Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[khris89]

Hey oko, the fact that she texted you after a first date is a good sign. If the date sucked then she wouldn't bother. No need to jump the gun and suggest second date immediately. Sometimes it's good to let the good memory of the first date sit with her and build anticipation for the next one. You can really test her interest level if you dont call her for another week or two. Monday to Wednesday is really not a long time. Give it some more time before you suggest a second date. Dont necessarily have to do the movie. Girls like it when then guy takes charge rather than be the chump that obeys whatever the girl wants to do.

[broneck]

Been hanging out with a girl I get along really well with. Home for summer break so I don't know if anything will ever come of it.

Been chatting with a really, really, really attractive girl that I think might be interested.

The two know each other. What do I do?

hang out with both of them at the same time; bang the more aggressive one

[khris89]

Been hanging out with a girl I get along really well with. Home for summer break so I don't know if anything will ever come of it.

Been chatting with a really, really, really attractive girl that I think might be interested.

The two know each other. What do I do?

I don't see Any issues here. You're not leading the first girl on, and you havent done shit with the second. And anyways, if they both like you, this just exemplifies their attraction. Girls want guys that other girls want. Competition only works in your favor.

[into the rain]

and why is chris spelled that way?

no alphabet synergy

[khris89]

He's just some kid who likes clothings

[Knugget]

He's just some kid who likes clothings

then don't post here

[khris89]

How about you share some wisdom, knugget

[Knugget]

lurk moar. imma stop shitting up this thread now.

[khris89]

Been here longer than you, also youve made no contribution. Cheer up.

[arem]

Thanks for the input guys. She got back to me shortly after I posted this, so it's all good

Oh and arem - I am a kid!

Glad it's looking good for you. If you're young just acting like a grown man will put you at such an advantage with girls, it's incredible. Just have some confidence, be funny, and be in control of yourself. Women will be drawn to you.

[littleomar]

so I was going out with a girl off and on for 2 years. She's terrible at communication, doesn't ever reply to texts, waits days to call back, makes your life hell for making plans. the first time we ended it, I said fuck it and didn't talk to her in months. year later she hits me up and we hook up, that lasts like 1 month. when it finally ends I tell her "get your shit together..." discontinue contact. she gets in contact with me last month, tells me she quit her job, is moving out of the country in august. so she wants to meet up and have dinner. I just broke up with my gf, so I cave and say yeah. Nothing happens, she tells me she's been a wreck because a guy she dated briefly in hs (we're 30 now)) currently goes out with her sister, cried herself to sleep every night for 3 years. (this all happened while we were going out, but she never told me.) I wish her on her merry way and go to bed. She gets at me again later in the week, we hook up, fine. At this point I get it. I'm being used. I tell myself this and realize what it is. Problem being is that there are still unresolved issues. no one (she's never had a real bf before) has ever told her about her shitty fleeting behavior before. So I leave on break and she does to, I see her last week and make up my mind that I need to say something. I try to do it on friday, call her first and no answer, so text her and get a reply back like 3 hours later, she can't meet up. So yesterday I call to get this over with, but surprise, no response, so I just leave a message. I've given this girl so much benefit of the doubt, and sometimes she is positive, 40% of the time she sucks. I gave up hearing from her today, but just got a call, she's busy this week (understandable she's moving) and has monday open. I really need to heir some grivences. or should I just bite my tongue.

[khris89]

quite frankly omar, i'm sure you don't need to put up with this in your life. there is so much better out there than this so i wouldn't even bother.

[broneck]

isn't it "air" some grievances?

[khris89]

^ correct.

so.... i guess everyones doing well with their dating.

[littleomar]

so I went to lunch with her today. told her how I feel, kind of reemed into her about certain things. feel better because of it, not as good as I thought, but I feel at least someone has told her this shit to her face instead of behind her back. good riddance.

[alimenator]

from anyone's experience, has taking a break ever actually helped save a relationship?

[khris89]

i've found that whenever i just ignore a girl things get back on track eventually, but there are times when it's beyond that point where i know that i just have to cut my losses and move on.

[mydenvermax]

from anyone's experience, has taking a break ever actually helped save a relationship?

Yes but I think it was highly conditional on the girl's personality type...things were fragmenting so I told her "i can't handle this relationship right now, don't talk to me"...month passed, we saw other people, and it gave us both time to reevaluate things and approach the relationship differently. Much happier now. This was six months ago.

Obvious info, but most of the time if one person is contemplating/suggesting a "break" it is a weak attempt at breaking things off or a sign that the two people can't communicate well enough to solve an underlying problem between them.

In my opinion if you mentally treat a break like a true break, where there's some end-game guarantee that you'll end up back together with that person, it won't work. You both have to distance yourself from that guarantee in order to assess what factors contributed to your need to have a break in the first place.

[alimenator]

I wasn't the one who suggested the break, so for me, i'm still in the situation where i'm deciding

if I want to treat it as a true break where we might end up together again or the kind where we distance ourselves

Ideally, what she wanted was to be alone and single (yet not dating again)

and within a month or so we would talk again and see where our relationship is going

[scientifick]

she invites me to her apt after class

talks incessantly about some guy who texts her all the time asking her to cuddle, makes her feel like he's pressuring her to spend the night at her house, asks her to do weird shit in bed like kiss his forearm (l o l), and complains about how he doesn't want to get to know her

while i'm sitting there trying to get to know her

guess she just doesn't really care for me?

[mr fluffernutter]

she thinks yr gay

[scientifick]

how 2 remedy?

[khris89]

I wasn't the one who suggested the break, so for me, i'm still in the situation where i'm deciding

if I want to treat it as a true break where we might end up together again or the kind where we distance ourselves

Ideally, what she wanted was to be alone and single (yet not dating again)

and within a month or so we would talk again and see where our relationship is going

Generally not a good sign, why do you think she feels like being single?

she invites me to her apt after class

talks incessantly about some guy who texts her all the time asking her to cuddle, makes her feel like he's pressuring her to spend the night at her house, asks her to do weird shit in bed like kiss his forearm (l o l), and complains about how he doesn't want to get to know her

while i'm sitting there trying to get to know her

guess she just doesn't really care for me?

Sounds like she sees you as a friend.

[alimenator]

Our relationship has been rough for quite some time due to arguments of our past, and because of that, she thinks she is starting to fall out of love with me, its obvious that there is nothing good to take from this break so I am going to just approach this as if we are broken up and move on so that when she decides to talk again I will have already begun to move on with my life and if she does still "love" me then I'll just see what happens..

[boy better know]

as djraijio would say: give her the gift of missing you

ignore this woman, you always have something better to do anyway

[alimenator]

yeah. this thread needs him back...

[fallen angels]

Our relationship has been rough for quite some time due to arguments of our past, and because of that, she thinks she is starting to fall out of love with me, its obvious that there is nothing good to take from this break so I am going to just approach this as if we are broken up and move on so that when she decides to talk again I will have already begun to move on with my life and if she does still "love" me then I'll just see what happens..

if you're going to take this route then you need to communicate to her that its a real break up. make sure she understands that and no messy shit. forget about seeing "what happens", u already saw what happened: you guys had a chance and unfortunately it didnt work out. but both you need to accept that. then you can move on. gl

[mellowfellow]

from anyone's experience, has taking a break ever actually helped save a relationship?

It's her way of breaking it off gently. She doesn't want to hurt you but it all ends the same.

[alimenator]

Well, she told me to take it as us breaking up because she doesn't want me to feel like I'm waiting for her, so yeah we both know what's going on. I'm not talking to her or anything and I am moving on with my life somewhat, I really just wanted to hear some of your guy's opinions on it, thanks

I'll post the outcome of my situation in a month or so...

[khris89]

The outcome is clear, it's over. Over the next month she'll probably approach you again - but the moment you try to get back with her, it will just validate her decision to leave you.

..And I know that this is really tough to accept, time and time again.