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Magsåvningsreserven

By Magsåvningsreserven
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Eyealt
Eyealt

On my way to meet up with me, my dad took a picture of a couple who he thought looked strange.    When he showed me the picture I didn't expect to see these two..    

Magsåvningsreserven
Magsåvningsreserven

or listerine if it's early

hahapete
hahapete

The girl I was dating made me pizza from scratch tonight at my crib and it was great. She brought everything over. I didn't have to do a thing or provide anything other than an oven. She made me an en

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Oxy.

Oxy.

Posted
Posted

influx of crazies making youtube videos. this time it's because god answered her prays to "literally shake japan"

her videos are supposedly a parody of real religious persons and how extreme their views can be. like boy better know said, she's a troll.

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dovo

dovo

Posted
Posted

I might be late with this but I lold.

Thinking about shaving your ass hair?

"STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.

It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling.

Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with somepaper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I

thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there

and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally

reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks.

As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks.

Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't

enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad.

Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony."

Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

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SDES

SDES

Posted
Posted
who the fuck wants elk skin on their fucking arms, and gortextwhatthefuck lining

looks ugly as fuck, you can honestly get one better looking from BigW and not be afraid to wear it at night because you migh get mugged, or spill shit on it

offense at fashion sense intended, soz babe

On the grey visvim varsity jacket that recently sold on supermarket.

I understand where he is coming from, but that's what makes him a bitchass lol

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TTM

TTM

Posted
Posted
man the japanese government and officials are getting massive flack in the german press and media for their bad information policy and their incredibly bad behaviour during this crisis

so bizarre, only thing you hear about in the US is the reactors. No word on the thousands of dead and recovery efforts.

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into the rain

into the rain

Posted
Posted

my problem is that the US media play this nuclear meltdown shit as if they want it to happen. and on some level, im pretty sure they do.

they've been jizzing in their pants every time japanese officials made any announcements

BREAKING NEWS: OMG NUCLEAR MELTDOWN IMMINENT!

i mean, i know it's your fucking job but dont make it so fucking obvious that you want it to happen.

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