Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[hellogoodbye]

by sealed the deal do u mean u copped her some visvimz?

[Quiver]

crosspost from what are you reading today. very topical. long but worth the time imo.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/?single_page=true

[gettoasty]

good read, well written and moving as one comment stated. i was actually to follow the article quite well throughout the transitions.

at first i thought this was posted in the official breakup thread, but then realized it was here instead. ty for posting

[koala]

clopek tell me how it goes.

also for those who are in relationships - what are the major lifestyle changes that have occured for you.. e.g hanging with the boys etc. anyone want to chime in on this?

mannn you start thinking for two people. you start to make sure that your actions will not harm her or the relationship. your funds will drop, and yes you won't hang with your friends as much. it really depends though, on the girl, and the type of person you are. i've seen both extremes.

[on-display]

girl I'm talking to just told me she's been raped before

[BearCousin]

mannn you start thinking for two people. you start to make sure that your actions will not harm her or the relationship. your funds will drop, and yes you won't hang with your friends as much. it really depends though, on the girl, and the type of person you are. i've seen both extremes.

this.

my gf is pretty independent and doesn't care when i go skate and do some other shit but i still always have to worry about making plans because sometimes ill get talked into running errands the day before or some shit and totally forget about it. it sucks.

but the biggest thing is your video game time will drop immensely. at least it will when you live together... fifa and call of duty time turns into shitty reality tv time. girlfriend is on vacation with my family this weekend, ill be playing video games in my underwear all weekend.

[koala]

hahaha so much truth about video game time. PERSONAL TIME in general. i miss that feel though bro.....

[boy better know]

bumping this gem of a thread

i've been going out with girls that turned out to be virgins lately, the last 3-4 girls were at least and all between age 19-23 and although some dus would like it, i don't wanna be like that guy from kids

i'm thinking it has to do with my personality or congruency as a whole rather than how and where i meet them (ie at school, through friends, etc.)

any thoughts?

[wood 666]

wish i met virgins

[t3hcoke]

crosspost from what are you reading today. very topical. long but worth the time imo.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/?single_page=true

food for thot

[on-display]

In regards to dating multiple women,should I let each one know about it? Or keep it on the down low?

[Hendodo]

confused...

so i met this beautiful girl a month ago. we've been talking a bit, and she says she feels like she's known me for years (friendzone?). She likes to hang out, and we've had a few meals together. What I don't understand is that she likes to go out/talk/etc, but she never initiates contact...help!

[khris89]

In regards to dating multiple women,should I let each one know about it? Or keep it on the down low?

There is no need to over complicate things by letting them know. What would it achieve?

confused...

so i met this beautiful girl a month ago. we've been talking a bit, and she says she feels like she's known me for years (friendzone?). She likes to hang out, and we've had a few meals together. What I don't understand is that she likes to go out/talk/etc, but she never initiates contact...help!

She feels like she's known you for years? Combined with the fact that she never initiates contact means that she probably won't be sleeping with you any time soon. Way to recover? Ignore her.

wish i met virgins

Despite all the advice against this, I have never slept with a virgin and would like to know what it's like.

[khris89]

bumping this gem of a thread

i've been going out with girls that turned out to be virgins lately, the last 3-4 girls were at least and all between age 19-23 and although some dus would like it, i don't wanna be like that guy from kids

i'm thinking it has to do with my personality or congruency as a whole rather than how and where i meet them (ie at school, through friends, etc.)

any thoughts?

are all the girls really low quality(or perhaps so shy/sheltered) that noone wants to sleep with them?

[koala]

my ex and i are on the track to getting back together. we fuck on the regular, hang out, etc. i feel the love from her and i feel myself giving back alot too if that makes any sense. the thing is we're not officially together and everytime the conversation comes up of officially getting back together we never really come to a solid conclusion.

so last night it was her friends birthday and they went "out". she wouldn't tell me exactly what they did or where they went til i kind of pestered her for an answer. she finally told me she went clubbing, and when i asked her if she danced with any guys she said 'yeah of course i did.'

this shit irks the shit out of me, she's a really GOOD dancer if you know what i mean and i can't fucking imagine another guy having that type of physical interaction with her.

my dilemma is that since we are not officially together she probably feels she has a right to do whatever she wants. so should i confront the situation or just let it be??

we left off with me saying i'll talk to you later abruptly after she told me she danced with guys at the club. fuck clubs. fuck this shit. what to do.

[Phyziks]

Do the same shit. Don't put all your eggs in the same basket. If she knows you're out dancing with other girls and have options, maybe she'll realize she needs to take the extra step to lock you down to herself. If she doesn't care if you're out with other girls, then perhaps she isn't ready to settle down with you again.

Overall, just do your thing and don't make her a priority until she makes you her priority. Ball is in her court.

[OkayOkay]

Kinda stoked to actually be posting in here in a way... So I'm dating this girl and she's amazing in a ton of ways, and I think I understand her and other women pretty well by now, but this one has me genuinely confused. She's told me a few times that she isn't interested in participating in a lot of my family or friend events, mainly the ones that "seem boring". She's told me a few times, and we also joked about it with her Mom the other night also. Our relationship has gotten serious to the point where I guess she'a kinda obligated to go to most of them, and she does a great job of participating and interacting while she's there, so the person/people we're seeing would have no idea she's resentful of being there. She'a awesome at just going with it. I know and can feel the whole time that she wishes she didn't have to be there, but my problem is at first I just said it was fine, that I'd tell her about the event/interaction and she could decide if she wanted to attend or not, but she started getting upset when I did that. She said along the lines "of course I'll go", but it was reluctant, or would kind toss it back at me and talk about how I "think she's a bad girlfriend"...basic guilt trippy stuff. So after that didn't work I just stopped telling her about things she would have otherwise been invited to; birthdays, dinners, outdoor things, etc...but when she found out I was just opting to not give her the choice (which she asked for) she got more bummed. Maybe at herself, me, not sure. There's a few bigger events / important things that are really important to me coming up that I'd like her to attend, but I think I'm just gonna not even mention them like I've been doing. I guess I could just take someone else, a friend or whatever and it'd be fine. Our relationship is far enough along that I think it's expected that she attend, and she talks vigorously about our future together and honestly, I can see that...this is just a part that I don't understand. It doesn't really occur to me that I wouldn't be going with her to something I was maybe obligated to go to (formal or informal), I'd just go regardless if I knew it was gonna be anything I'd personally enjoy or not, which IMO isn't really the point, but I honestly think she'd prefer to decline and stay home and game or study or do whatever. This is kinda one of the last hurdles I have to letting this settle in as a real, connected relationship. I don't want to force her to go, just to hear about it later or know she was complaining to a friend or frustrated that she HAD to participate...makes me feel bad for thinking I'm wasting her time and forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do I guess. Kind of in the same vein, she mentions occasionally about wanting her time alone and her space, but when I try to give it to her she gets bummed at me and doesn't take the opportunity. I'm starting to feel like our relationship is restricting her personal time, so I think I might work on that a bit more...maybe just stretching out the gaps of time we don't spend with eachother and making plans with other friends or something. I dunno, I get the feeling she's gonna say she doesn't really want her space, but I'm gonna go off what she said, which she seemed authentic in requesting. Neither of these are big issues, and she's amazing otherwise...these just seem like bizarre requests, and sometimes it hurts a bit that she says she doesn't want to be a part of some of the things I do with family/friends/work, but whatever...I'm an adult and can handle that. I think I'm gonna skip out on a Halloween party we planned on going to so she can just hang with her sister and have some "her" time; which I'm totally ok with.

Sorry for the novel... I can't sleep so I'm probably rambling.

[aoi]

I'm not trying to be rude, but I think you may be rambling a bit.

[cure]

this thread is always better when you have the stephen hawkings computer voice read out the posts

[khris89]

Look OkayOkay, girls don't know what they want. it's that simple (complex).

[cameron-]

i used to feel that way with some of my ex's events, family stuff etc.

it was mostly because i wasn't that into her or her life. i was only into what kind of role she played in MY life. idk

[hellogoodbye]

confused...

so i met this beautiful girl a month ago. we've been talking a bit, and she says she feels like she's known me for years (friendzone?). She likes to hang out, and we've had a few meals together. What I don't understand is that she likes to go out/talk/etc, but she never initiates contact...help!

you're the man, you're supposed to initiate contact not her. doooo ittttt.

[Phyziks]

Kinda stoked to actually be posting in here in a way... So I'm dating this girl and she's amazing in a ton of ways, and I think I understand her and other women pretty well by now, but this one has me genuinely confused. She's told me a few times that she isn't interested in participating in a lot of my family or friend events, mainly the ones that "seem boring". She's told me a few times, and we also joked about it with her Mom the...

Tell her to suck your dick in a handstand.

[OkayOkay]

Heard a great one the other day from a good friend, re his fiancé and general womanlogic:

"I do things right 99% of the time with no acknowledgement or appreciation, don't fucking cruicify me for the one time I get it wrong."

Highly applicable to most every girl I know.

[broneck]

sounds like every relationship i've ever been in

[BearCousin]

Highly applicable to most every girl I know.

take out "most" and i think you've got it.

[OkayOkay]

Had an amazing night with her last night, and another great one the eve before that. Now we're fighting pretty hard about a concept I barely understand and is either way too complex for me to figure out, or so simple that we're arguing based on the frustration of it being so fucking petty. I'm pretty sure it's the latter, but what the fuck do I know.

[ohsnap]

at the beginning of these past few months, my ex-fwb texts me saying something like: "hey what are you doing? ;d" or "i miss you"

we ended it because she confessed she was catching feelings. she has a bf now, who, according to her, doesn't dick her down as well as i did.

i've just been ignoring/cutting off all contact and staying busy doing my own thing. i'm doing it right.. right?

[OCEANSECT]

if you don't like her then don't talk to her probably coz lying about your intentions is wrong

also she has a boyfriend and you probably don't want to hurt him really.

though probably if she was nicer or whatever she would just break things off with him, since what shes doing isn't really fair or nice or right.

those are like, the three levels of right i think, in this situation, any one of which probably means don't talk to her. also you probs don't want to get mixed up with a girl like that anyway, coz what she is doing to her boyfriend she would probably do to you.

and i know you dgaf shes just a fwb i'm just saying.

so basically yeah i would ignore her or otherwise if thats bugging you just tell her you don't want to see her.

[gettoasty]

Yes.

she has to come and get it if she wants it.

good ego boost, keep doing your own thing.