superconfessional

[Desi]

how the fuck you ain't accepting dinner invitations?  They feed you to listen to them drone bro!  No matter the silly ones I get I'll go unless I am literally doing something with other people.

[ProfMonnitoff]

sounds like run of the mill depression. talk to a professional (0)

[rosarkar]

I feel really lost. When I started uni, I was terrified of becoming part of the "entitled, unemployed millenial" crowd, so I spent all my time looking for opportunities to get ahead. Now, when I go out with friends, or spend time with other kids in their early to mid 20s, I feel really detached and uninspired.  Why does it seem that most people are okay with just getting by? GF is essentially just for pleasure, can't emotionally connect and don't even care about her feelings/desires.  Idk what's happening to me.

 

Thinking about going abroad for my final school year (sept-apr) so I finally have a chance to relax and become more normal. Hopefully I figure out why I'm becoming antisocial. 

Edited January 29, 2014 by rosarkar

[andrewisdope]

^if you don't care about your girlfriend, then you don't care about your girlfriend. break up with her and see how you feel. 

 

honest question to everybody reading this thread, in response to frank. and rosarkar who are kind of in similar situations. (Maybe this is more appropriate for superdepressed but it's kind of a confession from me, a potential asshole)

 

I don't get it. I have a friend in university who's going through a similar thing. I read her tumblr posts about how she's lacks motivation for social interaction, school work, relationships, etc. Is it really like that? I feel like she's become infatuated with the idea of being affected by a certain level of emotional torment. She reblogs a ton of shit that screams "I'm really sad and I don't know why and I can't do anything about it." Obviously I don't just say these things to her because it always becomes a "you don't understand" type of argument. I definitely recognize that there are people who go through hardships that have large repercussions in all aspects of their lives. I'm also not trying to say that you have to have been raped to feel a certain type of way. But goddamn her issues (and that of the posters above) seem so petty. You guys are living what might be the best years of your life depending on what your job prospects are after school and you're sitting here using cigarettes like they're medicine. 

 

Am I insensitive to think you guys are spending too much time in your own head and you're just subconsciously attracted to the idea of living the life of a murakami character? 

 

I've had phases where I've felt like not seeing any of my friends or doing anything because I was just tired of them. I never questioned my feelings about it and wondered what was happening to me and why everything started tasting grey and etc because I know i'd be lying to myself all for the purpose of licking some nonexistent wounds. How I feel is how I feel. 

 

Again, I'm not trying to offend, but I'm seriously trying to figure out how to deal with this fragile beezy and this could be my own reality check. please advise. 

Edited January 30, 2014 by andrewisdope

[Schoon]

andrew I thought the same thing when my ex told me she had depression.  She has a great life and (from my perspective) nothing to be depressed about, but something in her character obviously changed from before she was depressed.  even though nothing in her life changed she still became a shell of her former self.  is she subconsciously fabricating her own problems in order to receive pity or to fit a desired image?  Or does she have a legitimate psychological disorder that was triggered by next to nothing?  I have no idea and to be honest i can't tell the difference.  maybe I can't possibly understand since I've never been depressed myself.

 

rosakar you should talk to someone not on the internet.  your situation sounds extremely similar to my ex's.

 

here's my own confession i guess:

Part of me acknowledges that my ex's depression is real, but another part thinks she should cheer the fuck up because she has absolutely no real, tangible problems.   

[saffronrevolution]

im no psychologist but i guess in my (very minor) experience ive seen two major types of first-world, non-trauma-related depression issues:

 

the first is the one that people've been mentioning, which is that dramatization of whatever non-issues the person faces, undoubtedly fueled by sites like tumblr and the fact that they make it seem "cool" to be upset all the time even as a white, upper-/middle-class cisheteronormativeblahblahblah person i mean what have you. people use social media to create their own spectacle, and then become infatuated with that spectacle, and see all these other people doing the exact same thing and getting notes/likes for it, so they dont view it as unhealthy either. this i guess can be summed up as a sort of un-self-aware self-pity because the only perceptive input the person in question is *really* receiving is that online form of it, which all it does is feed off of itself. i mean if you told someone who fit this description all this theyd be totally angry at you, but again in my experience these kinds of people aren't really worth interfacing with in the first place. (sadly, this is a lot of people)

 

the other one, which i feel is a bit more legitimate, is the one in which the person is completely aware of the irony of their situation, the idea that they have no right to feel upset considering their privileged/supportive circumstances, but nonetheless experience some confluence of subtle or indescribable factors that causes them still feel unhappy/dissatisfied with their position. the modern first world, even for groups of people who might have previously been classified as "the oppressor", is still an impersonal, marginalizing and objectifying space. it's nearly impossible as a young person to escape the grip of social media, and when colored by those phenomena the prospect of true love, or even excitement at all for some people, becomes dim and bleak. these types of issues id imagine are the kind that have to be confronted with the help of a professional.

 

id imagine all this is as accurate as it is helpful/informative, which is to say, not very. but again just my $0.02 if the convo's already headed in this direction

Edited January 30, 2014 by saffronrevolution

[lotek01]

real depressed people don't want to be depressed, and should ideally be working their hardest to not be. there are these nu age emos like its livejournal 2002 all over again but the really depressed ones aren't putting it on social media cos they're too fuckin depressed

also comparing yourself to others is a terrible idea... everyone regardless of social status have their own problems within their own reality that feels as real as any other simply because it's their own reality. everyone lives in their own reality/monkeysphere/etc with its own set of issues... I mean if comparing yourself to third world problems helps then good for you but living as a means of comparing yourself to others isnt really gonna help properly depressed people who are in a personal hell hole they can't even peek out of

IMO people need to realise the only real competition you need to have is with yourself

[mr fluffernutter]

today some guy was walking with a homeless person and he looked at me and said something something "...phone?" so i, as quickly as i could, replied "no, sorry." so he thought that he should involve himself in my life and asked again for a phone, to call the police this time. he said something about how the homeless dude had stolen something from him or something... and that he wasn't comfortable getting 'physical' with an old crazy fella. but i  dont really fuckign know because i was NOT listening.

anyway i just told him that i don't have a phone (which is tru) and walked off. i didn't even offer to help. 

been thinking about that poor guy... following a homeless dude around all day until he comes across a cop or someone with a phone willing to help.

[mr fluffernutter]

they were nearly walking side by side... the old guy was NOT in a hurry to get away. strangest thing

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

im no psychologist but i guess in my (very minor) experience ive seen two major types of first-world, non-trauma-related depression issues:

 

the first is the one that people've been mentioning, which is that dramatization of whatever non-issues the person faces, undoubtedly fueled by sites like tumblr and the fact that they make it seem "cool" to be upset all the time even as a white, upper-/middle-class cisheteronormativeblahblahblah person i mean what have you. people use social media to create their own spectacle, and then become infatuated with that spectacle, and see all these other people doing the exact same thing and getting notes/likes for it, so they dont view it as unhealthy either. this i guess can be summed up as a sort of un-self-aware self-pity because the only perceptive input the person in question is *really* receiving is that online form of it, which all it does is feed off of itself. i mean if you told someone who fit this description all this theyd be totally angry at you, but again in my experience these kinds of people aren't really worth interfacing with in the first place. (sadly, this is a lot of people)

 

the other one, which i feel is a bit more legitimate, is the one in which the person is completely aware of the irony of their situation, the idea that they have no right to feel upset considering their privileged/supportive circumstances, but nonetheless experience some confluence of subtle or indescribable factors that causes them still feel unhappy/dissatisfied with their position. the modern first world, even for groups of people who might have previously been classified as "the oppressor", is still an impersonal, marginalizing and objectifying space. it's nearly impossible as a young person to escape the grip of social media, and when colored by those phenomena the prospect of true love, or even excitement at all for some people, becomes dim and bleak. these types of issues id imagine are the kind that have to be confronted with the help of a professional.

 

id imagine all this is as accurate as it is helpful/informative, which is to say, not very. but again just my $0.02 if the convo's already headed in this direction

 

basically you're saying people make problems when they have none and then get lost gazing up their own butthole.

[saffronrevolution]

harsh of me but yes, i think some people do just that. not everyone who's depressed obviously

[Serge]

also comparing yourself to others is a terrible idea... everyone regardless of social status have their own problems within their own reality that feels as real as any other simply because it's their own reality. everyone lives in their own reality/monkeysphere/etc with its own set of issues... I mean if comparing yourself to third world problems helps then good for you but living as a means of comparing yourself to others isnt really gonna help properly depressed people who are in a personal hell hole they can't even peek out of

 

yeah, i guess this is moreso for those who have first type of depression that saffron was talking about, the non-issue depression. i completely understand someone being depressed over a failed exam, a death, an injury, etc. i do not understand it when someone complains about being bored with life. seriously, there are literally billions of people who would love to be drifting through university, getting drunk and half-assing classes.

 

also im glad im not being outcast for thinking made-up problems count as depression. nothing grinds my gears more than hearing my gf complain that she's bored of her stable, cushy job just because she has to follow a 9to5 schedule. bitch please.

[Serge]

moral dilemma: i received a package after i got my refund back on it. i ordered 2 watch straps on Christmas day and never received shipping info or a receipt for it except for an email saying that he had shipped it. Fast forward to Jan 20, he finally replies to my multiple emails saying that if i don't receive it by Jan 22, he will refund me. Jan 22 comes by with no package. I emailed him about it and he said that he had sent out another package that day. I told him I wanted my money after it had been so long so he immediately refunded my cash and told me to refuse the package if it arrived. Today I get it in the mail. No signature required, just left in my mailbox. At first I was going to email the guy back about it but my gf said it probably wouldn't hurt just to keep it and not say anything. I've done much worse things before but this is eating me up. It comes out to 45$ after shipping and tax so its not like I'm raping this dudes wallet but I know I would feel guilty. What I do?

[tac0tron]

You'd be a dick if you didn't return it.

[tac0tron]

Not sure how much more of this burden I can take. 

 

My family and I have been struggling to pay for my tuition for uni and it's driving me nuts. My mom pulling out funds from her 401K, having to ask relatives for loans, already taking out subsidized federal loans, etc. Mom was just laid off from her job so this makes the situation way worst. My parents make a good amount of money (prior to mom's unemployment), and yet both always claim to have no money. Where the fuck is this money going? I've been considering just dropping out till i'm 23, where I could apply for financial aid as an independent student so I wouldn't have to report my parent's tax info, and get grants; but I only have the rest of this year and one more, it would kill me to have to drop out for now. I've been considering taking out bank loans, but being in more debt than I already am fucking scares me. At least I went to a community college first.. can't imagine how much more fucked the situation would be if I didn't. 

 

The huge debt really scares me because i'm pretty much an art student only minoring in comp sci. Not sure what the job market is like for that shit. 

 

EDIT: Right now i'm passed due on my monthly fee, currently writing an email to an aunt overseas for some help. This fucking sucks. 

Edited January 30, 2014 by harotron

[american_hearts]

but I know I would feel guilty. What I do?

 

So you're trying to decide which is more valuable: a clean conscience or $45 after shipping and tax. Not really for us to answer.

[e0d9n0b5]

Not sure how much more of this burden I can take. 

 

My family and I have been struggling to pay for my tuition for uni and it's driving me nuts. My mom pulling out funds from her 401K, having to ask relatives for loans, already taking out subsidized federal loans, etc. Mom was just laid off from her job so this makes the situation way worst. My parents make a good amount of money (prior to mom's unemployment), and yet both always claim to have no money. Where the fuck is this money going? I've been considering just dropping out till i'm 23, where I could apply for financial aid as an independent student so I wouldn't have to report my parent's tax info, and get grants; but I only have the rest of this year and one more, it would kill me to have to drop out for now. I've been considering taking out bank loans, but being in more debt than I already am fucking scares me. At least I went to a community college first.. can't imagine how much more fucked the situation would be if I didn't. 

 

The huge debt really scares me because i'm pretty much an art student only minoring in comp sci. Not sure what the job market is like for that shit. 

 

EDIT: Right now i'm passed due on my monthly fee, currently writing an email to an aunt overseas for some help. This fucking sucks. 

graphic design

 

a designer who can also code is invaluable 

[whitney]

moral dilemma: i received a package after i got my refund back on it. i ordered 2 watch straps on Christmas day and never received shipping info or a receipt for it except for an email saying that he had shipped it. Fast forward to Jan 20, he finally replies to my multiple emails saying that if i don't receive it by Jan 22, he will refund me. Jan 22 comes by with no package. I emailed him about it and he said that he had sent out another package that day. I told him I wanted my money after it had been so long so he immediately refunded my cash and told me to refuse the package if it arrived. Today I get it in the mail. No signature required, just left in my mailbox. At first I was going to email the guy back about it but my gf said it probably wouldn't hurt just to keep it and not say anything. I've done much worse things before but this is eating me up. It comes out to 45$ after shipping and tax so its not like I'm raping this dudes wallet but I know I would feel guilty. What I do?

write RTS return to sender

drop it in the mailbox

Edited January 31, 2014 by whitney

[SSchadenfreude]

moral dilemma: i received a package after i got my refund back on it. i ordered 2 watch straps on Christmas day and never received shipping info or a receipt for it except for an email saying that he had shipped it. Fast forward to Jan 20, he finally replies to my multiple emails saying that if i don't receive it by Jan 22, he will refund me. Jan 22 comes by with no package. I emailed him about it and he said that he had sent out another package that day. I told him I wanted my money after it had been so long so he immediately refunded my cash and told me to refuse the package if it arrived. Today I get it in the mail. No signature required, just left in my mailbox. At first I was going to email the guy back about it but my gf said it probably wouldn't hurt just to keep it and not say anything. I've done much worse things before but this is eating me up. It comes out to 45$ after shipping and tax so its not like I'm raping this dudes wallet but I know I would feel guilty. What I do?

If I was u, I'd keep that shit. $45 for time compensation, plus it's not nearly enough to get me 2 go thru the trouble to write return 2 sender and drop in the mail. Fuck that

Do the right thing

Edited January 31, 2014 by SSchadenfreude

[herpsky]

Not sure how much more of this burden I can take. 

 

My family and I have been struggling to pay for my tuition for uni and it's driving me nuts. My mom pulling out funds from her 401K, having to ask relatives for loans, already taking out subsidized federal loans, etc. Mom was just laid off from her job so this makes the situation way worst. My parents make a good amount of money (prior to mom's unemployment), and yet both always claim to have no money. Where the fuck is this money going? I've been considering just dropping out till i'm 23, where I could apply for financial aid as an independent student so I wouldn't have to report my parent's tax info, and get grants; but I only have the rest of this year and one more, it would kill me to have to drop out for now. I've been considering taking out bank loans, but being in more debt than I already am fucking scares me. At least I went to a community college first.. can't imagine how much more fucked the situation would be if I didn't. 

 

The huge debt really scares me because i'm pretty much an art student only minoring in comp sci. Not sure what the job market is like for that shit. 

 

EDIT: Right now i'm passed due on my monthly fee, currently writing an email to an aunt overseas for some help. This fucking sucks. 

I thought you were in-state? Can't you take out loans? You can do pay as you earn or whatever. Plus, the interest rate is lower than it used to be. My APR is like 6.8% and I have a six fig loan.

Edited January 31, 2014 by herpsky

[tac0tron]

Yeah I'm in-state but I guess I'm gonna have to suck it up and take more loans out.

Edited January 31, 2014 by harotron

[dldrmsmn]

whatever

Edited January 31, 2014 by dldrmsmn

[Schoon]

I like the idea of being productive but I have no self discipline and can't bring myself to actually be productive. Sometimes I daydream of how awesome it would be if I just got shit done in a timely manner and got my life organized, but when I go to do it I cringe away and numb myself with useless entertainment 

[Aeroplane]

i've had issues with a group of loose pit bulls in my neighborhood this past year. they have charged me and others.  i've called the police and animal control several times.  all they can do is warn the owner that their dogs are getting loose but, until there is an "incident" nothing else can be done.

 

yesterday i'm running late for school and i drive by said dogs scratching and clawing at a fence. turns out, they tore the dog in that backyard to shreds.

 

the worst part is, since no one actually witnessed the "attack", animal control can't do anything.  the guilt is heavy.

[boy better know]

i'm now making all life decisions based on what's going to get me the most oral sex from eastern european girls

Edited January 31, 2014 by boy better know

[haploid]

i'm now making all life decisions based on what's going to get me the most oral sex from eastern european girls

[insted]

I like the idea of being productive but I have no self discipline and can't bring myself to actually be productive. Sometimes I daydream of how awesome it would be if I just got shit done in a timely manner and got my life organized, but when I go to do it I cringe away and numb myself with useless entertainment

 

 

i really feel this. it's actually starting to drive me insane. i'm in uni this semester and i wrote my first paper the night before it was due. i'm doing well enough in my classes, and i know exactly what i need to do to get A's, but for some reason i've been avoiding it.

 

i'm doing better about getting shit done now, though. i'm fixing some smaller bad habbits which are leading me to be more productive. going to start reading again too, the discipline it takes to sit down and properly read always carries over into the rest of my life. i think i'm just thinking about too much at the moment and need to simplify everything about my life. 

 

i've gotten really obsessive over spending money on clothes. even little things. i had $60 dollars in my account, and i spent $60 on a shirt because "i get paid soon, and my tax returns will come in, and i have x amount in cash, and i'm buying it resale so it's a deal, etc"

 

it's a real problem, i'm obviously trying to fill some void. i'm stopping because i'm realizing jawnz aren't going anywhere. i don't need to dress top-tier right now just because i want to. i need to live within my means, which realistically means anything above american apparel price tier is a bit ridiculous but nonetheless i've been kopping designer joints. it's way cooler to feel / look comfortable and decent with what you can work with than to try and shut shit down every day on a college budget and the only time you get out of the house is to attend classes.

 

i feel like i'm coming out of a drunken fury thinking "what the fuck happened last night" only last night has been months

 

for what it's worth tho.... i really do have some cool clothes to work w for a while

Edited February 1, 2014 by insted

[noobedloser]

Just had dessert crepes for dinner provided by my host family saying it was a traditional food. I think I got trolled

Edited February 4, 2014 by noobedloser

[kH0yA Sw@Gp0o]

^dessert creeps? (crepes?) host family? i need context pls tell us moar where're you at and how'd it go

[noobedloser]

Lool dang it , stupid auto correct.

Yeah, I meant to say crepes.

I'm studying abroad in Berlin right now and staying with a host family for the duration of my program.

It was alright, they had chocolate, jams/jellies, and powdered sugar set out. The host family said this was one of their favorite meals to have.