sufu jerkoff-athon

[Kodak]

You probably are stranger danger

[azn8oi]

you forgot (no homo) after that really long story.

oh, but please skip the 'pics or it didnt happen' rule.

[azn8oi]

we're asian... we cant use 2 hands to beat off...

he must be asian too :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Guest jizzy p]

Ahahahaha "turn on the air conditioning"

[cureOne]

well that was fucking disgusting.

[Guest]

[dismalfuture]

well that is nice but i'm more about scarlett johanssen's can.

[Analog]

[Guest DUM]

*Right-click*

*Save Image As.*

*Downloads Complete*

[onemancult]

time to share a story.

once, when i was 15 and bored, i decided to jack. and jack i did.

i jacked furiously, i jacked softly, i jacked with intent, and i jacked lackadaisically.

i jacked for about 25 minutes to some of the most jack-worthy porn a man has

ever known.

upon climax, my eyes closed, and i exploded forth with seed...

and the shot proceeded to fly straight up in the air, hang there in suspended animation

as i stared at this mysterious flying globule of spermatozoa, and then land on my face.

...

[Bona Drag]

pix/vids????

[mr fluffernutter]

omc that happens to everybody

[cureOne]

not me, what are you doing shooting it straight into the air, if it hadn't hit your face where would it have gone? just onto the floor? you people are gross

[cheep]

ive never done that jerking off... but ive pulled out before and hit myself in the face.

[onemancult]

one time i pulled out and shot her in the face from at least 3 feet back... it was amazing, right in the eye. i had eaten something spicy recently and she said it burned. so good.

[rome1]

^^I've got one for you, I pulled out and continued to rub up on her clit until I reached orgasm and that shit shot straight at her face she moved quick and it all went right in her ear and slithered down it, worst part is all i did was laugh real hard.

[onemancult]

she moved? what a pussy.

one time i pulled out and she pounced up and caught my splooge in her mouth out of the air. hottest shit ever. no porno can ever match up to that memory.

[rome1]

and thats why I didn't marry her.....

[cureOne]

I definitely was getting brain once and she pulled her head up for some reason right at the end and I shot it INTO her nostril/eye/hair, she had to go to the bathroom and blow my semen out of her nose, I've never laughed so hard in my life.

[rome1]

Fuck! worst one ever for me was gettting head while driving home and just as I blew she puked it all out and all over the shifter and passenger floor....

[buffalocloud7]

you boys are nasty! all shooting your loads everywhere and whatnot

[broneck]

It really all depends on the week....or if im bored and theres nothing to do but on average 3 or 4 times a week.

As far as getting caught when I was 16 on like a saturday or sunday i woke up really horny and i was under the covers on my stomach having some personal time and right at the best part my mom walked in and she stood there for what was like 5 seconds but seemed like forever and was like What Are You Doing?....the first thing that came to my head was."what?..im scratching my back"...lol....oh memories.....the worst part was when she left I actually finished....good times..good times

you're the devil

additionally, i missed a lot here, but whats up with jerking off and driving? i told my buddy that my normal sleep routine has been upset by waking up at 6 for work so i have a boner until like 9 am when i would usually wake up and it would go away. he suggested rubbing one out in the car on the way to work to appease this condition. i can't bring myself to do it. thoughts?

[rome1]

^^better have some dark window tinting or people are gonna be callin' you out on that shit that and an automatic car.

[Guest scruf]

^ yea and bring a tow or gloves so your hand wont be covered in it. we wouldnt want your hands to slide off the sterring wheel.

[broneck]

what the fuck is a tow? oh yeah, one time i got really drunk and high and i was just destroying this girl for a good 2 or 3 hours, and i never finished. so i passed out, and the next morning we started up again, but my dick was still kinda drunk, nothin doin...so i stopped because she said it was starting to hurt, and she just jerked me off. well, i guess the compound of not nutting the last night, and then waiting a good hour the next day just built up some huuuuuge ass pressure and suddenly BLAM!!! fucking supersoakered her face, her hair, some went in her eye...but the best part is that i also nailed my wall a good 5 or 6 feet above my bed. i wish i could've just gone to a long jump pit and measured that shit for distance.

[Guest scruf]

what the fuck is a tow? oh yeah, one time i got really drunk and high and i was just destroying this girl for a good 2 or 3 hours, and i never finished. so i passed out, and the next morning we started up again, but my dick was still kinda drunk, nothin doin...so i stopped because she said it was starting to hurt, and she just jerked me off. well, i guess the compound of not nutting the last night, and then waiting a good hour the next day just built up some huuuuuge ass pressure and suddenly BLAM!!! fucking supersoakered her face, her hair, some went in her eye...but the best part is that i also nailed my wall a good 5 or 6 feet above my bed. i wish i could've just gone to a long jump pit and measured that shit for distance.

towel. wasnt paying attention to what i was writng.

haha there should be a contest to who can shoot the longest distance

[mojinho]

i remember being in summer camp at the pool/locker room with this huge fucking boner from seeing all the cute boys, and not really knowing what it was and so not really embarrassed. there was this one cute boy that i liked and one time when we were changing in the locker room i overheard him comment to another boy how my penis was different from the other boys', it was "stiff" and "long". one time i remember i was hard and i jumped in the pool near one of those jets everyone's talking about, and i totally just had an orgasm right there in the middle of all my campmates. i don't really know if i came because i was underwater, i was probably too young to have semen at that age.

my question is, how did the camp counselors not like take me aside and be like, "cut that shit out," or something? but they didn't. nor did anyone tell my mother, as far as i know, and fuck, i'm sure as hell not about to ask her even though i'm 28.

nowadays i J/O 2-5 times a week, i'd say. when i was like 15 i used to do it 3 times in a row, but whoever said he did it 10 times a day, that's some crazy shit. i used to share a room at our beach house with my sister, but she never woke up to hear me do it because she's hearing impaired, ha ha ha. otherwise i have never been caught. in college i used to do it during my roommates classes, like right after he'd leave and i was sure he wasn't going to be back.

[showbiz00ditc]

haha i do delieveries for work n i do it while driving a bit, but have never tried to cum while driving always just waited till i got back.

haha n when i wsa younger i'd 'do tricks' with my dick like a magician, i'd be in like some silk boxers or some shit n my babysitter was there n i was like dinky stand up and i'd 'flex' it and it rose, then i said 'dinky sit down' n i'd release it lmao

the worst part was the babysitter was my cousin n her friend, n they told my dad!

edit: i guess thats what i get for chasing her around with a hockey skate one time

[showbiz00ditc]

alrite so back to wanking...

you prolly wanna know how, first off im circumsized, ive explained it to my friends n they've tried n cant do it, but i grab all the skin right under my head with my thumb, pointer and middle fingers, squeeze it, and go in a circular motion.

try it and tell me if it works, if you want.

alrite thats kinda creepy, but i still wanna know

[thelion1856]

my buddy is a cop and he says a lot of car fatalities seem to be caused by road head. There are countless of times when he or his cop buddies come up on a scene and find a dick in the dead girl's mouth or on the car floor. no fucking bullshit.