superconfessional

[duck sauce]

adopt me

(1)

[fallen angels]

I dropped a bottle filled with stems and a ziploc bag filled with lighters right in front of my mother. She looked at it and walked away. I guess chinese immigrants don't know what weed is?

are they made in china? in my experience, mainlanders are kinda clueless. but those from tw and hk know wussup.

one time i was traveling in Beijing, and airport security stopped me to check my bag after it went through the x-ray. i was stressing because i had a sack in my dop kit. the security asked me to take out my dop kit and open it, i thought i was about to get exiled. i immediately signaled to my homie to walk away and pretend he didnt know me. the security removed all the contents and went through it. turned out they just wanted to see my razor blade. then they put everything back in, including my weed. they didn't even recognize it. haha. too close.

its easy to smoke weed publicly in china and no one would even care or know what it is. every block has it's own different weird smell anyway.

[fallen angels]

Wow asian parents who smoke weed. That's a first for me. Do elaborate

it's not as uncommon as you might think! i've smoked with a couple of my asian homies' dads before. One dad (viet) one time even came to my college apt to get smoked out. another homie's dad (japanese) grows the bombeezy and used to hook us up.

[azn8oi]

That's prettttttttty fuckin close, hahahaha.

[ethnic cleanser]

wow and security at Beijing Airport made me open my bag because they thought my contact solution was a bomb or something.

[cyberPUNK]

i want to bang sarah silverman, seems like she'd be wild in bed.

[CUTUP]

I sharted a bit in the gym today, not a lot, just a little

[Guest on-display]

one time me and my ex wanted to give me a kinky bj. so we went to the store and bought chocolate syrup for ice cream. needless to say, shit did not work out because it was too sweet for her and my dick got really sticky. after the clean up both of us just chilled and smashed before she left.

still trying to look for the right concoction...maybe something light like whip cream

[CUTUP]

Get her to suck on an Altoid for a few minutes before you get your hood washed

It feels great and your dick will be fresh and minty afterwards

[tac0tron]

On behalf of my idiot friend, this is what he confessed to me:

"Sometimes, when I smell my hand, I can still smell her (ex-girlfriend) vagina."

he said this blazed.

[ethnic cleanser]

There was this blind man right

he walked past this fish market

yaknow what im saying

fish market

he stopped took a deep breath and said

"good morning ladies!"

[duck sauce]

^

then we'll visit the cathouse, the brothel, the bordello, and finally the old mission.

[samsikle]

today i wore a pair of nike sb's that i haven't worn for probably two years. so crazy comfy and i just told people the SB embroidered on are my initials haha

[azn8oi]

Samantha B

[samsikle]

yup, nike is too thoughtful

[timber]

I just laid down on the coach for five minutes and feel asleep for an hour in the middle of doing homework. Shit...

[Servo2000]

I covered my face in powdered charcoal for a project i'm working on and it was impossible to get off from around my eyes looked like eyeliner

i realized i would make an extremely fierce crossdresser

l8D7PmjV4pU

pre-emptive q lazarus goodbye horses video

edit (mini confession): i have now listened to goodbye horses six times in a row and i dont see an end in sight

[OMEGA JELLY JIGGLE]

I just laid down on the coach for five minutes and feel asleep for an hour in the middle of doing homework. Shit...

this is me every day

every class

everytime I sit down:(

[pragmatics]

I hated Jimmy Fallon. I hated him on SNL. I hated the way he laughed at every joke he ever told. He even laughed at things that weren't jokes. I hated him when he took over for Conan. He seemed to destroy every interview he ever had. He did that stupid giggling over everything. He was trying so hard to be cool and it was obvious. It was painful.

But that's not much of a confession. Everyone, I think, thinks that. His success is very confusing.

Now confession time: I really think his show has improved. Improved to the point, I actually enjoy it. Now, mind you, I don't go out of my way to watch it, but sometimes I'll DVR it if someone decent is on. Still, I would never openly tell anyone this.

[newbien]

^ damn that's deep

[broneck]

I have an overwhelming urge to hurt someone (emotionally) yet I know that I lack the cunning necessary for such a maneuver, making me even more hostile and frustrated.

I feel as though I was born into purgatory; how I behave now will determine how pleasant my future life will be while I wait to die. Either way, I'm still wasting time, pursuing one of the billions of forms of hedonism to try to take my mind off the question with an unstomachable answer: why am I self aware? Because I am a biological machine. The soul is an invented concept. I am an overdeveloped animal; a hairless ape wearing pants.

My parents still have not been able to come up with an answer to "why the fuck did you make me?"

and i am still unable to answer the question "why the fuck are you still posting?"

[eggshell]

I feel as though I was born into purgatory; how I behave now will determine how pleasant my future life will be while I wait to die. Either way, I'm still wasting time, pursuing one of the billions of forms of hedonism to try to take my mind off the question with an unstomachable answer: why am I self aware? Because I am a biological machine. The soul is an invented concept. I am an overdeveloped animal; a hairless ape wearing pants.

this reminds me of

when a few of my friends kept telling me about Waking Life and then i finally gave it a try and one of the scenes was a monologue with a girl having a 'deep' talk about how language is powerful but also limiting at the same time, how one person's "love" or "happiness" is entirely different than another person's definition of those ideas

and i thought "damn this is some junior kindergarten philosophy"... as in, this is a thought that every intelligent person has at some point in their teenyears/early adulthood, and you've got to be a damn idiot if it's a new concept

this is getting kind of long, but basically, haploid, your post was the equivalent of "a bear shits in the woods"

[super]

My parents work in the entertainment industry. Let's say they helped to organize one of the Grammy's after-parties last Sunday night... so of course they smoke weed.

Roll up a fattie and smoke them out mannnn. It would make for some gooood family times hahahaha.

family smoke out concept.---

[Man]

I have an overwhelming urge to hurt someone (emotionally) yet I know that I lack the cunning necessary for such a maneuver, making me even more hostile and frustrated.

I feel as though I was born into purgatory; how I behave now will determine how pleasant my future life will be while I wait to die. Either way, I'm still wasting time, pursuing one of the billions of forms of hedonism to try to take my mind off the question with an unstomachable answer: why am I self aware? Because I am a biological machine. The soul is an invented concept. I am an overdeveloped animal; a hairless ape wearing pants.

My parents still have not been able to come up with an answer to "why the fuck did you make me?"

i think maybe you should talk to your mum.

[redX]

i think it's called being a teenager

[broneck]

No, it's called being a lame teenager. This is the kindof shit you should be reading on livejournal or the used's tour blog, not sufu.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

My parents still have not been able to come up with an answer to "why the fuck did you make me?"

what can any parent say to this

[yannickl]

"was too drunk to wrap it up"

[Egpt]

No, it's called being a lame teenager. This is the kindof shit you should be reading on livejournal or the used's tour blog, not sufu.

i have tried to rep you like 10 times in the last 2 months but since i don't use the rep system that much anymore it always tells to spread rep around .

dude wears legos around his neck, being a lame emo teenager is probably the least of his problems, but yeah he should find an appropriate place to type that shit .

[goat]

what can any parent say to this

my father very blunt about it, actually

"i had a wet dream, your mother rolled over"