favorite superfuture quote.

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haha thanks tipset.

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rajio doesn't like me much, as evidenced by his words of venom directed at me, but that doesn't matter... on the real he's one of the few whose perspective and mindset relating to life i can appreciate.

[kunk75]

you are a bigger man than me, f2b. anyway, fuck him

[wood 666]

I looked up John Duncans "Blind Date" and all I can say is that is atrociously relevant art.

I redid the trout story to something that is less funnny and more relevant.

The Moment of God's Destruction

by: gotothebathroom

I recline the seat in my old Buick and lay back, this is how I spend every lunchbreak. I don't like being around people, or animals for that matter, for too long. My mind wanders, I begin to contemplate the things they may be capable of, the thins they are capable of.

I hear in the distance a dog, and instantly I am transported back to that place, that place to which I wish I would return.

The two bears, fishing. I remember the exciting feeling, the wonder at all of God's creation and the thought that God had given us a gift today, he had allowed us a window into his power, to view these grizzlies fishing in the river. Out of respect we stay a hundred yards out on the ridge viewing them through the binoculars. Everything seemed perfect at that moment, being there in the wilderness with my father camping, the warm sun on my shoulders, not even the flies buzzing around my face could bother me this day. The mood was about to change...

I am back in the car, my eyes open, I realize I was there again, I was in that moment from which I fear I may never escape. I start the car and turn on the air. Why can't I forgot, oh god, why won't you let me forget.

The first glimmer that something is amiss... the bear catches the fish and carries it over to small puddle of water, holding it down with his paw and then watching the other bear. This continues for minutes while the other bear continues to fish. I remember it felt colder suddenly, a gust of wind. I noticed the smile left my fathers face, something was wrong, something was about to happen...

I turn the car off and walk back into work and sit down at my desk. I check my schedule and remember I have an appointment with my therapist this afternoon. I am not looking forward to it, I am still unsure if rehashing it over and over does anything but create more turmoil. The screen is blank, there was a power surge apparantely a storm is coming in. I stare blankly at the screen and I notice my reflection in the black monitor, it reminds me of the look on my fathers face that day.

"Son.... what is that bear doing"

"I don't know Dad..."

We both stare through our binoculars in silence now. The other bear catches a fish and the one that was holding his in the small puddle excitedly gets up and carries his in his mouth over to a small clearing. The other bear follows.

The sun is covered by a cloud. It get colder still.

The first bear places his fish on the ground facing the other bear a few feet away, he orients the fish towards the other bear with his fish. I get a distinct feeling in my stomach that these two fish are related, CLOSELY related. Something is wrong, something bad is about to happen.

"Josh!... Josh!"

"oh hey, sorry I was drifting off... did you need something?"

"yeah... I was just going to remind you to get your food out of the fridge... it's Friday and they are cleaning it out today... are you ok?"

"yeah yeah I'm fine... he he, sorry I know I was zoning there for a second..."

In reality I wasn't fine, I was in my moment, my horrible moment, as soon as she leaves it comes flooding back, my eyes glass over and my arms begin to tremble. The bears claw slices cleanly down the belly of his trout and the other trout held watching begins screaming "God NOOOOOO GOD NOOOOOOOO PLEASE GOD PLEASE GOD" thrashing fruitlessly against the bears grasp as he washes the insides spill out of his sister. At this point the gut feeling about the closeness of the two fish is so intense that I am made aware with 100% certainty that they are kin. I watch as the fish witnesses his sister writhe in pain, garggling blood, seeing all her organs fall beneath her. Now it is sure, she is descending into the abyss of death.

I slump in my chair, my shoulders shaking as I weep. A few coworkers notice but are afraid to say anything. I am weeping now clearly and everyone within a few cubicles can hear my sniffles. I bury my face in my arms, I beg god to let this memory go, to destroy it, to turn back time.

The moment is here, time stands stall and everything goes quiet. I can see the brother trouts mouth move as his captor smiles and grimaces but I can't hear his screams. His eyes are wide as saucers, every muscle in his face taught and flexed screaming so hard I'm sure his mouth will rip wide open. When recounting the story in therapy my father says at this point I was muttering "no... no... no" at this point but I don't remember anything but the tingling light headed indescribable feeling that everything I thought I knew about this world, this life, good and evil, was about to be shattered.

I am on the floor now in the fetal position beneath my desk, I am hyperventilating but I may as well be dead and gone because I am back there, I am out of my body and I am back in that moment again.

The beat lays on his back with his shoulders sitting upward propped against a stump.

He slides the trouts sisters body over his erect penis, and begins to vigorously and angrily masturbate using her hollowed out body. Everything in my vision goes fuzzy as I see the brother stare on, doing something that the word "screaming" just doesn't do justice, until he finally loses consciousness and goes limp. The other bear is beating more and more furiously and just as the brother fishs body goes limp he finishes and the bears ejaculate erupts inside the fish and a sizeable amount squeezes out the top of her mouth trickling down and inside all the crevices of her now mangled and deformed body. Just before he tosses her aside I see something that makes me vomit in my mouth a bit: she blinks. She is still holding on to life. Her brother is groggy and muttering "no... no...." as he lay with his eyes half open, wishing this were all just a horrible dream, wishing desperately that they could have just been quickly dispatched like every other trout caught by normal emotionally healthy bears.

It isn't over. I have urinated on myself underneath my desk and my sobbing has stopped, I am now just biting my fist as hard as I can and my face is held tight in a grimace. Blood trickles down my knuckles.

The bear holding the brother walks over to a tripod that I have now just noticed half concealed in the bushes. There is a red light... my god, they are filming it. The bear reaches in a black leather bag beneath the tripod and grabs a latex Mr. Rogers mask, but the eyes and mouth have zippers across them. He giddily slides it over his head, he is trembling with excitement. The other bear reaches into the bag and grabs a length of rope and binds the masked bears paws behind his mask the kicks him to his knees. The other bear unzips the mouth on the mask for him, then feeds him the mutilated bear sperm covered body of the sister trout which he eats with absolute joy letting out a barely audible squeal as he finishes the last bite.

The rest I cannot remember, I know that my dad had to carry me back to camp. I woke up a few hours later in a hot sweat, swearing up and down that god was a lie, that's all I would say... "god is a lie"

beneath my desk, I feel a dark black surround me, my heart seems to be seizing, my breath is short, through squinted tear filled eyes I make out the figures of my fellow employees looking on. I see an EMT.... I see my grandma and grandfather with open arms, and I walk towards them... I finally leave my moment forever.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHOMFGLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHABHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OOOOOOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

JESUS CHRIST JESUS CHRIST OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY FUUUUUUUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

GODDAMNIT THAT IS SO FUNNY

ESPECIALLY THE ""God NOOOOOO GOD NOOOOOOOO PLEASE GOD PLEASE GOD"" HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[mellowbonsai]

Well. Firstly i fuck you i am 18 years old. Oh yes i'm don't tall and fat like you but that doesn't make that i'm a kid.

Secondly i need to tell you a real story. I have bought my APC NC because it was a really sweet business. In effect i have bought it (3.5 month worn) SHAME ON ME at the price of 60€. It look very good and i never regret this sold. About the RAF by RAF. Can say that you have had the same in black and white. Besides, yes i have sold you a jeans, and maybe you have make some benefit so YOU'RE REALLY FANTASTIC , i have sold him 90€ and i have trade it ,without money trade, with Raf by Raf. So shame on me if i don't buy my clothes at the most price and if i try to make some great business. Yes, i'm not a fucking little son of rich like you. My parents don't pay me all that i want but i am not a fucking bastard and i have friend. So ,i have understand that i don't be part of your little faggot circle of rich guy who everybody sucks everybody. That's really funny it's that you make exactly same things on this forum. You have try to denigrate me at everybody eyes and when you have seen that "Big Men of Sufu" doesn't be allright with you you have suck them. You're really a faggot and frienless. You're so funny in you're shit rich bad chilhood. JULIEN. Yeah besides why have you add me to friends on Facebook 2 months ago to finnally ejest me 3 weeks later ?

I'm really sorry about the poverty of my english language.

so many great lines

I could kinda tell from the pics that she was in for the club sofa tounge-n--go because she didn't even bother to set down her chanel bag.

and jj coming through the superlifestyle knowledge

[chronoaug]

JJ did us all a great service.

[mike lowrey]

this one was a cracker:

i'd never have the balls to carry that purse. and im a fan of sucking cock.

Julius . Julius . Lad Musician . Julius . Ampersand

[inaya]

this chris one made me laugh too:

lol. i dress gayer than all of you and i've never been 'gay bashed'.

guys in groups giggle around me sometimes though. but they dont say anything. and if they did, i'd tell them to stop giggling like a bunch of faggots.

[kunk75]

please adjust system to handle multiple +reps.

this one was a cracker:

[whitney]

too cute.

[mr fluffernutter]

"Spidey’s reputation skyrocketed when one portrait was silkscreened in limited numbers onto T-shirts"

[Seething Tortoise]

See my sig. I think Dick was saying it to some hypebeaster who came along talking about Canes way back when. I enjoyed it and sigged it.

[Charlie Delta]

"Spidey’s reputation skyrocketed when one portrait was silkscreened in limited numbers onto T-shirts"

Am confused, is this about Sid and just a typo?

If not, what is it about...

[pavlova cakesworth]

i thought it was about sid and the shirt with westside on it. is that right?

[st_]

Am confused, is this about Sid and just a typo?

If not, what is it about...

see here and here.

[Charlie Delta]

Thanks, I see now.

Damn me for nothing being up to date, I should've clicked that thread...

[jane]

"I KNOW I have good taste in fashion"....

[djrajio]

this one was a cracker:

please adjust system to handle multiple +reps.

I don't think its very funny.

[Halifamous]

I don't think its very funny.

That's too bad, you're missing out.

[billy.]

i imagined daniway getting undressed in front of egpt in real life and him replying

your underwear sucks daniway

[kunk75]

what's charlie murphy like in real life?

I don't think its very funny.

[djrajio]

Hopefully doesn't look like this:

[kunk75]

you tried that shit before. your ass still looks like the purple one.

[jpgm]

i enjoyed the response to this spamborg in the 'no more html in sigs?' thread.

thanks for sharing dude!______________________________Your forever friend lifts you up in spirits and makes that dark and empty maple story mesos world suddenly seem bright and full.

WHAT??????

you are a fucking queer

[jpgm]

I go to extreme lengths not to go to the bathroom at work.

the women's is fucking GLACIAL, you can practically see your breath in there.

Also, theres some new bitch who is always peeing in my stall and it smells like vag if I go in after she has left

is she fat? my wife wife claims there is a fat-woman vag smell in public restrooms that is unmistakable. she generally will hold it too.

naw, she's just this normal, middle aged woman.

I feel bad because maybe she has some sort of disorder but it GROSSES ME OUT and whenever I se her walk out as Im about to walk in I wish I could take her aside and offer her some monestat or something

true public bathrooms often reek of vag as well. I dont even bother with those

..........

[cinderella]

o u were serious!

[whitney]

Frm the movies that make you tear up thrad

i cry during few movies each year. i cry because they are so bad and i'm sitting in the middle of the row with no way out.

[Ahlvahroe]

i just saw this got quite a laugh out of me

i like 10% try

change ur name then

"rarely struggle"!?!?!??

constant confrontation avoidal

wouldn't "pussy" be shorter ?!

good point

from here on we call him "pussy"

[dino might]

oh and sometimes i pee and scrape the poop stains off the side.

...................

[insidertrading]

from "Hova in W+H hoody?" thread:

This dude has spent more money than any of you will ever earn in your lifetimes, has shopped in probably every single country on the planet, and has been dressing in stylish and expensive clothing since you were in the 2nd grade. Fuck off with the thinly veiled racial implications of a guy wearing a sweater, fags. While you spend all day on superfuture, this guy gets out of his Scrooge McDuck money-filled swimming pool and has naked ladies feed him gourmet food, and when he checks his mail it is filled with the clothing you masturbate about on the internte, sent to him for free by the people who make it in hopes that he might wear it in a picture that is posted online.

You guys are out of your fucking minds, f'rilla.

i need to retract something. Jay-Z does not check his mail. Memphis Bleek checks Jay-Z's mail.

like wolves said, thats what stylist get paid to do. this shit should be a no brainer.

okay. his stylist is a lady. your stylist is the fucking internet.