Superawkward

[OkayOkay]

Really tho, who has ever been that tired.

[evisu 2000]

when i'm drunk i basically sit down when i piss

also whatup to smoking wihle shitting

chewing gum while shitting is weird tho

[gettoasty]

lol thanks dudes

my only way of coping

if there is no one around i'll just pee normally at urinal then. i try to plan my rest stops after busy hours

[lmk1995]

Really tho, who has ever been that tired.

one time i woke up still drunk to take a piss, passed out standing up, hit my head on the toilet, and my nose started bleeding everywhere. i was too disoriented to know what was going on so i crawled back into bed. my roommates came back and saw the bathroom covered in blood and thought they'd walked into a crime scene.

[lawlercopterz]

how many beers does it take you to get that drunk?

[BearCousin]

two

[mr fluffernutter]

i have always peed sitting down

single mother influence maybe

Edited July 28, 2012 by diamonds

[dovo]

almost got arrested at the bank today because i couldn't remember how i signed my bank papers or my drivers license. posting this here because it was sorta awkward and also because theres no superstupid.

[OkayOkay]

I wanna cross reference whoever pees sitting down with that introvert thread, I'm gonna assume like 80%+ matches up.

[okonomi]

I guess in the sense that an introvert would be less bound by social norms. But seriously, being against sitting while peeing comes solely from gender discomfort.

(Though I still wouldn't broadcast it to girls )

Edited July 28, 2012 by okonomi

[nism]

reminds me of http://theoatmeal.com/comics/peeing_sitting_down

[StrangeLove]

I pee while crouching

[StrangeLove]

This girl that used to skate with my friends could pee standing up. This was in freshman year of HS I hear she's an escort now

[shinobi2000]

perhaps this belongs in the superconfessional but regarding peeing sitting down -- i do it only in the mornings when i'm too groggy to stand and because I have a raging morning hard-on -- sitting makes it easier to point it down so that I shoot the stream inside the toilet bowl.

[fobsquad]

sitting makes it easier to point it down so that I shoot the stream inside the toilet bowl.

gravity handles that for me

[andrewisdope]

^ you don't have any trouble peeing with a hardon? you should get your prostate checked.

walked in on subletter having sex with her boyfriend on the living room couch. usually we have the door set on autolock so you'd have to make noise with your keys trying to unlock it, which is why they probably thought it was safe. This time, it just happened to stay unlocked and I walked right in. My eyes met theirs for about 5 seconds. I waved, walked into my room and played 2chainz really loud.

[mr fluffernutter]

did you miss the part where he had a raging hard on?

[shinobi2000]

^ you don't have any trouble peeing with a hardon? you should get your prostate checked.

ha! thanks but I edited the entire process of my morning peeing -- yes I do wait a bit for it to subside before I can pee. But usually that point is before the hard-on completely disappears and therefore needs the above described technique of sitting on the bowl to more easily aim downward.

[redX]

let us all talk about shinobis hardon

[philosophiliac]

i heard it is magical

[ifeelasleep]

we should ask his pedo teacher about it

[unlivrenoir]

was jammin hard baked as fuck near the front at asap at osheaga, black bitch right in front of me with the hugest ass had her thin silk pants sucked in her asscheeks. the crowd was so packed, and for the first bit of the show my dick was literally grinding in between her asscheeks from people pushing and dancing. i got many dirty stares

[Augustus]

Seems like the girl didn't mind. The others were just jealous. Keep on dancing

[shinobi2000]

we should ask his pedo teacher about it

No don't! He'd give you an unfairly distorted opinion because I was just a boy then and it was a lot smaller.

[ojsimpson]

that awkward moment when you're paying for your $5.50 drink @ starbucks and you realize youre poor as shit

[dovo]

started playing basketball recently with one of my homies and after trying various courts we finally found a spot where we never have to really wait to play.

so this is the second or third week of us playing there and we figure out the quickest way to the court from the street and all that shit. so the other night were making our way to the court walking down this lowkey walkway through a side entrance. theres always a cluster of bums there and they never said or did anything weird before so it was like w/e.

well this time the band of bums that found themselves at the park this week were all giant gay black men. two of them were trannies. (not that theres anything wrong with that) i spot these giant ass dus. and one is about 6'5 muscular and wearing a fish net tank, booty shorts and flip flops. so were walking past them when all of a sudden du snaps around and just mad stares at us. were walking towards him or her while he's doing whatever the fuck he was doing to us with his eyes. we finally get close to them and he goes

"mmmm, girl im finna go over here to this basketball court cause thats where its finna be at honey" while him and his homies look us down.

my friend gets a lil freaked out as do i. but i say fuck it they aint gone do shit lets keep walking. as we get closer to the court theres a table full of old guys playing cards with their fuckin shirts off. but still we say fuck it were only going to be here for like an hour.

we start playing and from the corner of my eye i can see the big black tranny peaking out from the bushes him and his crew were chillin at. i ignore it thinking he is just clowning with his friends when and out of nowhere he starts screaming in our direction and twerkin and shit.

i got the fuck out of there.

[bfan]

sounds like he was gonna do this

[gettoasty]

i would be superscared ^

[the hall of vame]

that awkward moment when you're paying for your $5.50 drink @ starbucks and you realize youre poor as shit

bitch this aint twitter

[OkayOkay]

swung by the gas station yesterday to grab beers, and as I'm walking across the parking lot I notice a car by one of the pumps with this chubby, awkward looking 12ish or 13ish year old kid sitting in the passenger seat by himself. As I'm walking in front of it I look at him and notice he's eating a hotdog, but he's not really eating it, he's just thrusting the actual hotdog in and out of his mouth like he's blowing it, and right when I notice what he's doing, his eyes connect with mine and I can see the look of sheer terror and embarrassment on his face and he quickly removes it. I tried to pretend like I didn't see anything, but when I came back out he was ducking down and kind of hiding, shit was mad awkward. Got back in the car and I laughed for a sec, then felt bad, then laughed a lot more.