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i dunno what concept this is, but i usually put whatever i am wearing that days-lotion on after a shower so i dont spray clothes, etc.

makes u yummy and yumminess doest fade much throughout the day

otherwise its cocoa butterrrrrrrrrr, keep it tight.

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I got drunk at a bar with some of my best friends this one night when "SHOCK HORROR!" me and this gorgeous big titted girl made eye contact, instantly she knew she wanted to take me home and I knew that I would let her. The only problem: she was too drunk to get me back to her place for the full on fuck fest that was afoot. And personally I couldn't be bothered to pay for a taxi home, so we ended up fucking in a field. Once I had cum all up inside her fanny I remembered that I had a girlfriend and was disgusted with myself but even more more importantly I was disgusted by her. In my drunken, post-orgasm panic I reached into my pocket, pulled out as much spare change as would fit into my clenched fist and threw it at her as hard as I could, all the while screaming at her, accusing her of being a "no good dirty cum dumpster." 10 and 20ps slaping into her tits and face, she was crying and telling me to get the fuck away from her. And once I was done? I ran, I ran home as fast as I could, into the tender and loving embrace of my loving girlfriend.

Somethingawful never fails me.

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Im sick of old heads who think theyre on some groundbreaking shit using semi-new technology and thinking its some shit nobody has seen before...

Like people who STILL use their bluetooths in public places where EVERYONE can hear the worthless conversation your having about your friend and her new mini-van...LISTEN BITCH! NOBODY CARES! THATS WHAT TEXT MESSAGES ARE FOR!

Bet I wont forget my headphones on the train again!

I can still hear it in my head...

A VAN...YEAH, SHE GOT A VAN!!, VAN, WITH A V, ...V....A....N....YEAH SHE GOT A NEW ONE! (THIS WENT ON FOR OVER 10 MINUTES IN BROKEN ENGLISH SO NEITHER PERSON COULD UNDERSTAND EACHOTHER....FFFUUUCCCCKKK!!!!!!)

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son of a dyke bitch. my phone was stolen this weekend in cabo san lucas, and the mother fucker ran up a large amount of data charges. I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS

on the bright side, i've been here four days and already fooled around with four different girls. count it.

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it ain't the same!

u know i knever tell u, are very good at yelling with

your mouth shut? keep it up

``this will be a rock star sperm auction``

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on graduation yesterday, two friends of mine put an imported viagra pill from poland in my drink. that fucking piller fucked me up, got crazy red eyes and started telling sex-jokes when i opened the presents in front of all the guests. then at the cclub everyone thought i had smoked a great amount of weed.

on the other hand i guess i could be lucky because the pill should have given me an 8-hour erection

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sometimes i wear some shit just for fucks sake. Today i wore a 13 year old basketball jersey i had from the 6th grade...grant hill dream team 1996 like whoa

wore it with diors and dunks. ALmost thinking about posting it

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