superconfessional

[bernt]

A friend of mine has "Pediatric Gynocologist" on some business cards he got for free. He uses them for free lunch drawings and stuff like that.

[Servo2000]

[e0d9n0b5]

I've always wanted to have some cards printed up to hand out, advertising myself as something patently absurd, like "Holistic Detective / Space-Age Party Planner."

I think the funniest business cards ever appeared in the show Arrested Development, David Cross' character is an analyst and therapist, the cards say "Analrapist"

EDIT wow seriously servo it didn't even take me that long to type up

[Servo2000]

LATE PASS BlTCH

[edwithoutahead]

I always liked Newman's

[defiance]

Because kentheboob sed something about Backstreet Boys, Im kicking back at work with e Heiny listening to Backstreet Boys on youtube...

Im playing the Chinese singalong version.

this one's better... i think.

oeiWKchdCA8

[Caps Lock]

I'm laughing at her suffering. You had a chance. LULLZZZZZZ!

[Guest]

finger nail got ripped off .. hurts more than i thought it would

[BTT]

i will like to make a confession.

i went into a sexchatroom with my roommate really drunk. and started fucking around with the guys in there saying that I was Chris Hansen. I changed sns, and some guy wanted to phone sex, and i gave him the NYPD number.

[Huerequeque]

Here's a really long one. I don't expect anyone to read it. I just had to type it out of my system...

my best friend and I moved in with his girlfriend about 8 months ago. I didn't know what she was like. As it turns out, she's very controlling and emotionally abusive to him. What I'm about to tell you sounds like embellishment or even masochistic. However, it is true. Sadly.

He isn't allowed to do anything. "Anything" isn't just go out and hang out with his friends. "Anything" includes hang out with me, in my room, which is also in the same exact apartment. He isn't allowed to watch what he wants on the tv (which is my tv) or play video games. I've not once witnessed him watch what he wants. When a request is made, it is met with degrading insults if not yelling from the bitch. He is called stupid in so many ways every day, also worthless. At first she didn't want to drive or want a car. She would have him drive her everywhere. He couldn't make plans with people because she had him schlepping her around everywhere. Now she's not afraid of driving... SO SHE JUST TAKES HIS CAR! He is basically treated like absolute dirt and other people other than me have witnessed this crap. For 8 months i've sat there, said nothing and done nothing while she talks to him like shit. When i try to lighten the mood she gets nasty with me. Still, i sat and did nothing. She periodically "kicks him out." Then calls him over and over only to yell at him for leaving. She belittles him in front of other people. We were at a mutual friend's (not of hers though) wedding. People kept coming up to me telling me that they think that she's awful before i ever said anything about her and asking me if she always treats him like crap as they had witnessed. I had to shrug my shoulders and say "i don't know." It's been awful witnessing this. He's literally treated like the shit on a shoe and not allowed to do much of anything. He can't play video games with me or come into my room. When he does, he's only there for a few minutes before she starts yelling his name in the way that an angry mother yells for a fucking child. Still, I kept my mouth shut.

Last week my friend taylor and I got drunk. Taylor puked but didn't get it all into the toilet. Some got on the floor, the bathroom door, and as I didn't know, her door. I cleaned up what I saw. A week went by and nobody said anything about the excess puke that i had missed. Today I get a message from my roomate telling me in a timid way that there was puke, and that i had to clean it up because taylor is my friend. I understand this, but there's more. his voice sounded the way that it does when he's told to tell me something by his sicko girlfriend.

So i call him back and say that i'm sorry that i missed the puke. he said that it wasn't he who was responsible for leaving the awkward message about it a week later, but he was doing it by request of his girlfriend. I got stern with him, not over the puke, but because of bottled up anger over his pathetic situation and i said "i'll clean up the puke when you stand up to your girlfriend. she treats you like fucking shit." I hung up.

He calls me back a bit later, I pick up and he's mumbling, being very timid. I ask him to go to a place where we can talk alone. I then tell him everything that I feel about the situation. That she treats him like shit. Belittles him, bosses him around, never lets him just be him. picks on every little thing about him. lHe denies it, then I hear her start screaming into the phone. Either she was listening in the entire time or she flipped when she heard him say "she doesn't treat meike shit." I hang up when i hear her awful voice. his number then starts to call me back over and over. i don't know if it was him or her. i was just disgusted by his submission in how he couldn't even have a private conversation with his roomate. I ignored each call.

Some time passes and I leave my phone at my girlfriends place and go out to eat. I get back about an hour and a half later and there's a voicemail from his number but its her, like she was trying to trick me into confrontation and he was willing to let her take the reigns of an issue that was supposed to be part of a private conversation between he and I. He didn't even have the dignity to not let her use his phone to trap me. She goes on to say that "i'm the one always talking shit" (he's told me that she hates me, this was before i ever said anything bad about her at all. he said not to worry though, that she hates everybody. nevertheless, i've heard that she's talked about me from other people before i even started to get pissed about all of this) and that "she doesn't hate me and has just tried to be friends" which is complete crap, because she's the most condescending nasty person that i've ever met. She talks to me like i'm stupid and never has the chops to back up her insane trustfund baby art school logic. The logic of a sheltered little bitch trying to rebel against mommy and daddy without cutting off the money. This cunt always talks about how she's going to be a "famous artist," talks about how we "don't get it" and actually fucking says "i'm the only one going anywhere in this house." No, she's not joking.

Now things are bad. This all happened today. I hate melodrama. It took a long time to work up the nerve to talk to him about this. It was meant to be private, I couldn't even have that. Now I feel guilty and humiliated. He's chosen to submit like a cuckhold. My intention wasn't to make him go one way or another, just to let him know that i'm concerned and that I think that his situation is just plain sick. I've never seen such a controlling person and such a codependent person mixed with an awful case of bipolar and borderline personality disorder.

This bitch goes to an expensive art school. she doesn't pay her rent or pay for anything really, her mommy does. She calls all of the shots and nobody can ever get a word in or she just erupts and throws tantrums. What should I do, stuperfuture?

PS: This bitch is totally not worth it for him, imo. She looks like a female butthead. No joke...

[spacemanvt]

is it possible to be that pussywhipped?

[Huerequeque]

is it possible to be that pussywhipped?

See, that's why I'm so blown away by this. As I read what I wrote it occurs to me that the case itself sounds embellished. The fact of the matter is, there's actually so much more. I could go on long enough to knock out a good 10 pages on this bitch.

Apparently it is possible to be that pussywhipped. I'm really just struck dumb by the situation because this is a guy who used to be so confident and fun-loving. Now he's just depressed and awkward...

[dino might]

i just got a $500.00 dollar speeding ticket.

[chronoaug]

i just got a $500.00 dollar speeding ticket.

Fuck, man! Where were you driving and how fast to get a $500 one?

[sidneylo]

...

Apparently it is possible to be that pussywhipped. I'm really just struck dumb by the situation because this is a guy who used to be so confident and fun-loving. Now he's just depressed and awkward...

My 2cents:

No matter what you say to her, you won't sway or expose her to her own faults. She's one of those people who are dead set from the start... no use in actually trying to set things right with her.

You should, however, find the appropriate place and time to give her a piece of your mind--not for her sake, but for your friend's sake. I suppose your friend might have to side with her, but you owe it to your friend. Down the line he might realize it, but I would think that this is something you can't just ignore.

Lay that bitch down for the count. Shit on her pillow.

[dino might]

Fuck, man! Where were you driving and how fast to get a $500 one?

100 in a 50 on i4. fuck my life.

[Analog]

Lay that bitch down for the count. Shit on her pillow.

Dayum! Tha's sum ol'-school gangsta-vendetta shit right thur ...

[jayrock]

put Nair in her shampoo bottle

bald bitches are very artistic

[Huerequeque]

Thanks for the advice, guys. What kind of fucked up shit can I do to her? I thought about pissing in her sponge. My girlfriend put boogers all over her shit. I need more ideas, stealth ideas.

[sidneylo]

Two words: needles. condoms.

Unless she's on bc then you can swap em out for placebos.

[dino might]

sid youre a malevolent son of a bitch<3

[chronoaug]

Holy shit! Sid is out for blood. I know who to come to when someone wrongs me next.

[Corbin Law]

you need stars, ninja stars.

[junglejane]

- pee in her face cream

- put finely ground chili powder(or dust, or anything that should't go in your eyes) in her eyeshadow

- make extra strength ex-lax brownies and after she eats some, casually mention that the toilet is broken and the plumber comes tomorrow morning

more to come..

[sidneylo]

- Put bleach in her shampoo.

- Take a single bite out of every food she owns in the fridge.

- Ejaculate in her face cream.

-

dXyxOIR-_Is

[hamham3001]

agreed on buttered floor.. and the cream.

[Guest]

yes, put butter on the fucking floor

also epicac in her drink

make her puke on her own door

personally i would just treat her the same way she treats your friend, but i wouldnt even consider that a strategy that's just the way i am

[junglejane]

just fucking pour syrup in her bedsheets and unleash some bugs in there

[skiniks]

superman dat ho

superman dat hoe 2448 up, 302 down

when you ejaculate on a girls back then put a blanket on her so when she stands up the blanket sticks therefore making her look like she has a cape.

superman dat hoe everyday.

tags superman dat hoe sex cum

by blink21 stoney creek Aug 21, 2007 email it

[broneck]

100 in a 50 on i4. fuck my life.

they pretty much hang you in canada for that shit

there's signs everywhere "50 over, maximum $10,000 fine and roadside impounding"