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scoki

Superawkward

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I'm not sure if my name is really easy to remember or something but I do not remember dude's names in class...and then its those people that will repeat your name when they talk to you and say hi and I feel like an ass.

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i told an embarrassing (made up) story on a radio station to win some prizes.

turns out one of the girls im dealing with's mom listens to the station and the girl told her it was me!

Also, everyone at my brother & dads work knows the story haha

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I was shitting in my dorm's bathroom a few days ago...enjoying my private time and the relief that comes with shitting. Then some dude walks in, fucking slams open the stall next to me, and proceeds to diarrhea some loud stinky shit.

The most awkward part was that we both finished at around the same time and washed our hands quickly while trying really hard not to look at each other.

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I'm not sure if my name is really easy to remember or something but I do not remember dude's names in class...and then its those people that will repeat your name when they talk to you and say hi and I feel like an ass.

this happens to me all the time, catches me way off guard when people call me by name in a class.

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sitting on the E train today, a large group of 6-7 year olds, accompanied by three adults (two young adults, one older lady) trying to herd these little kids. obviously on some kind of field trip. and everyone is smiling, looking at the kids, including this older hispanic lady with like, a red triangle around her mouth (like some sort of allergic reaction)..

the train is crowded so all of the kids are standing, but as people get to their stop seats open up and some of the kids are able to hop onto the seat, including one little boy who sits next to the hispanic woman.

i noticed the woman starts stroking his head gently, and then puts her arm around him. at first i thought "oh i guess she's with the field trip? chaperone? must be her kid" until the older woman who actually WAS with the kids walks over and says "PLEASE DONT DO THAT" then yanks the little kid away from her, to which the hispanic woman responds "i sorry"

and then i accidentally made eye contact with the woman and boooooooy was that awkward

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I was shopping at serranonte (I know) and this dude comes up to me and goes, "hey! you went to xxxxxxxx high school right?"

I'm horrible with names but good with faces but I didn't recognize him at all. so I apologize only to find out we didn't know each other at all he just recognized me..I guess we had mutual friends? was really weird after

once this girl approached me and I knew her but denied it over and over and she's like are you sure you look soooo much like her! then my friend calls out my name, "you ready to go?" like, shit x.x

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Guest jmatsu

this super hot jap tourist farted cause she thought no one was around, but i was.

if she was old or not attractive i would hated on her...

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this super hot jap tourist farted cause she thought no one was around, but i was.

if she was old or not attractive i would hated on her...

did you make eye contact?

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once this girl approached me and I knew her but denied it over and over and she's like are you sure you look soooo much like her! then my friend calls out my name, "you ready to go?" like, shit x.x

damn that is a horrible situation

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Guest suckdick

yeah i called blackbird to order some vibskov and in order to get sufu discount, i had to tell the sa my username, and it was a girl, so she asked "what's your username"

so i just spelled my username cause it be awkward if i just say it so i said "s-u-c-k-d-i-c-k" and she's like "oh"

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lost a bit of weight
nearing morbid obesity

you like fat chicks.

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yeah i called blackbird to order some vibskov and in order to get sufu discount, i had to tell the sa my username, and it was a girl, so she asked "what's your username"

so i just spelled my username cause it be awkward if i just say it so i said "s-u-c-k-d-i-c-k" and she's like "oh"

It would have been even kind of funny if your username was isuckdick and she had to repeat it as she confirmed your order, "OK, I suck dick. It should be there in three to five business days.".

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so technically "ice-breakers" are meant to break the

awkwardness between strangers who have just met,

but my experience has proven this to be completely opposite.

I don't really buy into stuff like that, personally I prefer to just strike up a conversation. You can never go wrong with an introduction and a conversation. :)

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It was raining heavily one day as I was shopping in Chinatown. I don't remember how it happened--it may have been the wind--but the handle snapped off my umbrella. I couldn't just trash it since it was windy and raining steadily--besides the canopy still worked.

So I walk into this one store and check out what they have. I'm getting the lay of the land so I'm walking up and down this place. About five minutes in, I start to feel eyes on me. This is normal for a black guy in Chinatown, so I thought nothing of it.

After a while, a worker comes up to me and asks, "Excuse me. are you okay?". I had no Idea what she was talking about, is this some code I don't know about?

"I'm fine, I'm just looking" (I hated that line, when I was on the other side of the register too)

"Are you sure? You're hand is bleeding. Do you need to go to a hospital?"

"What?"

I look down and see droplets of blood going *drip* *drip* from the hand clutching the umbrella. I retrace my steps with my eyes and follow a path of red dots on the floor. Needless to say, I was disgusted at myself and SEVERELY mortified.

I then realized that the POS umbrella with the exposed metal shaft was digging into my palm as I struggled against the wind. Luckily, they were too kind about it and offered me napkins to clean my hand. When I offered to help clean up, they emphatically told me "No, no, don't worry about it!". I figure I also wouldn't want some bleeding dude in my store any longer than necessary.

After a few more: You need to go to a hospital?s I explained to them what happened and thanked them for their gracious attitude. The wound was deeper than I thought and really didn't stop bleeding, so I decided to call it a day and head back home while concealing my leaking hand.

I thought about going back with a thank you card or something but do I go in and say, "Remember me? I was the guy that left a blood trail on your floor"?

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same thing happened to me with this video

-k98bRUOb4g

Maybe they will get this one?

VHdvruqZwz4

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for the second sitting for my tattoo:

the day I went in, it was snowing in NYC something awful, so I wore my black timberlands (which were at the time the only boots I owned which were winter-worthy). When I got to the place, which is on the 3rd floor, I left my boots in the hallway because they were covered with snow and salt and I didnt want to track that into the hardwood floors indoors.

Needless to say, some asshole stole them. So there I am, 28 degrees, 6pm on a saturday on the upper west side, sleet and snow falling, and maybe 4 inches of snow on the ground already, my back covered with saran wrap.

Do you know how hard it is to get a cab in NYC in a snowstorm while shoeless and wearing plastic bags on your feet?

AWKWARD!

So I walked to harry shoes and walked in, and the place is packed and immediately the whole store looks at me with my plastic shopping-bag-covered feet which by now are frozen solid. Needless to say THAT was awkward as well. Although the other customers got a laugh. I also convinced them to give me 20% off a new pair of timbs that weren't on sale :)

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Hmm where do I start?

Was having the usual sex with the FB. All was good until I changed from missionary to dog style....I was humping halfway until I noticed a tiny piece of toilet paper stuck to her asshole. Really turned me off. I died down slowly with her asking me "whats wrong, u dun like it?" constantly. Of course I said no...nothing wrong..its me I am tired. Awkward moments of silence continues....never finished it and that night was supposed to be PIITB night. LOL

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Penis In The Tight Butt ?

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I went to a festival thing today and while standing in line a drunk (I think) girl started touching me. She said, "Hi" and "Hi" was all I could say back. I had never met her before and i'm shy so it was really awkward.

In the festival I had a packed cigarillo so I was just smoking random people up and at one point a 40ish (he had some gray hair) Indian guy came up and wanted to hit it really bad, so eventually I let him. Other than about 4 or 5 older guys, everyone else (200+) was college or younger.

Oh wait, almost forgot the fact that a dude undressed and started dancing on a table. People cheered him on, I was in close proximity and feared being pissed on.

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my apologies, I had a typo

PIITB is Put it in the butt

FB is Fuck Buddy

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Just goddamn people. Why are people, in general, so awkward? Just go say hi to some random and 9/10 times they'll look at you with this dumbfounded look on their face. Or have an Omegle conversation. Human beings are just uncomfortable by nature I think. You know what I'm talking about. Anyone in retail or food service definitely knows.

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This:

On a gay dating site, I came across a new profile by a 48 yo man from Austria, who had a 1980 wedding picture as the only pic. A woman in a flowery dress and bouquet, a man in a grey suit with huge glasses. The text reads: Looking for horny guys, I'll do anything you want.

It had to be a joke. I sent the man a message saying I wanted his wife, how much does she cost. I get a reply back saying she unfortunately passed away last year, but it's the only pic he has.

When I answer "let this not be true", he replies that's it's the truth but he can't prove it online. And gives me his phone number.

I haven't called.

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this begs the question what you are doing on a gay dating site?

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