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Just found someone to take over my lease Oct 1. I quit my job saturday and now I am moving on to bigger and better things. Oct 11 is my last day in Chicago.

I am so fucking relieved. Feels like I took a big doodoo, but better.

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blah blah blah. my name is blah blah blah. I have this blah blah blah goals in my life blah blah blah. I am a hard working blah blah blah because b;ah blah blah. One time because of this blah blah blah I blah blah blahed. I work best in blah blah blah enviroment because blah blah blah allows me to blah blah and blah blah blah.

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You just have to bite the bullet and tow the line you know they want. Ambition, long-term goals, community, Andover uniform, etc etc. A good watermark is after you're done, if it's something your friends would mock you mercilessly for if they found, then you're on the right track.

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You just have to bite the bullet and tow the line you know they want. Ambition, long-term goals, community, Andover uniform, etc etc. A good watermark is after you're done, if it's something your friends would mock you mercilessly for if they found, then you're on the right track.

QFT. The old man has wisdom.

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my mom gave me 100 dollars, the first time shes ever given me over 30?without me asking in a decade. I feel guilty though i NEVER asked my parents for money in my life. I was really broke for a little while but she did not know. I just sold a bunch of shit and now my money flow is back up.

I thank my spending disease, i will always have a store of wealth in the materials i possess. So i never REALLY have no money.

I also finally start tutoring today, easiest income ever.

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I've dealt with more "grown up" issues this year than in my whole life combined... Corporate restructuring, pregnancy, paying back taxes, miscarriage, helping close family through addictions, paying down CC debt, finally seeing the back of the pantry wall for the first time, working charity events, and more. I know it's just life, but it kind of hit me all of a sudden and I was like, damn, adulthood came up really fast.

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God i hate my course, i need to decide weather its worth it to just push on to the end of the year and then transfer or just leave now and start a new course next year. I wish i pulled out earlier...

Still got another year in the course after this one anyway.

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I don't remember what my essay was about the first time I applied.

But the second time I wrote two essays, one about the Staten Island Ferry as a metaphor for the transience and emptiness I felt going to school out there.

And the other was about my fear of feet/pooping.

The latter got me into Emerson.

I had more fun the second time around.

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college people seems to like hearing about tragedies and how you overcame them. i know its a bit of a fucked up sense of humor for those adolescents who are about to apply (but thats pretty much the only kind i have) when i think, 'at least it'll make a great college entry essay' after something really bad happens and they have to deal with it, overcome it, smell like roses..

personally i always feel a bit awkward talking about bad things that have happened to me to people who holds some sort of power over me as to whether i can have something or not, gain entrance or be turned away, etc cos i don't want them to give me a pity pass but rather go in by my own merits. on the other hand being able to overcome those situations in itself can be considered an accomplishment too

i think too much

still mad that i was there at 9am and i missed out on that draped yohji skirt

:(:mad::(

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I feel as if lately I've been doing all sorts of things I normally wouldn't have ever done, in many aspects of my life, both good and bad. Not getting into specifics, but I'm unsure as to how to proceed in a number of situations, as well as I am uncertain whether I am comfortable doing these things at all.

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As far as school essays go:

I would just out right bald face lie.

Say your older brother died when you were young, and that your whole life up until now has been about giving your parents what they wanted from him, that his life, when taken, became your life, for them. That now you have a chance to start over, and take charge of your own interests that you want, instead of offering them what they missed out in old billy. Talk about your intretests, and talk about how this is your chance to finally attack all the things you have been dreaming about at night, after living all these years forced in to chello and Varisty.

Or talk about your dead grandmother and how she was a hero to you for surviving the war and keeping her rose garden nice for her husbund who never came back, that she loved those roses.

This is all just shit off the top of my head, but fuck with them with a mix of horror love and hope for the future, they will let you in right away ;)

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I don't like receiving compliments very much anymore. I feel like I only ever get them from people who have a goal in mind, ie; sex. They have been so devalued for me that I really feel nothing or worse rather than feeling better about myself.

Oops, compliments, not comments.

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