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i was outside my work smoking a cigarette when i see my ex-girlfriend walking down the street. we had dated very seriously for 3 years and it didn't end well--of course, it was all my fault. we haven't talked in 3 years.

i called out her name but she didn't even look over. she had a sad look on her face. i know she has no reason to talk to me, but it still made me feel bad.

kinda feel fucked up right now. such is life.

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i feel ya on that miz... its bad enough when is girls you have just dated for a short time, but 3 years... damn.

on that note, im kinda hoping i don run into my ex girl when im up there... she is moving to brookly today.

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I think I did something like that too... I figure I was the only one going through all the hurt while we were not speaking. I wonder how it'll be in another 2 years if I run into her...

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Hah my ex, from over a year and a half ago, we were talking about moving in together at the time. We split/stopped talking all of a sudden, and then she moves 5 blocks away from me in S. Wiliamsburg on Kent street.

It definitely feels a lot smaller that it really is.

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An ex who I had a pretty crazy relationship with in early college has been in touch with me over e-mail. I was her first, uh, lots of things, and when we broke up after dating for a little over a year she did not take it well. She was depressed for awhile, and a lot of our mutual friends blamed me for her being in that state. Her relationship with me also led to a lot of tension with her family (very religious), and she had some medical problems later on which contributed (nothing to do with me).

So that was SIX YEARS AGO. She's now married to a youth group minister, I'm still myself and engaged. She sends me a few friendly but carefully emotionally distanced e-mails congratulating me on the engagement, saying she's doing fine. I respond, and we fall into kind of the old style we had of joking, etc. No harm, no foul. I figure "It was nice hearing from her; glad she's doing OK."

Today she sends me a 500-word e-mail, complete with quoted poetry, about how she's sorry about everything, and she feels the need to tell everyone she made out OK after all, and she hates that people remember her negatively, etc., and she really must apologize to me for being so weird and blaming me--but she doesn't want people to feel sorry for her, and ain't life strange, she wants to make sure I understand, etc., etc.

Honestly, I never really cared; I never thought it was my fault she had problems. It was just a hassle. I don't really want to be involved with her "dealing with her pain." I confess I have no idea how to respond to this e-mail.

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100s.jpg

burned through four packs of cowboy killers this week after going cold turkey two years ago

guess you never really quit, huh?

take a carton into a room without windows

smoke til you can't take it

then smoke some more

smoke til you puke

maybe pay a buddy to keep you locked in til you smoke the whole carton

you'll quit or die

guess you'll do that anyway

good luck cowboy

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