sufu jerkoff-athon

[herpsky]

wake-and-jerk feels really weird. i dunno why. its hard to get it up

[ron2331]

anyone rember the name of the short story where a group of kids find a extreme way of jerking off and they end up dieing. one was with a cumcumber the other put stuff in his peehole and the other jerked under water and catch the "pearls" as they floated up.

thtas story was so fucked up.

[Guest jmatsu]

the other jerked under water and catch the "pearls" as they floated up.quote]

this should be in the next level thread. that shit would be crazy if he was actually trying to feed the fish.

[Guest jizzy p]

anyone rember the name of the short story where a group o kids find a extreme way of jerking off and they end up dieing. one was with a cumcumber the other put stuff in his peehole and the other jerked under water and catch the "pearls" as they floated up.

thtas story was so fucked up.

And the one guy got a carrot, shaved it down and lubed it up and jerked off his urethra? Yea those stories made me flinch.

I think the one where a kid dies, he puts his asshole up to pool jets, and it creates a vacuum on his ass, and when he tries to pull away, his insides get sucked out.

:confused::confused::confused:

[wEstSidE]

And the one guy got a carrot, shaved it down and lubed it up and jerked off his urethra? Yea those stories made me flinch.

I think the one where a kid dies, he puts his asshole up to pool jets, and it creates a vacuum on his ass, and when he tries to pull away, his insides get sucked out.

:confused::confused::confused:

IT WAS A CANDLEWIK, DUMY

[jeepster]

Yeah Extreme Jerk

Lets Fucking Sky Dive And Rub On Out Simultaneously.

Totally Fucking Get Off, Dood.

Then Lets Light Our Shit On Fire And Slap It Around.

Sweet.

that was in caps. but my computer isn't very leet.

also - are we sure those stories are really true and not just urban legends perpetrating?

im fine with just some good old comp porn or a mag or something.

[ron2331]

I think the one where a kid dies, he puts his asshole up to pool jets, and it creates a vacuum on his ass, and when he tries to pull away, his insides get sucked out.

o yeah that shit had me scared of pools for a while.

i tried the jerking in the beach to see if the it actually floats up to the surface . but it didnt work. ive always wanted to try it in a pool.

[seraphieL]

anyone rember the name of the short story where a group of kids find a extreme way of jerking off and they end up dieing. one was with a cumcumber the other put stuff in his peehole and the other jerked under water and catch the "pearls" as they floated up.

thtas story was so fucked up.

And the one guy got a carrot, shaved it down and lubed it up and jerked off his urethra? Yea those stories made me flinch.

I think the one where a kid dies, he puts his asshole up to pool jets, and it creates a vacuum on his ass, and when he tries to pull away, his insides get sucked out.

:confused::confused::confused:

I think this story was in some Chuck Palahniuk novel.

[Ahlvahroe]

I think the one where a kid dies, he puts his asshole up to pool jets, and it creates a vacuum on his ass, and when he tries to pull away, his insides get sucked out.

:confused::confused::confused:

i remember i had to take a lifesaving class in high school in this 12 foot deep pool. i was swimming at the bottom just thinking 'if these jets suck me down, its over.' cause i had just heard about this same thing.

but since this has nothing to do with me vigorously working my piece, i know it wont interest anyone in this thread

[rome1]

^^ I really don't think the suction on a pool jet could create the kind of force neccessary to do something so detrimental to a human being. but if it could that would be one hell of a shitty way to die.

[airportlobbytx]

True. That would be a suck-ass way to die.

[azn8oi]

i have not done anything for a week and watching 2 hours of porn continuously has made me very, very horny. i can feel it building up in my kidneys.

[dremsburg]

^^ I really don't think the suction on a pool jet could create the kind of force neccessary to do something so detrimental to a human being. but if it could that would be one hell of a shitty way to die.

Here's a story about a girl whose intestines were sucked out of her rectum, so it is definitely possible for something similar to happen at a pool

[theLorax]

which fleshlight inserts are the best?

http://www.fleshlight.com/main/category_info.php?cPath=22

since they have a buy one get one free deal, im thinking getting a wonderwave and speed bump.

[Servo2000]

a charming wee tail

Apparently people have actually passed out at readings of this story from holding their breath.

[youth_culture]

The story that was being mentioned & that tg76 posted a link to is "Guts" by Chuck Palahniuk from his book Haunted.

[macuser3of5]

Guts is weak. Can't believe it freaks people out that much.

The Box, now, that story will make you lose sleep.

[Servo2000]

Guts is weak. Can't believe it freaks people out that much.

The Box, now, that story will make you lose sleep.

This literally needs a "Will Ruin Your Head" forever spoiler tag.

But then again, that would probably SPOIL THE LULZ.

[mr fluffernutter]

Guts is weak. Can't believe it freaks people out that much.

People faint when chuck reads it at his readings

[macuser3of5]

This literally needs a "Will Ruin Your Head" forever spoiler tag.

But then again, that would probably SPOIL THE LULZ.

nah, I wasn't shooting for EPIC LULZ

[Ahlvahroe]

Guts is weak. Can't believe it freaks people out that much.

The Box, now, that story will make you lose sleep.

fuck it im reading this. ill be back in a few

ok, just read it and it didnt weird me out as bad as i thought it would. it seems like a really bad horror movie, where the bad guy wins at the end.

[ron2331]

The Box, now, that story will make you lose sleep.

its to fake to belive like magic. sounds like some x rated twlight zone shit.

[cheep]

[quote name='jmatsu;570400

quote]

your father sounds like a cool guy' date=' but seriously wasn't that alittle weird?[/quote']

yeah... it was. i didnt finish or anything... the girl just loved to suck my dick and would do it in the weirdest places...

[onemancult]

the box is such a weak story. i know i'm a sick bastard and i'm immune to these things, but i expected something better than a poorly-written encasement fantasy.

[cureOne]

where is the pink ranger rape torture fanfic? that one is better than the box

edit: here ya go, this one is way better

http://www.asstr.org/files/Collections/LEXtext/PowerRanger/Agonyin.txt

AGONY IN PINK

[onemancult]

i remember reading this when i was younger and i mean i just couldnt get over the fact that it was some geeky ass shit about the power rangers.

i think spending all my early teen years watching videos that i probably should have turned over to the authorities has hardened me against all sorts of things that make normal people shudder.

someone pass the chopped up kids, please.

[showbiz00ditc]

alrite so back to wanking...

i was doing it for the better part of reading this thread, then about halfway through reading that guts story my dad walked in the room n i guess 'caught me' i was doing it under the desk though so i dunno.

see, i do it alot, pretty much... always.

but i do it differently, i dont have to get hard and stroke. i can cum while im soft, its fucked.

you prolly wanna know how, first off im circumsized, ive explained it to my friends n they've tried n cant do it, but i grab all the skin right under my head with my thumb, pointer and middle fingers, squeeze it, and go in a circular motion.

this may have started when i was younger cause ever since i can remember ive 'jerked it' but my parents use to call it wiggling... id lie watching tv on my stomach, grind my dick into the carpet, and shake my ass back n forth lol i used to do it at school when i was really little and my little friends would try it too. people still remember me doing it hahaha it sucks.

i switched schools later on and found out my one buddy used to do the same thing lol

ive told my buddies n they didnt believe me that i was so quick....so they timed me, and i think it took me 30 seconds to go. (insert your laugh here) and i was still pretty much soft by the end.

but i can also do it for like 2 hours at a time without cumming.

last friday after work my buddy called me saying he was leaving work going home getting showered n stuff n he'd call me when he was done. i had just started jerking it when he called me first... he then called after he drove home from work and did all this stuff, and i was still going.

then i got in the shower and did it 4 or 5 more times.

when im having sex i can cum, then cum, then cum. then stop for 15 minutes... then go again.

but to answer some original questions, ive been caught a bunch of times but never like dick out stroking, exept once two weeks ago i stayed home sick from work, my dad came downstairs n it was out, but under the desk, but i was maad sweating n shit lol it was awkward, i just said turn on the air conditioning.

and i do it at least 3 times a day, AT LEAST.

if i have nothing else to do ive done around 10 times a day before.

ive always wanted to ask someone if anyone else is the same, i guess this is me asking.

[decaf]

bump

i wank off about 5 times a day

jacking off promotes healthy eye-sight

[Kodak]

^Well you must have x-ray vision then.

[decaf]

Yes plz.

Im beating my meat right now as I type this.