SuperDepressed (support community)

[tac0tron]

So, I don't know if this is the right place for this, but I have a question..

 

Does anyone have anything they'd like to convey about dating someone with severe depression/anxiety? My current gf's case has been pretty bad lately. I know there's not much I can do, and that saddens me, but really all I can do is just be there for her right? 

[xerrox]

Almost two years ago I took shrooms when I was depressed and it was like they opened the door to think in a positive way when I knew I was being irrational. Went through a rough patch for like a year, but then I got a job and moved to DC and I mean I guess everything is going fine but it's been like 6 months and I just feel like there's a huge something missing in my life. At the same time, the year before moving here was so bad that I've kind of become numb to everything.

 

Cue this weekend, go up to NY and do shrooms again. This time, the trip itself was fine, but it's almost like it opened the door to be like "naaaahhhh ur going to soberly reflect on all these things wrong with your life" so needless to say the last few days have put me in a funk.

 

The shrooms giveth, the shrooms taketh.

[Kale Kohai]

ehhh taking psychedelics in a poor mental state (depressed) is a recipe for disaster. Be careful. 

[xerrox]

Yeah, I hear that. I've done a lot of psychedelics and the first go-round I realized that it could potentially go bad but it turned out to be awesome. This time it was more like...revealing of subconscious thoughts I had, I guess, because if you asked me four days ago if I was depressed I would say absolutely not, even if things are just kind of neutral. The trip itself wasn't very intense at all. It's more like thinking about it afterwards that has me re-evaluating things.

[sporty]

this should turn out to be awesome as well. you know your problems, now you gotta face them. hiding will only prolong the inevitable. 

[aymerikmd]

sometime my heartbeat is superfast, feel like im having a panic attack, i never used to have those before,
( i was fucking going to the apple store and my heart was crazy fast, like wtf, i wasnt anxious at all to go there, i dont understand)

godamn, it really suck.. im so new to these anxiety things., 

Edited March 4, 2015 by aymerikmd

[Kale Kohai]

Ya my panic attacks when I was younger used to feel like heart attaches. It would either end up with me barfing or exhaling all my CO2. Hope you get to the bottom of this :/ severe anxiety is the worst

[xchen]

In my experience while I was undergoing a bunch of anxiety attacks I was hyper sensitive to anything going on with my body. The slightest change and I'd work myself up into a full blown anxiety attack.

Eventually as you accept this and realize you're in this hyper sensitive state you can move past it. A book that helped me was "hope and help for your nerves"

[shoreman]

So, I don't know if this is the right place for this, but I have a question..

 

Does anyone have anything they'd like to convey about dating someone with severe depression/anxiety? My current gf's case has been pretty bad lately. I know there's not much I can do, and that saddens me, but really all I can do is just be there for her right? 

 

Be careful. It's better to have people think you're a dick for a short period of time than to waste a good chunk of your life hoping things will get better for your significant other. Yes, definitely be there for her. However, if you get the impression her case is rather severe, you're better off being friends and creating some emotional distance. It's healthier for her, too, because she won't externalize some of her confusion/anger/sadness into her interactions with you. You'd do well to gauge whether her symptoms lean more towards anxiety or depression. (Suffering from anxiety sucks--and can lead to feeling useless, which needs to be monitored--but it's different than engaging in self-destructive behaviour.)

[tac0tron]

^she has both.

 

hence, she is taking a break from next quarter for these reasons.

Edited March 15, 2015 by tac0tron

[lysosome]

^she has both.

 

hence, she is taking a break from next quarter for these reasons.

I dated someone with borderline personality disorder and PTSD when I was in a bit of an up period in my depression/anxiety. If you haven't been diagnosed with anything/can be assumed to be neurotypical your case is slightly different but I would say that yes, all you can really do is be supportive and try to influence her positively through your own positive thinking. Don't take it personally if she doesn't seem to get excited for things you two used to do together (many SSRSIs and depression itself serve to decrease libido for example). Basically, if you still feel up to the relationship and can be supportive emotionally and otherwise I think it will most likely affect a positive outcome in her treatment. For myself, one of the best things that happened was the relationship ending--It made me that much more self-reliant. If you stayed together, harboring resentment toward her etc. I think that would be much more negative. 

Edited March 16, 2015 by lysosome

[GTC]

Yeah, I hear that. I've done a lot of psychedelics and the first go-round I realized that it could potentially go bad but it turned out to be awesome. This time it was more like...revealing of subconscious thoughts I had, I guess, because if you asked me four days ago if I was depressed I would say absolutely not, even if things are just kind of neutral. The trip itself wasn't very intense at all. It's more like thinking about it afterwards that has me re-evaluating things.

Lots of new and interesting research being done again in the science community regarding psychedelics/psilocybin, aimed at helping people suffering from anxiety and depression. Done in a controlled environment (safe setting and dose) with participant monitoring, learning from Q&A afterwards/writing about experiences. Hope it goes mainstream soon, outside of seeking out a shaman. Too many suffering these days.

[timber]

I started fostering dogs and it seriously helped me with my social anxiety/depression.

Just having to wake up the morning to take it out was a big thing, but also going on walks and talking to everyone who stop to pet her. It sort of gives me a reason/purpose to actually get out of the house. 

 

 It's also awesome to have a little pup around who is always excited to see me. 

[thefuture]

i always wonder if theres a telltale sign when im walking down street and ppl are thinking

 

"yeah its been four or five days since he left the house" 

[ShakeEmUp]

Starting to wonder if I'm bipolar. Been dealing with anxiety/depression for a couple of years, probably longer without realizing it, and I still can't get out of my head questioning my self esteem and confidence. I thought I kicked it for a while because I'll have periods where I feel really focused and put a ton of effort into school, trying to take photos consistently, and working out/dieting, but then I feel like it's just me trying to make myself "better" that I am.

 

Hard to find that line between being content with yourself and wanting to make yourself a better person 

[aymerikmd]

last year in august, i dumped my then girlfriend of 3 years, ( we were in same school, same program, same classes.., i met her there)
dumped her cause there was no flame anymore, it was dead, by the end there was barely any sex, were just always tired, i was kinda turn off that she didnt share same interest as me in general, from movie/books/music to other shits like that, was like the complete opposite, anyways we were more friends then lover in the end, so i dumped her and she agreed with me, she was feeling the same just wouldnt make a move. so everything went great, were good friends, still hang out sometime and chill.

then she went off in asia for 5months, didnt think of her or anything or miss her as a 'lover'

fast forward to right now, she just got backlast week, ive saw her at some design school night, hanged out with her all night and other friends, talk about her vacation. just saw her again on saturday for her welcomeback party with lot of other friends and peoples, we blazed and drank a lot, dance, chill.

then it hit me back home, i miss her, i miss our relation, its kinda like the break up just fuckin hit me almost after a YEAR ? make no sense to me, i had some one night things here and there during that time but nothing serious. 

then like a fuckin douche, i texted her, went back to her place, i was fuckin blazed, and told her i miss her, like before, like i though she missed me too but like the super good friends we were, not as lover. so i was like ok thats chill i just wanted to say it.

next morning i text her im sorry about yesterday, that i was confused and probably just lonely right now, missing a person but probably not her and that i wanna still remain good friends ( im going to uni soon and shes gonna be same program as me again .. probably same class i guess lol ? ) she agreed and everything went back to normal.

i felt like a fuckin 15yo cry baby that didnt know how to control his emotions, i think at least i pulled out right before makin a fool of myself, but still, i kinda wonder if i really miss her or im just lonely as fuck right now 

Edited May 18, 2015 by aymerikmd

[GMM13]

^ In a similar situation myself except she was the one that called it off. I could tell the flame was gone but I just thought it was because she had uber hard classes last semester (our senior year). But yeah we both talk about being kinda unhappy, but hers is because of school just destroying her and mine is because I miss her (or maybe im just lonely?). Which she is most likely knows. Maybe this is more of a superawkward post..

[easily drawn offsides]

does anybody know of any visible correlation between working nightshift and anxiety? not sure on whether I have anxiety, but I guess I wouldn't post in here if I wasn', curious. since I started working nightshift around 2.5 years ago, it's like staying awake when I'm exhausted and attempting to catch some sleep through the day when I'm wide awake is turning my body upside down. read also that it's not good for physical wellbeing as well, any truth..? edit: Soz future for the minus rep, i have tired fingers also.

Edited May 25, 2015 by quentincook

[thefuture]

its ok i love u

 

never heard any correlation between those two things but i know i sleep a lot better these days since i plan my sleep.

 

nap max 20 minutes

sleep in lots of 90 mins so 1.5hr, 3hr, 4.5hr ..

 

supposedly the 20 is before you enter deep sleep and 90 is just after you come out. i rarely wake up groggy. i have 3 hours soon as i get home from work and 4.5 before i get up. hope that helps

[timber]

It could be this-- if you don't sleep in complete darkness your body gets all wiggity whack. It suppresses the production of melatonin or some shit, and messes up your hormones as well. Even just having one night of poor sleep can make your anxiety worse. 

I lived in this condo for a year with some stupid strata law that wouldn't let me change the flimsy blinds that were pre-installed. There was a street light directly outside my window, and the room was so bright I could read a book comfortably without switching on any other lights. I rarely got a good night sleep. It definitely made a huge difference in my anxiety levels. 

[gettoasty]

body reacting not so well to particular foods as i age. 

 

MSG et al is wrecking havoc on my face. fml

 

i already have a diet where it is stripped of dairy. now i have to be careful with "bad salts" etc. basically eat very clean but then i realize how expensive organic/raw foods and ingredients can be. ugh

 

i just feel like this all makes me an even duller person, even my food is boring.

Edited May 27, 2015 by gettoasty

[sporty]

Maybe you could grow your own food? It's not hard + gardening, even if you don't produce anything, should be good for you. 

Or try to buy directly from farmers. You could also check your area if there are any CSA's around. 

[thefuture]

idk why ur food gota be interesting haha .. if ur healthy and happy then what does it matter. brown rice +chicken/beef and vegetables. switch for good pasta or fish every now and then. 

[conqueror]

I lived in this condo for a year with some stupid strata law that wouldn't let me change the flimsy blinds that were pre-installed. There was a street light directly outside my window, and the room was so bright I could read a book comfortably without switching on any other lights. I rarely got a good night sleep.

i lived in an apartment 5ish years ago with the exact same issue. thankfully i had a friend who was an electrician, so i got him to come over late one night with his ladder and he just ripped the fuse out. the following month of complete darkness was total bliss.

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

body reacting not so well to particular foods as i age. 

 

MSG et al is wrecking havoc on my face. fml

 

i already have a diet where it is stripped of dairy. now i have to be careful with "bad salts" etc. basically eat very clean but then i realize how expensive organic/raw foods and ingredients can be. ugh

 

i just feel like this all makes me an even duller person, even my food is boring.

 

do you not have an ethnic grocery around you? mexican or indian or asian? guarantee you can make decent clean food that's tasty for pretty fucking cheap.  i didn't realize how expensive mainstream groceries were until i set foot in a mexican grocer that was 1/10th the price. 

[tomee]

body reacting not so well to particular foods as i age. 

 

MSG et al is wrecking havoc on my face. fml

 

i already have a diet where it is stripped of dairy. now i have to be careful with "bad salts" etc. basically eat very clean but then i realize how expensive organic/raw foods and ingredients can be. ugh

 

i just feel like this all makes me an even duller person, even my food is boring.

priorities plays a good part in here. if organic food is too expensive for you and health is really that important to you. cut down on clothing and invest in food.

[gettoasty]

Cooking @ home with my brother. We were pretty clueless shopping but it's all working out. 

 

Brown rice pasta taste weird though. Not sure I can get use to that texture, it is really grainy/sandy. 

 

Baby bok choy is delicious, and I managed to cook IMO perfectly tender chicken breast whole last night. Just salt and paper. 

 

My face is clear once again, yes! But another company function is around the corner at another restaurant. It's so awkward when sitting next to client and they ask me why I'm not eating. (It's not very polite.) 

[timber]

I just went on a week long vacation with my in-laws and am getting like, delayed anxiety. Anyone else get that? I'm usually really good at keeping my shit together, or at least I think I am, until I suddenly hit a wall and go a little nuts. 

[haploid]

this sounds really crazy, but there is evidence that cold showers on the regular help to alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inner-source/201407/cold-splash-hydrotherapy-depression-and-anxiety

 

i personally notice a huge effect. i do the Scottish shower technique:

warm shower as usual to clean up, then completely turn the water all the way cold right when the seconds hand of my watch hits the noon position. the water gets very cold and takes your breath away, but you mentally work to remain calm and breathe normally. as it showers down you rub the ice water all over your extremities, especially taking time to let it spray right down on your head and face. while this happens i visualize the cold water purifying my thoughts (funny i know... but try it next time you feel really mentally unwell). i usually make it about a minute and a half until i switch back to warm water. repeat two or three times at the end of every shower. basically feels like hitting a "refresh" button for your mood and mindset. i find it very effective especially in dealing with anxiety as the feeling of forcing yourself to remain calm as the water comes down actually translates to dealing with an extreme mood.

 

try it guys   cant hurt and has loads of other health benefits too. i find it helps with hangovers too.

[tomee]

^ cold water showers are good for the skin and indeed have many other benefits. outside the books it works together where your mind communicates with your thinking which results in more potential progress i believe. just don't be to critical too soon. it takes time to get used to.