dear ... [an open letter]

[sistersuzie]

if I promise to be on my best behavior may I tag along?

only if you promise me that it means the total opposite :eek:

[tac0tron]

Dear Friends,

Don't go and have a good time, and then tell me, "You should've been there." when no one told me about plans in the first place.

Peace & Best,

Chit

[Oxy.]

Dear current/future people of sufu,

I have noticed within my 8 month time span here that [most] of you are very prudish and narcissistic. Many of you have distorted views of what reality should actually be, and [many] of you are very sheltered (yes, even though you take your precious trips to japan, london, paris, etc - you are still sheltered). If I were to compare the people of sufu to "real life" people, it would have to be snobby teenage suburban white girls. Not to mention that all of you are connoisseurs of life, and at ages 20-27, have experienced and know it all. Some sufu'ers are really down to earth though, to those select few, do not let the attitudes of your forum peers dilute your authenticity.

Dare you have a different opinion of their own, they will shun you for it. It's almost like shaking a bee hive and waiting for the bees to attack you. They will tell you that they know more about you, than you do. They will tell you the way they think things should be, and not the way they are. To the ones who have not had the privilege of being enlightened with this information, I hope this letter will help you along your way, to the ones who have not yet joined us, I hope you stumble upon this letter early on, as I believe it is very insightful.

Sincerely,

Oxy.

[fads]

hi i lurk

you post this because you think your rep justifies you saying stuff

but it mean nothing

bye

Dear current/future people of sufu,

I have noticed within my 8 month time span here that [most] of you are very prudish and narcissistic. Many of you have distorted views of what reality should actually be, and [many] of you are very sheltered (yes, even though you take your precious trips to japan, london, paris, etc - you are still sheltered). If I were to compare the people of sufu to "real life" people, it would have to be snobby teenage suburban white girls. Not to mention that all of you are connoisseurs of life, and at ages 20-27, have experienced and know it all. Some sufu'ers are really down to earth though, to those select few, do not let the attitudes of your forum peers dilute your authenticity.

Dare you have a different opinion of their own, they will shun you for it. It's almost like shaking a bee hive and waiting for the bees to attack you. They will tell you that they know more about you, than you do. They will tell you the way they think things should be, and not the way they are. To the ones who have not had the privilege of being enlightened with this information, I hope this letter will help you along your way, to the ones who have not yet joined us, I hope you stumble upon this letter early on, as I believe it is very insightful.

Sincerely,

Oxy.

[fads]

oxy rep talk hits two nerves wtf

hi i lurk

you post this because you think your rep justifies you saying stuff

but it mean nothing

bye

[Osmosis Jones]

dear girls i've dated.

when you're sick, i take care of you. like, commute 3 hours in the middle of the night to bring you soup. when i'm sick, you DO NOT take care of me even though you say you will, and then you say i'm SO cute when i'm sick cause i'm losing my mind and hallucinating. and then when i get irritated, you get mad at me for losing my mind. what the fuck, i'm not saying i'm entitled but you're not the first girl to say "i will take care of you when you're sick" and not come through.

so when you get another boyfriend who doesn't do anything for you or go out of his way to make you happy, do NOT complain to me.

seriously, i just need to stay away from girls for a while.

sincerely, evilcrayon.

[BAGUETTE]

Dear Farmer,

You are the hottest farmer.

Best,

B

[6ixes&7evens]

Dear Dad & Mom

I'm a terrible son. And I'm sorry.

[sophiapark]

dearest poppa bear,

i love you so muchs. you are a very good daddy and i know you dont mean to say that you want bad things to happen to me. im sorry for getting into trouble all the time. and i hella missed talking to you. thanks for coming to my graduation. you're a good poppa bear. even when we fight.

love, mememe

[sawn-off chef]

dear girl,

you are really cute.

sincerely,

scott.m

dear girl,

i'm gonna be your boyfriend after this friday, i think my summer just got ALOT better. can't wait till friday,

sincerely,

scott.m

[jeepster]

dear scott

im gonna steal your girl

sorry

sincerely,

max

[Guest bambam]

dear jeep and scott,

@___________@

love,

bambam

[redgrail]

dear everyone,

simps running rampant itt.

loltalk2ul8rz,

Carl Johan Frederick von Wurttemberg.

[jeepster]

dear this thread,

sup

sincerely,

peepster

[Osmosis Jones]

dear fhgirl.

i am sad that i will never see you smile. i wish i wasn't such a pussy and told you the truth. every day i wonder to myself if you will stumble across something. i guess what i want to say is that i miss you and i wish things went over differently.

sincerely.

mb.

[walleye]

Dear Older Brother,

Get off your ass.

Stop sending me 4chan comics.

Stop jacking off to hentai.

Your girlfriend broke up with you cuz you got no ambition, goals, or motivation.

That graphic design job (or any job) won't come to you unless you look.

Your resume sucks.

Your art portfolio sucks.

You're ugly.

At least you got parents who take care of you and put up with your crap acting like a baby.

Sincerly,

C

[sawn-off chef]

deer jeepster,

and to think i almost called you to get milkshakes the other day, damn good thing i didn't.

s'all good, wish you luck,

scott.m

[sawn-off chef]

dear bambam,

sup,

sincerely,

scott.m

[Baeyer-Drewson]

Dear PhD Thesis,

I realise that you are an abstract concept representing a body of work and, therefore, unable to respond to this letter. However, realise this; if you were a person I would cover you in benzene and set you alight.

Thank you for the impossible workload and all the stress that accompanies it.

Love,

BD.

X

[jeepster]

dear scott,

I don't leave my house if I'm not at work cause I'm a loser.

sincerely,

keepster

[sawn-off chef]

dear jeepster,

stop being a recluse and lets hang out next week

love,

skawt.em (no homo)

[jeepster]

dear scott,

I don't leave my house cause I work during the day and am too tired to do anything after 4 pm except eat and complain.

sincerely,

heepster

[sawn-off chef]

dear meepster,

lame.

yours truly,

scott

[Osmosis Jones]

dear jeff

you complain a lot about people but then you hang out with your coworkers who "piss you off" but then you change your mind about them in the next 10 minutes. i can only imagine the stuff you say about me when i'm not around.

you complain that customers treat you like a friend but then you go on to say that they give you a ride home from work at 11PM. they live in the complete opposite direction of you and just feel bad. and then when they invite you to a bbq, you start assuming they're gay for you.

you're also one of the most socially retarded people i know because you're so afraid to get close to anybody. i have no idea how that is because you are hella chill and a fun guy. but then you're trying to mack with a 40 year old asian lady, who is hot yes, but she has a husband so where's this "relationship" of yours going? you got all excited when she wanted "body pix" of you.

you always want me to tote around my camera to take "new" facebook photos of you. always shirtless and you always have to do a couple pushups or situps before we do anything. you always want to tan but it's like sunset, there's no sun left to tan with.

and dude, natalie is really nice and she's pretty cute so i don't get why you don't just go out with her. you admit to liking her, she likes you as well, BUT you always come up with some BS reason like "oh she has a small tummy" or "oh, she's playing mind games". you keep expecting some goddess of a woman to walk in through the door but your standards are so fucked up that no woman in the world could match them. if you don't get it on with natalie, i will.

sincerely, bobby.

[lawless]

dear bobby,

he sounds like a faggot

sincerly,

-lawzzzz

[Osmosis Jones]

dear bobby,

he sounds like a faggot

sincerly,

-lawzzzz

i know, i ended up going to a party and he was there and was fucking nipping at my heels the entire night.

dear spark

i eat ramen in a completely different fashion now. thanks!

sincerely,

bobby

[Oxy.]

dear justin,

you have been slacking off a lot lately. you were doing so good and then you just started pissing away your life. i know for a fact you are capable of achieving great things, but you are letting your "friends" ruin your mind. you need to get back in college, get your degree and stop fucking around. this is to let you know you've been acting like a dick to everyone, and we all hate it and wish someone/something/someway you'd get some [good] sense knocked into you [nonviolently]. i don't know what happened, but you used to be my role model, and once i graduate this year, i thought we could hang, but not like this...

sincerely,

your cousin.

[sawn-off chef]

dear samantha,

you're a stupid bitch, you fuck half the guys in this town and suck off 3 different guys in one week, many of whom were my best friends at one point. you're a complete disgrace and a shame to even know or be associated with. i am glad that you're finally turning 18 so your grandparents are of no legal consequences from your fucking childish actions. you're not gonna be a nascar mechanic, or anything, you're gonna probably be a secretary or midwest waitress. i hope you grow the fuck up one day and learn how to act appropriately.

love,

your brother

[Guest bambam]

love,

your brother

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT!!!!

[sawn-off chef]

:| she sucks.