Superawkward

[MichaelJJCC]

I was under a table cleaning at my work the other day and saw nome nice corny white girl legs in leggings and peeped her bum.

 

Nice.

 

Then I peeped the face.

 

It was a fucking dude.

Wearing tights and ugg boots.

 

 "I didn't know she was a guy...I didn't know" and put his face in his hands and started shaking his head...

[travisio]

https://vine.co/v/hBITBIgEKn7

 

i felt terribly awkward watching this

[bobbyzamora]

couple weeks ago i was in zumiez looking at some vans. employee there notices my cdbs and asks me where i got them. i tell him and then he knelt down and kind of felt the shoes, and i swear that he flipped the cuff on my jeans to check for selvage. (they weren't selvage)

 

was so fucking weird

Edited July 1, 2013 by tPRoC

[t3hcoke]

DID U BANG DOE?

[travisio]

I was in the laundry room loading the washing machine. No one was around and "New York, New York" popped into my head so I started singing the hook.

 

"I got a hunnid guns a hunnid clips, nigga I'm from New Yoooork, New Yoooooork. I got a semi-automatic that spits next time if you taaaaalk, you taaaalk"

 

I turned around and this lady was standing in the doorway just watching me. I must've sung hook like 20 times without noticing her. When we made eye contact she hesitated for a few seconds and walked away.

 

Did not bang doe. 

 

Edited July 2, 2013 by travisio

[rallizes]

A couple of the guys are chilling and dabbing and poor Kevin, who had never dabbed in his life, decides that he wanted in.

"You sure, man? This is really intense."

"Yeah, I've smoked before. It's all right. My tolerance is super high."

He hits three dabs and he's done. Like glassy-eyed, soullessly high.

Until he opens his mouth and says,

 

"Guys... I think I'm gay."

 

While we're laughing our asses off, he grabs a huge jar of cheese balls and locks himself in the bathroom.

 

We're knocking on the door and shit, but no response. We give up, but three hours later he comes out with an empty jar of cheese balls.

 

He denies it all

[Fuuma]

A couple of the guys are chilling and dabbing and poor Kevin, who had never dabbed in his life, decides that he wanted in.

"You sure, man? This is really intense."

"Yeah, I've smoked before. It's all right. My tolerance is super high."

He hits three dabs and he's done. Like glassy-eyed, soullessly high.

Until he opens his mouth and says,

 

"Guys... I think I'm gay."

 

While we're laughing our asses off, he grabs a huge jar of cheese balls and locks himself in the bathroom.

 

We're knocking on the door and shit, but no response. We give up, but three hours later he comes out with an empty jar of cheese balls.

 

He denies it all

You should have sucked his dick, you're not a very good friend.

[junglejane]

I was in the laundry room loading the washing machine. No one was around and "New York, New York" popped into my head so I started singing the hook.

 

"I got a hunnid guns a hunnid clips, nigga I'm from New Yoooork, New Yoooooork. I got a semi-automatic that spits next time if you taaaaalk, you taaaalk"

 

I turned around and this lady was standing in the doorway just watching me. I must've sung hook like 20 times without noticing her. When we made eye contact she hesitated for a few seconds and walked away.

 

Did not bang doe. 

 

 

daaaamn this same thing happened to me today

as usual I was the last person out of the office today

everyone had gone home

 

so I gathered my things and walked down the stairs on autopilot singing "purple rain" loudly and with soul

 

I get to the bottom of the stairs (enjoying the echo effect  the stairwell provided while descending) and bam my boss was right at the bottom of the stairs fiddling with the fax machine

 

as soon as we make eye contact he grabs some random papers (some of them were completely white) and speed walks out pretending to be busy

 

I did not give 1/4th of a fuck but I think he was super embarassed for me which makes it crazy awkward

[fobsquad]

people should sing good songs out loud more often. it's not awkward really unless you have horrible intonation

[symbebekos]

I went to the vet to pick up Vectra for my dog, and the chill girl working there asked me what her name was, and I said Zoey. She was like ah, I'm going to need your last name, we have so many Zoeys in our system. I said yeah, it's a fucking dumb name but she's a three year old rescue, if I renamed her she would have been confused, but I'd never have named her 'Zoey' myself, obviously. 

 

She was like Zoey is my sister's name. 

 

awkwarddddddddd

 

She was cool about it, but I left feeling like I owed her a fruit basket or something. 

[Nov Spur]

^ Never buy a woman you're not fucking a fruit basket. Scratch that, never buy a woman a fruit basket. 

[Juicy]

A couple of the guys are chilling and dabbing and poor Kevin, who had never dabbed in his life, decides that he wanted in.

"You sure, man? This is really intense."

"Yeah, I've smoked before. It's all right. My tolerance is super high."

He hits three dabs and he's done. Like glassy-eyed, soullessly high.

Until he opens his mouth and says,

 

"Guys... I think I'm gay."

 

While we're laughing our asses off, he grabs a huge jar of cheese balls and locks himself in the bathroom.

 

We're knocking on the door and shit, but no response. We give up, but three hours later he comes out with an empty jar of cheese balls.

 

He denies it all

You had a dude who has never dabbed hit 3 dabs? That's fucked up lol one would've been more than enough.

[denimdestroyedmylife]

when i was thirteen or fourteen, the height of my strained relations with my father, i bought him the most over-the-top purple-prosed father's day card - thinking he'd see my sarcastic intent. instead he read the card and looked right into my face and asked me in this voice that was crackling with suppressed emotion if i really meant what was written in the card. i could tell that he wanted me to say yes, and that if i told him that it was just a joke it would destroy him.

 

there was no way i could backpedal at this point so i replied that i meant every word. he hugged me and cried these heavy sobs and i felt like the worst person ever.

 

awwwwwkard...

[junglejane]

^ Never buy a woman you're not fucking a fruit basket. Scratch that, never buy a woman a fruit basket. 

 

 

whuut

man fruit is awesome

 

I would appreciate a fruit basket

[denimdestroyedmylife]

yeah

 

man fruit IS awesome

 

[travisio]

Not sure whether to post this in here or in supermeatheads.

 

In the elevator today a random guy (looked like he was in his 60s) asked me if I was a weightlifter and said I have a solid frame. I was a little too hungover to fully engage in the conversation.

 

Not gonna lie though, it went straight to my head.

Edited July 13, 2013 by travisio

[s8t47ry0k3r]

[cameron-]

Not sure whether to post this in here or in supermeatheads.

 

In the elevator today a random guy (looked like he was in his 60s) asked me if I was a weightlifter and said I have a solid frame. I was a little too hungover to fully engage in the conversation.

 

Not gonna lie though, it went straight to my head.

did you bang doe

[please underestimate]

after me and my girl went out for lunch, i dropped her off at her car in front of my house and left to go somewhere with my roommate. a minute later she called me saying she got in a car accident and right when i got back i shit myself as soon as the person she got in a car accident with came out of her car ..it was my ex

[t3hcoke]

DID YOU 3P DOE

[flyhigh]

Hmm.car in front of your house and only a minute later seems like your ex has been doing some surveillance...or your roommate

[Romano_yeah]

after me and my girl went out for lunch, i dropped her off at her car in front of my house and left to go somewhere with my roommate. a minute later she called me saying she got in a car accident and right when i got back i shit myself as soon as the person she got in a car accident with came out of her car ..it was my ex

 

I bet theres a porn movie out there that begins just like this, haha.

[philosophiliac]

well if it wasn't bad already, shitting your pants is a good way to make everyone instantly superawkward. is that why you guys broke up?

[merry burger]

I've been really stressed out lately with exams - and have been drinking way too much, especially on an empty stomach. I got carried away with doing rounds of shots with a guy I'm seeing and his roommate at last call, and when we all started walking back to his place, I somehow wandered off and got lost on the way. 

 

Even though I've been to this bar and his apartment at least 100 times at this point, I was so gone that I started sobbing because I had no idea where I was and was blacking out. A cab drove over and honked at me to get in - except I couldn't remember the guy's address. So I miraculously was functional enough to call the guy, and he magically appeared in about 2 seconds... because the distance between the bar and his apartment is about 200 feet (like seriously 5 doors away). 

 

[abracadabra]

i expected more from a merry burger superawkward story

Edited July 16, 2013 by abracadabra

[Mr. Rager]

after me and my girl went out for lunch, i dropped her off at her car in front of my house and left to go somewhere with my roommate. a minute later she called me saying she got in a car accident and right when i got back i shit myself as soon as the person she got in a car accident with came out of her car ..it was my ex

 

and what happened after? You leaving me hangin man. 

[Fycus]

I was at the laundromat tonight cleanin my jawns and all the washers were full. I hate being that guy, but a washing machine was left alone so I decided to go for it and take the clothes out so I could wash my stuff before the place closed. Low and behold, the washer is full of fucking lace panties and all kinds of neon underwear and shit. Great lol, I try to cover up the underwear with the larger items so I don't seem like a creep when I take it out. Right as I pull the stuff out and am moving it to a table, the girl who had that laundry came in and just stared at me. I set it down, she kinda gave me a lifeless stare and no words were exchanged

Edited July 18, 2013 by Fycus

[lmaozedong]

you should have sniffed them

[Magsåvningsreserven]

it's more awkward that you didn't sniff them

[djrajio]

I was at the laundromat tonight cleanin my jawns and all the washers were full. I hate being that guy, but a washing machine was left alone so I decided to go for it and take the clothes out so I could wash my stuff before the place closed. Low and behold, the washer is full of fucking lace panties and all kinds of neon underwear and shit. Great lol, I try to cover up the underwear with the larger items so I don't seem like a creep when I take it out. Right as I pull the stuff out and am moving it to a table, the girl who had that laundry came in and just stared at me. I set it down, she kinda gave me a lifeless stare and no words were exchanged

 

Did you bang doe?