'm sorry, but you know I, just like most men, I want to have my cake and eat it too."

 

y u even care tho?

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

Because I've never met one who can know and accept completely.

Actually if we r being technical, I can and do enjoy the company of women who know about my fucked up shit including infidelities etc. these women are friends-fam I wouldnt fuck

Is this the answer u imagined?

 

i hope you find happiness and what you're looking for one day,

 and you hurt a minimum of people to find your happiness. 

[SSchadenfreude]

i hope you find happiness and what you're looking for one day,

 and you hurt a minimum of people to find your happiness.

Thanx man.

you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs