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Post some "Next level" shit.


theLorax

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

Bike sex man placed on probation

Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

Bikesex... Hope it's not going to go mainstream my bike doesn't look attractive

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i dont either, nothing says next level, its some old chick with dated clothes, burned out hair, american beer, shit even the date is 2 months ago. not next level at all, does not get my seal of approval.

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I apologize in advance if the language below may be incomprehensible, but I don't have time to simplify my writing to the level of a first-grader, or to organize my text to reach as wide a reading audience as possible. I also apologize as I don't know how to write for "the illiterate".

Apparently, you've never heard of ethical behavior. I asked you a simple question, which you obviously did not understand, and to which a simple NO would have sufficed. No need to expose a message I sent you in private. I may be naive, but not stupid.

I was in charge of a translation project: translating the story of an Amerindian boy trying to find his "inner voice". The author, used what is called an "Indian tone", which you obviously know nothing about . I personally don't like the term, but don't have much of an option. I don't like any of the collective words to refer to the many people who the Europeans met when they arrived on the "American" continent.

Just to illustrate what I meant by an Indian tone: Although U.S. Citizens anglophones(what some chose to call "Americans", "North Americans", etc.) and Canadians (who are also North Americans) are different nations, they share what is called a "North American tone", which is very different from what is called a British Tone, and all "Earthlins" share one tone, as we all speak languages based on the human phonological system. Apparently, to an alien arriving on this planet, human languages would sound all very similar. I am obviously aware of all the different "Native American" nations and would never regard them as one, just as I do not regard all of Asians as one people, simply because I can hear the "connective tissue" between Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Thai, although I speak Japanese which is very different from those languages. The same holds true for the Amerindian language families: Ojibwe (Ojibway, Anishinaabemowin, Chippewa, Ojibwa), Algonquin (Algonkin, Anishnabe, Anishinabe, Anishnabeg), and Cree (Western/Plains Cree, Northern/Woodlands Cree, Central/Swampy Cree, Moose Cree, and Eastern Cree), to name a few.

As a translator, it is my job to reproduce, as loyally as possible, the author's voice. I finally found someone with an Amerindian background who was smart enough to get my point and who was happy to help me with the challenging job, which was to produce a text that would not sound patronizing. My project won exactly because it made an honest effort to incorporate as many different Amerindian tonal aspects from one linguistic family as possible. It departed from a simple theory (which I won't bore you with). It was far from perfect. But most other projects simply translated from a "white man's/European" perspective, and the ones that tried to do the same thing I did assumed too much about the different Amerindian languages.

BTW: Portuguese is my mother tongue, but I also speak, read and write English, French, German, Spanish. Only understand: Japanese and Guarany

N E X T L E V E L S H I T

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