Superawkward

[dovo]

People who dont know they smell funny. Some lady came to my job last night smelling like she dipped herself in fuckin spaghetti. She gets to the counter im helping her. Its like she just got tit fucked by chef boyardee or something. So im almost done she looks up and says "wow how do you guys deal with all these random smells?" I give an awkward "lol" and say what do you mean? She then says "you guys let people return anything it smells like someone just cooked pasta and gave it back to you guys" I wanted to say "Bitch das you!" but I couldnt all i did was say "oooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeah that happens"

[setterman]

no, when he's smart enough to stay home and start using fucking Netflix so he don't ruin the movie I paid $13 to see

I've only had one movie experience ruined by an inconsiderate audience member. That's was enough. Now I only go to the movies a couple week's after something has come out, and during week when no one is there. Shit's too expensive, and truly good movies are too few and far between to get stuck by someone who can't blend in in public.

[syed]

Inconsiderate audience member? I still remember going to see Inception and the guy behind me started jerking off. F*ck going to the cinema in Streatham.

[stuntastic]

Never go when:

1) Groups of 12 year old girls go without their parents. (Unless you prefer that...

2) Old people have their little date mornings.

3) When families go. You know how many people they bring? I sat down first, I don't care however many people you have with you. Spread that shit out. Next time, I'm just gonna say the seat's taken. I get their early enough to get the seat I want, not to give you your last minut options. This couple moved like 3 times yesterday.

Man... Even on Wednesday's, weeks after the film is out, a handful of these fuckers are out there...

[scitsilyts]

i honestly feel this is a japanese thing... but when you run into someone that you barely know at all and that you haven't seen for a really long time and they drop the "do you remember me?" or even worse, "do you remember my name?" then it's just followed by an awkward stand of silence where i rack my brain to get their name and they stare at me with some dumb ass smirk.

i feel that people back home have the courtesy of at least dropping hints...like "hey! remember me? we met at so and so" or "remember me? I'm so and so's friend" and i'm pretty damn sure they don't go for the jugular and ask you to remember specifics like their name.

[on-display]

my little brother is going to prom this weekend...alone....shit makes me feel awkward

[Augustus]

Junior prom? Why would you ever go if you don't have a partner?

[broneck]

My vision is not what it once was. I saw a guy in the park, sitting with a girl, and I thought it was my friend. From a distance, looked very similar - pretty big build, inventory magazine-esque look, full beard. I walked over to say hi, but realized as I got closer that not only was this guy not the guy I thought he was, but he was sitting with a girl I used to date who I had not noticed before.

So I just suddenly changed direction after walking directly toward them.

[broneck]

also

ogsSovYjHGw

[on-display]

Junior prom? Why would you ever go if you don't have a partner?

senior....he's going with friends...wish he wasn't far or I'd hook it up with someones little sister

[stuntastic]

It can only be awkward if:

A) Your brother is socially awkward.

His friends are socially awkward.

C) Them as a group is socially awkward.

If he's got female friends or enough charisma to talk to people, it can't be that bad.

But, make sure he doesn't take a group photo, unless he gets partnered up with a girl.

And tell him to smile.

[twistedtrees]

when you think of something funny while alone in public and really need to laugh. i usually just take out my phone and pretend i got a funny text

that shit happens to me all the time on the train when I'm listening to a podcast or comedy album or something and just start cracking up. I used to try to hold it in, now I don't anymore

[setterman]

Never go when:

1) Groups of 12 year old girls go without their parents. (Unless you prefer that...

2) Old people have their little date mornings.

3) When families go. You know how many people they bring? I sat down first, I don't care however many people you have with you. Spread that shit out. Next time, I'm just gonna say the seat's taken. I get their early enough to get the seat I want, not to give you your last minut options. This couple moved like 3 times yesterday.

Man... Even on Wednesday's, weeks after the film is out, a handful of these fuckers are out there...

I hate that shit when large groups show up, especially after the lights have dimmed and they can't see a god damn thing. They can't talk to each other during the movie, but they insist on sitting with each other. I just give people nasty glares when they come near me, and I haven't been asked to move in a long time. Same as you, I get to the movies a good twenty minutes early to get the seat *I want*.

Broke my rules and went to see Thor Monday night. Between living in the country, and no one knowing who the hell Thor is, I just about had the entire theater to myself at the 8PM showing. First movie I've seen in 3D, BTW. Pretty neat!

[stuntastic]

Oh that's pretty awesome. I wouldn't mind watching a movie in 3D alone. It probably makes everything better, because you don't hear idiots talk about what part was 3D and what part wasn't, DURING THE MOVIE...

[wept]

enter public toilet

janitor cleaning stalls...looks at you

realisation that youll be undoing all of his hard work.

awkward.

[stuntastic]

^And it's worse when you try to be super neat and tidy, because you feel like he's watching you.

[stuntastic]

Coffee shops...

[stuntastic]

Pulling up to a stop light, I like to roll the passengers window down. As it rolls down, the person in the other car think that they have something to say to em, and looks over to double check. Putting the passenger in an awkward position, as well as the other person for looking over, as they usually just stare to "make sure" they did/n't have anything to say.

[Spaghettini]

end of day yesterday, i went to use the bathroom. one of the sales associates, a 90 pounds-soaking-wet-with-clothes-on 19 year old girl darted in front of me into the men's room and says "i'm so sorry, i really have to go". (Women's room was locked so I allowed it)

waited for her for about five minutes, and she walks out with a beaming smile and says "sorry!"

i walked in and it turns out she took a monstrous, stinky dump. streak marks in the toilet and everything.

what is the fucking point of having odor spray in the bathroom if you aren't going to use it?

[Bona Drag]

bro, out of courtesy you aint supposed to enter a bathroom right after a female uses it

[OkayOkay]

my little brother is going to prom this weekend...alone....shit makes me feel awkward

maybe the saddest thing I've read in a while.

[Spaghettini]

bro, out of courtesy you aint supposed to enter a bathroom right after a female uses it

i would have waited if i could have, but she cut me off when i needed to piss badly

[DaBestSpoona]

I hate how its "okay" for women to use the men's room at anytime, but god forbid the men's room is locked or in service and you have to use the ladies room(single toilet ones), nothing but eye daggers upon leaving.

[stuntastic]

Superawkward:

Last hot rod show I went to, it was at this venue with the smallest bathroom ever. And when those dudes gotta go, THEY GOTTA GO. They don't wait... I finish up, switch to some dude, go to wash my hand... and there's a big ass, old school, low rider cholo just lookin' at me...

AS HE'S PISSING IN THE SINK...

I like to wash my hands after I use the bathroom. All the time. I made this the exception...

[rgray]

writing a final exam a week ago. school uses warehouses lined with desks. washroom was co-ed. I go in, sit down to number 2 and of course a girl comes in and sits in the stall right next to me. that's superfuckingawkward. I knew it was a girl because in a stealth like manor I dipped my head down to inspect the shoes. if it was a dude, no problem, but I just couldn't let it out with her next to me. all I end up doing is taking a piss.

[Bona Drag]

office manager's daughter comin by work after school still wearing her cheerleading outfit

[stuntastic]

Pics?

Superawkward Retail:

When customers come in, 3 minutes before closing. They're usually A) Assholes. Not going to buy anything. C) Super nice. D) Superawkward. E) Tongue in cheek nice, saying they'll come back earlier, another time.

Suuuperawkward:

Went to the grocery store to get soup. Ran into an old buddy of mine, whom I've known since he was younger. Ends up, he's dating this girl I "dated" back between 8th grade and freshman year. We say what's up, he "introduces me to her." I'm like "yeah, I know you," in a sense where I was gonna say she's a friends friend. Rather than just being like "hm, maybe," she completely went "no I don't." Really girl? How many dudes you know named Jan? He turns to her and whispers some thing, and I just turn around and look at the soup shelf my lady and friend are looking at. Not saying bye or anything after, they walk off.

Later, they're seen in the parkinglot hugging, as if they went through a relationship, tarnishing situation.

One of the most awkward "ex girlfriend" situations ever.

Aside from:

Sitting outside a boba place, ex happens to be inside, staring at me in a philosophical "what if" kind of way. As she leaves, she darts out the door and gallops away. I'll never understand the point of the awkward bd/gf thing.

Oh, and another ex that happened to be working at the same job my current gf was working at. Which she had to train. Not awesome for me, but I'm sure they were both like, "uhhhhhhhh... So we've both seen his balls, right?"

[TTM]

man when people don't acknowledge that they've met me to gain some kind of social leverage just pisses me off.

Last week i was chillin at a bar with a girl i've been casually dating. She brought some dude friends with, one of which i met at this exact bar a few months ago. The night i first met him i was drunkenly slobbering on the chick i was with (made him real jealous apparently). I go "hey whats up, long time yadda yadda" and the guy practically yells "Man i dont fuckin know you! I never been here! shit!"

I just gave him a deadpan "my mistake." fuckin tool

[ke1]

Hearing a hit song by Elton John (fuckyoudon'tjudgeme), singing along, then realizing he's/you're singing about another du...

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

Sitting outside a boba place, ex happens to be inside, staring at me in a philosophical "what if" kind of way. As she leaves, she darts out the door and gallops away. I'll never understand the point of the awkward bd/gf thing.

yo man, dont date outside the species